Chapter 2
Need Somethin', Sess?
((Author's Note: Yeah, yeah, I made a new chapter. My friend at school was all like, "omg lyk u hav 2 continu it lolz!" and I was like, "No! It's a one-shot!" and she's like, "u suxorz!11!" And I was like, "Agh! Fine, I'll do it." So, here it is. xD But... I'm telling you... This is the last chapter. x.x NO MORE, DAMNIT! Believe it or not, it's hard to write this. Being so absentmindedly funny doesn't just come to you... Wait... Yes, it does... x.o Well, whatever. Remember to R and R, damnit! xD Enjoy! ))
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Inuyasha's head poked out of the little green house, once again, un-ready for another tiring day at 'Sesshoumaru's Clues'. His ears flattened to his head, as he repeated the same, crappy line;
"Erm. Do you know where my brother is? Sesshoumaru the...Uh..." He had forgotten his line, and it took him a minute to remember it. "Damnit! I know this! Oh, I do." So, Inuyasha continued on. "...Puppy?"
"Over there!" The kiddies giggled, pointing to Sesshoumaru, in his usual on-air costume. His 'ears', like Inuyasha's, flopped over on his head.
"Uh... Ruff," Sesshoumaru blinked.
"Oh. Uh..." Inuyasha struggled to remember his next line. It was pretty sad, with the crappy acting and all. Finally remembering his line, Inuyasha smirked. "My, Sesshoumaru, you seem pretty dirty today. Maybe you should take a bath?"
"What?" Sesshoumaru's gold eyes widened. "Fu-- Hrm... Ruff?"
"Damn right!" Inuyasha walked over to Sesshoumaru and grabbed him by the silver hair. "Let's go, and get it over with."
"Grr..." Sesshoumaru growled, now rarely blushing.
Minutes later, they finally got to the little bathroom in the fake house... Erm... Set.
"And you know what?" Inuyasha sounded cheery, since he knew what was coming next. Sesshoumaru, obviously, did not. "You have one of your 'best friends' to help you wash up!"
Inuyasha motioned to inside the bathroom, where Jaken-- "Bubbly Soappy" (AKA. 'B.S')-- sat, waving his now blue-dyed hand. To him, it was just a small price to pay to get to 'help' on 'Sesshoumaru's Clues'.
Kagome--Pinku--, backstage, was giggling wildly, while Rin--Pailley-- seemed to be both jealous and terribly horrified--No! Mortified is more like it. Kouga... Erm... 'Dresser'... Was laughing his 'wolf-ass' off in Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's 'bedroom', while Shippou--Baby Chili Powder-- fainted.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened even more, with was thought to be not humanly capible. "You're joking," His mouth dropped. "I'm not going in there. With him. Ruff."
"Too bad!" Inuyasha laughed, pushing Sesshoumaru in the bathroom, and slamming the door shut, locking it with a key that Inuyasha hid in his fire-rat Kimono.
Yelling was heard from inside the bathroom for several minutes, until there was a loud 'SPLASH'. After that, more screaming and yelling was heard, Inuyasha showing no sign of un-locking the door.
It was now a half-hour later, when Kagome--Pinku-- and the rest of the producers finally convinced Inuyasha to unlock the door, the door opening slightly, steam hissing out through the crack.
Sesshoumaru grumbled something to Inuyasha, and it was nearly impossible to understand what the hell he was saying.
Inuyasha raised his eyebrows. "What the hell?"
"Uh... Well...Ruff..." Sesshoumaru's face turned from red to a shade of even redder. "There's no towels in the bathroom..."
Inuyasha's grin widened largely, as he 'jokingly' laughed, "You stupid, dumbass bastard!"
"Hrm..." Sesshoumaru snorted, looking down at the... Well... Hopefully the ground. No one was actually sure, but that's what they hoped, of course.
"What's going to happen, now?" Sango--Mrs. Seasoning Salt-- asked with a shrug.
"Someone's going to have to go in there and help Sesshoumaru out," A stage-hand commented, taking a sip of his coffee. "Oh, and you know that this is live, don't you? Oh! And I and the rest of the stage-hands are unable to help you out in this... Er... Pradiciment. I suggest Kagome-- Oh, pardon me, 'Pinku', to go help out Sesshoumaru. She is, actually, his 'best friend', isn't she, now?"
It was now Ri- Pailley's turn to faint. A jealous Kouga growled out;
"Shit, no frickin' way!" He then started to mumble swears, such as, "Bitch... Dumbass bastard... Mother fu--"
"Just go do it!" One of the kids yelled out from the audience. "I'm bored and hungry and this is getting boring! Pinku, just go do it, it's not like this hasn't happened before, am I right!"
"Yeah!" A few other kids agreed, as Ka--Pinku gulped hard.
"I can't watch," San--Mrs. Seasoning Salt sheilded her eyes with her hand, as Miroku-- No, Mr. Seasoning Pepper-- clutched for his stomach.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
As soon as Shippou regained concious, he soon later fainted once more.
"Ohh..." K--Pinku blushed horribly. "...This is going to scar me for life..." She walked over to the bathroom, looking down so she --hopefully-- wouldn't see anything that she would forever regret, until she got into the bathroom. Seconds later, Kag--Pinku's piercing scream was heard, along with the slamming of the bathroom-closet door, and her running out of the 'steaming' bathroom. "OH MY GAWD!" She screamed, running backstage, possibly not to be seen for the rest of the cast's day.
Now, minutes later, Sesshoumaru came out in his outfit, blushing once again. Jak-- B.S. came out after that, his skin color not green, not blue, but strangely red, which made Ri--Pailley faint once more. And also, like how Mir--Mr. Seasoning Pepper pradicted, he ended up being sick for several minutes, until he returned light-headed on stage.
"How was your bath?" Inuyasha gave a harsh smile as he patted Sesshoumaru hard on the back.
"Let's. Never. Speak. Of. This. A. Gain. Ruff."
"Uh, you know that 'again' is one word, not two. It's 'again'. Not 'a gain'," Inuyasha informed Sesshoumaru. Everyone nodded in agreement, even little Kirara... Er... 'Shovlley'.
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. Everyone had completely forgot about the 'Clues' that they were supposed to be doing, until Sesshoumaru gasped, put his hand up to the video camera (once again, making it melt a little), axnd the kids excitiedly squealed.
"Okay, so, what do we need to get started?" Inuyasha asked the kids in the crowd.
"Dresser!" The kids shouted.
"Finally, you give me the right answer... Shit..." Inuyasha walked towards the Dresser, which was Kouga. This was going to be hard and tough; Kagome... No... Pinku... Wasn't there to rip them apart if they fought. Inuysha grinned, then cracked his knuckles. "Yo, bitch, give me the notepad."
"Shut the frick up, shit face," Kouga-Dresser- snorted. "Kiss my furry ass. Oh! I hope you know this time that I'm being sarcastic."
An extremely-small Kouga fangirl was cammoflaged in with the four to six year old crowd, laughed, yelled 'Sure!', then started to put on red lipstick. Ri-- Pailley regained conciousness, then fainted again. Security was then called. The show was then motioned to continue, by Steve from the hit ((No, pardon me... Not 'hit'. I meant 'shit'. Either or!)) show, 'Jerry Springer'.
"Holy shit, man, that was scary..." Kouga's eyes were wide open. "...Frick, man..."
"I think I feel sorry for you," Inuyasha's eyes were also widened.
"Fuggin' shit-crap..."
"Bitchin' bastard..."
"Mother fu--"
"Stop swearing!" Shipp- Baby Chili Powder screamed. His voice was shaky, since he, too, like R-Pailley, had fainted several times.
"Screw you!" Both Inuyasha and Dresser yelled. ((Hey, I remembered to call Kouga 'Dresser'! Wow!))
"I am the ghost of Christmas Eveee!" Kikyou yelled, barging on scene.
"Uh, I think you're at the wrong show..." Mir-- Mr. Seasoning Pepper explained to Kikyou. "...'Passions' is next door."
"Shit! Damnit! Bitch! Agh, hell. Where am I now?" Kikyou blinked. The devlish-halo on her head fell off. "I already accidentaly walked in on 'Playboy Mansion'... AndwWhoa, that was a big mistake..."
"'Sesshoumaru's Clues'," All the kiddies said.
"Hell, man, I feel sorry for youse..." Kikyou put her hand to her head. "Well, hasta la vista... Baby!" She then made her exit. But, as she did, she fell flat on her face. "Frickin...!" Then, she ran and disappeared.
"Quoted by Rick James..." Sa-- Mrs. Seasoning Salt put her hand to her chin. "...That was 'Super Freekie'!"
"Amen to that..." Everyone agreed.
"ANYWAYS..." Inuyasha cleared his throat.
"Take this!" Kouga--Dresser-- took the notepad and threw it at Inuyasha's face.
"Screw you, Wolf Shit!" Inuyasha growled, taking hold on the notepad.
"Bitch! ...Er... Like, 'female dog'!"
"You hit below the belt!"
"You'd like that."
"Grr... Feh!" Inuyasha gave up, then walked towards the kitchen. "Where's the clue?"
"Look for it!" The kids seemed to order.
"Shut the hell up," Inuyasha grumbled. "So, where did Sesshoumaru the 'puppy' go?"
"Over there...!" The kids, once again, pointed both left and right. Another pointed backwards, towards the bathroom.
"Holy shit, man, are you kids on crack or something?" Inuyasha was completely dumbfounded. "Gawd... You think they're a little slow... But GEEZ..."
A toilet flushed, and the one kid who pointed to the bathroom was right. Sesshoumaru came out of the cast-backstage-bathroom, then came onto the sceen.
Everyone stared at him, some mouths open.
"What...?" Sesshoumaru was confused. "Dogs have to piss too, you know... Ruff."
"Riiight..." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Agh! Go place a clue, you ass!"
"Right..." Sesshoumaru hurried off set, outside once again.
"I'll pretend I didn't see him run off. So, where's Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha asked the kiddies again.
"In the... bathroom?" They seemed to be confused. Inuyasha didn't agree; He thought they were demented.
"Outside!" Ship-- Chili Powder yelled. "Geez, even I know that, and I'm not the smartest one here..."
Rin... No... 'Pailley' regained conciousness, once again, then scurried outside with Kirara... No... 'Shovelly' to do a task with Inuyasha... Though Inuyasha didn't know about it.
"Yeah, outside!" The kids nodded.
"No shit..." Inuyasha rubbed his temples. "Damn, man, I hope Sesshoumaru wants some 'Ti-lo-nal' or whatever you call it, because I need some."
"Lalalala! Inuyasha-sama, come help Shovlley-chan and I!" Ri-- Pailley yelled to Inuyasha, right when he walked outside.
"No," Inuyasha simply said.
"You have to. It's mandatory. I've got the photocopied, laminated form you signed in my pocket," Pailley said, also simply. Inuyasha's ears flattened, and his expression faded. He walked over and sat down at the sandbox with them, because he knew that Ri-- Pailley was no softie; She's small, but she could sure play hardball.
"Mew!" Kirar-- Shovlley mewed, wagging her twin tai-- shovels.
"Mew, mew yourself," Inuyasha snorted. Shovlley then gave him a uber-kawaii, irresistable look, so he gave in and patted her on the hea-- shovel.
"So, do you know your patterns, Inuyasha-sama?" Pailley asked, blinking her eyes innocently.
"No shit. Do you?"
"No, not really..." Ri-- Pailley fakely admitted. It was in her lines, after all.
"You don't! Wow, I really do think some of the people on this show are on crack..." He glared at the kid-audience.
"Could you help me and Shovlley-chan find a tetragonal trisohedron?" Ri- Pailley asked, laying out several shapes in front of him.
A blue triange, a green... Inuyasha wasn't sure what the hell it was, it looked like something definetly messed up, though... A yellow square and a brown, strange looking-kinda-like-a-rectangle button.
"What the frick? Er... Well, I know it's not the button..." Inuyasha put his hand to his chin, then pointed to the green thing.
"No, silly, that's a octagonal-square-triangle!" Pailley giggled, as did the children in the audience. Inuyasha was dumbfounded, once again. "Be serious!"
"I am!" He growled with frustration. "'Tri' sounds like 'triangle'. How about the blue triangle?" Inuyasha asked, ears twitching.
Everyone's expression was blank.
"No..." Ri-- Pailley said slowly. "...It's not..."
"I thought you didn't know your shapes," Inuyasha narrowed his gold eyes at R- Pailley.
"Oh! Right," Pailley blushed.
"Mew, mew... Prr, mew!" Kirar-- Shovlley mewed, then padded over to the button, picked it up with her mouth, then put it on R-- Pailley's lap.
"You're correct, Err... Shovlley. Ruff!" Sesshoumaru jumped out of no where, then came up behind Inuyasha. "And you, dimwitted little brother, are wrong, ruff!" Sesshoumaru then took out a wooden pale of... Sake? He then tipped it over and SPLASH! All over Inuyasha.
"HEY!" Inuyasha growled, stinking wet of the rice wine (Which smelt to be a few decades old... Ew...), as Sesshoumaru suddenly disappeared, probably to hide his second clue.
"Inuyasha-sama," Rin... Er... Pailley started, pulling at Inuyasha's stinking wet fire-rat kimono. "Since you ... Attempted... to help us find the tetragonal trisohedron, I'll give you Sesshoumaru-sama's first clue!" She handed Inuyasha a folded piece of paper that said 'Il'. Confused, Inuyasha blinked, then stood up.
"What the frick is a 'il'?" Inuyasha stared hard at the paper, hoping something would happen.
"He looks constipated..." Shipp-- Baby Chili Powder whispered to a giggling San-- Mrs. Seasoning Salt.
"'Il' is French for 'boy', like in a sentace of 'etre' or something... Maybe that means something?" Mi-- Mr. Seasoning Pepper said, matter-of-factly to Inuyasha.
"How do you know, 'Frenchie'?" Inuyasha raised an eyebrow, as he looked from the paper to Mirok-- Mr. Seasoning Pepper.
"I'm bi-lingual!" Mr. Seasoning Pepper seemed proud of himself. He chuckled, then added, "Ma-na-ja tw-aa!" ((Quick Fact: I don't know how to spell it, so he's sounding it out. Heehee! ))
"Really?" Mrs. Seasoning Salt seemed interested. She had no idea what Miro-- Mr. Seasoning Pepper-- was talking about. Good thing; If she did, he'd definetly get a slap. ((Another Quick Fact: What Miroku--Er, Mr. Seasoning Pepper-- Sounded out, meant 'Three sum' in French. It can also mean 'Times three', but he didn't mean it that way. Heh. ))
"Yep," Mr. Seasoning Pepper laughed. "You pick up more chicks that way!"
SLAP!
"What a loser. And to think, I'm his son," Shipp-- Baby Chili Powder shook his head. He was ashamed to be such a pervert's son on such a retarted children's show. How sad!
"You think you've got it rough?" San-- Mrs. Seasoning Salt clapped her hands together several times, like dusting them off. "I'm his wife!"
"Eeheeh..." Miroku... I mean... Mr. Seasoning Pepper laughed sheepishly, as he rubbed his baboon-bottom-red face.
"Ooh, Sesshie wants some guys?" A little, horribly drawn person in a drawing from outside of the Sesshoumaru-Inuyasha-house patio, which wasn't too far away. There, Inuyasha also found Sesshoumaru. "That's icki." The voice was eerily familiar.
"Shut the hell up, Kagura... Or, should I say, 'Bucktooth'?" Sesshoumaru growled lowly at the picture, until he muttered something, then jumped into the picture! Inuyasha's mouth hung open.
"Wait... Am I the one here on crack!"
"It's easy," Kagura, nick-named 'Bucktooth', called from the picture. "That is, unless, you're scared. Or, if you are actually on crack. There's a lot of... colors... here, and that might make you... delusional."
"Shut up, Bucktooth," Inuyasha snorted, walking over to the picture. "Or I'll stick some 'il' in yer' face."
"Ooh, I'm scared," Kagur-- Bucktooth rolled her poorly drawn eyes.
Kagura, called 'Bucktooth', looked like an actual, three-year-old drawing of Kagura, with the little feather and outfit and all. The only difference, was that she had poorly drawn buckteeth. Hence the name, 'Bucktooth'.
"Now, how the hell do I get in there?" Inuyasha squnited his eyes at the piece of paper, which was in a frame... Also poorly done. Seeming like magic, Sesshoumaru appeared by Kagu-- Bucktooth.
"Ruff..." Sesshoumaru mumbled, then surrying off.
"Shit, frick!" Inuyasha cussed. "How in the..." Inuyasha wasn't sure how many hells there were. So, he made a mental-list inside to ask Kikyou the next time he saw her. "... Many hells do I get in that st-oo-pid picture?" He glared at Bucktooth, hard. "You'd better tell me."
"You should listen!" Shippou... Er... Baby Chili Powder yelled from the kitchen. Surprisingly, Inuyasha and Kagura-- Bucktooth--, and not to mention, Sesshoumaru, all heard him perfectly. Inuyasha looked around for a michrophone or a speaker that could make Shippou yell from that far, for them all to hear him perfectly. "He's very persuasive!"
"What'll you do...?" Kag-- Bucktooth gave him a look, which looked like to Inuyasha, a blotch on the paper. "Rip the paper?"
"Good idea," Inuyasha nodded. "I was thinking of burning it, but ripping is both faster and easier."
"Hmm. Ask Sesshoumaru," Kagu-- Bucktooth shrugged. "I don't know how; I'm just a drawing."
"Sesshoumaru, tell me, or you're DEAD."
"Ruff."
"I'm leaving and looking for the second clue!" Inuyasha growled, about to stomp off. But what Kagura-- I mean -- Bucktooth said next made him stop in his tracks.
"Oh, is this the clue you're talking about?" Kagura held up a piece of paper, which didn't really look like anything. It practically looked like Kagur-- Bucktooth was holding nothing on the white backround.
"Aw, shit. Just tell me how to get in there," Inuyasha put his hand to his head.
"Sesshie ska-doo, you can too!" Kagur-- Bucktooth sung from a partly-copywrited tune.
"Oh..." Inuyasha got it. He was supposed to sing that. "...Screw you."
"Do it!" The kiddies in the crowd cried. "We're boooored!"
"GRRR..." Inuyasha mumbled to 'himself', though everyone else heard. "Sesshie ska-doo..." Inuyasha started in a lame voice. "...Er... You can... Too...?"
Finally, he was thrown into the picture. It was pure white, and very bright. It was then that a stage-hand walked up to the picture.
"What a dumb picture. Look, Jeff, look at this! This is screwed. Let's throw it out," One stage hand said... To... no-one? He's talking to himself!
"Ew, my two year old son can do better than that shit," The 'other half' had to 'look away'. "It's hideous. Everyone in there, like the one with the fake-ears and long, long silver hair looks like a fat chick, the one with the feather looks like a druggie, and the one in the red looks plain constipated."
"Yes ma'am, 'Simon Cowell'," The guy rolled his eyes sarcastically to himself, once again, laughing a little as he reached for the picture. Both Bucktooth and Inuyasha screamed, as the picture was hurled into a garbage bin.
"Simon Cowell is my brother," The man said to himself. Inuyasha was starting to get scared.
"Is he really?" The 'other side' asked. "I thought he was your sister. Or, do you mean like, 'He's meh bro, ya'll!'?"
"Oh, pardon me," The man was really getting into his conversation with... Himself. It was really sad. Almost depressing. "I did mean my sister."
"Did you? Then who's Randy Jackson?" Himself asked himself.
"He's my sister's husband," Himself replied to himself.
((No offence to the American Idol judges. I just like to poke fun.))
"Want to take this outside?" The man made fists to... Himself.
"He needs some Anti-Depressent," Sesshoumaru shook his head, appearing out of the white no-where, adding a ruff at the end of his comment. Inuyasha and Kagu-- Bucktooth nodded absentmindedly.
"We are outside, but whatever!" The man started to walk away, beating up himself.
"Odd... Anyway... SESSHOUMARU! Where is the clue!" Inuyasha growled at his 'puppy' brother.
"You're not supposed to ask me that," Sesshoumaru said simply.
"You're not supposed to talk! But who the hell cares!"
"Hrm," Sesshoumaru hrm'ed, then mumbled something in Youkai, until he appeared out of the picutre, and soon out of the garbage can. Before Sesshoumaru went to go plant his third and final clue, he decided to kick over the garbage can that Bucktooth and Inuyasha were in.
"Stupid bastard!" Inuyasha. He turned to Ka-- Bucktooth. "Kagura! Where's the Gawd damn clue!"
"I'm not supposed to tell you. And my name is not 'Kagura' here. It's 'Bucktooth'. Though, I do wish it was Kagura here..." Kag-- Bucktooth put her hand to her chin.
Inuyasha grinned. "Don't make me tell Naraku."
"What's he going to do?"
"He's gonna... GET-CHA!"
"Er... Daddy didn't love me!" Bucktooth burst out in tears. "Don't tell daddy!"
Inuyasha put his hand over his mouth and tried to hold back sniggers. "'Daddy'?"
"Daddy is Naraku!"
"Oh-hoo-ho!" Inuyasha made a scary grin-like face. "When I get out of here... Time for black-mail!"
"Oh, shit, no you don't!" Kag-- Bucktooth gasped. "Don't you DARE."
"What are you going to do to stop me?" Inuyasha asked, raising a brow.
"I'll tell you where the clue is!"
"Hot shit! Fine! Damn! Tell me, Gawd damnit!" Inuyasha was willing to give up his plan for black mail for the clue. Thank Gawd! ...He'd to black-mail anyways, but he wouldn't mention that do Kagura... Or, 'Bucktooth'.
"Go down more down the white-intimidating path, then you'll see some Hippie Reject needed help painting a freakin' white wall. Tell him to screw off, then you'll get yer clue. Happy now?" Bucktooth said that all with her eyes closed. When she opened them, Inuyasha was gone. She turned her head, and she could see him running down the white-intimidating hall, or whatever you want to call it.
It was a few minutes before Inuyasha saw the colors of the rejected Hippie wannabe.
"Oh GAWD, this is so INTIMIDATING!" Inuyasha panted, as he finally got to the Hippie. "Yo."
The Hippie turned to Inuyasha.
Inuyasha gasped.
It was a really familiar person... Dull grey eyes, chesnut brown hair, freckles...
...None other than Kohaku!
"Kohaku!" Inuyasha gasped.
"My name is not 'Kohaku' here," Kohaku said, surprisingly his voice was not dull. Meaning that he probably wasn't under Naraku's control. "It's 'Fo'Snizzle'."
"What the... Anyways, give me the clue, for Gawd's sake," Inuyasha decided to try threatening. It might work. "... Or your head will be mine! MUAHAHA!"
Koha-- Fo'snizzle looked at Inuyasha, almost derangedly. "...Riiight. Well, you have to help me first."
"Screw off," Inuyasha shook his head, like Kagu-- Bucktooth told him to.
"What?" Fo'Snizzle gasped. "Don't talk to me like that!"
"Why not?"
"Because..." Kohaku... Or... Fo'Snizzle... Gave Inuyasha a smirk. "I'm wearing intimidating colors!"
It was true... Well... Sort of. He was wearing his usual outfit, but it looked like it was tye-dyed bright colors, like yellow, green, pink and orange... Things like that. It wasn't actually intimidating. Neither was the walls. It was just the funny fact that if you told Inuyasha that it was intimidating, he probably would believe it.
"OH MY GAWD!" Inuyasha covered his eyes with the red sleeve of his fire-rat kimono. "EVERYTHING IS INTIMIDATING! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN?"
"It's called, the 'future'," Koha-- Fo'Snizzle whispered in Inuyasha's ear. Then, he started to snicker when Inuyasha gave a piercing scream that was probably heard on the set of Passions, a few doors away...
--Passions--
"Gosh darnit, Batman, what was that?" Naraku bursted on the Passions set in a 'Batman and Robin' outfit.
Everyone slapped their hands to their heads. Almost in unison!
"WRONG. SET!" Everyone yelled, hopefully for the last time. Naraku was obviously drunk, as he had bursted into the set about ten times. "Where's the Gawd damn Kikyou? We can't start without her!"
"Gosh darnit, Batman, what are we going to do? It looks like the eeeennddd!"
"'Beginning of the End' is next door," Said the old witch 'Tabitha', one of the characters from the show. Then, the rest of the cast got into character...
"It's MY BABY!" Fox yelled to... Er... Whoever that chick was. Or, 'is' would be more appropriate. "WHY THE FRICKIN HELL DID YOU PUT HIM IN ADOPTION! MY BAAAABY!"
"No it's not! It's my brother's!" 'Whatshername' finally admitted. Fox gasped, as did everyone else.
"NO! IT'S MINEEE!" Naraku screamed. That was until someone threw a brick-block at his head...
--Back At Sesshoumaru's Clues--
"Geez, that was awkward," Fo'Snizzle shook his head. "Anyway, help me paint the color red out of these colors, and I'll give you the clue."
"Okay!" Inuyasha ran to the color yellow, then started obnoxiously painting on the white wall. "Blue!"
"That's YELLOW. Where the hell did you get 'blue' from! Are you color blind!" Koha-- Fo'Snizzle slapped his hand to his head. "You're wearing red on your SHIT -- I mean, 'SHIRT' -- for Gawd's sake! LOOK AT YOUR FREAKING SHIRT! ARE YOU FREAKIN ST-OO-PID?" Fo'Snizzle threw his hands up in the air, revealing the clue in his hand.
"Yoink!" Inuyasha grabbed the clue, then took off down the 'intimidating' hall... Or whatever. "Sesshie ska-doo, you can too!" Inuyasha jumped right out of the picture, but then tripped on the garbage can when he got out of the picture.
"PBS will get you!" Kagu-- Bucktooth yelled.
That was when Fo'Snizzle walked up to join her to watch Inuyasha fumble away to find the last clue. he looked almost drunk.
"We aren't being aired on PBS," Ko-- Fo'Snizzle said, shaking his head at Bucktooth.
"We aren't! What the hell are we on then?"
"Nickalodian... Or whatever..."
"Uh oh, I'm allergic to Cat-Dog, though... And the Rugrats give me diaper rash...
"Where did Sesshoumaru go?" Inuyasha asked to the crowd of kiddies, almost excited to be soon getting the hell out of there.
"Wait! What's the second clue?" The kiddies asked.
"Oh, that..." Inuyasha looked at the piece of paper in his pocket. "...'Ph'. What the... WHAT THE HELL IS 'ph'? Is it one of Sesshoumaru's make-up brands! WHAT THE 'PH'UCK IS 'ph'!"
"Omigosh, like, you saids a bad word!" A little kid yelled out from the audience.
"Yeah, well 'ph'uck you!"
That was until Steve from 'Jerry Springer' returned to the set, cracking his knuckles.
"'Ph'rick!" Inuyasha darted away, follwing the scent of Sesshoumaru. "SESS-HOU-MARUU!"
The search led Inuyasha outside, where he then found Sesshoumaru, sitting down next to a tree.
"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru grinned. "Look up."
"Hrm?" Inuyasha looked up. There, stuck on one of the branches, was the third clue. The branch, though, was surrounded by power lines... Possibly phone lines...
"Like, OMIGOSH. Did you see that bishie, Sesshie-poo? He's outside my window! Anywho, like, do you think he thinks I'm hawt? Teheheheheheheee, like totally! Ohmigosh I can so see that! Tehehehehehheee... And like, I think that Ryouga guy totally has the hawts for me, though he's totally up the wrong tree... If he knows the directions to get up the tree... TEEHEHEHEHEHEHEE." It was the phone line of... Oh! The Tendo line. Who was talking so annoyingly on the phone, though? None other than female Ranma, talking to... Nabiki? What the hell kind of world do we live in?
((I just had to add some really corny and random Ranma 1/2 in here!))
"You must climb up the Ranma-phone-line-tree to get your last clue. It's very dangerous, indeed! Ruff!" Sesshoumaru gave an evil grin, then got up, starting to walk away.
"...Feh. That's not so dangerous!" Inuyasha jumped up on one of the high branches on the tree. The tree wasn't very stable... It might even break if Inuyasha makes the wrong move! But, Inuyasha didn't care. He'd do anything to get the damn clue! When he finally got to the clue, the tree did break, but he got off it in time...
The tree hit the powerline, then it exploded in flames.
"Oops. Oh well. That's for the janitor to discover..." Inuyasha darted back into the house, one again jumping on the 'Thinking Mat', thinking that the mat was a piece of furniture, or that it was at least stuck to the ground. But, since Inuyasha jumped on it with such a slide, he slid right into a wall, spilling a coffee-table that had a huge jug full of Sake on it. It spilled on his head, and the bowl was suck on his head. "...I'm BLIND!" Inuyasha jumped to his feet, then ran into another wall, breaking the stinky jug off his head. Then, emnbarrassed, he walked back to the mat, sat down, then yelled, "SESSHOUMARU! GET YOUR FEMININE ASS OVER HERE!"
Just to piss Inuyasha off, Sesshoumaru yelled femininly, "I'm cooommmiiinnggg!" In a high voice.When Sesshoumaru got there, Inuyasha opened the final clue.
"'Dr'... 'Dr'..." Inuyasha repeated. "'Dr'? 'Dr 91210'?" Inuyasha was aware that that used to be on of Sesshoumaru's favorite shows, before Sesshoumaru got mad at all the new and lame twists, that he killed them all in what thought to be a boating accident at shore...
((That never happened, just so you know. Just poking more fun!))
"No!" Sesshoumaru blushed.
Inuyasha took out all the clues, then laid them out before him. "Oh, yeah, Sesshoumaru, what the 'ph'uck is a 'ph'!"
"What are the clues?" Grissom, dressed up as a little kid, asked Inuyasha.
"CSI is next door, too," Sesshoumaru looked at Grissom with a glare.
"Oh, I know," Grissom nodded. "But this show is just so addictive. And, I'm here for my mother, Jaken."
"B.S.!" A few kids in the audience screamed. Poor Grissom was beat up, seconds later, by a huge kiddie crowd of B.S. (Bubbly Soapy -- Jaken) haters.
"Right..." Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru looked at each other.
((Grissom is from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Once again, I'm picking fun at them, too.))
"'Ph', 'Il', and 'Dr'..."
"Grey's Anatomy!" San-- Mrs. Seasoning Salt suggested. "'Dr'!"
Mir-- Mr. Seasoning Pepper gave her a hard look. "Remember; I'm your husband on this show. Now, tell me, who is this 'Grey'?"
"'Grey' is a woman..." Mrs. Seasoning Salt gave Mr. Seasoning Pepper a strange look.
"Sango!" Mir- Mr. Seasoning Pepper was udderly distrought. "What have you been up to?"
"Hrm..." Inuyasha still couldn't figure out the damn answer. Therefor, he wasn't allowed to leave.
Kira-- Shovlley shook her little kitty head, then walked over to the three clues. Then, she put them in order... Or, what she thought was order.
"Dr... Phil..." Inuyasha mumbled. "Oh! Dr. Phil! Sesshoumaru... Is that your boyfriend?" Inuyasha cackled at his older brother.
"You sick, wrong bastard!" Sesshoumaru was disgusted. "He's my shrink! I could never get by without him. He helped me from not killing Jaken... Again... Or horribly injuring Rin! I think I'll need him again after this show..."
"I call Oprah!" Kouga appeared out of no-where. He, and everyone else in the show, was now officially allowed to be called by their real names, since the answer was finally 'founded' out.
"Noo!" Cried Shippou, from Miroku's shoulder.
"Jerry Springer!" Miroku called out. "Sango is coming with me!"
"Damn..." Sango muttered.
"Hmm, well, I guess this is the end," Inuyasha announced to the kiddie crew who was supposidly watching... All of them were gone, though, and had been gone since the answer was found out.
"GOOD FRICKING FRICK, BATMAN! WHAT WILL WE DO NOW? ANSWER MEEE!" Naraku screamed drunkly, as he stumbled on the stage.
"Batman wants you to SHUT THE FRICK UP!" Kagura came with a folded chair behind Naraku, and whacked him in the head with it. He immidiatly was knocked unconcious.
"Well," Inuyasha raised a brow. "Maybe that's why daddy doesn't love you, because you knock daddy unconcious with chairs."
