Laurel: (is freaked out) Okay, so I realize that I haven't updated since… (checks) 07-29-04... Ah ha… haa…. (dodges bombs) GAH!

Hen-Neko: (is throwing the bombs)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own… anything CCS, anything LoZ, cheese-in-a-can, old-people-speak, killer bunnies, Steve (bishi of stevilness) cuteness, crushes, Yami-Yugi, Yu-Gi-Oh, poker, Tompkins, the ability to actually play poker, Kratos, Tales of Symphonia, Alana (aka meh sista… (snort) I have rappa skillz)

Claimer: I DO own... the claimer, the world (cough cough), Distant Island, the Plot Sword, Hen-Neko, Bishiman (kinda).


Chapter Eighteen - Poker Duelling!

(Flashback)

Sakura: I'd better go help too! (releases the star-wand again) You coming?

Neko: Uh… (blushes) Naw, I'll just wait here for everyone… Sakura: Okay… (flies back to the cave with the Fly's help)

Neko: (sighs and leans up against the wall)

Mush-loving readers: (squee with anticipation)

Neko: (glares) Shut up.

(End Flashback)

Laurel: (suddenly looks up) My angst senses are tingling…

Sakura: (flies back) Oh my GAWD! Syaoran? (runs over to the cave) Are you okay!

Syaoran: (in an echoing, distant-sounding voice) Like, OMIGOSH! Sakura, you're like SOOO kewl. I saw you flying down and I TOTALLY think it reminded me of this one guy… and he was…

Nakuru: He's hysterical! (looks shocked)

Laurel: No… (zooms in to her face) He's gaysterical…

(long silence… crickets chirp)

Sakura: Wha--? What does that mean?

Laurel: (stares) What do you think? (shakes head) Seriously, you kissed a half-cat but you don't get those jokes… I thought things like that worked through osmosis.

Sakura: --erk! (blushes)

Nakuru: EEEE! (points crazily at Sakura) Blushing, blushing, blushing!

Sakura: (face turns into a tomato) ….. (literally) AHHHH! HOLY MA-CRAP! (runs off)

Laurel: We'll worry about that one later. (turns to Nakuru) Wanna play Old Maid Go Fish?

Nakuru: Okay! (grabs a deck of cards)

(Meanwhile… in Minion mart, Bishiman is pushing a cart full of random weapons through the aisles of what appears to be a store that sells to evil Bishonen)

Intercom Announcer: Clean up on aisle six… clean up on aisle six…

Bishiman: Oooo! I'll take a few of these (stuffs a few dragons into the cart) and one of these… (grabs a bottle of random poison) Ooooh! Hair products! SQUEE! (rams the cart into the display and begins piling the merchandise in)

Steve: (comes around the corner also pushing a cart. Instead of walking, two fangirls carry him) Oh, hello bishiman! Wine?

Bishiman: Steve, bishi of stevilness! Nice to see you. (accepts a wine glass from one of Steve's fangirl minions) What are you doing here?

Steve, bishi of all that is stevil: Oh, nothing much… just the usual pillaging, evil plotting… you know. How about you?

Bishiman: (sips the wine) You'll never guess! (pauses for drama) I'm GETTING MARRIED!

(Uh… anyway… back outside Ganon's castle)

Laurel: Dammit! I win again… (takes off her left sock)

Nakuru: Meehehehehe! (chews on the red queen)

Ganon: (enters from apparently nowhere) Hey girls!

Laurel: Hiya Ganny! How's life?

Ganon: Alright… I guess. (dejected sigh)

Nakuru: Aw, what's wrong?

Ganon: Oh, Link banished me to the sacred realm again. (sniffles) He always ruins EVERYTHING! (cries)

Laurel: (pats him on the back) It's okay… hey, wanna play poker? (grabs the deck of cards)

(meanwhile…)

Sakura: (is freaking out andrunning around with her head as a huge tomato)

(and back to Neko…)

Hen-Neko: (sighs) No one LOVES ME! (pauses) Wait… why am I just sitting here like this?

(…uh… how about Syaoran?)

Syaoran: (is brushing his hair) Like, omg… how long is this going to take? This darkness it totally bad for my complexion.

(Hm… back outside the castle, Laurel has called up a few of her "friends". These include Yami-Yugi from 'Yu-Gi-Oh!', Kratos from 'Tales of Symphonia', aaaaaaaaand…. Tompkins!)

Tompkins: Aw, peas…

Ugly hand: Grarg! GRARG!

Tompkins: (he… he died somehow)

Torso: (takes silver!)

Laurel: (whispers to Kratos) Don't ask…

Kratos: This is absurd. (rolls his eyes) Indeed...

Yami-Yugi: OH NOES! I am LOSING! (twitches) No wait… AHAHAHA! I play Dark Magician! (close up on his crazy-looking face) Attack her Ace directly!

Nakuru: How'd you know I had an Ace? CHEAT!

Yami-Yugi: Aw peas… (grumbles)

Ganon: (has lost all his money, clothes, and army of minions) CRAP! Okay, I bet the Plot Sword.

Laurel: (eyes go starry) YESH! Uh… uh… I bet my… uh… er… PANTS!

Kratos: Goddess, NO!

Martel: (jumps off a bridge)

Kratos: NOOOOOOOOOO! (jumps after her) WHY?

Nakuru: Uh… ahem. Anyway… your move Evil-card-person.

Yami-Yugi: I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL! I'll bet my Millennium Puzzle… and my UNDERWEAR!

Everyone: No.

Yami-Yugi: Aw PEAS!

Nakuru: Yami-Yugi made a swear!

Yami-Yugi: Waaaahh!

Laurel: Ten queens! (drops her cards)

Kratos: Eh… What the f-

Alana: (appears out of nowhere and whaps him) Bad Kratty-chan! (disappears)

Laurel: Now for no reason whatsoever I will bet the plot sword and continue playing! (smiles)

Yami-Yugi: AH HA! YOU FOOL! I had a trap card down all along! (plays the I-keel-yous-all Card) It KEELS YOU ALL!

Card: (keels all)

Yami-Yugi: (wins) MUAHAGA! Damn typo-man… anyway, I win the Plot Sword! (disappears with his magical… magicalness)

Ganon: But you forgot your million dollars… (shifty look) YOINK! (runs away)

Nakuru: Aw poo…


Greatest. Comeback Chapter. EVER! Go to if you want to get some of the jokes…