A Mile in Your Shoes

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my charas I make up and this plot.

Chapter 1 – What the HFIL Is Going On Here!

"Hey, Big V."

"Hey, Hot Red."

"Is the dealership open for test drive?"

"I don't know. Do you have the proper identification?"

"I need to check my purse to find out."

"No need. I'm sucker for the pretty ones."

"You need to catch me first." She mock-ran around the room until he enveloped her in an instant in his muscular well-toned arms. His breath was warm as he whispered right by her ear.

"That was too easy, H.R. Where's the chase?"

"Aw, no fair. I didn't get enough."

"Too bad. Now we can go on that test drive." Bra burst through the door right as they were about to kiss.

"Mom! Dad! Can stop the sex talk for a minute? Someone needs to take me to the mall!"

"Get Trunks to take you!" Vegeta was all but livid at being interrupted during "playtime."

"Why does she have to barge in like that every time? Every time it starts getting good during the day, she waltzes in here like we're not doing it. Why if she wasn't my daughter, I'd—"

"Now just calm down, Vegeta. It's nothing to get worked up over."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"Just remember: goozfraba."

"Goozfraba…"

"Goozfraba. I'll see if I can install a special lock on the door this week."

"I love you."

"I love you too… Big V." They locked lips just as Bra burst through the door again.

"Mom! Trunks said he won't take me!"

"Then tell him he's grounded if he doesn't!

Goku crouched low beside the dresser in darkness so as not to be seen. He remained perfectly still until he saw the figure clad in pink lingerie approach and made his move. Ah, the prey moves.

"Hi ya!"

"Ahhh!" He jumped onto his wife, knocking them both onto the bed and taking her completely by surprise. "Goku, what are you doing?"

"C'mon, Chichi. Let's do it."

"We shall do nothing of the sort."

"But, Chi—"

"No." Devastated, Goku rolled over and slumped onto the bed. Feeling guilty, she tried to touch him but he recoiled as though she were a vile thing. Oh, Goku. If only I could… but it's not that simple anymore.

Goku pondered this as well. Why won't she let me love her? I've tried everything and nothing's worked. I'm at the end of my rope. I feel like giving up.

He glanced down at his wife, still beautiful to him after all these years. No, I can't give up. I must try one more time. One more time

His last thoughts as he drifted off to sleep.

Far, far away someone chuckled throatily and smirked to the inky darkness. "Time to have a little fun."

Chichi stirred sleepily, feeling the sunlight on her face and all too unwilling to leave the warm bed. She turned over and rolled off the bed, groaning with the effort as she attempted to stand. She walked toward what she thought was the bedroom door and went crashing into a wall. Hmm. That's funny. I could have sworn the door was right there. I'm probably just working too hard.

She walked out and walked down some stairs hoping to be in the kitchen but was instead in some other strange room. She walked back and tried the other stairs. That didn't lead to the kitchen either. Now that's just plain odd. I never knew our house was so big.

After about five more tries she finally reached the kitchen. Grabbing a pot she turned on the stove and grabbed all the necessary ingredients began making breakfast. The mouth-watering aromas soon drew the attention of the rest of the family.

Before long, she saw the kids sitting at the table. I wonder why Gohan and Goten were so late for breakfast. Usually they're waking me up to cook. Gohan's probably exhausted from midterms and Goten probably trained just a little too long yesterday.

Then she noticed that Gohan's hair was purple and Goten looked surprisingly like a girl. Now that's strange too. When did Gohan dye his hair? And did Goku let him do that? I told him not to allow that sort of thing with him.

"Gohan. Who gave you permission to dye your hair? I told your father not to let you do anything crazy like this."

"Uh, Mom, what are you talking about?" Until then, Trunks had been surprised at his mother actually cooking and doing well at it that he didn't want to spoil a good thing and say something about it.

"Just what I said. And furthermore—" She was silenced when 'Goku' walked up and kissed her.

"Honey," he said, "when did you start cooking again?" What on Earth is Goku talking about?

"What do you mean? I always cook breakfast, Goku." Vegeta stopped.

"What did you just call me?"

"Goku. That's your name."

"The hell it is. Why are you calling me Goku? Has something happened that I should know about?."

"Yeah, we're married."

"What do you mean 'we're married'? Of course we're married but what in Kami's name does that have to do with Goku?"

"You're a funny one to talk, Goku."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Then what would you like me to call you? And when did you get short? And why do you look like… Oh my…"

The realization hit her and she screamed.

---------------

Bulma was sitting on the edge of the bed by the time her husband stirred. She watched as he shifted under the covers. She stealthily approached the hulking hottie with a grin as he rolled out of bed and…

"Ah!" She jumped on top of him.

"I've got you now, V. So what are you gonna do about it?" She covered his eyes.

"V? Who's V?"

"Oh, c'mon, Vegeta, you can only pull that trick once."

"Vegeta? What would Vegeta be doing in our bedroom?" She started pulling off the covers.

"V. I told you. You can only pull that one—Ahhhhhhhhhh!" She unveiled her husband to be… not Vegeta.

"Goku, what the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"Chi, we're still married. Where else do you want me to sleep?" Chi! We! Married! Oh my gosh…

It dawned on her then but she had to see if she was right. Oh, Kami, please let this be the one time I'm wrong.

She ran toward the bathroom, looked in the mirror and screamed bloody murder.

"Chichi, just calm down and we'll—" Bulma backed away slowly from the mirror, taking very small steps, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Chichi!" Oh, Kami…

"Honey, we've been over this before. That's your name."

"No. No! "

Oh, Kami, it can't be. There's just no way I became Chichi and… wait! If I'm in her body, then who's in my… that's it.

"That's it!"

"What's it?"

"She has to be!"

"Who has to be?"

"That's not important! Get your clothes on, honey. We're going out to eat today." Bulma gestured wildly and started rummaging through the closet for something to wear. Goku stood there for a moment until snapping to attention and grabbing his gi, greatly puzzled but accepting. Oh, man. Does Chichi have anything flattering to wear?

"Okay, but what about the kids?

"The what?"

"The—"

"Kids! Right. Yeah. Let's bring them too."

"…okay."

"Kids!" Two crashes and stomping issued forth before the door burst open and in came the kids. Goten was the first to respond.

"Hey, Mommy, where's breakfast?"

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. We're going out to eat today."

"Cool. Where we going? Where we going?"

"We're going to Bulma's house."

"Yay! I like going to Bulma's house. I get to play with Trunks."

"We are?" said Goku.

"Yes. We are."

"Oh. Oh!" Goku really needs to sharpen up a bit more. And here I thought he was a morning person.

"Right. Now, get your clothes on and let's go." Wait! I better call the house first. Who knows what kind of chaos could be occurring at home?

"Honey, where's the phone?"

"Downstairs." Great. Now I can talk in private with V.

Grabbing a dress that looked decent enough, she yanked it over her head while running down the stairs and combed her hair—a talent perfected by years of escaping when cops decided to crash some good parties.

Goku watched as his wife or at least the woman he thought was his wife run out the room leaving him half-dressed to explain to the boys. Better get to it then…

"Boys," he began, "your mother's not quite herself today. So get dressed and just try to be patient with her today and hopefully we can all laugh about this later. "

Goten once again spoke first. "Will Mommy be okay later or tomorrow?"

"I really hope so, Goten. I really, really hope so."

Downstairs, Bulma tried desperately to call home but to no avail.

Dammit all to hell! I can't reach anybody! I've tried Bra's cell, Trunks' cell, Vegeta's cell, Mom and Dad's cell, my cell, home phone… and I get no one. Why is everyone still in bed? It's almost 10 o'clock for Pete's sakes! What the hell are they doing sleeping in like this?

AN: Bulma and Vegeta had a few drinks last night so Chichi in Bulma's body that partied is not that perceptive in the morning thus the slow realization.

A lot people have asked me where the humor is in this and I'm getting there so hang it there. Next chapter we get to hear from the grand conductor of this charade: King Yemma! So hang tight and keep your fingers crossed I'm a little busy in summer school next week so I'm trying to get this next chapter out tomorrow.

I've been meaning to explain the ages. I'm making Trunks and Gohan about the same age (16/17-ish), Bra is about 14, and Goten is 7-ish. So Bra is herself. Trunks and Gohan hang out and attend the same school. And Trunks is more of the older brother-type to Goten but is more patient with him than Gohan.