Anakin pounced after the Ewok, leapt into the air, and landed flat on his face.
"What on earth are you doing, Padawan?" Obi-Wan asked in shock, emerging from behind a tree. "That is NOT proper behavior for a Jedi."
"Yeah but I'm the CHOSEN ONE, I can do what I LIKE," Anakin retorted.
"If I hear that sad, unworthy excuse for an excuse again, I'll…I'll…" Obi-Wan broke off.
"You'll what, master? Huh? HUH? You can't threaten ME, I'm THE Chosen-,"
"I'll make you share the room with Jar Jar tonight!"
Anakin had a look of horror on his face for a second, but soon lightened up. "But Jar Jar's DEAD!" He cried triumphantly. "The Force is so with me. I told you master you can't threaten the CHOSEN ONE-,"
"No, Padawan, they found him. Jar Jar is very much alive and being. Let's get back to camp."
"Jar Jar is BACK? I have a very bad feeling about this," Anakin shuddered, and miserably trailed after his master.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
They headed back to the beach, where Luke was constructing more huts.
"The Return of the Jar Jar," Anakin muttered darkly, and sighed.
"Oh, there you are you lazy, good for nothing- I mean Father. Why aren't you helping us with the huts?" He asked angrily.
"I was hunting, son," Anakin replied, just as bitterly. "Incase you don't realize, if we don't hunt, we'll be left with only fruit and lobsters for the rest of our lives, and everyone will get diarrhea. Now you wouldn't want Master Yoda to suffer so needlessly would you?"
Luke looked on in fear, an image of the fearsome green monster with indigestion problems. It was almost too terrifying to imagine. All the huts would just get blown away or burnt down from all that gas!
"Oh yeah? So you've caught something have you?" Luke challenged.
"I NEARLY did. If..If OBI-WAN here hadn't rudely INTERRUPTED my stealth attack-,"
"I'm sorry, Padawan, but I seem to remember you distinctly being on the ground with your face in the leaves when I came across you. The Ewok you were chasing was already across the trees, mooning you. I suppose you didn't see, due to you being flat on the ground." Obi-Wan tried not to smirk.
"You will not interrupt the CHOSEN ONE!" Anakin glared at his master, who was clutching his belly in laughter.
"But NO ONE is helping me with the shelters father!" Luke whined.
"What about Jar Jar?" Anakin asked, smirking.
"What are you talking about? Jar Jar's dead remember?" Luke said, confused.
"But Obi-Wan said…" Anakin glanced at his master, who seemed to have suddenly developed a fascination of inspecting the cuticle on his middle finger.
"YOU-YOU-,"
"Did you say something Padawan?" Obi-Wan asked innocently.
"YES, in fact I DID-," Anakin started, but then remembered what Obi-Wan would say if he finished his sentence. Frustration leads to anger, anger leads to hate- if he heard that useless mantra one more time, he thought he'd explode. So instead he took a deep breath.
"Yes, I was just commenting to Luke about how WISE your teaching was today. Fabulous. Quite fantastic. I consider myself very lucky to have you for a master, Obi-Wan," Anakin said in a droning monotone, constantly taking deep breaths.
"That's quite all right, Padawan. I'm glad you listened for once." Obi-Wan was trying hard not to laugh.
Anakin took more deep breaths, controlling his annoyance.
"Do you have a breathing problem, Father?" Luke asked.
"OF COURSE NOT YOU LITTLE-" Anakin started, but stopped. He knew Obi-Wan would simply quote the stupid Jedi chant again. So once again he took a deep breath and said, quite calmly, "No son. I am perfectly fine. Perhaps I just caught Grievous' assmar. Thank you for your concern."
Luke was so shocked at his father's calm reaction, he decided to take advantage of it as much as he could. "But DADDY, no one's helping me with the huts! I need help! Everyone's going to use them, so why do I have to build them? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?"
"I'll give you a cookie if you stop saying why," Obi-Wan said. (Sound familiar?)
"Really?" Luke yelped eagerly.
"No," Anakin cut in. "Master, please stop spoiling my son. Now back to the question you were asking before."
"You mean whining before," Obi-Wan said.
"No, being curious about the way our world works and wanting to know more cannot be classified as WHINING. You disgrace me, Obi-Wan." Anakin tried to defend his son.
Luke simply stared in shock.
"Would you care to repeat your QUESTION please, Luke?"
"Er," Luke said with wide eyes.
Anakin rolled his eyes.
"I asked why no one was helping me. With the huts. Why I had to build them all. When everyone else is going to use them. Why." Luke said, mortified.
Anakin gave up trying to be Mr.Nice guy. "That's not my problem, Son. You should've just been born as the CHOSEN ONE, and then the Force would favor you more."
"But what if there's a storm? We'd all get drenched and get blown away and die!" Luke complained, although relieved his father was back to normal. For a minute he had wondered if Anakin had suddenly been cloned or something.
"Well Sabe and Padme would at least finally have normal hair," Anakin said sourly.
"You're going off track, Father," Luke muttered.
"Oh I'm sorry son. It's not my fault you're too unintelligent to follow my words. I said, hunting and finding food are the most important things on the island for us." Anakin said, very, very slowly and deliberately.
"Are not," Luke said. "How about your little CHEERLEADING signal routine so we can get RESCUED!"
Anakin shot daggers at his son. "I-,"
"Having a Father-Son bonding time are we?" Yoda said cheerfully, walking past. "Well, disturb you I will not." He smirked and went off.
"Are too," Anakin retorted like a baby. "I don't want to live on fruit for the rest of my life! I'll get fat and lose all my muscle and my precious six-pack!"
Padme walked past. "Oh no Ani don't you dare. If you get fat, I am like SO dumping you."
"See? Hunting and finding food ARE the most important."
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Are not."
"Are too."
beepbeep- R2 asked inquiringly.
"No, R2, I wasn't talking to you," Anakin said to the droid. R2 whistled and slid away. He turned back to Luke. "As I was saying-,"
"Are not," Luke jutted in.
"ARE TOO!" Anakin yelled, enraged.
R2 slid back, whistling, confused.
"No not YOU, R2, I mean-,"Anakin got fed up and stormed off.
"Frustration leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate-," Yoda chanted as Anakin swept by him.
"-Leads to the dark side, I KNOW!" Anakin shouted.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Meanwhile, not far away, 3PO and R2 were picking fruits for everyone, because they were so kind, thoughtful and considerate.
Yoda was listening to music with headphones, but seemed to miss the point of having them. He sang with all the soul and energy a little green monster like himself could possibly sing with.
" Like a virgin," Yoda screeched. " Touched for the very first time!"
"If you don't shut up this instant, I'll whack you for the very first time," Han Solo muttered.
"Shut up, you want do you?" Yoda said. "Good idea, that is."
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP, WANNA HEAR YOU, I DON'T!" Yoda screeched out the Simple Plan number.
"No,no, Master Yoda, it's shut up shut shut up don't wanna hear YOU," Sabe corrected, munching on her starfruit. "It's not trendy to get lyrics wrong."
"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT OF MY WAY," Yoda continued, regardless.
"There you go! You're starting to get the hang of it!" Sabe exclaimed, very happy with herself. "Damn I want some candy."
Yoda happily pressed fast forward on his ipod and opened his mouth.
"To the candy shop, I take you. Lick the lollipop, I let you."
"I want a lollipop," Obi-Wan said mournfully.
"Go on girl, stop do not. Till you reach the spot, keep going." Yoda chanted, his eyes closed soulfully.
"Um, excuse me!" Leia, who had just joined the group exclaimed.
Luke soon followed, also listening to music, which happened to be the Star Wars Gangsta Rap parody (by Weird Al Yankovic).
"Obi-Wan never told you about your father.."
"Er, I did Luke," Obi-Wan said, confused.
"Tell me what he told you about your father," Luke continued singing.
"He is the most gorgeous, sexy, coolest, hottest guy of all time," Padme commented blissfully.
"Killing me, my loneliness is," Yoda was screeching from the other side.
"He told me enough, he told me you killed him!" Luke blasted, regardless of the others around him.
"Has there been a shooting? How awful! Who was killed?" 3PO exclaimed, handing Leia a grapefruit.
"Confess, I must, I still belieeeevveee," Yoda wailed.
"Then there's something I must reveal then," Luke got louder and louder.
"That you sing worse than Jabba the Hutt and Yoda combined?" Han Solo said. He looked down miserably at his moldy apple and sighed.
"When not with you I am, My mind I lose," Yoda rose to a deafening crescendo.
"I'M YOUR FATHER, I'M YOUR FATHER, I'M YOUR FATHER, I'M YOUR FATHER!" Luke was screeching by now.
"No Luke, I'M your father," Anakin said, approaching crossly. "Unfortunately…"
"HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!" Yoda screeched back.
Finally, Obi-Wan could take no more. Using the force, he lifted the headphones off both Luke and Yoda. They both got very pissed off and started throwing cookies at him. Anakin, suddenly aroused, dived in and tried to snatch as many of them as he could.
3PO had retreated from all the chaos into a tranquil, peaceful clearing deep inside the forest. Here he stood awkwardly and stayed silent, enjoying the stillness. He looked around and admired the flowers growing, beautiful petals emerging from ugly creepers, and birds singing joyfully among the trees. He loved the beautiful nature of the forest. Really, after a few days with the pandemonium that induced from the crowd, it was like he was in paradise.
SPLAT!- 3PO felt a large splat plop onto his metal head and saw a bird fly by above him.
"Drat! Blast these birds! How dare they try and excrete their own filth on my head? I polished it not even half an hour ago!" Worriedly, he raised his hand to the wet splat. It promptly got stuck due to the stickiness. 3PO rubbed his stomach worriedly. What would he do now? With one arm stuck to his head, it wouldn't be long before his arm got exhausted and short circuited!
And this is how R2 found him later, with one arm stuck to his head and one arm rubbing his stomach.
"This is the end of all dignity," 3PO muttered crossly, and grudgingly followed R2 back onto the beach.
Sorry, personally I feel that could've been much better. Guess I'm really hungry and can't concentrate properly XD.
