"Anti-Wizard Inc.? In downtown Surrey? What could make them so... social?" asked Petunia anxiously. The world she had thought died with Vernon was flooding back with the speed and fury of a banshee on a broomstick. Most guardians of Hogwarts students were afraid of Voldemort, but Petunia worried more about her husband's family.

"They must have realized where the attacks were coming from. Urgent lot, them: always think the sky is falling and it's a witch's fault. Never mind that, now; I want to know if the leader of that—band is related to your late husband!" the old woman pressed. Could Petunia be more connected than she had thought? Could Vernon?

"Er, second cousin, actually. But their "demon hunting", as they see it, is what you might call a family business. Vernon was quite courageous to stay by me when he heard about Lily. If they ever found out about his former sister-in-law, it would be almost like members of opposing gangs marrying, like…"

"Like a pure-blood marrying a muggle." Arabella finished. "I see it works both ways. And I had thought the blind prejudice against wizards had been your idea—how could I have missed it?"

Petunia wrung her hands nervously. There was no turning back now. "Well, I did put on quite the act for Harry—if he'd found out Vernon and Marge had burned effigies of wizards in the cradle, well, you know what a hero he is."

Arabella looked down. "Oh, I know. If he's as much of a hero as Dumbledore says he is, those awful anti-wizards will have no reason to broach the depths of their cave dwellings for another hundred years. We'll protect them, all right. To think your nephew is going to kill for those ungrateful wretches!" She thought a moment. "Actually, that witch-burning was a load of toad kidneys. They only pretended to die."

"The cave dwellings are actually quite nice—chandeliers and everything-- with the exception of Marge's, but then again, she was in charge of training the magic-sniffing dogs. The way that dog Ripper went for Harry all the time, I was sure she'd suspect something."

"You mean to say there are more like that Dorian Dursley?"

"Oh, he's just an inquisitor-in-training. They tend to spread out in emergencies."

"Lovely."

"Who tend to spread out in emergencies?" asked Harry, who had just walked in covered in dirt. Remus Lupin and Kinglsey Shacklebolt had been training the young wizard three times a week: highly advanced Defence spells, wandless magic, some nasty and probably illegal charms and hexes, ancient runes (traditionally effective in banishing the undead in wizard folklore) and muggle-style hand-to-hand combat.

The last had been Petunia's idea—she was glad to be part of Harry's life in even the smallest way. The boy had been sparring with Dudley regularly, but after a stern talk from Petunia, each had restricted his moves to non-lethal, though Harry complained that this situation was not accurate training. It was just odd fighting Dudley without trying to hurt him. Harry wondered if he would ever get used to being on friendly terms with his family.

"The Mounties," Arabella invented quickly.

Harry looked at the two of them suspiciously. Neither had been particularly kind to him in his earlier years, and his instinct was not to trust either. This was nonsense, though—Mrs. Figg was a squib and his aunt had undergone a sudden and unexplainable change of heart. Why would either of them lie to him?

How very wrong he was.

A/N Brownie points if you know who Anti-Wizard Inc. is/ was-- if you regularly check the news on mugglenet or snitchseeker (which copies its news from mugglenet), you might remember these people from last year.