Stopping the Possible.
Authors note: For those who wonder about how Kim ended up in a Harem outfit, and Rufus almost got eaten, this is a common theme in Farscape-- the heroes escape from some terrible situation...which is never actually seen because it was resolved before the episode began!
"Are you certain, John?" Aeryn said.
"Yep, that was 100 percent guaranteed, English."
"Then how the Hazmata did they get here?" Rygel asked. The Hinerian frowned. "don't tell me there's another wormhole capable human around? One is quite enough!"
"I don't believe so." Aeryn said. "They were in a Marauder—and the markings on the ship…John, it was from Scorpius' Command Carrier."
"Great…what is Scorpy up to now?" John mused. They'd just escaped from the Scarran's, and John had thought that Scorpy would also be someone they'd escaped from…but now this.
"It does indicate that the humans have no knowledge of Wormhole technology." A voice came over the intercom, with Pilot appearing in the viewer. "Else, why would Scorpius' allow them to escape?"
"Not escape." John said, "Hunt…for me."
"What?" Aeryn said. "What are you talking about."
"Oh Come on!" John said, getting the crazed look in his eye that had been so common over the last four years. "Think about it—they're kids… first planet they landed on, they managed to piss off Ms. Mary Sleestak!" He frowned, "It took us four years to build up to that point."
"True… so you're saying all humans are idiots…but they are overachieving idiots?" Rygel asked.
"No Sparkie, I'm saying that he sent them out as stalking horses. He had to know we were somewhere in the area, and now we know about them… and he's banking on the fact that we won't let them die."
"Easy solution." The Hynerian said, "We let them die…or get sold as experimental animals to the Scarrans."
"No, Sparky." John said, pulling his food away from him, "We get them and keep them safe."
"Safe." Aeryn said, "This would be the…safe that we experience? Being hunted by the entire galaxy, strapping bombs to our selves, and nearly dying every other week?"
"Right!" He said. Aeryn sighed. Then the door opened, and two other members of the crew entered, Ka D'Argo and Chianna.
"I heard the conversation John." The warrior said, "but you may be missing something."
"What, Heavy D?"
"They may not be human—Scorpius has your neural clone recording—he could certainly train some Peacekeeper youth in English…and then release them for exactly this purpose."
"Or they could be some kind of shapechanging frellniks." Chiana said. "The boy doesn't look half bad, though."
"Pip!" Crichton said. "We are not bringing another boyfriend on this ship!"
"Why?" Chiana pouted.
"Because every other individual you rescue tries to kill us or suck out our personalities." Rygal said. "Find your own hotel." Crichton shook his head and forestalled the certain (and loud) argument.
"Look—we swoop in, make a quick check and then swoop out. Moya keeps starburst on tap, and if anything, I mean anything, looks bad, we leave. End of problem." He looked at them, and realized his companions had that look on their faces.
"What?"
"We're waiting for what to do when that plan falls apart." Aeryn said unsympathetically.
"So what do we do now, KP?"
"I don't know Ron." Kim said. The last planet they had been on had resulted in Rufus almost being eaten as a delicacy, and Kim nearly being sold as an intergalactic concubine. Ron had saved the day, but then more Scarrans showed up, this time in a great big battleship.
"Score—planets two, intrepid heroes, zero." Ron supplied. Kim glared. Ron subsided—her natural Kimness didn't like losing…and they'd seen a lot of that lately. Also the fact that she hadn't had a chance to change and was still wearing the little pink harem girl number… In fact she looked…
Down boy! Ron fixed his attention on the readouts. Behind him, he heard the sound of Kim changing, this time back into her Peacekeeper uniform, as her earth clothes were back in a smoldering ruin of a former prison.
"Well, we could—" The console started beeping. Ron blinked, and then blinked again. It couldn't be, but…
"Kim!"
"What!"
"It's, it's Moya!" Ron said, "See the readout—that's exactly like the one in the computer!" Kim stuck her head and torso up to see, and Ron almost crashed the ship. Kim hadn't put her shirt on yet.
"Yes!" Kim said, looking at it. "Finally."
"Ah, um… KP?" Kim looked down, realized she was topless, and a slow red started suffusing her face…and kept traveling down. Then she was back in the rear frantically putting her top on.
Moya's command deck.
"It's definitely a Marauder, Commander." Pilot said.
"Pilot—what is the status of its weapons?" D'Argo asked. Pilot checked, blinked and checked again.
"Ka D'Argo…it's weapons appear to be nonfunctional."
"That's impossible," Aeryn said, "No Marauder would be unarmed in this section of space."
"That is true, Aeryn Sun." Pilot said, "But Moya's sensors are conclusive… The weapons are not active." John looked over at Aeryn, and got a nasty suspicion.
"Pilot—can you tell if the crew could tell that?"
"Possibly not from the inside." Pilot responded.
"John, any Peacekeeper flight crew knows enough to see if their weapons are working!" John shot a look at her.
"Right, any Peacekeeper crew." John said, and got a furious look on his face. "That Son of a Bitch! He set them up! He set them up to set us up. Pilot! Go on an intercept course, and bring them on board with the docking web—be ready to go to starburst the minute we are ready!"
"Understood commander…. But the Marauder has changed course as well…contact in 1/20th of an Arn."
"OK people, it's show time—Aeryn, you and I are in the hanger, Heavy D, you're with us, but stay out of sight—remember, these people probably haven't seen too many aliens, and I don't want to freak them."
"Right Ron." Kim said. "Remember, Mr. Crichton may be brainwashed."
"So we're…"
"You put the Marauder in front of the ship so they can't, ah, starburst." Kim grinned, "And I'll go inside and convince him to come with us. Remember, they don't have any guns on the outside, so you'll be safe."
"What about you, KP?" Ron said, "They may have guns on the inside."
'Uh-huh!" Rufus agreed.
"No big… I'll just avoid them." Kim said confidently, as she buttoned the spacesuit up.
Last time you said that you almost ended up in a Harem…
"Marauder is on final approach, Commander."
"Give me coms, Pilot."
Before John could say anything though, a voice came over the coms.
"This is Star Commander Ron—surrender or be destroyed!"
"Human, definitely." Ka D'Argo immediately agreed.
"How about you come on board and we talk about it." John said.
"Right…" Ron drawled, and powered up the fighter's weapons. He'd just put a shot across their bow and…
nothing happened.
He pulled the trigger again.
Nothing.
Ron forgot that the coms were still open.
"Oh he gave us a plane with no guns?! That is SICK AND WRONG!" John grinned.
"OK, Pilot, reel him in."
"Docking web extended…."
But even as the web was extended, another figure that had separated from the Marauder before the first communication, fired her grapple gun and reeled herself in to a certain part of the hull—one with hatches that she could cut through. Kim Possible was on the job.
As the Marauder moved into the hanger bay, John waited. If they were humans, they had to know at least a little about what had happened, given the amount of publicity their visit had gotten.
But if so why did they seem so naive? Why not simply show up, say "Hi, nice to see you?"
"Are you ready, John?" Aeryn said. John looked over and blinked. Aeryn had her heavy Peacekeeper cannon at the ready, with D'argo holding his Quilta blade.
"We really don't need that, Aeryn, Big D."
"Yes, we do—until we are certain that they are what they say." D'argo said. "And even then—we can't be certain Scorpius isn't controlling them." He paused, "Pilot, are you ready?"
"The craft is in the hanger, Ka D'Argo."
"Let's go."
To be continued.
