Unsent letters
by Komillia (komillia@hotmail.com)

A/N: This one might be a little confusing because it will tie in with my other fanfic "Sisters Three" but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. :)


August 26th, 1989

Dear Narcissa,

It's been a long time. Two years to be exact. It's amazing how easy it is to avoid someone if you really want to. Last time I saw you was in Diagon Alley when Nymphadora and I were shopping for school supplies. I caught sight of someone with long blonde hair and there you were. Dressed in your finest blue dress... blue was always your favourite colour. I wanted to walk over to you, to greet and hug you like a sister should. But you caught sight of me, turned around and walked away. I haven't seen you since.

It's it funny how things have turned out? Or perhaps tragic is a better words. I think of all three of us as children and I smile. We had no mother and a father who cared little for children, much less little girls. But we had each other and to us that was enough. I think of all three of us now and I cry. I honestly didn't think that it would turn out like this, not this horrible.

Do you remember the day you started school? Bella and I were so happy for you but you were the happiest one. You would finally be with us, all three Black sisters at Hogwarts. Three sisters so different but inseparable is what people used to tell me. I truly believed it, believed that our differences complimented each other. I didn't think that we would drift apart.

Sometimes I think that perhaps it was my fault to begin with. We all had a role assigned to us. Bella protected both of us as the oldest and took care of us. You, as the youngest, brought joy and laugh to us. And I, as the middle sister, I was supposed to keep us together. But as you have noticed I failed miserably. How could I have held us together when I was the one who started to keep secrets from both of you?

I was scared, I'll admit that. I was scared of what both of you would say if you found out that I was in love with Ted Tonks, a muggleborn or a mudblood as Bella "delicately" put it. I didn't know what else I could do and even if I travelled back in time and found myself in the same situation I still wouldn't have known what to do. But I wouldn't have been able to leave Ted. I couldn't do it back then and I wouldn't do it now if I had the choice.

I know you were hiding behind the door that day when Bella and I had that fight. I know that you sat there and listened to every word that was said. I was too angry back then but I wish that you had come out and said what was on your mind. Because honestly, I still don't know what went on inside your head that day. What Bella thought, I knew. She was angry, beyond angry. She was hurt because her sister had betrayed her for the ones that she hated most, muggleborns. Sometimes I think that perhaps if I hadn't shouted at her, if I hadn't been so angry because she was, then perhaps she wouldn't have embarked on the path of destruction. Perhaps there would have been hope for her.

But I could never guess what you thought of me. I never heard a word from you after a left. All the letters I sent were sent back and you refused to see me when I visited or the few times we coincidentally met. Not a word from my little sister, one of my two best friends. Your silence never kept me from caring about you. I have a scrapbook, full of articles where your name is mentioned. Sometimes I grow bitter, because all those things that are written about you in the newspaper are things that I should have known. Things that a sister should have been told.

But there are things that you should have known too. You should have been there when Ted and I got married, surrounded by his relatives but none of mine. You should have been happy with me when I found out that I was pregnant, you should have been there when I brought my daughter home from the hospital for the first time. You should have known that her first word was "ball" and that she was pointing at one from the baby chair when she said it. You should have been there when Ted and I celebrated our tenth anniversery, when we invited his entire family and all our friends for a dinner party one warm June evening.

There are a lot of "should haves" in this letter. But if there is one thing you should know is that I love my husband and daughter dearly. They are my life, my pride and my joy. I wouldn't trade them for anything else in the world. And despite all that has happened between us, I still love you and Bella both. There is enough room in my heart for all of you. But I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive your sister for harsh words that should have never been said and for loving a man who has been nothing but kind and loving.

Love,
Andromeda