Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way.
CHAPTER 10
"She wants to remember. Isn't that right? She wouldn't have written us a letter if she didn't want to remember!" The eager rabbit was called over as soon as the letter was opened. Along with Momiji came Kisa, Haru, Hatori, Ayame, Kagura, Ritsu and Hiro.
Hatori smiled wistfully and said, "Yes. She wants to remember."
"Does this mean that sissy's coming back?" Kisa said, glowing with hope.
"We're not sure. All we can do is hope."
A few hours earlier, they all sat down and read the letter that Tohru had written, previous to the erase.
Beloved Sohma's, it read, by now, I've probably had my memories erased. Not just of you, but of my friends and mother too. You see, me and Akito had a deal. If I did not die to break the curse, if I failed, I would have my memories erased. Either way I would lose you, but I could try. I'm sorry for failing you, knowing that I did hurts more than you could know. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I was sworn to secrecy. I knew that if I told you what was going on, I would never be able to go through with the plan.
Even though I won't remember you in a few hours, I want you to know that I love you all; more than anything in the world. My days with you have been the happiest of my life, and if I could do it all over again I would. Please do not be sad, just live your lives. You all have so much going for you; I wouldn't want to ruin that. And please, don't be mad at Akito. He didn't push me to this, I did it all on my own.
Momiji, I'm sorry for letting you down. I know that we said that no memory was okay to forget. But, just know, that the memories that I've shared with all of you aren't forgotten, they're just temporarily lost. You are all too special to forget, so, one day, I'll remember. I don't know what will come of it, but I just want you to know that you're not forgotten. Lost is better, because then you can always find your way back.
Love always,
Tohru
"Is she right Tori-san? Are her memories just lost?" Momiji asked.
"Sort of. They're buried very deep; deeper than Kana's and others. But Tohru's special; she can remember what other people wouldn't be able to. But that's because she has the will to remember; she wants to remember."
"How long will it be until she remembers again?" Yuki asked hesitantly.
"I can't say," Hatori answered, glancing at Yuki, "All I can say is, don't egg her on. It won't help. If you talk to her about past experiences it may trigger something else; something that Akito planted. You all may talk to her, but pretend that you've just met. Try to start over until she fully recovers."
"She will fully recover, won't she?" Haru asked. His face was pale and his eyes looked a bit sunken in; darker than usual.
"Again," Hatori answered, grateful that Haru was talking to him again, "I cannot say. It all depends on Tohru. It's all up to her now."
Tohru took her time walking to class. She was fifteen minutes early and didn't feel like sitting in an empty classroom. Instead, she walked aimlessly through the hallways, smiling reflexively at people walking by. She was a bit dizzy and had to take light steps. Tohru walked over to the window and stared out at people walking by; she didn't see anybody familiar. She had to grab the window ledge to keep from falling. She clutched onto it like it was her life support, then let go and slid to the floor, breathing in deeply.
"Somebody call the nurse! Tohru! Tohru are you okay?" somebody shook her arm, causing her to bump her head on the wall behind her. "What are you doing just standing there? Go get the nurse! Don't worry Tohru, you'll be okay."
Tohru opened her eyes and saw a very stricken boy with flaming red hair staring back at her. She smiled, "Kyo. I remember." Then she fainted.
"Hatori, she's sick. Can't you do something? She's hallucinating. Why can't you help her?"
"Kyo, I'm sorry. There's nothing that I can do for hallucinations."
"Dammit Hatori, she thinks that her mother's still alive! She doesn't know what the hell's been going on."
"Maybe that's good for her Kyo, maybe it would have been better if she didn't remember."
"Better for who? You! Because then you wouldn't have to deal with another woman that you loved running out on you again. It's just like Shigure told me, Hatori. We're all hurting. Why are you being so selfish?"
"I'm being selfish Kyo? There's nothing I can do! I'm not the one asking the impossible. You're right, she's sick. But she was fine before she remembered what happened. And we don't even know how much she even remembers; maybe she just remembers Uotani-san and Hanajima-san."
"You can pretend you believe that Hatori, but you and I both know that it's just an act. I can see it in your eyes Hatori; you want her to remember, just as much as I do. Why can't you just admit it?"
"Because all we do is hurt Kyo. All we bring is pain, why can't you realize that? If you loved Tohru, you would just let her go."
"You don't believe that Hatori and you know you don't! She's had plenty of times to run away! She's had plenty of times to leave us, but she keeps coming back Hatori, because she loves us too. Maybe you've forgotten how that feels since Kana's been gone, but don't you dare take this away from me Hatori. She's all I've got."
"Then let her go. Do it before you hurt her even more."
Nobody was in the room when Tohru woke up. She didn't have to open her eyes to know where she was, the feel of the comforter over her and the sweet smell of perfume was enough to tell her. She was in her old room. She didn't want to disturb anybody, so she climbed to the roof, just like old times. She ran her fingers over the smooth panes and a million emotions came flooding back. Again she asked herself, what now? What would Akito do? What would she do?
The breeze felt gentle and cool against her hot body. She watched the leaves swirl in the air and didn't really think of anything; she just enjoyed the peacefulness of the night.
"Tohru? Do you need anything?" she heard Kyo's voice say from the ladder. She turned to face him and shook her head while bidding him closer.
"The last time we were on the roof together I had a bit of an outburst didn't I?" she laughed, "I'm sorry about that."
Kyo shook his head, "Don't be sorry. We're just glad that you're remembering again."
He laid back and put his hands underneath his head, just like old times.
"Kyo," Tohru asked, "Can you just tell me what I missed while I was...gone."
"Honestly, not much. Life is pretty boring without you messing things up." They both smiled and Tohru felt her cheeks heat up.
"Am I supposed to still remember the curse?" she asked, "Because I do."
"Well, I guess that's a good thing. It would have been a bit complicated if you didn't remember that."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Then Tohru laid back and put her head on Kyo's chest, leaning into him but leaving just enough space so he wouldn't transform.
"Tohru?" Kyo asked, alarmed.
"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. I've just wanted to do this for a while."
So have I, Kyo thought inwardly. But this wasn't the right time; he would tell her another time; when things weren't so hectic.
They lay there in silence, him stroking her hair, until their breathing fell into rhythm. Finally, they both drifted to sleep.
