"Honestly Grievous, why can't you just get a freakin throat drop? That cough of yours is really starting to annoy m- I mean, it CONCERNS me to know you may have a terminal, serious disease. A GOOD DR-GENERAL like you shouldn't have to suffer so needlessly." Palpatine was whining.

Grievous coughed, and stated mechanically, "I have no throat for the cough drop to go into."

"That's it. I'm going to sulk until you fix that damn cough of yours-,"

"It's not a COUGH –cough-. It's my ASSMAR. If that savant –cough- idiot Windu hadn't –cough- damaged my delicate –cough- lungs-,"

"For Force's sake you skull-head, the guy has no hair and his lightsabers freakin purple! How dangerous can he be?"

"Well from what I remember –cough- in the script, he almost –cough- kills you," Grievous objected.

"I told you, I'm not going to talk to you. I'm sulking."

"Suit yourself," Grievous said, and coughed.

"Neheh," Palpatine stuck his tongue out at Grievous childishly.

Meanwhile on the beach, everyone was enkjoying the sunshine and playing.

"Are you done –cough- sulking yet?" Grievous asked Palpatine.

"Not unless you give me a cookie." Palpatine demanded.

"I guess not," Grievous muttered, and coughed. "Well I was just going –cough- to suggest we run –cough- over everyone's sandcastales, -cough- because we're evil. But I guess –cough- since you're sulking-,"

"Oh alright, FINE! Let's go."

"HAIII YA HEY HEY," Palpatine cried dramatically, like the war cry Red Indians used to give before they stuck a pole through someone's stomach.

Obi-Wan looked up just in time to see the chancellor trip over Chewbacca's body and land straight in his immaculately done sandcastle.

"NOOOOO!" Obi-Wan yelled, looked at his broken sandcastle with a mournful look in his eyes, and started bawling like a baby.

"MUHAHAHA! I feel EVIL!" Palpatine cried menacingly.

Chewbacca grunted and put his headphones back on to block out the annoying voice of the chancellor. He guessed it was better than having Jar Jar around again though.

Palpatine walked around, looking for another sandcastle to cruelly demolish. He found none, Leia and Han already having dismantled theirs to have a sandball fight with each other.

"You know you love me!" Han cried, dodging a sand ball.

"No! I told you, you scruffy looking nerf herder, I love Luke! Didn't you see me MAKE OUT with him just now? Boy that lad sure can move his tongue-,"

"But Luke's your BROTHER," Han Solo exclaimed, throwing a sand ball, which missed and stunned a penguin walking behind Leia.

"So? At least I don't crush on my fellow YETI-," Leia cried triumphantly, out of having found a blackmail excuse against Han, or for having survived the fight without breaking a single nail I don't know.

"He's a WOOKIE," Han said, turning a deep shade of red. "And who even told you that?"

Leia had stalked off, examining her still good-as-new nails. Han, frustrated and tired, grabbed a handful of sand and threw it hard behind him. It hit Palpatine straight in his privates and he doubled over, writhing in agony. Palpatine retreated to the forest, wailing loudly. Grievous followed him.

"How DARE they try to attack me like that? Do they not know who I am? I could easily destroy them both with one flick of my finger!" Palpatine instinctively flicked his finger to demonstrate. A small blue ray frizzled and with a –phut- disappeared.

Grievous coughed.

"Grr. I am angry." Palpatine declared, baring his teeth, and started trying to throw food at Leia's face a few metres away. Cookie crumbs and banana skins formed a neat circle around the princess, but not one caught its aim on target.

"Wow. Dude. You're aiming seriously sucks." Luke said, walking past him.

Leia, at the sight of realizing she was caught in a circle of peeled banana skins and cookie crumbs started to panic. As if almost on impulse, they exploded and Leia fainted while the fire crackled around her. Yoda calmly used the Force Grasp to lift her into the air and out of danger.

"My, my, Princess. Next time more careful you must be," Yoda chuckled, and walked away.

Leia, despite her unconscious state still managed to flip him off.

"Palpy?" Anakin stepped out of the shadows of the trees.

Palptine whipped around, shocked. "What in Force's name did you just call me?" He snapped.

"Oh don't you like it then? How about Tine then? Tina!" Anakin suggested eagerly.

"How about just 'master'?" Palpatine asked grudgingly.

"But that's so uncatchy!" Anakin whined.

Palptine rolled his eyes and handed Anakin a cookie. Anakin looked down at it, frowned slightly, then looked up, his eyes glowing. "Do you have Chocolate chip?" he asked, his eyes lit up like an eager puppy.

"NO, young Skywalker, I do not. I only have the shortbread. Take it or leave it."

Anakin frowned but took the cookie nevertheless.

"Yes so what did you want with a lowly being such as myself, oh mighty Skywalker?" Palptine asked sarcastically.

"I think," Anakin declared between bites of Scottish shortbread. "Since we ARE –the- hunters, we should paint our faces, you know, to look cool."

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" Palpatine cried, shocked.

"Are you deaf old man? To look COOL I said."

"I do not understand –cough- this concept of the word 'cool'. What exactly –cough- do you propose by the meaning of –cough- that word?" Grievous asked.

"Well I was just researching some, err, things," Anakin started, then coughed.

Palpatine looked happy. "Still a padawan and already having the breathing problem. He IS a fast learner. As you were saying?"

"Well I found out that on planet Earth there are some tribes who paint their faces when they hunt. It's like a ritual. Apparantly it helps you camouflage yourself while hunting, and it's like a sign of unity among the group."

"Can you speak in English please, Skywalker?" Palpatine muttered.

"In other words, it will be cool."

"If you say that word once more-,"

"You'll offer me another cookie?" Anakin asked eagerly.

"Damn, plan backfired," Palpatine muttered. "So, what colors can I put on?"

"YOU don't do anything, except help me raid Padme's make up box. You're going to watch ME paint my face, then I will choose what you should wear."

Anakin walked off, grabbing Palpatine's arm and dragging him along.

"Sheesh I thought I was the evil Sith lord," Palpatine muttered.

"Did you say something, Palpy?" Anakin asked.

"Yes, I was about to ask when was the last time you cut your nails?" Palpatine asked, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know. Maybe in February?"

"Ah."

"Chancellor?" Anakin suddenly burst out.

"Yes, Skywalker."

"Can I have another cookie?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Luke was doing sit ups on the sand.

"89…90…91…" He was counting.

"Counting sheep, are you?" Yoda said as he hobbled past. "Sleepy time yet, it is not."

Luke ignored the nutty old master and got up after finishing his 100th stomach crunch.

Suddenly a space shuttle flew overhead. Luke jumped up excitedly.

"LOOK LOOK LOOK THERE'S A SHIP WE'RE GOING TO GET RESCUED! YAY WE'RE GOING TO GET OFF THIS ISLAND YAYAY-" Luke could not keep in his excitement. "EVERYBODY GET YOUR THINGS, WE'RE LEAVING!"

Padme rushed out, her hair set in rollers with a face mask on. "WE ARE?" She cried excitedly.

"AHHH IT'S FRANKENSTEIN!" Luke screeched, pointing at Padme's creamy face. He fainted.

"Is it the new lipstick?" She asked worriedly. "Which has for some reason, I might add, DISSAPEARED?" she said, with a meaningful glance at Sabe.

"Um, I saw Yoda take it." Sabe shrugged.

"Yes he does look a little redder today doesn't he?" Obi-Wan suggested nervously, indicating to the little green jedi master who was feverishly rubbing on after-sun cream lotion on himself. He had the worst case of sunburn any jedi could possibly get from one day, and it clashed horribly with his mottled green skin.

"Master Yoda! Master Yoda!" Obi-Wan called out. "Pack your things, master! We're leaving this desolate place, finally! We just spotted a ship, come to rescue us! Oh, and Senator Amidala requests you give her her new lipstick back please!"

"What is that you say, Obi-Wan? Gone, the ship is. Saw us, it did not." Yoda went back to applying his lotion.

"But we saw it! It was coming straight for the Island! It must've seen our signal- hey! HEY! COME BACK HERE! WHERE IN FORCE'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!" Obi-Wan, who saw the ship passing by into the distance, shrieked manically. He was jumping up and down like a lunatic, all dignity forgotten. He was acting like a 5 year old who had just been denied the latest Action Man figure by his parents in the nearest Toy Store window. It was only when the cookies which Obi-Wan had thrown at the ship in vain came rebounding back and hit him square in the forehead, knocking him out, that he finally shut up.

Like a dog sniffing out a bone, suddenly out of the trees came Anakin! He was very happy and was skipping in perfect time to the dun dun dun theme that Grievous was coughing out melodically. He also was acting like a 5 year old, only one who HAD just received the latest Action Man figure from his parents. Like Master, like Padawan, everyone tiredly thought. "Do I smell COOKIES?" he cried eagerly.

"No," Han Solo muttered wearily.

"Oh well. It doesn't matter, because we have MEAT tonight!" Anakin proclaimed loudly.

"Kobe or US Prime?" Han asked curiously.

"Neither," Anakin replied happily, oblivious to Han's scowling expression. "But look- our first kill! We caught an Ewok! We caught an Ewok! Our first kill! We caught an Ewok! Our first kill! We caught-"

"That's it. I do not care for cute, innocent teddies being brutally murdered simply for their flesh. I'm going vegetarian." Leia declared.

Suddenly, Luke got up from his faint. His eyes were on fire, and he stormed up to a still skipping like an idiot Anakin (who had now started singing and talking in an annoyingly cheerful voice), shaking from his own anger.

"YOU LET THE SIGNAL FIRE GO OUT!" He shouted.

"We ain't got no signal fire son," Anakin sang, tuneless but cheerfully.

"Well, then you weren't DOING YOUR DUTY OF DOING YOUR STUPID LITTLE CHEERLEADING ROUTINE LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO? A SHIP WENT BY!" Luke screamed, frustrated.

"I saw three ships go sailing by on Christmas day, on Christmas day-" Anakin continued.

"That was not a CHEERLEADING ROUTINE-" Palpatine protested, holding the dead Ewok on the stick.

"I SAID, A SHIP WENT BY! WE COULD'VE GONE HOME! WE COULD'VE BEEN BACK IN OUR HOMES NOW, SEPERATED WITH A PROPER BED AND SHOWERS! MOTHER COULD BE HOME WASHING HER HAIR IN A DECENT SHOWER BY NOW!" Luke yelled, craftily bringing his mother into it.

"How could you abandon my need so? I don't believe what I'm hearing. Anakin, you're breaking my heart!" Padme wailed.

"You turned her against me!" Anakin growled at his son.

"No, no padawan, you say that to ME, not Luke," Obi-Wan muttered tiredly, rubbing his sore head.

"But you didn't do anything," Anakin said, confused.

"WHATEVER! THE POINT IS, A SHIP WENT BY AND WE COULDN'T GET RESCUED BECAUSE YOU LOT WERE TOO LAZY TO RELIGHT THE- TO GET YOUR SIGNAL GOING! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!" Luke cried, wringing his hands in frustration.

"Wecaughtanewok,ourfirstkill?" Anakin answered hopefully.

Luke took out a knife and tried to stab himself, but the blade broke as it hit his stomach. He regretted doing all those sit-ups earlier.

"Hello, DUDE, we got MEAT, okay. Be happy! We have meat. Meeeeeeeaaaat! MEAT! We'll roast it on fire until it's nice and juicy, and it'll be so succulent, so delicious, just like home—"

"'Dude' is MY word father. Don't try to be cool." Luke muttered.

"Hey I'm cool enough already, eh Padme?" Anakin said hopefully, and turned to his lover, who was wailing miserably. A concerned Sabe was standing there comforting her. Very strange indeed.

"She left her teddy bear and fluffy pink bunny slippers at home," Sabe explained sympathetically. "She misses them terribly. She's scared that without her teddy monsters will attack her from under the bed, and she's awfully slippersick."

"I'll sleep with you tonight!" Anakin said, rather too enthusiastically. " I mean of course, to make sure there are no monsters under the bed and all."

Padme smiled. "That's a good idea. We'll set up a mattress under my bed then."

Anakin's smiling face fell. "UNDER the bed?"

Obi-Wan smirked from behind him.

3PO suddenly appeared to ruin the mood.

"Excuse me sir, but I feel that we must address the issue Master Luke pointed out just earlier. Please take no offence at my observations sir, but master Luke WAS right- if the signal had been on that ship would've seen us and I'd be at home, taking a good, long deserved bath for my singed circuits! Dare I say-"

"3PO." Anakin growled. "This-" he said pointing to his palm. "Hand."

"This-" he said, curling his hand into a tight ball. "-Fist."

"This-" he said without any warning, "Punch to face."

3PO's head fell off and Yoda unknowingly sat on it.

-Fart- "Oh, excuse me," he giggled.

"Goodness gracious me!" 3PO's head exclaimed from under Yoda's butt.

He fainted.

"Yay all right let's party!" Anakin cried happily. "Who wants meat?"

"Gimme mine cooked Medium, kid." Han called out casually.

"That's SIR to you, Solo," Anakin snapped. "Honestly, people these days, treating CHOSEN ONES like they're just normal people-"

"We got any mustard kid? SIR?"

"No. Oh no it's the end of the world, my life feels so empty and desolate without a jar of mustard nearby. What is the meaning of life if there is no mustard?" Anakin rambled on sarcastically.

"Kid. Shut up and give me the freakin' meat." Han snapped.

"Yes your worshipfulness," Anakin mock bowed. Han Solo dropped his plate on Anakin's head accidentally-on-purpose.

"That's it. No one does that to the CHOSEN ONE and gets away with it." Anakin brandished his lightsaber.

"Qui-Gon, why the hell did you have to make up that blood title…" Obi-Wan looked up to the heavens.

"Yeah, so this is how we killed the ewok," Palpatine gabbled excitedly. "Vader- I mean Anakin took out his lightsaber and then he-"

Palpatine didn't have to explain any more, and to be honest no one was listening to him anyway. Anakin was showing it in actions.

Anakin was running after Han Solo wildly, wielding his lightsaber around like a madman. Solo was running, crouched, constantly looking back at him in disbelief. But then Anakin's lightsaber broke so basically he was still screaming and running after Solo, but just with an empty handle in his hand. Everyone decided to presume this did not happen in the actual event.

Everyone got tired and went to bed.

"I don't really like you," Anakin was saying to everyone who walked past his hut as they were going to their beds. He was experimenting to see how everyone would react.

So far, everyone had either ignored him completely or simply flipped him off.

"I don't really like you." Anakin muttered, just as Padme came up behind him.

"Oh that's sad. I thought you were pretty hot," she said breezily.

"You are," Anakin said, staring at her- face. They stared into each other's eyes for a long, long time. Padme was very nervous and licked her lips, trying to moisten them. Finally after about 30 minutes, Anakin finally spoke.

"You're rad. I'm rad. Let's hug."

They hugged.

Authors note-Ok I personally found that kinda lame and pointless, ill probably rewrite it later…but im going on holiday for 2 weeks from Thursday, so no update for a while! Keep reviewing though )