Angel ran from the Wolfram and Hart building, glad that he had decided to wear black trousers and a sweater rather than a suit to work that day. He wasn't concentrating on where he was going he just knew that he needed to breathe. He needed to get as far away from everyone and everything and just breathe. He could feel the walls pushing in on him and he felt totally out of control and more alone than he had ever been in his life. He had lost everything that had once given his life meaning and he had no way of getting it back.

Feeling hemmed in by the buildings on either side of him and trapped by the cars that passed him by he decided that he needed to get higher. He sprung up the side of a building, scaling it effortlessly and so quickly that no one on the ground would have seen him. He hopped from window ledge to window ledge and found hand holds in impossible places. Once on the roof he felt the pressure ease but not enough. He began to run again. He picked up speed and leapt from the roof to a window across the narrow alley way. Again he climbed up the wall, using the drainpipe for leverage and vaulted on to the roof. This roof was higher and made him feel freer but he could see a taller building a few buildings away.

He needed to see the stars.

Once Angel had reached his destination, the tightening in his chest seemed to ease. He moved to the ledge and perched on it looking over the city that he had sworn to protect. He saw thousands of tiny lights, all colours of the rainbow, glowing happily in the dark and he hated it. It wasn't worth it. He had given up so much, lost so much for people that didn't know and who most likely didn't care. Even those that did know hardly ever thought on it and people that should know better refused to believe it. For the first time since starting at Wolfram and Hart Angel actually doubted himself. He could see that they all assumed he went there for the wealth; that he sold out. They didn't question the fact that he had given them the resources they had needed to close the Hellmouth. They didn't realise that he had siphoned money from Wolfram and Hart into the Watcher's Council accounts so that they had something to live on. That didn't even occur to him at that point. He had been brought so low by the opinions of others, his nightmares telling him he was a failure and now the visions. Had he thought about it they should have told him that the Powers were still on his side, but he saw it as another attack.

Another way to break him.

He wished that he could be Angelus. He had feared nothing, not even Hell. He had refused to give up there and he hadn't let Angel give up either. Life without a soul was easier – there were no shades of grey, just black and white, good and evil and you didn't really care what side you were on. Angelus could have easily fought for good had he wanted to. It just wasn't as much fun. Angel's soul stopped him from going to the dark side purely because of the people that he cared for. If they weren't there, if the memory of Cordelia, Doyle, Connor and even Darla didn't haunt him, then he would have given up long ago.

And now he was back.

Gabriel.

Angel hadn't thought on that name in over two hundred years, he couldn't afford to.

He had met Gabriel when he was still a fledge, before he was truly Angelus. Sure he had murdered his entire village but that was a reaction to the way he had been treated when he was alive. It was a reaction to his father's beatings and depreciative attitude. It was retaliation for what Donal had done to him. It was a consequence of suddenly having the power that you had never had in life. Once he had gotten away from Galway, he had calmed down. He had enjoyed the killing like any other vampire, he had excelled at it; but the violence and the mindless destruction came after his time with Gabriel.

After they had gotten him back.

He was seven years old and Darla had been summoned to Vienna to see the Master. He decided that he wanted to go to Paris. He loved the art of the place. He wanted to spend his time wandering through the vibrant Paris streets and soaking in the beauty of the place. Sure it was as squalid as any city at the time, but he had still found beauty there and wanted to again. So he had parted company with Darla and gone to Paris promising to meet her in Rome in two months.

For the first week he had merely wandered around the city. It was so big to him. He was as sure and cocky as he had been in life but he was in awe of the huge city, the rumblings of the coming revolution exciting him. He hunted and fed but mostly he revelled in the freedom that he had. He didn't want to go back to the Order or to Darla; he found it almost as oppressive as he had found his human life. He just needed to find a way out.

What he didn't know was that he had caught the attention of an older vampire.

Gabriel was 264 when he met Angelus and had yet to truly sire a childe. He hadn't found anyone worthy to keep. He was a member of the Order of Dagon, supposedly the direct descendants of the very first Vampire. They were the elite of all vampire society, and Gabriel was the youngest of their Order but he was still immensely powerful. They all were. He had spotted the young carefree vampire the night that he had arrived in Paris and had been disappointed to learn that he was a Childe. Had he been a mere minion he'd have taken him there and then, but there was politics in him being a Childe. He'd followed him every night since then, content to watch the boy revel in his passion for life. He hadn't intended to reveal himself so soon but when his boy had been set upon by a twelve strong group of minions he'd lost it. Each one of them had died quickly and he had scooped up the injured vampire and taken him to his loft.

Angelus hadn't left his side for a year after that. Gabriel had taught him everything. He had taken Angelus to every city that he had wanted to visit. Shown him every piece of art that he wished to see. Taught him how to fight, how to feed, how to speak six human languages and three demonic ones and more importantly… he showed him love. Affection had never been part of his life but Gabriel worshipped him. Promised him that he would take him away from the Order that he had told him he hated so often. He had been truly happy with Gabriel and Gabriel had been besotted with his new lover. He hadn't let him out of his sight.

And then he had gone, leaving Liam at the mercy of Darla and the Master and utterly heartbroken...

Now he was back and somewhere in the city.

Worst of all, they were planning to kill him. Even after 240 years the very idea of Gabriel being staked chilled his demon to the core. Angelus had been driven insane by the loss of Gabriel as sure as he had been by the loss of his soul. Angel dreaded to think what would happen now though. He knew that he couldn't kill Gabriel. He had killed Darla and Penn and set Dru alight, but he wouldn't be able to kill Gabriel. He had loved Gabriel with everything that had been left of Liam and now he had Liam's soul.

It's true that when the demon takes your body your soul leaves. It is also true that at the same time there is something left of that human you had been. There has to be – otherwise you wouldn't know anything about the life the body had led before. It's what kept vampires so grounded, what made them fascinated by humans; they needed to know where the difference between them lay. This was even more so for Childer as their Sire's had seen something that they had wanted in the human they had taken. The demon was refined within Master vampires, not the snarling animal that most turned vampires were. Losing Gabriel had meant losing that part. He had loved Gabriel, really and truly. Angelus never let himself love after that. He was too broken up. Now Angel was broken even more so, and he feared that this would destroy him.

So lost in his thoughts Angel didn't hear the dull thud of another body alighting on the roof. He didn't even smell the other vampire. He didn't notice anything until they spoke.

"Hello Angel."

Gabriel was still beautiful. Silky black hair and sharp green eyes and milky coffee skin. He was as elegant and graceful as a cat. He didn't walk as much as he seemed to glide towards Angel. He was as alluring and intoxicating as he had been when Angel had first seen him… When he had woken up on a feather bed and stared into eyes as green as Irish hills… He had lost himself in those hypnotic eyes and was doing so again. Gabriel stopped just before their bodies were touching but had they had need to breathe they would have been sharing each others air.

"You're still beautiful Petit."

His slight French accent stroked over Angel's face, followed by the soft pad of his thumb and Angel's eyelids fluttered closed without his permission. That voice always had weakened him.

"You killed the Slayers."

He needed to focus and not be taken back to that place. He couldn't do it again. He couldn't afford to lose himself in Gabriel, there was too much to risk.

"I did Mon Petit. I was trying to find you."

"Why?"

"Because Angel, you let another claim you. I saw you first, all those years ago; I would have had you then. But…"

"You left me."

He couldn't stop it. All the hurt that he felt when he had woken up to find Gabriel gone flooded back. No note, no message. He had waited for weeks, believing that Gabriel would return for him and he would take him from the Order that he hated. He had been so young and foolish then. Not even ten years old and yet it still hurt 240 years later.

"Non Mon Cher, I never left you. Not willingly. Your Sire and her's found us. He had told my Sire that I had stolen you from them and that I was holding you against your will. I was forced to leave you. I never wanted to Petit; I wouldn't even tell them where you were. I knew that you hated them and wanted you to have the time to escape them."

"You should have come back. I would have told your Sire."

"I know that Mon Ange but he wouldn't hear me. Then they found you again, and I couldn't follow."

Gabriel moved closer to him as if to press upon Angel the truth behind his words but Angel turned away. That feeling was back, that fluttering feeling in the pit of his stomach and he was a seven year old fledge in awe and in love with the dark and exotic vampire. Gabriel had almost broken through Angel's barriers but Angel couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let people die, he couldn't let Gabriel kill.

"So now what? Why have you come here now? To ruin my life again?"

"You make it sound as if I am ruining your happiness Petit, but I am not. I see it on your face. You've been claimed but not kept. He hasn't fulfilled his promises has he? He hurts you and he doesn't even know. I see it all over your face. Your heart cries out Cher, and I am the only one to hear it."

Seeing the truth of his words hit Angel like the force of a Mack truck he moved forward and pulled Angel into his arms. To his great age, Angel still felt like the fearful fledge that he had met all those years ago. He was well aware that Angel was more dangerous now, but Gabriel didn't fear him. He, what he had done had created the rage that created Angelus. But he had known Angel; he had had Angel, Liam, for a whole year. He had loved him for a whole year and been loved by him. That wasn't something that would ever change. He had taught the vampire that he held everything that Angelus had ever truly learned. Darla may have taught him cruelty but Gabriel had taught him about passion, pain, love and life. He had awoken the sensuality that had been destroyed in Liam by his father and Donal.

For a few moments they stood on the roof entwined as only lovers can be. Angel buried his head into the intimate hollow between Gabriel's chin and shoulder and inhaled the scent that had been home to him so long ago. He felt fingers caress his hair and lower back and fought the urge to purr and become a boneless mass of vampire. He felt safe; something that he had needed to feel for the past week and no one had been willing to give him. He felt as though nothing could touch him here, not even the Powers. Not his guilt or his past. He was truly safe.

"I can't do this."

He pulled himself away from Gabriel but a pair of strong arms trapped him and held him still. Gabriel stared into his eyes for what felt like eternity.

"You don't have to do anything Mon Ange. Let me look after you."

His voice was a seductive whisper that reeled Angel in. He found himself leaning into Gabriel's touch and a feather-light kiss brushed across his lips. It would have been so easy to take what was being offered but he couldn't. He pulled himself free and backed away, being close to Gabriel was too tempting.

"I can't. Please just go. They're hunting you and they'll kill you if they find you. Go, I won't say anything, just please leave."

Angel's voice was barely a whisper but the pain and despair in that voice was as loud as thunder. Gabriel felt his heart break and he wanted to rip into everything that had caused his boy pain. After all of these years, Angel was still his, always would be. Slowly, as if trying to calm a spooked animal, he moved towards Angel. He ran his fingers lightly over his face and spoke softly.

"I'm not going anywhere Petit. I can't leave you like this, so hurt, so scared. I promise though, they won't find me and I won't kill. I won't make it hard for you but I won't leave. I did that once before."

He brushed another kiss over Angel's lips and then backed away.

"If you need anything, Mon Cher, anything at all…"

He melted into the darkness leaving Angel alone on the roof, trembling. He told himself that it was just the cold but he knew that he was just lying – and not even doing a good ob at it.