I am so sorry for the delay in getting this out. I haven't forgotten, I've just had a lot of trouble writing this chapter. I will finish it, no matter what! Thank you so much for all those who have stuck with me for this long!
The fire was slowly dying, crackling in the fireplace, just illuminating the room enough for me to make out his face. I rested my head against his chest, my body and mind still racing from what had just happened. Even though my heart had dropped to it's normal pace, it still felt like my blood was rushing through me. If Nikolas was a drug, I had just had my fix.
He kept his arm wrapped around my shoulders, and his chin rested on my head. Every so often, just when I thought I was beginning to relax again, I felt his lips brush against my forehead, ever so gently, and my blood started rushing even faster. And despite all of what I was feeling, at the same time I felt calm and serene, like everything bad was finally gone, and this was the start of something new. A new chapter in my life- a new Paige. He brought his other arm and curled it around my waist. I slid one leg between his, and rested the right beside his leg, my ankle making the perfect imitation of his. I laid one arm on his shoulder, the other around his neck. We were as connected as I could possibly imagine.
"Do you need anything?" he asked, his head slowly moving down to face me. I felt his breath on my cheeks as he spoke. I shook my head, but couldn't manage any words.
He slowly pulled back, leaving my head resting on his arm, but face to face with him. He brought his arm up from my waist and brushed my hair back from my face.
"Are you cold?" I shook my head again. I felt the sudden overwhelming urge to cry. I was so confused. I buried my head against his neck, covering my face, and breathed him in. I wanted to remember the night, the moment, everything. I wasn't unhappy, but I still wanted to cry.
"I love you," he whispered.
I brought my head out from the crevice that I had pushed it into, and watched him for a minute, tracing his face, taking it all in. Finally, I managed to push everything out of the way, and found my voice.
"I love you too," I managed though the lump in my throat.
Neither of us said anything for a long time. I couldn't sleep, but I didn't want to talk either. Nikolas didn't seem to want to either. The wind outside had died, and the rain pattered gently against the window. Finally, as the sky seemed to get lighter, just before dawn, I found myself drifting off to sleep in his arms.
"I'll call you tonight," Nicholas promised as he turned into my driveway. He put the car into park and turned to me. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"
I sighed. I did want him to be there when I saw Dylan, more than anything in the world, but I knew it was something that I had to do on my own. "No, it's okay."
"Okay." He leaned in and kissed me softly. I still got tingly every time he kissed me. It was great.
"I'll talk to you tonight," I said when I caught my breath. "Bye."
"Bye." I stepped out of the car and he called me back.
"Yeah?"
He grinned. "I love you."
I grinned as well. "I love you too."
"Hi," Dylan said carefully when he came in that evening. He hadn't bothered to leave a note telling me where he was, but I figured he would have been home. Since I had so much nervous energy and I didn't want to do my homework, I had made spaghetti sauce and garlic bread.
"Hi," I managed back. Hold it together, I told myself.
We stared at each other for a minute, then both spoke at the same time.
"I made dinner."
"The food smells great."
I laughed, although it wasn't really funny. There was no doubt that Dylan was mad. I had fought with him, then up and left with Nicholas. The question was how mad was he.
I silently took out two plates and filled them with food, then set them on the table. Dylan had gone downstairs to get a couple of bottles of wine that my mom never drank, and poured two big glasses for us. I was surprised. It was like he was treating me as an equal.
"This should make dinner a little more pleasant," he explained. I nodded. I stared at the food in front of me, but I suddenly had no appetite.
"You remind me of mom," Dylan finally said, breaking the silence. "You remind me of her so much."
I tucked some stray hairs behind my ear. "Thank you."
"When I see you, I want to protect you because I was never able to protect mom. I couldn't save her from dad, and I couldn't save her from that accident."
"Dylan," I began, but he held up a hand to silence me.
"It was supposed to be me that night. She had asked me to pick up a couple of groceries on my way back, but I told her that I had to finish studying. Truth was, I had finished exams, and I was staying behind with this guy I was seeing. She shouldn't have been there that night. If anything, it should have been me. You're the only family I have left Paige. Don't you get that? I do want to protect you. And sometimes it can be annoying, I know. I really wasn't trying to hurt you when I got mad at Nathan or whatever his name is. I just wanted to make sure that you're safe."
I had no idea what to say. I had no idea that he had been carrying around all this guilt with him. "It's not your fault that she died."
He pushed his spaghetti around his place. "Are you happy with him?"
"Nicholas?"
"Yeah."
I took a deep breath. "I am."
He looked me right in the eye. "Then I'm happy for you. Just be careful, okay?"
I wasn't sure what he meant by be careful. With my heart, with sex, with being alone with him, or all of them?
"He's a good man," I assured him, finally taking a bite of my spaghetti.
"I'm glad. Because we both know that he's going to get hurt if he hurts you."
I giggled. It was good to have Dylan back.
I climbed the stairs to my room after dinner feeling stuffed and content. I managed to make my relationship with both Nicholas and Dylan. I dropped down on my bed, suddenly exhausted from the weekend, and heard a paper crumple beneath me. I reached under me and found an envelope from University of British Columbia.
My heart started pounding. I had forgotten about even applying. I had wanted to get out of Toronto so badly, and this seemed like the best option. Far, far away.
It was thin. Slowly I turned it over and ripped it open.
I got in.
I lied back down and basked in the relief of it all. I had gotten in. I could escape. I could make a new start, somewhere where no one knows me.
And then I started thinking. What about Nicholas?
Suddenly my simple getaway wasn't so simple.
