Chapter 10: Everything Your Heart Desires
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He's
everything you want
He's everything
you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish
you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right
time
But he means nothing to you
And you
don't know why
Fuck, what the fuck
Fuck that's disgusting
Fuck that's wrong
Fuck Fuck FUCK
Draco ran.
The wind lashed at his tender skin and the cold bit unmercifully into his flesh. It tore ruthlessly at his body as if punishing him for his actions.
He ran like his life depended on it. And he kept running; miles and miles until he was far, far away. He collapsed lifelessly upon his doorsteps, struggling to keep conscious and breathe.
Breathe.
His head was spinning uncontrollably and his heart pounded so hard against his chest he was sure it would burst through any second. Sweat enveloped every inch of his body, drenching him from inside out. He panted breathlessly, coughing, gasping, and choking for air. Soothing chills of wind swept across his body like an invisible force dragging a silk cloth over his bare skin. The feeling calmed him. But only for a brief second; a very brief second.
As he gradually regained his steady breathing, Draco moved into an upright position, slumping against a post that flanked his doorway.
His stared blindly into the darkness of the night with disturbing fabrications of his mind flashing across relentlessly.
It was wrong.
So horribly wrong.
The King was at least 30 years older than the Contessa if not more. The mere thought made him want to reach his fingers into his eyes, gouge through them and tear at his brain until the memory was gone.
Gone.
Wiped spotlessly clean from his mind.
The time passed unnoticed by the weary boy as his drifting thoughts wandered upon Thaleia. The lustful, desirable, beautiful young woman.
Why?
Why had he turned her down? What in Merlin's name was wrong with him; turning down a perfectly attractive girl? No one would ever believe that he turned down a girl. A bloody beautiful one at that. That just wasn't him. This place was definitely getting to him…and not in a good way. He couldn't understand…not one bit. His hatred of the place grew little by little as it changed him ever so gradually he barely noticed.
His breathing eased just in time to hear faint galloping horses nearing in the distance.
Without a glance back, he slipped through the doors and back into his bed where the Sandman awaited patiently for his return.
.:.
"No! No! No! That's the 5th time you've gotten it wrong! Are you trying to be bad at this?!"
No, no, it comes naturally…no…wait... IT DOES NOT!
She clenched her tiny fists in frustration at her stupidity.
"I'm sorry sir. My mind's simply not functioning properly this morning." Hermione mumbled feeling terribly ashamed. "I'm…I'm not feeling too well."
The etiquette instructor stared down upon the princess with his dark obsidian orbs that reminded her unnervingly of a certain potion's master back at Hogwarts.
He shook his head and picked the text book up from the ground, before pushing back his gold rimmed spectacles primly with his index finger.
"Forget it" he sighed. "Today's lesson is over. I'll see you tomorrow. I bid you a good day Princess."
Hermione lowered her head in shame and exited the ball room, hunched over and dragging her feet. Behind her she could hear the etiquette pedagogue clicking his tongue disapprovingly at her posture. Her cluttered mind screamed, feeling sickened. Holding her head, she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom chamber and crawled lethargically beneath her down covers.
Turning over, she buried her head into her pillow and screamed.
Her head pounded violently and her ears rang with non-existent bells.
It'd been wrong. She knew it'd been wrong. It'd been wrong... Right? She was a good girl. The untarnished, unmarred, role model of virginity. Pure, clean, chaste…Innocent.
Wasn't she?
Lies.
All lies.
No matter how hard she tried to convince herself, she knew that wasn't the reason. But if that wasn't the reason; then what was? What was holding her back?
Nothing! Nothing was holding her back! Why couldn't she just give in….she yearned to. She wanted….she wanted so badly to give into her desires. But something…her heart, her mind, something; something kept calling to her. Over and over again. "STOP STOP!" it would cry continuously. But why? Why stop? Nothing was making any conceivable sense. She suddenly acquired a burning desire to bang her head against the gray stone walls; over and over again until life made sense again.
Her fingers danced upon their volition over to the pallid lily which lay atop her wooden bed stand.
Inhaling deeply, she found the flower to have a gentle, almost imperceptible scent. The petals were soft and velvety; vaguely reminding her of the periwinkle dress robes she'd worn back in her 4th year during the Yule Ball.
Rolling over onto her stomach, she buried her head back into her pillow and breathed deeply. She shivered. His scent had lingered from the previous night. Her body prickled at the recollection of his tender, sensual touches. For a brief moment, her cluttered mind wandered back to his mysterious mixture of sky, ocean, and midnight blues. They very same that'd captured every part of her, weakening her ever fighting will.
"Princess?"
A soft rapping rang out from the other side of her door.
"Princess? Are you there?"
Hermione glimpsed up from her pillow and replied grudgingly. "Yes…come in."
She watched groggily as Hestia creaked the door open and slunk in.
"Are you feeling okay, Princess?" she asked softly as she knelt beside the bed.
Pulling the covers up closer to her chin, she squinted at the blurred figure of the maid.
"My head hurts" she mumbled.
"Oh you poor thing. Should I send for the doctor?" she suggested as she ran a hand across Hermione's forehead.
She shook her head, but was forced to stop as it only proved to make her head hurt more.
"No thank you, I'll be fine" she replied weakly.
The handmaiden sighed. "Here, have one. It should make you feel a bit better..." she said as she took out a package from the pocket of the apron she wore over her lavender dress.
Hermione squinted her eyes. The sunlight suddenly seemed far too bright. Too damn cheery for her liking.
"What is it?" she asked curiously.
"A sweet. Fairly new. Made from pure crystallized honey" said Hestia pushing the sugared treat into the princess' hand.
Honey on a stick, how quaint.
Eagerly, she accepted the sweet and lapped at it thoughtfully. It tasted exactly like solidified honey.
"Mmm… this is delicious" she gushed while twirling the stick with her fingers.
It was a change from the complicated often dangerous wizard treats from Honeydukes. It was safe and simple, yet delicious.
The sugar shook her senses awake and gave her a temporary shot of energy.
"Thank you so much. Do tell me where you got this from."
The maiden slowly rose to her feet and replied, "My youngest sister sent some to me. Imported from somewhere in North America. Canada I assume."
"Mmm...Delightful. Works miracles! I feel loads better now," said Hermione still licking away contentedly at her honeyed lolly.
Hestia smiled kindly as she brought out a handful of the sweets and hid them away in one of the jewellery boxes upon the vanity.
"Some for later. Don't let anyone else find them. Princesses aren't exactly supposed to indulge in such trivial things.
Hermione nodded thankfully and snuggled further beneath her down covers.
"Well, seeing as you're feeling so much better…up! You must select a dress to wear. I've had a fair few brought in from various places in the country" said the maid rolling in a large rack filled with a vast selection of dresses.
Groaning, she heaved herself from the bed and pick out a random garment.
"I'll wear this one." she announced holding up an electric blue dress embroidered with a darker shade of blue.
Hestia wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Please, if you insist on a blue dress at least pick out a nicer shade. Here. This one." She said handing Hermione a midnight blue dress lined with a golden thread and a heart shaped neckline.
Ahhhh! Don't care what I wear as long as I'm not naked!
"Okay, great even better!" she exclaimed with evidently fake enthusiasm. "All done!"
The handmaiden frowned and shook her head.
"The ball is tomorrow night! Please, at least try it on, Princess," she pleaded.
Hermione sighed in defeat and snatched the garment from Hestia's outstretched hands.
"There's a good girl" she said as she helped the princess get dressed.
"I don't get it. What's the big deal with this bloody ball…" the brunette grumbled trying to pull up her dress.
"The King is trying to find you a husband, Princess, and please do watch your language." Hestia scolded.
"Yea yea yea…" she mumbled.
"He's had quite a time finding you proper suitors. You seem to ah….scare them off." she chuckled.
The maiden stepped back a few paces to admire the girl.
"You look lovely" she beamed. "All the men will swoon at your feet!"
Hermione simply shrugged indifferently and finished off her treat.
"I'll let you rest then. I shall cancel your remaining lessons for the day. Get some rest, Princess." And with those words said, Hestia scurried from the chamber leaving the princess to wallow alone in her befuddled state of mind.
Sighing deeply, she slumped spinelessly upon her bed without bothering to change. Every fibre of her body filled with dread for the following night.
.:.
"Are you sure you won't come son? It will be such a wonderful experience" said the Contessa as she fastened her pearl earring.
"Mother's right you know and the food should be exceptional also!" Prometheus chimed in.
"I stand by my argument: Don't go! Better for me!" Phaeton exclaimed cheekily. He'd received a light slap upon the wrist for that one.
Not for the first time, Draco firmly, yet politely refused although truth be told he was getting a tad bit irritated with everyone constantly trying to convince him to attend the blasted ball.
"No thank you mother. Really."
Countess Kallianeira sighed defeated and frowned. "Fine…If that is what you truly wish…we should be back by midnight. Till then, son."
She waved half-heartedly with a look of pleading gleaming within her eyes.
The other boys followed suit behind their preceding mother, filing out the door as Draco stepped up to lock it.
"Last chance son! Come will you please?!" the Contessa cried desperately as the carriage began to depart.
Rolling his eyes, he shot out the door without a reply.
Bloody hell…she never gives up!
Soundlessly, the singled out sibling paced around in small circles before the main doors almost an hour after the others had left.
I did the right thing I know I did.
Of course you did Dumbass, of course you did.
But…what if I didn't? I mean….why didn't I go now?
A little something called the Mudblood… remember?
Oh….right….but why should she stop me?
How should I know?
I should be there! I should be there to ruin her bloody night!
Of course you should…..dumbass
I SHOULD!
That's what I said dumbass
Will you quit calling me that?
Of course I will. Dumbass
Without wasting another precious Mudblood-antagonizing moment on his ridiculous contemplations, the Slytherin prince dashed out the doors all the while pondering whether he'd remembered to lock the doors or not…
Dumbass…
A/N
Vertical Horizon: Everything you want One of my absolute favoritest songs in the world!
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