Konnichiwa, Sakuma here. This fanfic makes absolutely no sense. Enjoy:

Yuki was surfing the net one day, bored out of his mind. Kyo suddenly came out of nowhere and pounced on Yuki.

"Hiya damn rat," Kyo said happily.

"Get off my you biyatch," Yuki complained.

"Do I look like a girl to you," Kyo asked.

"Go away."

"Never, for I am Catwoman," Kyo shouted.

"I thought you said you weren't a girl," Yuki said.

"I'm not, I'm Catwoman," said Kyo.

"But you're a guy," said Yuki.

"I am!" Kyo said, shocked.

"SHIGURE, KYO IS GENDER-CONFUSED," Yuki shouted at the dog.

Yuki went searching for Shigure while Kyo jumped all over the living room, pretending to be Catwoman. Yuki reached Shigure's office, and slammed the door open.

"Shigure," Yuki yelled.

Shigure jumped about 20 feet in the air, causing him to lose his place in the book he was reading.

"You made me lose my page, you whore," Shigure complained.

"Since when am I a whore?" Yuki asked.

"Omigod, you're a whore! LISTEN EVERYONE, YUKI'S A WHORE," Shigure yelled.

"I AM NOT," Yuki yelled back.

Yuki stormed out of Shigure's office, mad at both Shigure and 'Catwoman', who was nowhere to be seen. Yuki did, however, see Tohru.

"Sohma-kun, I heard shouting," Tohru said.

"It was just stupid Shigure," said Yuki.

"There's something else, will you come here please," Tohru said.

She led Yuki outside and pointed to the roof. On the roof was Kyo, dressed like Catwoman.

"Kyo, get your neko ass down here," Yuki commanded.

"No way, you whore," Kyo retorted.

"Sohma-kun, you're a whore," Tohru questioned.

"Goddammit, I'm not a fucking whore," Yuki yelled.

"Kyo-kun, please get down, before you get hurt."

"Or before anyone sees you," Yuki added.

Before they could say anything else, 'Catwoman' began pelting onigiri at Tohru and Yuki.

"Take that you evil whore,' Kyo yelled, now only throwing onigiri at Yuki.

"Goddammit, I'm calling Hatori," Yuki said, storming off.

Hatori's Office: Main House

Hatori saw the entire incident from hidden cameras. He grinned evilly.

" Laugh while you can, because soon, you will be mine."