Ch.7

Blue Robes, No Baby Making

"Little Green Men...en...en...n." Birds took flight from the trees.

"What the hell?" Songo whispered to herself.

"What was that, Lady Crow?" Kala asked.

"Apparently, 'Little Green Men...' It's getting dark, let's make camp. MIROKU!"

"Yes, Lady Crow?" Miroku nearly died after the first two feet. They had been walking

for fifteen miles, about six hours of non-stop trudging, running, and jogging. Miroku placed everything on the ground, then sank to his knees.

"The amber tent is mine, purple is Songo's, green is Kala's, blue is Fala, And yellow is yours. After you set up the tents, you will fetch the fire wood."

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W.W.- "There weren't tents back then!"

B.B.- "So?"

W.W.- "Where'd they get the nylon?"

B.B.- "They used feathers from a large amber, purple, green, blue, white and yellow bird."

W.W.- "How big was the bird?" (W.W. hoped B.B. would screw up)

B.B.- "Twice as big as you with it's feathers, and half the size of you without feathers."

W.W.- "Ha! That can't be true!"

B.B.- "Yes it can, the bird has seven thousand feathers. A thousand in each color!"

W.W.- (mutters to self and walks away)

B.B.- "I...Win...HA!"

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Miroku set up camp while the girls all climbed into the litter with Songo.

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W.W.- (walks up to B.B., nerdy man behind her) "B.B., this is Mr. Bob, a zoologist specializing in birds. Tell her, Mr. Bob."

Mr. Bob- "As you know, there is no giant amber, purple, green, blue, white and yellow bird. Given the environment such a bird would need to thrive, it is concluded that since no such place exists, no such bird exists." (Looks to W.W.)

W.W.- "Yes, you can go now." (Nerdy man, I mean, Mr. Bob, shuffles away. W.W. turns to B.B.) "See? I win. I always win."

B.B.- "Grrrr..." (W.W. smiles)

W.W.- "Continue with your half of the story."

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B.B.- "I always get the last word! The bird is not in this time, it is in the feudal era. Ha! I win!"

W.W.- "Do I have to get the zoologist in here? Even I know that back then climate zones were much the same, so still no such bird could exist. Ha-Ha! I win!"

B.B.- "The Earth was closer to the sun! Hotter Earth, tropical climates, large amber, purple, green, blue, white and yellow birds. Ha, I win! Ha, ha, ha!"

W.W.- (very calmly) "No."

B.B.- " 'NO'? No what?" ( hands on hips, towering over W.W., red eyes glowing)

W.W.- "No."

B.B.- (grows fangs and glares at W.W.)

W.W.- "Still no."

B.B.- (lunges at W.W.) "Rawr! Die, Bitch!" (Starts chewing on W.W.'s head)

W.W.- (easily tosses her off walks away) "Now you'll never know."

B.B.- (chases after her, foaming at the mouth) "GET BACK HERE!"

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"So... Sango..." Kala looked from Songo to Tayallay. "Can you tell me...Where do babies come from?" Sango fell anime style.

"Umm... Lady Crow... Can you tell her?"

"No." Lady Crow said plainly. "I don't know either." Sango fell again, and slowly got up.

"Miroku!" Sango yelled. "When you're done... I need you!"

"What do you need him for?" Kala asked. Sango fell for the third time. Getting up, she rubbed her head. "I don't know how I'm going to tell you where babies come from."

"Why not?" Fala asked.

"Because..." Sango purposely spaced out so she didn't have to respond to the question.

"Sango?" Miroku snapped his fingers in front of her face. "Sango, come back to this era." Sango blinked twice. "Good, now: What did you need?"

"Oh? Yeah... Kala asked where babies come from." Sango wasn't quite in her own mind yet.

What about Lady Crow, she could help you..." Seeing the look on Sango's face, he said no more.

"No, she couldn't have." Sango said plainly. "She doesn't know either." Miroku fell anime style. "Hey, that was my reaction too!" Sango said in a cheery voice.

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W.W.- "NOOOOO! NOT THE TALK ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES! NOOO!"

B.B.- "It's ok, I'm not going to tell it in the story." (Turns to reader) "If you want to know where babies come from... ASK YOUR MOM!"

W.W.- "Whew... No birds and bees."

B.B.- "Bzz... Tweet tweet."

W.W.- "Grr..." (Eye twitches)

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"Eww...Gross... you did that!" Everyone, except Miroku and Sango, were huddled in the corner of the litter.

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Announcer Guy- "And, meanwhile, back at Inuyasha's camp..."

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"Gross... You did that! ...that...at...at...t." (Fading echo)

"What was that, Rorrim?" Shippo asked his new friend.

"I think someone, two days away, was screaming at someone you know, 'Gross! You did that!' she said, with uncanny accuracy. Her head tilted to the side and she scratched her head. "I wonder what they did..."

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"Well, yeah." Sango said.

"Gross! Gross, gross, gross, gross,grossgrossgross..." Lady Crow ran out of the litter screaming it over and over.

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Rorrim looked up and shook her head.

"Weird."

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Lady Crow walked into the litter, straightening her clothes. "Off to bed..." No one moved. "NOW!" She yelled.

"Yes, Lady Crow." Everyone said in unison.

Miroku started to walk towards Sango's purple tent. "MIROKU!" Lady Crow pointed to the yellow tent. Miroku changed directions meekly and walked into his YELLOW tent, hanging his head.

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In the middle of the night, Miroku couldn't sleep. 'I miss lying with Sango and Tay.' he thought. "Hmph." He grunted. "Lady Crow can't keep me from my wife."

"Miroku," it was Lady Crow. "Stop talking to yourself."

Miroku had an idea to make Sango laugh. "Hey...Sango." He said. When he heard her shift he continued, "Will you bear another of my children?" Just as he planned, she laughed and left her tent. What he wasn't expecting was the rest of the camp making a wall to stop her.

"Hey!" He heard Sango shout.

"We can't let you do THAT here." That was the old Crow. Miroku climbed out of his YELLOW tent.

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W.W.- "Why do you keep putting yellow in big letters?"

B.B.- "I want the reader to get that Miroku who is wearing BABY BLUE rat robes was in a YELLOW tent."

W.W.- (covers mouth so no one can read her lips) "She's gone crazy."

B.B.- "What was that?"

W.W.- "Nuthin!

B.B.- (snaps fingers.)

W.W.- (hears sirens) "What the Hell?" (Eyes grow wide as sirens get closer) "What did you do?"

B.B.- "I have the Happy Place on snap call."

W.W.- "NNNOOO!" (Runs away screaming)

B.B.- (laughs)

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"We weren't actually going to make another baby!" Miroku said plainly.

"Loeyla said it's too early to have another baby, or even make one." Sango said, rocking Tay in her arms. "Won't be for at least... four weeks before I can carry another baby. Even after that I won't want to for at least another year. Having a baby hurts like Hell!"

"Than why did he ask?" Lady Crow inquired.

"It's his little joke." Sango said. "He says it every night."

"I miss Sango and Tay lying with me... I guess you can say that I can't sleep without them."

"Oh..." Lady Crow felt about two inches tall. The wall relaxed, a little.

"Sango, I miss you." Miroku sighed and went back into his tent. Sango tried to run through the wall only to hit a bright orange barrier. She turned to find Lady Crow holding her hands out with orange flowing from her finger tips to merge with the wall. "I'm sorry, Sango, but a man and a woman in one tent is just as bad as you wearing red. It is just not allowed." Lady Crow looked truly sorry.

"I understand." Sango said reluctantly. "What about daughter and father?" Lady Crow thought for a second. "Please." Sango had never pleaded in her life.

"I think that will be fine."

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W.W.- "Zzzzzz..." (Curled up behind couch where she had hid from the 'Happy Men.' Happy Men had left.)

B.B.- (yells at the top of her lungs in W.W.'s ears) "GET THE FUCK UP!"

W.W.- (screams, jumps so high she slams into the ceiling, then clings to hanging lamp. Looks around, panicked)

B.B.- "Miroku and Sango are going to break the..." (Looks at reader) "Umm...you never heard that."

W.W.- (eye twitching) "What the HELL does that have to do with my sleeping!"

B.B.- "You were going to miss it... Now get down from there or ELSE." (Puts fingers into the 'snap' position)

W.W.- (falls off lamp, 'accidentally' lands on B.B., putting her right-hand snapping fingers out of action. W.W. sits up and shakes her head) "Oh, my bleeding eardrums..."

B.B.- "You bitch!" (Snaps left fingers)

W.W.- "I will be back!" (Runs away) "And revenge will be mine!"

B.B.- "Ha, run all you like." (Happy Men stand behind B.B.) "Hide all you like, but we shall find you."

W.W.- (off in the distance) "No...You...WON'T...ON'T...N'T...T."

B.B.- (turns to the men) "How'd she get so far, so fast?" (Stare dramatically into space, UFO music playing)

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CAUTION

If we did not have Authors Notes, you would die of boredom. So stop skipping them.

Thank you for reading.

Please continue.

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Lady Crow released the orange wall. Sango bolted into the tent before Lady Crow could realize her intentions and put the wall back up.

"SANGO! COME BACK OUT HERE!" She yelled.

"NEVER! TAY AND I NEED TO BE WITH MIROKU AT NIGHT! IT'S THE ONLY NORMAL THING IN OUR LIVES!" Sango clung to Miroku with all her strength. "Miroku, we need you, I need you."

LONG STORY SHORT

Lady Crow must give in and Miroku, Sango and Tayallay slept in the same tent, the same bedroll.

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B.B.- "Phew." (Shakes out right arm and wipes sweat off her face)

W.W.- (whimpering, sitting on the floor, fingers twitching)

B.B.- "I guess you're wondering why W.W.'s sitting on the floor. I've been tossing her chocolate scraps. Here, W.W., have this." (Holds out story)

W.W.- (sniffs papers that were now in her face, confused.)

B.B.- "I know you haven't seen this in a while, but it's the STORY we've been writing."

W.W.- (at the word story stands up) "Mine?"

B.B.- "Yes."

W.W.- "YES!" (Snatches story then says) "I have something for you too."

B.B.- "Really?"

W.W.- "Sit here." (Points to wooden chair)

B.B.- (right after sitting, W.W. ties B.B. to the chair and duck tapes her mouth shut)

W.W.- "HA! I" (runs to the table and grabs chocolate) "WIN!" (Eats chocolate)