Chapter 15 Lashing Out at Those We Love
Qui-Gon felt better after talking with Nik-Ka. The mind healer always knew what to say. And Qui-Gon was able to discuss his frustration and fear as well. After the session, Qui-Gon went to the Med Ward to see how Obi-Wan was doing in therapy.
Along the way he ran into Bruck. Bruck grinned at the master, "Hi, Master Qui-Gon. How is Obi?"
Qui-Gon answered, "The same. He is at his therapy now."
Bruck nodded, "Has he changed his mind about class?"
Qui-Gon shook his head, "I am afraid not. I can't seem to talk him into it."
Bruck considered this, and then said timidly, "I would like to help. Obi-Wan and I have all the same classes. I can bring him the assignments and help him keep caught up."
Qui-Gon placed a hand on Bruck's shoulder, "Obi-Wan has a fine friend in you, Bruck. That would be wonderful."
Bruck smiled again, "Great! Bye, Master Qui-Gon." Bruck hurried off to his next class and Qui-Gon continued onto the medical ward.
He went to the exam room, where Obi-Wan was. Today was to start the massages that would keep his muscles toned. After that, the healers would move onto teaching Obi-Wan how to walk. It was going to be a long and painful recovery.
Qui-Gon opened the door and was shocked at the sight that greeted him. Obi-Wan was laying on the table having muscle spasms. Three healers, including An-Paj were trying to get them to stop. Obi-Wan was softly crying. Immediately, Qui-Gon went to Obi-Wan's side and took his hand.
Obi-Wan looked up, "Master, make it stop, please!"
Qui-Gon's heart broke at the sound of his padawan's desperate voice. Qui-Gon was powerless to help. He could only wait until the healers massaged the spasms away.
After maybe half an hour, the spasms were under control, and An-Paj said, "Obi-Wan, I know that was bad, and it may get worse. But we have to do this if you are to get better."
Obi-Wan shook his head, "I don't want to do this anymore. I won't."
An-Paj grew firm, "I am afraid that you are going to do this everyday, Obi-Wan. We may not be able to force you to talk to the mind healer, but I do have a say about your physical well being. I for one am not going to stand for any of your antics. Understood?"
Obi-Wan glared at the healer, but did not answer.
An-Paj ignored Obi-Wan's stare and motioned for Qui-Gon to step outside. Qui-Gon followed. An-Paj wasted no time getting right to the point, "He is fighting us, Qui-Gon. Fighting us tooth and nail. I am worried about his recovery."
Qui-Gon sighed, "I am as well. But I am wary of pushing him."
An-Paj nodded, "I understand, Qui. I am the same way with Klea. But you have to know this. The longer there is no improvement, the less improvement there will be."
Qui-Gon frowned, "What do you mean?"
An-Paj looked his friend in the eye, "What I mean, is if Obi-Wan does not want to do this, then he is never going to get better."
Qui-Gon dropped his head and considered the healer's words, "I understand."
Obi-Wan did not say anything on the short time it took to get back to their home. But he was exhausted. The therapy took a lot out of him, and he did not want to repeat it again.
Obi-Wan was surprised to see Bruck waiting at their door with an arm full of books. He bowed to Qui-Gon and greeted his friend, "Hi Obi-Wan. I thought we could study together."
Obi-Wan shook his head, "I don't think so. I am not going to class."
Bruck shifted a little, "Well, I talked to the instructors, and they said it was ok for you not to come to class for now but you still have to keep up."
Obi-Wan stared longingly at the books. He was an A student and he missed going to class. Qui-Gon once told him that he thirsted for knowledge, and it was true. Obi-Wan loved to learn. After a few minutes Obi-Wan nodded his head, "OK, but I am not going to class...EVER!"
Bruck winced at the power behind those words and nodded. He hoped he could make Obi-Wan see differently, but how could he when Obi-Wan's own master could not.
Qui-Gon meditated in the time that Bruck kept Obi-Wan occupied. The Master had not done much meditation since they arrived home. Qui-Gon reached out to the force and asked for guidance. He knew he could not allow Obi-Wan to continue to act the way he was acting, but how could he discipline the boy?
Sometime later, Bruck stepped out of the room, Qui-Gon was having a cup of tea. He smiled at Bruck, "Padawan, would you care for a cup of tea?"
Bruck returned the smile, "No, Master Qui-Gon. My master is waiting for me. I...I would like to come back tomorrow if I may?"
Qui-Gon nodded, "Of course you may, Padawan. You are always welcomed here."
Bruck replied, "Thank you. I will bring more books. I think I got him interested. But...but, he is just...well..."
"Not the same?" Qui-Gon finished for him.
Bruck sighed, "Yes, Sir."
The Master considered the troubled boy in front of him, "No, he is not. But we will be patient. Our Obi is in there somewhere."
Bruck left the Jinn/Kenobi household and returned to his own apartment. Obi-Wan seemed to do the studies with an with great interest, but he still was aloof. Cold and aloof. It was a nature that was not fitting to Obi-Wan, and it was scaring the people that loved and cared for the boy.
Darick was waiting for Bruck when he entered. Immediately he sensed the boy's distress, "How did the visit go?"
Bruck flopped down on the sofa next to his master, "Better, he actually liked the idea of doing his studies at home. But, he is still the same. It is killing, Master Qui-Gon."
Darick answered, "And you as well I think?"
Bruck nodded, "And...and, there's something else."
Darick asked, "Oh, what's that?"
Bruck sighed, "How am I suppose to tell him I am in this years lightsaber championship? I don't want him mad at me."
Darick thought for a moment and answered, "There is no reason for Obi-Wan to be angry with you. And if he is, he will have to understand that you have a right to participate as well."
Bruck nodded and said, "I think I am going to meditate before dinner."
Darick replied, "I will call you when dinner is ready."
Obi-Wan sat in his room looking at the astro physics book that Bruck left behind. It was his favorite subject and he could not help getting exited over it. He considered going to class, but dismissed the thought just as quick. There was no way he was going back. There was no way he was becoming a Jedi either. Whoever heard of a Jedi who could not walk? So where would that leave him. The agri corps? No, he wasn't even fit to be a farmer anymore.
And what about Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan loved him, could not imagine life without him. But, Qui-Gon would still be a Jedi. And he would not be able to take Obi-Wan on missions. In fact, he might pick a new apprentice.
Qui-Gon stood in Obi-Wan's door way watching him. The boy seemed deep in thought. Qui-Gon called, "Obi-Wan, it's time for dinner."
Obi-Wan jolted. He wanted to say he was not hungry, but he was. The therapy took a lot out of him. He sighed, "Yes, Master. I guess I better call you that now, because who knows how much longer I will be able to call you Master."
Qui-Gon felt as though he was slapped, "What are you talking about? I am and will always be your master. Even when you are Knighted and have a Padawan of your own."
Those words shocked Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon--his Master--still believed in him. Still thought he was going to be a knight. And as much as they shocked the bitter Padawan, they filled him with warmth. Qui-Gon still loved him.
Qui-Gon thought he may have just gotten through to Obi-Wan. No matter how the boy was acting, Qui-Gon would support him. He was his padawan, his son. He would always be a part of Qui-Gon's life. No matter what. Qui-Gon was happy to see Obi-Wan eat his dinner. But soon after, the boy was ready for bed. He would have another trip to the healers tomorrow and would need his rest.
Qui-Gon too, was exhausted. He drank a cup of tea and went to bed himself. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
It was sometime later that groaning woke Qui-Gon up. Looking at the chrono beside his bed, he saw that it was still several hours until daylight. Qui-Gon jumped out of bed and threw his robe on. Hurrying down the hall, he entered Obi-Wan's bedroom.
Obi-Wan was laying on the bed writhing in pain. Immediately, Qui-Gon went to his side, "Obi-Wan, what is it?"
Obi-Wan whimpered, "My legs, they are tingling. It hurts me Master! It hurts."
Qui-Gon sighed, "I know it is painful. But it is a good sign. I will get some warm compresses to help it subside." Remembering what An-Paj and Leona told him, Qui-Gon placed warm compresses on the boy's legs and then began to massage the pain away.
Qui-Gon never got back to sleep that night. It took some time to get the tingling to stop. Qui-Gon waited until Obi-Wan was back asleep, and then he went to the living area and called the healer's ward on the com center. Leona was on duty.
Leona listened intently to Qui-Gon, "This is a good sign Qui-Gon. We can't let Obi-Wan stop now. Not when he is making progress. He is going to want to quit, but we can't let him."
Qui-Gon nodded, "I will not let him quit, but I have a feeling he will not be happy with me."
Leona agreed, "No, he probably won't be. But Qui, you need to be a parent right now. And sometimes, children do not like the decisions that a parent makes, even if it is for their own good."
Qui-Gon made a cup of tea and sat in the early dawn drinking it. He then went in to look at Obi-Wan. The boy was pale, and most likely exhausted. Qui-Gon almost considered letting him skip the morning therapy, but came to his senses. Sheltering the boy would not help him get well.
"Obi-Wan, it is time to get up."
Obi-Wan moved a bit, but gave no indication that he heard. In a voice that was a bit more stern, the Master said, "Obi-Wan, it is time to get up. You have therapy in less then an hour."
An insolent Obi-Wan replied, "I am not going. You can't make me! I can't believe you even want me to go, you know it hurts, you know its hard."
Qui-Gon fought to be calm, "I don't want to force you, Obi-Wan, but I will. I know it is painful, I know it is hard..."
Obi-Wan shouted, "You don't know ANYTHING! How can you know what I am going through?"
Qui-Gon then lost his temper, "I know because I am going through it as well! I may not be the one who can't walk, but I am the one who won't give up on you! Now GET UP and dressed."
Qui-Gon left the room and a very angry Obi-Wan behind him. Obi-Wan picked up the first thing that he saw and threw it. It was his river stone. It left an indentation in the wall, and skidded under the bed. Obi-Wan scoffed, "Fine, let it rot there."
Not much time passed before Obi-Wan came out of his room. He had on a wrinkled tunic and leggings, but Qui did not say anything except, "Breakfast is on the table. I have a meeting with the council. You are to go to therapy and then go outside for some fresh air."
Obi-Wan wanted to argue some more, but Qui-Gon did not let him. He turned on his heal and walked out of the apartment. Obi-Wan could not help but notice the worried look on his master's face or the tired look in his eyes. Obi-Wan knew his Master was up all night with him, and was exhausted. But Obi-Wan's anger won out, "Well, he should not make me go to therapy, maybe he does not care."
Obi-Wan skipped breakfast and left the apartment to go to therapy. As much as he did not want to go, he could not bring himself to disobey Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon's thoughts were wondering on the short walk to the council room. He was worried about Obi-Wan's mood swings. He wanted Nik-Ka to talk with him, but he knew that Obi-Wan would refuse. It was a delicate situation. One that Qui-Gon was at a loss to handle. It was amazing, the master could handle negotiations between warring planets. Could face space pirates without so much as flinching. But he could not reprimand his apprentice for acting like a brat.
Qui-Gon arrived at the council room and saw Darick leaving. Darick smiled at his friend, "Hello, Qui. How are you?"
Qui-Gon sighed, "Not well. It has been...hard."
Darick answered, "I can imagine. Bruck has been beside himself with worry. He still blames himself."
Qui-Gon nodded, "I know, but it was not his fault. He needs to realize that."
"I am hoping to get through to him, maybe on this mission."
Qui-Gon turned curious, "A mission? To where?"
Darick looked at his data pad, "Thanills. Hmmm, seems they are developing a chemical weapon and the council wants us to check it out."
Qui-Gon asked, "When do you leave."
Darick answered, "Soon after the lightsaber championship. I have a feeling Bruck is not going to be happy with the timing. But we have to go."
Qui-Gon replied, "I feel Obi-Wan too will be disappointed. It seems that Bruck is the only one Obi-Wan can tolerate."
Darick looked at his friend's tired face, "Qui, he is going to get better. You just have to be patient."
Qui-Gon rubbed his eyes, "My patience seems to be wearing thin these days."
Obi-Wan took the long way around to the healers, he did not want to see anyone. Luck was with him, and Obi-Wan arrived without seeing a soul. An-Paj looked up as the boy entered. He could tell just by the boy's body language, it was going to be a hard session.
"Good Morning, Obi-Wan. How are you today?"
Obi-Wan all but scowled, "As well as I can be considering I spent half the night in pain because every single nerve in my legs was screaming for attention."
An-Paj nodded, "Yes, your master said you had a rough night, but that is honestly a good sign. It means that your muscles are rejuvenating."
Obi-Wan looked at the healer, and in a tone that was not necessarily nasty, he asked, "You keep saying that Master An-Paj. But I don't know if I can believe it anymore. And I really don't want to do anymore therapy. It hurts and I HATE it!"
An-Paj studied the boy, and saw complete defeat in his eyes, "I know you dislike it Obi-Wan, but I have told you before, you have to do it. Now come here."
Obi-Wan let out a long suffering sigh and maneuvered his hover chair over to where the Master healer was. He had to admit that he was curious at what the strange apparatus was before him. It was two bars, side by side, separated by maybe two standard feet. Soft mats padded the floor between the bars. He looked at An-Paj and the healer said, "You are going to place hands on each bar and pull yourself up."
Obi-Wan looked at An-Paj as if he just grown a second head, "You've can't be serious. How am I suppose to do that?"
An-Paj sighed, "Well, you put one hand here, the other here, and pull yourself up."
Obi-Wan grew angry, "That is not what I mean! And you know it! You know I can't do this! WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME?"
An-Paj looked at the apprentice, "Listen, Obi-Wan. I am making you because you can do it. If you could not, I would not be wasting my time. Now you are going to do this, if you have to stay here all day." An-Paj watched Obi-Wan fold his arms defiantly across his chest, "Now let me ask you, are you going to do this the easy way or the hard way?"
Obi-Wan answered, "Fine, make my life miserable!"
An-Paj almost smirked, "The only one making your life miserable is you. Along with everyone else's life while you are at it."
Obi-Wan made a face and pulled his hands in the proper spot. He pulled himself up and for the first time since the injury, he was standing.
An-Paj smiled with approval, "Very good. Now start moving down the bars."
Obi-Wan gasped, "I...I can't. It's too hard."
An-Paj replied, "You can do it. I know you can."
Obi-Wan shot the healer a sharp look and started to move himself down the bars , willing his legs to work.
