I understand, little Ginny. How are you? I'm concerned about you…. Over and over his words rang through my mind. They were like poison. I wanted to block them out of my mind. But they kept coming. I wanted to throw them up. But I couldn't. He was more powerful then me. His will was more important. She felt the cold breath against, cold fingers touching her neck, she could feel it sucking her energy her life out of her. No air could come in or come out. She was going to die for a purpose, her life was worthless, but in his hands it could be something more….
Ginny woke up sweating. It was just a dream. She told herself. Nothing important. But it was real in her memories. It felt like it happened just moments ago. Voldermort was already defeated. But why? Why did this kept coming at her. She stood up. She felt like something was shaking her from side to side. She ran out of her dormitory, close to the fire place.
"The coldness won't touch me here." She mumbled under her breath, as her hands got closer to the warmness of fire. Ginny wished the sunrise would soon come. These memories only bothered her at night, where she had nothing to distract herself with.
She wanted to have Harry but he was out of her reach. She wanted to be popular, to be an excellent Quiditch player. She wanted to have fame and glory. Maybe Harry was a road to her desires? Maybe her obsession with Harry was just her selfish desire.
She wanted to have all the happiness all the friends, all for herself. To do something that would be special, that would be better then what her brothers done before her. She was a prefect yes, but that was not enough for her. She was Chaser on Gryffindor Quiditch team, but it didn't satisfy her. Ginny kept hungering for something, she did not understand. Nothing would satisfy her. She wanted to have John all to her. She cared for John. She loved him as a brother; that's why she didn't want him to love her. She would only hurt him. And now Dean. Why did I continue going with him? It could have been forgotten. I'm running from my feelings.
It feels like nobody can understand what I went through when Voldemort had me. I opened the chamber of secrets, I was responsible for those students almost dieing. If only I had enough courage to tare the diary apart. If only. .. It was my fault. It's always my fault. I couldn't stop Malfoy picking on my brother or on me. I couldn't stop Malfoy from getting so many into trouble, if only I could be more... She lost her words. She just wanted to clear her mind out of words. Words kept coming to her, and each and every one of them fell into mass, a pool of dirt, where everything was a disaster. She cleared her mind, trying to concentrate on the noise she heard outside, just not to think anymore. It was a quite night. She heard an owl hoot a few times, and then it went to silence, only fire kept cracking in the fire place. She opened her eyes. Nothing can hurt you Ginny, she told herself. Then she went back to bed. But she kept lying there, unable to fall asleep, later she drifted into sleep without any dreams. But she soon awoke at the sign of first rays of sun.
There was no use of going back to sleep. But it felt so good just to be laying here in bed. How did her body move on her every will and desire? Can I fly up like this, without a broom? She imagined herself lifting up. Then again, she grunted, pulling herself together, and forcing herself to get up. She went through her morning routine automatically, but one thing was weird, Cathy, a girl from her dormitory was missing from her bed.
Maybe she'll find in that treasure chest her satisfaction? Oh then she remembered last night, and decided to check room of Requirement. She walked out into the halls of Hogwarts. It was so quite, but somehow the silence was tense. She thought about walking around Hogwwarts Castle more often while everyone else was asleep. Ginny liked walking alone. There was nobody to bother her. Sometimes she wanted to be part of the crowd, but when she became part of the crowd, all she wanted was to be alone. As she reached room of requirement. She looked around herself making sure nobody was there, when a door smacked her.
"Sorry Ginny, are you okey?" Dean asked, exiting Room of Requirement. Ginny looked at him.
"Ouch. Do you know how painful that it!"
"So what are you doing here so early in the morning?"
"You know the answer yourself perfectly well."
"Just by the way there is a big party inside. Dean opened door, showing her inside. Slytherin and Gryffindor students stood arguing about something. Apparently Slytherin wouldn't give Gryffindor the paper with the next clue. She wasn't in the mood for this, so she carefully snuck inside, under all the shouting, trying to seem as unnoticeable as possible. Big banner was hanging down. It said.
"Only lighted by the setting sun. It shall tell you where the next clue is found." It was easy to memorize. And now Ginny tried to sneak out. Extra banner in Slytherin and Gryffindor hands seemed about to rip, when all of a sudden Gryffindor students started shouting curses at Slytherin. Ginny quickly ran out, happy to get the next clue.
Now where could this place be? The clue didn't really tell her anything important; accept it was written in gold. Did it have something to do with it?
Dean now was seating in great hall enjoying his breakfast with his friend Seamus. He watched as professors made a magic board with all the names of students who were disqualified out of special event so far. They couldn't claim the price. Harry Potter, Hermione Grander and Ron Weasley were the first ones up there. The most student that were disqualified were mainly from Gryffindor and Slytherin. He made himself a notice, that students out of today's fight were all disqualified. Though none of Ravenclaw students were disqualified, Dean noticed.
But what bothered him was Ginny. When he met her earlier, she seemed different. She wasn't the kind of person to get mad for someone accidentally smashing her face with a door on accident was she? Was she pissed of about something? Was she mad at him? But he couldn't find a reason, unless it was something he had no control about. But still Dean wanted to know what it was all about. But classes would start soon, in about one hour and a half. He still could go for a walk. In fact he noticed, lots of students were up early today. But it didn't bother him at all, so he went back to his breakfast, trying to get out of the most.
wow the 6th chapter! oOpe you've enjoyed it
I wanna finish this story, before next harry potter book comes out, and that will happen pretty soon. YAY!
