Scene One: The Grand Escape--Twice!
Let me set the scene for you: A bridal shop. Around mid-afternoon. Two years after Kudo's shrinking and almost three years after I'd become Kaitou Kid.
We were all in search of something for our favorite 'neechan.' What would that be that would be found in a shop that proposes marriage and-or something implying that one is getting married? Well, that would be the perfect thing for any young woman for her wedding. A dress, naturally. And it wouldn't be an ordinary one, of course. Despite Kudo being unable to attend this get-together because of a more serious reason than the superstition that the groom shouldn't see the bride in her dress until the wedding, we still had three young men to help out with the selections along with the intelligent input from the three other females.
Aoko was beside herself, really. Her face was all red and she had her fists clenched, waiting impatiently for her dearest friend to listen to her when she demanded something. Of course, this friend liked to remain ignorant of her impatience and just let her stew until she burst:
"KUROBA KAITO, IF YOU DON'T TAKE OFF THAT DRESS, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU BE A FLOWER GIRL!"
...did I mislead you? Sorry.
That dearest friend I was speaking of was me, of course. Ran-chan was still getting her dress on, but as everyone knows, when I get bored there is hardly anything that can stop me from doing something ridiculous. Of course, this was ridiculous enough to get looks from even the other side of the store. Aoko must have been mad as hell, seeing me standing there in my emergency bridal disguise--minus the feminine details and makeup. That would have been a little too much for her, as she didn't know I was the Kaitou Kid yet.
Eh...now you're going to be asking why I didn't tell her even though Kudo's secret was blown way open to everyone in our small group the very same day he was returned to normal. Simple answer for me, really. Despite Kudo's continued attempts to bring justice to the Black Organization, I still had yet to find the Pandora and wouldn't allow it to go unchecked. Even if seemed as if the Organization had lost its hold. I didn't trust the world enough to even think that.
So I was still the Kaitou Kid. Well, that didn't mean that some people didn't know. Hakuba, Hattori, and Kudo were all in the know because I was the one that helped them really take down the Black Organization. That's why there was a truce between us. They were free to catch me when I was at work. Once a civilian, however, I wasn't to be touched. They kept that truce pretty well, unless they had the urge to do something cruel and unusual.
Like shoving me into a dressing room so they didn't have to stare at me in a dress. Hakuba and Hattori were so stunned that I had done such a thing that as soon as Aoko had shouted, they had done that very thing to me. I didn't take this sitting down, of course, and merely exited the dressing room again, holding up the bouquet in exasperation. "I'm only trying to make Ran-chan feel more comfortable!"
Ran-chan poked her head from behind her own dressing room door and gave Sonoko and Kazuha a confused look as they blocked her from view. "What's going on?" she asked, curious. "Did I hear that Kaito-kun was in a dress?"
"No, no, no," Kazuha was quick to reassure her, as if it would have been a terrible thing to let her know the truth. "Kaito's just..."
Sonoko finished with a cruel grin toward Aoko and me, "Trying to see if a dress would fit Aoko-chan just right."
There was a long pause between the two detectives and the two best friends--Aoko and me, of course. I looked over to her just as she looked over to me, and we immediately went red. I was then shoved into the dressing room again by the detectives, being informed that they would start singing about those evil, disgusting little things that live in the ocean, gulping up water and plankton and bugs and seaweed and anything else that could get into their gross, disgusting, terrible, gaping mouths.
Yes, they threatened with fish. Excuse me while I shudder.
And puke.
And run away screaming.
What's wrong with a guy having a fear of aquatic creatures? I mean, really.
Okay, back to the story.
I was done playing dress up for the moment and was sat between the two detectives to be watched over. It felt almost like I had my own little security guards already even though I was about as free from jail as Kudo was from elementary.
Sorry. Lousy pun. I couldn't help it. It's always sitting right there.
You know what. This is a very slow beginning, but it'll get better. Promise. Phantom thief's honor.
"Okay, she's ready!" Sonoko announced while Kazuha giddily came over and sat next to Hattori, making the Osaka-tanned detective look to her funny. I think he didn't get the idea that she wanted him to see her reaction to the dress so he'd get the idea to ask the girl out. Sadly, I've noticed in my times with the detectives that relationships are not their strong point.
...I know what you're thinking. Neither is mine. The difference is that I know what young women like because I have to dress up as them half of the time. Plus I have a mother who taught me these sort of things to rely on later in life. The only reason I act like an idiot is because I have my role to play. See, Kuroba Kaito gets on women's nerves. Kaitou Kid swoons them with merely a glance and a smirk.
Could be the mysterious, daring, and dangerous parts of the persona that people are in love with, but whatever works.
Aoko stood dutifully near the mirror, smiling brightly, also probably imagining herself in a wedding dress. The problem is that I wasn't sure who she was picturing for the groom. Maybe she was just standing alone in a dress in her day dream? Hah, fat chance.
Sonoko remained near the dressing room door and cleared her throat before announcing as if Ran-chan was a royal princess, "Here's the perfect dress for Mouri Ran, soon to be Kudo Ran! Come on out, Ran!"
There was a long pause.
I swear I saw a vein appear on the blonde's forehead right before she turned to the door. "Are you okay in there, Ran?" she asked kindly, though she probably knew why Ran-chan was hesitating.
It's not everyday you realize you're going to marry your best friend and the man you love...
That made me sound a whole lot more troubled than describing myself in a dress.
"Sonoko," Ran-chan said in a moaning whine, "I don't know if I can do this. It's too much. Too much designs. Too much white. Too much--"
"Too much talking, not enough action," interrupted Sonoko, nodding along before gaining a very evil grin that made the others sweatdropped. I myself could learn to appreciate that kind of a grin. "You're right, Ran. There's entirely too much of that going on, so how 'bout I help you out in there--" And in she went, her entrance punctuated with some squeals and shrieks.
Then Ran was pushed out of the dressing room, wearing a very nice and very simple white wedding dress. I viewed it with the eye of a thief and costume wearer. Even though it was simple, there was still the small, intricate pattern of sakura petals falling from branches. The branches were sown across the left breast and the sakura petals fell down to the end of the skirt, which wasn't too wide or long for Ran-chan at all. A pretty dress that symbolized a lot of things.
Needless to say that everyone loved it.
"Wow, Neechan," Hattori said in wide-eyed surprise. "Wait until Kudo gets to see you in that."
Ran-chan's face went red at that while Kazuha and Aoko skipped over to her, talking a mile a minute about makeup, hairstyle. I heard my name mentioned there somewhere but didn't dare to interject for fear of female wrath.
Hattori must have heard his name mentioned, too, because he was the one to lean over and suggest to Hakuba, "Any chance of us getting out of here without them noticing?"
The half-British, tweed-wearing detective barely glanced across me over to him. "Only one chance," he stated calmly, taking care not to let the women know what they were conspiring to do.
"You're right," Hattori agreed before they both went silent.
I sat there for a minute before realizing why they were so quiet. I looked to either side of me, and they were both staring at me intently. Sweatdropping, I asked with a laugh, "Did I leave the veil on when I took off the dress or something?"
Neither said anything.
I tossed my hands up. "All right! Fine!" I agreed to their silent terms before sternly reprimanding them, "You know this is abuse of my abilities and not only will I remember this, I will make you rue the day that you ever decided to use my abilities in public like this. And we had a truce, too! And what kind of law-abiding men are you for trying to skip out--"
They both slapped hands onto my mouth, hissing for me to be quiet. I mentally grinned at my plan working and managed to work my magic to pull out three manikins to stand in front of each of us without either Hakuba or Hattori being the wiser. By the time they did notice, I was out of there, running for my dear life.
Aoko was going to kill me for allowing the other two to escape like that.
We three men managed to somehow end up at the same place. I guess we all agreed that that was the safest place to be, considering who was chasing us. After all, what kind young woman would upset the recently-recovered Kudo Shinichi? Certainly not our favorites--Aoko and Kazuha. Sonoko was a different story. We would have probably had to hide under the bed to get away from her, but luckily, we hadn't the need.
Plus Kudo was mad enough that we were all clumped in his room, constantly peeking through the window and the door like we were some sort of deranged version of security. In fact, I think Kudo said something about us watching too much spy movies after the whole Black Organization scenario.
Hakuba manned the door while Hattori had the window. I happily sat myself on the end of Kudo's bed while he narrowed his eyes at me accusingly, as if I was the reason he had to stay in the bed for another two days or so. Of course, he didn't say that. He merely asked, "So how'd you get the three of you out of there?"
I cocked my head to the side before crossing my legs and placing a hand on a knee with my elbow sticking up as I leaned forward. "Don't you know any better than to ask a magician his tricks? Especially a magician like me," I said with a bit of a huff before sitting up straight and crossing my arms, sticking my nose in the air. "How rude. You should know better, Kudo. Do I ask you about your second childhood--?"
"Yes, and often," he answered with annoyance, folding his arms himself after he sat himself up. "I'm only asking because I was hoping you could do me a favor."
Now the other two detectives turned to the conversation.
"Oi, Kudo," Hattori said with an uncomfortable look. "You're not thinking of going somewhere, are you?"
"That wouldn't be the best of ideas," stated Hakuba with a grim expression, "being that the girls probably want our heads for leaving them the way we did. Especially Kuroba."
I cheerfully remarked, interrupting Kudo from answering, "They only take heads in England, Haku-chan. Here, they request that you take a knife to your belly and then decapitate you."
Hattori snorted. "You aren't samurai, so you wouldn't have to worry about that."
"Touché," I responded with a frown.
Kudo said before anyone else could say anything else on the matter of seppuku, "I just can't stand being inside all day when I know that I'm perfectly fine. I mean, would you like it if someone invited you to a chance to catch the world-renown thief during his heist tonight?"
"Hell no," Hattori was quick to respond before giving me an apologetic look. "Not that it's anything against you, Kuroba, but I'm eager to see your alter-ego being bars."
I waved it off. "I'm used to it. Hakuba's kept me up to par with people's expectations."
The blond detective rolled his eyes. "You make that sound so perverted."
"Did I?" I asked innocently before eyeing him suspiciously. "Are you sure you aren't creating fantasies in your head? I know Koizumi put some strange ideas there from that time you were captive to her witching power--"
"NOTHING HAPPENED!"
I smirked at the denial and snickered to myself at how red Hakuba's face could get. Who knew mentioning that one time would get to him so much. Maybe, I thought to myself, there would time to investigate and tease the matter into a summary of just what occurred during that time.
Of course you wouldn't know about this. I'll leave this up to Hakuba to tell.
Kudo shook his head. "But you all see my point, right?" he asked, almost desperately now.
"So you want to have sort of a guy's night out thing?" Hattori asked, thinking carefully.
I beamed, bouncing on the bed. "I like the idea. We can start now." As soon as I said the last word, I quickly bounded over to the closet and pulled out some of Kudo's clothes. Then, before he could protest, had him wearing them in under two seconds.
I got a dirty look from that. "I am never going to ask why the hell you like to do that to people," he stated before climbing out of bed and standing up. "Hattori, make sure no one can see us. Hakuba, you go ahead of us. Kuroba, do your thing."
I saluted. "Aye, aye, mon Capitan!"
It didn't take us very long at all to get out of there. In fact, we managed to get out of there just as the girls began to enter the front door. So the rest of the day was ours and the night...well, that would be one of the most interesting heists I have had in ages. Three detectives, Nakamori-keibu, and the 1412 Taskforce all after one magician thief dressed all in white with a monocle and top hat.
And people wonder why I like what I do. XD
Author's notes: So the first scene is up. Sorry if it's too short for your taste but my Kaito persona likes the short chapters. It's all like a play for some reason. Hence the title of the chapter. -rolls eyes- Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to the reviewers and to explain the title of this fic. Basically, this is an oxymoron I came up with to fit the theme of my DC/MK stories (meaning TIOO, which will be posted later on--brand spanking new). A bottom pair is basically when you make a pair with the lowest card in the flop during poker. The flopped bottom pair. So Aces can't necessarily be a bottom pair, as they are the highest cards. Do you get the idea? If not, think on it a bit and let me know what you think. Ja!
