Note: I do not own Love Hina or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

Naru has brutality. Keitaro has invulnerability. I have a list of ways they can use their abilities productively.


GYRAX Presents…

Career Goers of Tomorrow



Use 1

It was a big game at some random stadium in Japan. It was a tie between the Volcanoes, a random team, and the Tsunamis, a random team with Naru and Keitaro at the lineup.

A voice can be heard from all over the stadium. "Next up is our most promising player, Naru Narusegawa!"

Before Naru walked out of the dugout, she looked back at the team's random coach. "Hey, Coach. I'm going to use my lucky bat, if you don't mind."

With that, Naru walked out of the dugout, and towards Keitaro.

The ronin stood still, with his arms stiff, and his right hand overlapping his left. He had a grim look on his face. "Why did I agree to do this?"

Without missing a beat, Naru responded. "Because I'm giving you half my salary." She picked Keitaro up by his ankles and dragged him to home plate.

When the random pitcher saw what was in front of him, he was a mix of shocked and confused. Naru was holding Keitaro up like he was a baseball bat. Then he noticed a Post-It™ note on Keitaro's baseball helmet. It said "Hi! I'm Naru Narusegawa's lucky bat. Don't mind me. Just pitch, dammit! –Keitaro Urashima".

He decided to go for it and pitched. Naru responded with one good swing and…

SMACK! Keitaro's forehead was nice and hard enough to send the ball flying out of the ballpark, as well as the earth's gravitational pull.

And a random player at the dugout said out loud "I swear to God, she's not on steroids."


Use 2

Gazth-Sonika is a country torn apart in civil war.

A jeep drives over a dirt path. Sitting in the back were Privates Naru Narusegawa and Keitaro Urashima.

The jeep stops in its tracks, and the sergeant driving it turns to Naru and Keitaro.

"What's going on?" Keitaro asked.

"Just in case you forgot, I'll reiterate your mission objective." He turns to Naru. "Narusegawa. You light your boyfriend on fire. Then you are to throw him about 4 kilometers straight ahead. If your aim is good enough, he should hit a Galza weapons depot, resulting in its complete destruction. Should you succeed, we'll land a crippling blow to the rebel army."

"Now wait a second, here!" Keitaro interjected. "Can't we just reconsider?"

Naru take out a lighter and sets Keitaro ablaze! "Don't breathe, Keitaro. Your lungs will catch fire."

Keitaro was burning bright like a campfire. The sergeant looked at the flaming ronin. "Remember. You're burning alive in the name of our most noble leader, Korslan IV."

Keitaro thought sarcastically, Wow. That makes me feel a whole lot better.

With one mighty toss, Naru launched Keitaro into the sky. Her aim was dead on as he flew through a window on the Galza weapons depot. It only had to take a few seconds until…

BOOOOOOOOOOM! There goes the weapons depot. The explosion catapulted Keitaro into the sky. The good news is that Keitaro is no longer on fire.

Before Madlax was going to partake in some random mission, she paused and saw the ronin flying across the jungle. A moment of silence ensues. "I think I'll have shrimp fettuccine for dinner." Pause. "Yeah. I'll have shrimp fettuccine for dinner."


Use 3

The arch bridge Naru and Keitaro were standing on top of was really high up. Keitaro was tied to a bungee cable, as both of them stood at the edge of the bridge.

Naru turns to Keitaro. "You ready for this?"

"No! What the hell were you thinking when you enlisted me as a 'Bungee Cord Dummy'?"

"You're used to it." She turns to her left and sees a random bungee cord tester. "All right, Ed! We're ready!"

"No, we're not!" Naru booted the ronin off the bridge. Now he was screaming his head off. "UUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I already said he was screaming his head off, dammit! Anyway, just as he was closing in on the ground below, the bungee cord tied to him began to stretch. He looked up with glee. "LOOK, NARU! THE CORD IS ACTUALLY…"

SLAM! He left a mighty big impression on the ground, too… like Wile E. Coyote.

Naru looked at the sight below and turned to the random bungee cord tester. "Alright, Ed! Shorten it up a bit!"

Keitaro was now being raised from the ground, and needless to say, he was in a lot of pain. "Ow! Dammit! That hurt! Stupid bungee cord!"


Use 4

"Hi, Seta." Keitaro said, approaching him. Apparently, they were in another excavation of some kind. This time, they're in the U.K.

"I heard of a civilization that used to be ran by man-eating bunny rabbits here in England, so I went to investigate." Seta was digging a tunnel underground.

"Man-eating rabbits? Why does that sound familiar?" The ronin asked himself.

"I was going to ask the same thing." Seta replied.

"By the way, I got us some assistance." Keitaro said. He looked behind him. "Hey, Naru! We're down here!"

You see Naru walk down the tunnel with a hard hat on her head. "I'm here." She approached the tunnel.

"What's Naru doing here?" Seta asked his apprentice.

"Well, she just got her digger's license. This is her first assignment." Keitaro responded.

"Here right?" Naru asked, pointing where the tunnel ended.

"Yep." The ronin replied.

Naru winds up and punched the dirt wall where the tunnel ended and a cloud of dust covered the entire excavation.

A minute passes and the dust finally settles. When it does, you see an extra few hundred meters of tunnel, and Naru standing at what looked like an ancient door at the end.

Needless to say, Seta was impressed. "That's a neat trick, Naru."

"Thanks." She replied. She looks at the ancient door. "So this is supposed to be…"

CRASH! A pile of dirt falls on Naru, burying her alive.

"Holy crap!" Keitaro quickly runs to Naru, with Seta following. They, too end up buried under a pile of dirt.

All Keitaro said afterwards was, "Wow. This sucks."


Use 5

Los Angeles, California.

It was 1900 hours; 3 hours after a hostage situation began. A group of four armed suspects were holding a supermarket full of people hostage; they were armed and dangerous. Their demand was $100,000 and a gift certificate to Circuit City for each of them.

The LAPD's local SWAT Team was preparing for to raid the supermarket and proceed with rescuing the hostages. Among this team were officers Naru Narusegawa and Keitaro Urashima. The team approached the supermarket with utmost caution. Then the team leader threw a teargas grenade into the supermarket, with another SWAT officer motioning his left hand to storm the place. Naru held Keitaro in front of her like a human shield as she followed the rest of the team in.

There was gunfire everywhere; bullets were deflecting off Keitaro's skin. "OUCH! THOSE BULLETS HURT, DAMMIT!"

By the time the smoke cleared, Naru and Keitaro had their MP5 sub-machine guns at the suspects. Upon a closer look, they find out the suspects already got away, and these were straw dummies with pictures of their faces on them.

"I feel silly." Naru replied.

The good news was that all the hostages were rescued. Three weeks later, the very same suspects were pulling off another supermarket takeover, but were apprehended at the crime scene.

End Career Goers of Tomorrow

I hope you enjoyed this piece of creativity. Now go and review!

-GYRAX