Chapter 13 Falling Into Oblivion

Obi-Wan must of dozed off, because when he opened his eyes again it was dark. And he smelled something cooking. Obi-Wan smiled when he smelled the familiar smell. It was his favorite soup. The one Qui-Gon made him when he was sick. Suddenly the warm, fuzzy feeling he had dissipated, and the anger returned. Obi-wan did not make an attempt to stop it. He needed to feel something.

A knock on his door caught him off guard, "come in."

Qui-Gon entered, "Hi, I thought you may be hungry."

Obi-wan shrugged, "Can I sit up?"

Qui-Gon placed the tray down, "No, but this bed can be raised so it seems like you are sitting. It won't put any pressure on your spine."

Obi-Wan did not say anything as Qui-Gon used the controls to manipulate the bed. Qui-Gon got the bed into position and moved the tray over to Obi-Wan's lap. Qui-Gon smiled a sad smile, "I made your favorite. You need to keep your strength, so please eat."

Qui-Gon sounded so depressed, Obi-Wan almost begged for forgiveness right then and there, but the door chime stopped him. Obi-Wan knew who it would be, it would be Bruck and Klea. Coming to see how he was doing. Obi-wan was not sure if he was ready for that.

In a moment, the door opened again, and there stood Bruck, smiling, and Klea looking like an animal stunned by the headlights of a speeder.

Klea managed a smile, "Hi, Obi-Wan. I see my Master sprung you from the clinic."

In a rude tone, Obi-Wan answered, "Yep, so you will not have to gawk at the invalid everyday."

Bruck was stunned, that did not sound like his friend, "Hey, Obi, take it easy on her, she is worried about you."

Obi-Wan shrugged, and replied, "Yeah, everyone is so worried about me. Stupid Obi-Wan, who lives in the medical ward."

Klea argued, "No one thinks that Obi-wan."

Obi-Wan replied, "I even met my girlfriend in the med unit. Can't meet a girl in a normal place."

At that remark, a hurt look washed over Klea's face. Without a word, she turned and left leaving a very guilty Obi-Wan in her wake.

Bruck looked at his friend, "That, was uncalled for. That girl has been beside herself with worry and you treat her like that."

Obi-Wan looked down at the tray in his lap, "I did not mean to hurt her, but I am so frustrated."

Bruck gave Obi-Wan's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, "I know, but it is going to be ok."

Bruck did his best to ignore his friend's nasty attitude. He knew that Obi-Wan was scared, he could only imagine what his friend was going through.

After a few strained minutes, Bruck said, "Master An-Paj says that you should be able to start classes in a few weeks."

Obi-Wan stiffened, "I am NOT going to classes."

Bruck asked, "Why not? You need will have to keep up on your studies."

Obi-Wan shook his head, "Bruck, you have to understand. I can't go to class, everyone will look at me, feel sorry for me."

Bruck knew that Obi-Wan was opening up for the first time, he tried to draw him out more, "I understand your hesitation, Obi, but your wrong. Hopefully, Master Nik-Ka will help you see that."

Obi-Wan responded sharply, "I am NOT going to the mind healer either. I can handle this on my own."

Bruck wanted to argue with Obi-Wan. Bruck knew that Obi-Wan could not handle this. But Bruck decided that Obi-Wan was struggling enough. There would be time to talk about this later.

Obi-Wan then continued, "I won't be in this years lightsaber championship either."

Bruck bit his lip and nodded, he did not have the heart to tell Obi-Wan that his was entered. He remained silent. Guilt burning through him, after all it was his fault Obi-Wan was like this.

Bruck entered the apartment he shared with his Master. He sensed Darick in the kitchen, but made his way to his room. He stretched out on his bed, and placed the pillow over his face.

A minute later, there was a soft knock on the door, Bruck called out in a soft voice, "Come in."

Darick entered with a cup of tea, "I thought you might like some tea." He waited for his padawan to sit up, and handed him the mug. He then waited for Bruck to speak.

Bruck took a sip of tea, "Thank you, Master."

Darick sat on the bed and asked, "How did the visit go with Obi-Wan?"

Bruck took another sip of tea, and sighed, "Not well, he is being mean to everyone. Klea, Master An-Paj, Master Qui-Gon. Being mean to everyone, except me."

Darick asked, "Do you want him to be mean to you?"

Bruck shook his head and put down his mug, "No, but I am the one who deserves it."

Darick then said, "No, Padawan, you don't deserve it. But neither does anyone else."

Bruck nodded, "I am going to keep doing what I am doing. Hopefully, he will realize that we all love him and want him to get well."

Darick pulled his apprentice into an embrace, "Well said, Padawan. With a friend like you, Obi-Wan can't fail."

Qui-Gon sat in the living area of his apartment. Leona and An-Paj were in Obi-Wan's bedroom, giving him his daily exam. Qui-Gon was absolutely exhausted. The past week had not only been hard on Obi-Wan. It had utterly worn out the strong Jedi Master.

Qui-Gon had spent the week waiting on Obi-Wan hand and foot. Not that the Master minded, but it had drained him. He cooked all of Obi-Wan's favorite foods, to get him to eat. Bathed the boy, helped him to the 'fresher, and sat with him at night until he drifted off to sleep. Then Qui-Gon would not fall into a deep sleep himself, afraid that Obi-Wan would need him, and he would not hear him.

Qui-Gon was so lost in his thoughts. He did not hear An-Paj calling him at first, "Qui-Gon? Qui-Gon? MASTER QUI-GON JINN?"

Qui-Gon jumped, "Oh, An-Paj, how is he?"

An-Paj took a seat next to Qui-Gon and took the Master's wrist, checking his pulse, "Getting stronger, but you don't seem to be doing that well."

Qui-Gon removed his wrist, "I am fine. My only concern is Obi-Wan, how is he?"

Leona came out of Obi-Wan's room and answered, "He can start using the hover chair. And his therapy will take place everyday. Be prepared, his nerves are going to feel like their all clamoring for attention. It will be painful for him."

Qui-Gon nodded, "How can I relieve his pain?"

An-Paj said, "There really is no way to relieve it. Warm compresses, massage, those are the only things you can do. Now, getting back to you. When was the last time you had a good nights rest?"

Qui-Gon was firm with his answer, "I am fine."

Leona sighed, "Qui-Gon, maybe we should take Obi-Wan back to the healers ward."

Qui-Gon was fixed, "Absolutely not! He is my apprentice. I will take care of him."

An-Paj and Leona traded glances, "Of course, Qui-Gon."

'
Qui-Gon was up early the next morning. He made Obi-Wan his favorite breakfast. Obi-Wan still was not eating well, and it was concerning Qui-Gon. His attitude was also causing the Master some stress. It seemed that the only person Obi-Wan could tolerate was Bruck.

Klea had stopped coming. And it bothered Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan did not seem to care. Qui-Gon placed a pot of tea on the tray with Obi-Wan's breakfast and went the teen's room.

Obi-Wan was awake, but he did not bother to pull himself into sitting position, even though it was safe now. Qui-Gon put down the tray, "Obi-Wan, can you please sit up?"

Obi-Wan replied, "You and Masters An-Paj and Leona have been telling me to lay still for weeks, and now you want me to start moving around?"

Qui-Gon did not answer, he just pulled Obi-Wan into sitting position and placed the tray in front of him, "Please try to eat something. Then we are going to Master Nik-Ka."

Obi-Wan shook his head, "I am not going to the mind healer!"

Qui-Gon almost lost patience, but held it back, "Yes, you are. You have no choice in the matter. After that you are going to the healers for your therapy."

Obi-Wan sulked, "But the healers always come here! How am I suppose to get there?"

Qui-Gon answered calmly, "You will use the hover chair."

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon in disbelief, "You can't expect me to go through the temple in that thing. Everyone will see me!"

Qui-Gon replied, "Obi-Wan, you can't hide in this room forever. You need to get out. Your injury does not have to be permanent, but it is important that you do your therapy so you can regain your strength, and the use of your legs."

Obi-Wan then snapped, "How do you know, it is not permanent? I can't feel anything! I don't want to go, and if you cared about me, you would not make me!"

Qui-Gon stood, Obi-Wan's words hurt him deeply, "I do care about you, and that is why you are going. I will give you time to get dressed."

Obi-Wan was indignant, "By myself? You know I need your help."

Qui-Gon took the tray, "Actually, you can do this by yourself."

Obi-Wan shouted, "FINE! I don't need you anyway!"

Qui-Gon ignored the cursing coming from Obi-Wan's room. Under normal circumstances that behavior would call for correction. But these were anything but normal circumstances. After several minutes the door opened. Obi-Wan managed to get dressed, but not as neatly as he should. He was in the hover chair, and struggling to get out of his room. More curses flew from his mouth when he could not maneuver the chair through the doorway.

Qui-Gon firmly stated, "That is enough, Obi-Wan, Cursing will not help matters any. Take your time and you will be able to move your chair through the doorway."

Obi-Wan snapped, "I can't do it! Don't you see that? Can't you just get a clue for once in your life?"

Again, Qui-Gon ignored the words that wounded his heart. He instead stated, "It is time for your appointment with Nik-Ka. I had hoped you would have taken more time with your grooming."

Obi-Wan replied, "What's the sense? I am a useless invalid. A cripple who will never amount to anything. And if you cared about me at all, you would let me stay home."

Qui-Gon reasoned, "Obi-Wan, that is not true..."

Obi-Wan did not allow him to finish, "Well what are you waiting for? I haven't got all day. Lets go so I can get this over with."

Obi-Wan was deeply ashamed by his behavior. He knew he had hurt Qui-Gon but somehow he was justifying it because of his injury. Surly Qui-Gon understood. He was not even saying anything about the blatant disrespect. Qui-Gon walked beside the hover chair not speaking. Obi-Wan was becoming a handful. And even with his injury, Qui-Gon should not tolerate the boy's actions. But Qui-Gon simply did not know what to do.

Obi-Wan ignored the padawans and initiates in the hallway. He kept his eyes straight ahead and focused. It did not take long to reach the Master Nik-Ka.

The mind healer was expecting them, he greeted the warmly and ushered them inside. He could tell that Obi-Wan was not handling the situation well, and neither was Qui-Gon for that matter. He turned to Obi-Wan, "How are you today, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan responded, "Just grand, can't you tell?"

Nik-Ka blinked and continued, "I know this is hard, Obi-Wan. I want to help you through those feelings."

Obi-Wan held back tears and snapped, "I don't want your help! I can handle this on my own!"

Qui-Gon started to say something, but a look from Nik-Ka stopped him. Nik-Ka responded, "I beg to differ, Young One. But I will not force you to talk. I will be here when you are ready. Now since you do not need my services, why don't you go on to physical therapy. I would like to speak with your Master."

Obi-Wan was surprised at the calm and firm tone the mind healer used, "But...but, I would have to go alone."

Nik-Ka nodded, "Yes. Is there a problem with that? According to you, you have everything under control. Surly you don't need your Master holding your hand like a new initiate."

Obi-Wan's mouth dropped open, he looked at Qui-Gon for help, but to his surprise, Qui-Gon said nothing. Setting his jaw, the angry apprentice made his way out of the mind healer's quarters.

After he left, Nik-Ka said, "I am sorry Qui-Gon, but he needed to be put in his place."

Qui-Gon nodded, "It's all right my friend. I understand. It seems I have not been putting him in his place at all."

Nik-Ka considered his friend's words, "Talk to me Qui. I am worried for you as well."

Qui-Gon stated, "I am fine."

But the mind healer knew he was not, "Qui-Gon, you are not fine. Let me help you."