Chapter Twenty-Three: It's Not Suppose to Hurt This Way
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me." the king said calmly.
"But-but-but you can't!" Queen Arachne stuttered. "I-I'm your wife! Your queen! You can't abandon me!"
King Titan shook his head. "I am most certainly not abandoning you. But as your king, I forbid you to neglect your queenly duties."
The queen's rouge smothered mouth opened and closed a number of times before she finally found the right words. "-But-but three months? The villagers of the West end need me far more than they do in the East end!"
"I have every reason to believe that the eastern end of my Kingdom requires attention and I strongly feel that you, as their queen are needed there. I also feel it greatly unwise of you to question my decisions." His tone was edged with a sharp blade and Queen Arachne dared not cross him. With his royal blue robes billowing behind him, the king swept from the court room and into the halls.
Stomping her foot upon the velvet, maroon coloured carpet that lined the stone floors, the queen bit her lip, holding back the scream of frustration she yearned to relinquish. She knew of his true intentions! She did! She did! But to her dismay, there was nothing she could do for she was merely the queen to the king….and nothing more. She was powerless against his wishes….but she was most certainly not powerless against his beloved daughter….
With a final glance back at the halls, Queen Arachne trailed out of the room, off to find a certain dark-haired prince.
xXx
His frozen fingers firmly gripped the slick, wet handle of his Nimbus 2001. If he wasn't careful, he'd plunge to his death. A rather painful one too mind you, but perhaps his torso wouldn't make such an impact on the smooth Quidditch field for the heavy rain had softened the solid ground considerably. Blaise inhaled sharply, barely noticing the tremor in his breath. The view from 50 metres off the ground was truly a sight to see, but at the present, scenery was the last thing on his mind. Blinking away the raindrops that blurred his vision, he angled his handle downwards and
Three.
Two.
One.
He fell.
Not a soul aside from his own was in sight. Spiralling down towards the vivid green pitch, he left behind all his confusion to sort itself out.
20 metres.
The ground was much, much clearer, but still, he fell.
15 metres.
Gravity was truly pulling it's weight. Would he be able to pull out in time?
10 metres.
Would he want to?
Five metres.
His hands still clung tightly onto the broom but he could feel his fingers slipping from the lack of friction between his smooth fingers against the wooden handle.
One metre.
Somehow, he'd managed to pull out in the nick of time, his Nimbus still hurling steadily at what felt like a thousand kilometres per second. Finally, Blaise released the broom that was less than a metre off from the ground and let his soaking wet body tumble limply onto the grass. Thirty seconds later, his broom collided with the goal post closest to the left side and fell unharmed onto the ground just as its owner had. All he could hear were the pounding of his blood, surging through his head and the heavy rain pelting down from the skies as if the ocean had suddenly been overturned. Burning and freezing, all at the same time; ever so slowly, his temperature began to even out as the rain fell upon his skin, searing right through the previously wet fabric, drenching his numbed flesh. Blaise lay upon his back, facing the falling sky; his heart thudded painfully against his chest as he tried the best he could not to breathe in any water. Upon their own volition, his eyes began to close. Strangely enough though, everything seemed far clearer when he was blind to the world.
I am such a jerk.
She undoubtedly hates my guts now…
What was he to do? For even he was unsure of his own feelings towards her now that he knew she was Igneous Amor. It was all so ….uncanny; well, to be more explicit, it felt like everything had suddenly become muddled into one, huge pile of shit and he himself was at the center of it all. Things had been going so well between them. How could she suddenly go and fancy him? And why the bloody hell did he have to feel something…..this…something he couldn't put into proper English, but he knew for sure that the feeling, was directed towards Ginny Weasley. His startling sapphire orbs opened a crack, the dreary grey sky that hung above seemed to mirror his emotions. When the rain seemed to have fully seeped through every inch of his clothing, Blaise lazily heaved himself up onto his feet and trudged across the vast field to retrieve his broom and head back into the castle.
xXx
King Titan looked up from his cooling tea, a bare amount of concern reflected within his beady eyes. "Well Hadrian, if that is what you wish to do, then I give you full permission to do so. She is your wife after all. But may I ask why you have so suddenly decided upon this?"
The dark-haired man firmly set down his fragile cup and looked up at the king. "Let's just say, when wandering, one sees many, many things. Some pleasant, and some….well, not so much" he replied, steadily seeking the appropriate words to use.
King Titan nodded, unsure of the true meaning of Spanish prince's words. "Ah, well, I shall not pry then. I suppose I shall be accompanying you two then. I wouldn't want to miss out on the most important day of my daughter's life now would I?" he paused briefly, taking a sip from his cup and possibly even awaiting a response of some sort. But upon receiving no such thing, he continued. "And I trust you shall take good care of my daughter?"
A grim smile spread across Hadrian's pale visage. "I would like nothing more than to take care of Artemis, along with those she cares most about…."
xXx
"Have you any details on the date of the wedding then?"
Pursing her presently uncoloured lips, the princess shook her head in reply and proceeded to remove the blush from her cheeks. "They seem to be excluding me from the whole event. It's absolutely ridiculous! I'm the bride for Merlin's sake!...Not that I want to be of course."
"Right," Draco muttered as he fell back into the role of the spoiled little pureblood.
She was his! Why should he have to share her? There were thousands of other princesses around, so why couldn't Hadrian just pick one of them? Even Merlin himself would not be able to save Hadrian if Draco ever found himself alone with the conniving bastard that so much resembled his closest comrade back at Hogwarts.
Stepping back from her vanity, Hermione moved towards where the Slytherin boy presently lay sprawled across her bed, and sat down beside him. She sensed hostility emitting from him.
"Draco, you know I don't want to." she said softly as she ran her fingers down his jaw line. "I have absolutely no control in my life, and I've already beseeched my father countless times to call off the engagement…"
Sighing, Draco opened his eyes and held her hand against his ever-pallid cheeks. "I know….it's just….everything's so hard….sometimes, I find it so difficult being with you. Especially since I've got to watch my back every five seconds. Getting my head whipped off at 16 wasn't part of my grand plan."
Hermione stiffened and pulled away. "What? So I'm not worth the risk?" she asked coldly. It was silly…no… it was stupid and she knew it. But a part of her just couldn't help but literally vomit the words at him.
"Hermione—you know that's not what I—"
"Artemis?" a knock rung out from outside. "Artemis? Are you there?"
Startled, Hermione whipped around, "Get out! Now!" she hissed.
"But—"
"What?" she asked sharply, not the slightest bit worried that she would regret the next words spoken. "You were the one who wanted to keep his bloody head on five seconds ago. I'm not worth losing it remember?"
He opened his mouth to retort, but found no words. Defeated, Draco bounded off the bed and scrambled out the mirror passage.
"Come—come in," Hermione called out, glancing back once more to ensure the mirror had been properly shut. Turing back, she somehow found herself less than an inch away from her visitor.
"Hadrian" she gasped as her golden eyes fell upon the one who'd caused her love life such controversy.
"You seem surprised, Princess" he said huskily, placing a kiss along her neck.
"You—you—I—" she stuttered, never quite finding the words as she stepped back from him, desperate to place distance between them.
"What's wrong? Don't tell me you're afraid of me." Hadrian wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.
"Of course not" she answered firmly with whatever nerve she still contained.
Hadrian's lips neared her own, and his intense, sky coloured orbs seemed to search her own, as if searching for something….like the truth.
Once more, she found herself becoming absorbed by him, as if he was burrowing deep within her soul, leaving her raw, tender flesh exposed.
"Don't lie to me, wife dearest" he whispered coldly, and captured her lips in a familiar intoxicating kiss.
From somewhere behind, Hermione could have sworn she heard a quiet, almost inaudible clicking sound….like something closing. "H-Hadrian, please. It-it's bad luck to kiss the bride before the wedding date," she lied.
"It's also bad luck to kiss another man when you are betrothed" he muttered bitterly as he released the presently vulnerable princess.
"What was that?" Hermione questioned, eyeing him inquisitively now that she was slowly regaining her will power.
"Nothing….just a….musing. I must leave you then. Good day, my love." And with a final kiss against her clammy fingers, her fiancé departed, shutting the door firmly behind him.
xXx
Her robes steadily grew heavier with the rain, but she couldn't care less. It made her feel good; or at least better. Depression was not a feeling she enjoyed much. Neither was pain nor fear. Wandering aimlessly, she found herself far from the shelter of the castle. Finally, when she felt the water gushing from her robes with each step she took, Ginny carefully slipped it off, leaving her exposed in merely a t-shirt and left it behind her, careful to remember where she'd laid it so she could retrieve it when she felt like returning. The rain felt smooth and light against her warm, lightly freckled skin. Oddly, the coldness seemed not to affect her, as she was already numb to begin with.
Have you ever loved somebody so much,
It makes you cry
The rain streamed down at a steady rate, and as it lacked any wind force, straight down in vertical lines. Beknownest to her, the drops that streamed down her face became mingled with the tears that shed from her auburn eyes. The question of 'why did it hurt?' pulsed through her mind, it was all too much for her to bear. She knew exactly why it hurt; she simply preferred lying to herself, pretending that everything was fine; but when the pain became unbearable, she found it difficult to conceal the truth. It hurt because she trusted him; It hurt because she'd fooled herself into believing he was something that he wasn't. It hurt because she'd fooled herself into believing that he wasn't like them; that he was…..different.
Ha…and I thought Crabbe was stupid…
And yet somehow, throughout all the pain, she still seemed to want him, she still wanted him to hold her in his arms, she still wanted him to whisper sweet nothings into her ear, to kiss her….to tell her he loved her as she loved him.
Was it even love?
How could it be?
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
There were so many things Ginny didn't know and even more that she never wanted to know, but love; love was something she wanted to know, to feel, to experience; to have. But how many guys would she have to go through to find her love? She had wanted so badly for Blaise to be the one. Her hopes had been so high that the fall had inevitably crippled her.
And speaking of crippling…
Unknowingly, the little Gryffindor, lost in her pool of desolation, managed to trip face first into the damp ground after stumbling over a discarded broomstick.
This was the final twig that broke the Hippogriff's back.
"Why does the world hate me so much?" she sobbed into the empty rain. Drawing herself into a ball, she lay upon the ground, grasping tightly onto the broomstick that'd caused her such misery. "Who the fuck would leave a broom in the middle of nowhere?" she shrieked hysterically, casting the broom as far away as she could.
"I would."
No, no, not this again
It was him.
"Weasley, are you alright?" he asked, kneeling down beside her.
Firmly, she bit down on her lip, determined not to scream and moved onto her knees.
"…Ginny?"
Even now, the sound of his voice sounded sweet to her ears. "Do you really think I'm okay?" she asked angrily, trying desperately to force malice into her reply.
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away,
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Blaise cringed," I'm-I'm sorry, I really am." He moved to place his hand upon her shoulder, but she jerked away.
"Don't touch me." It sounded more of a plea than a command. "You have nothing to be sorry for. And if you did, you wouldn't know what you were sorry about."
"I do know," he said softly, as he ran a hand through his raven hair that was now plastered to his head. "….Igneous Amor."
Her heart stopped. He knew. How did he know?
No
No
No
"You're not supposed to know!" Ginny cried, unable to stop the flow of tears she was now fully aware of.
"Ginny, please, don't cry." Blaise pleaded. Unsure of why, it seemed to hurt him inside to see her in such a state of despair. Lovingly, he placed his hands upon her burning cheeks. This time, she did not pull away.
His hands seemed to burn through the layer of iciness that numbed her cheeks sending a feeling of warmth and apprehension surging throughout the whole of her tiny body, and perhaps even deeper than that.
"I'm so sorry, Ginny. I'm so sorry. I was…I didn't think—I wasn't thinking," he whispered, staring deep into her soul.
Confusion fogged over her mind as she hadn't a clue what his intentions were. She hadn't a clue what she was to do any longer.
"Stop messing with my mind. I know you think this is funny, but it hurts….yes. That's right. Ginny Weasley has feelings. Surprise, surprise!" she spat scathingly, still disbelieving of his words and turned her head away from him.
"Ginny, stop it. Stop doing this to yourself. Just listen to me." Blaise paused and took in a deep breath. "I swear to Merlin I'm not messing with your mind. Maybe, I like you….the way you like me." He stood still awaiting anxiously for a reaction.
She sat with her back turned to him, unresponsive for moments that seemed to drag on for eternity. "I don't think that's possible" she said finally, still refusing to look him in the eyes for fear of falling into his trap. "Just go away…."
"No. No I won't go away, Ginny—Will you look at me?" he cried in exasperation. Faltering, Ginny slowly turned back, careful to avoid his eyes. "You're afraid of being with me aren't you?" he said wisely.
Bull's- eye
She bent her head farther down, staring hard at her muddy trainers. Frowning, Blaise placed his hand beneath her chin and forced her to look him in the eyes. "You are, aren't you?" he said knowingly.
"I think you would be too if you were feeling what I felt." she said, dropping her gaze.
"Then show me. Show me how you feel." Blaise whispered, willing for her to open up to him.
Ginny shook her head, "and have you endure the pain that I've endured? I could never do that to you. I would never want you to suffer such agony."
His oceanic orbs widened, he had been rendered speechless. Pulling her against his body, Blaise held her tightly as if trying to absorb her pain. He held her for never-ending moments as the rain gradually lightened to a drizzle, but it made little difference now for the two were now fully drowning in one another.
"Blaise, what does this mean?" Ginny asked softly as they were still grasping onto one another, for what felt like an eternity.
Gazing deep into her eyes, he replied, the truth radiating from his every word. "It means, Ginny, that I never want you to leave me."
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
She never did find her robes again.
xXx
Collapsing onto her bed, Hermione heaved a sigh. What an uneventful evening she'd had. The strangest thing though, was that it seemed Draco had been avoiding her all throughout the meal.
Feeling thoroughly relieved that she was finally alone, Hermione glanced about her room, and eerily, her eyes seemed magnetically attracted to one certain spot; her vanity table. Upon it were two pure white flowers. One was a lily; Hadrian undoubtedly. And the second, a rose; Draco. She stared at the two similar flowers that lay atop her table. They were so peculiarly similar, yet so unmistakably different. Hopping boyishly off her bed, Hermione flounced across her room and crouched down before her vanity, staring level at the flowers.
The rose was evidently more beautiful, but it also bore pricking thorns that would cause her pain if she were to accidentally pierce herself. The lily on the other hand, was somewhat plainer and it lacked the unique loveliness that only a rose could bear; but, the lily bore no thorns, and that was undoubtedly the most important part. It could do her no harm. Leaning in, Hermione inhaled the sweet fusion of both flowers combined. It seemed both scents were equivalent. Neither over powered the other, and yet, she could still make out clearly which was which.
Hesitating, the princess gingerly picked up the lily, but within a heartbeat, exchanged it for the rose. Looking close, she noticed a light brush of crimson along the pearly tips.
How odd.
Thoughtfully, Hermione ran her thumb across the milky white petals. Oddly, it reminded her of Draco's complexion. It had barely been four hours since she'd last talked to him, and she missed him already.
With a sigh, she fell onto her knees. For once, well maybe not once, but this time, she'd acted like….a girl. She wasn't supposed to care about stupid things like that….only girls did. Stupid girls. Funny how she used to scorn Parvati and Lavender for playing such childish tricks on their boyfriends, and now, being the hypocrite she was, was following in their steps. Perhaps a girl just needed to be told silly things sometimes, just for the heck of it. But boys didn't know such things now did they? They didn't know that sometimes, a girl needed to be told they were beautiful, to be told they were loved, to be told they were worth dying for; even if it wasn't one-hundred percent true. It just felt good…
She had to tell him. She had to tell him she was sorry….that she was being, well, quite plainly, stupid.
Clutching the rose to her chest, Hermione leapt up to her feet and disappeared through her hidden escape.
"Eighth notch on the left" she muttered to herself as she ran her hand along the dank, stone walls.
Having travelled the route numerous times, Hermione had a bare minimum of trouble finding her way to Draco's room. Fortunately, she hadn't come across any creepy crawlies lurking about since the first time she'd ever come through here; with him—with Draco.
Draco.
His name seemed to slip off her tongue now with such ease. Before this she would never have considered calling him by his first name having preferred never having to speak of him anyway. But now—now, it just seemed so right. Being with him seemed so right; she couldn't imagine not being with him now that she was. He was everything to her. Draco was her lover, her friend, her confidant, her protector, her…
Knight in Shining Armour.
He was the knight that she'd been awaiting all her life. He was the knight that swept her off her feet, took her breath away, and loved every part of her all at once.
Well, maybe not loved seeing as they had yet to say the L-word to one another. But nonetheless,
He was her happy ending.
Draco Malfoy was her happy ending.
3….2….1….Bingo
With a firm thrust of the heel of palm, the trap door clicked open and the familiar scene of dark cloaks shrouded her vision. Pushing through the various garments that lined the wardrobe, she paused a moment to lean over and press her ear against the door to ensure he was alone.
All clear
Praying he wouldn't be too mad, Hermione clicked open the wardrobe door and stepped out. He wasn't asleep.
His back was faced to her, but what she saw behind him made her breath slip away.
Oh…
A/N
Dundundun…
Song by: Brandy- Have You Ever is that not the most beautiful and terribly realistic song ever? I just felt the need to use the whole song!
