A week later I found myself back at Nicholas's place. We had initially planned on going for a movie, but we had instead opted ordering Chinese and staying in. And we had occupied ourselves well while waiting for the food to arrive.
"I feel like the biggest cliché," I laughed as I popped a chicken dumpling into my mouth. Nicholas and I were lying in his bed, my clothes strewn across the place, with me in Nicholas's shirt, him in just sweatpants, eating our dinner directly out of a carton.
"Well, you're a very cute cliché," I said with a teasing smile, then kissed the top of my forehead.
Nicholas and I had reached a new stage. Since everything was out in the open, and we were both starting to move on, it was like we could just fool around. It didn't always have to be drama, and I wasn't constantly afraid of loosing him. It was great.
"I got a job offer today," he told me before filling his mouth with fried rice.
"That's great. You're not even finished school yet though."
"I know. City of Toronto's willing to take me on once I graduate."
"Are you going to take it?"
"I'm thinking about it. I might do my masters and see if maybe I could teach."
"You'd make a great teacher," I told him sincerely.
"I don't know yet. I'm still not sure what I want to do."
"Then don't rush it. Pass me an egg roll instead."
"That was subtle," he laughed.
I grinned. "I try."
"Bad news. This is the last one," he told me, holding up half of what had been an egg roll. "You'll have to wrestle me for it."
I rolled over and pounced on him. "Beg for mercy," I told him.
He grinned. "Never."
I shrugged. "Fine." I reached for the egg roll and released it from his grip. I was about to take a bite when he rolled over, and I found him on top of me.
"Beg for mercy," he laughed.
"Never."
"Then loose the egg roll." He bit it right out of my hand. Once he finished, I managed to get my hands out of his grip and reach around his waist to tickle him. He jumped up and ran to the other side of the bed. I followed him over, very slowly, and brought my body to just touching his. I tickled him again, and he squirmed. Even though I was shorter than him, he allowed me to pin his arms against the wall.
"Beg for mercy," I told him again.
"I've got a better idea," he grinned.
"What?"
He quickly swept me off my feet, and he put me down on the bed. "Your turn to beg."
But I had forgotten all about the game or any begging. All I could see was Nicholas. I opened my mouth to say something, but was stopped by Nicholas's lips on mine.
Later on, I found myself lying in Nicholas's arms again.
"I should get going," I said softly, not wanting to break the mood.
Nicholas's lips gently touched my forehead when he spoke. "Why don't you stay here?"
"I didn't bring any stuff."
"Why don't you? I don't have much room, but you could still leave some of your stuff.
I grinned. I hadn't planned on him saying that. I got out of bed and pulled his comforter around me.
"You know what?"
"What?" I asked.
"This is the first time I've been in love since I moved to Toronto."
I laughed. "In a John Mayer song, that would make me your city love."
He smiled. "I like that. My city love."
"Okay, I have something to tell you," I told Ashley the following week when we met for our weekly coffee at The Dot.
"Shoot," she told me, stirring her chai.
"I've been accepted to University of BC."
"That's awesome. Congratulations!"
"Thanks," I told her with a smile. "It's pretty exciting."
"What did Nicholas say?"
I stirred my drink. "I haven't told him yet."
"Why not?"
I sighed. I didn't want to admit this to anyone, but I knew that I needed Ashley's help.
"I don't want him to know yet. I just want him for a little while longer. I know this can't last, but I need to hang onto it for awhile."
She nodded and took a sip. "I understand that. But Paige, you're in a relationship with him, I mean, God, you might even sleep with him. You need to be honest with him."
"I already have."
"I thought you had said you hadn't told him."
"I haven't. I've already slept with him."
Ashley dropped her drink. "Shit!" I quickly got the napkins from the table beside us and mopped up the mess.
"When did you?"
"Two weekends ago."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
I shrugged. "I didn't tell anyone. I like. . . I like having him, and us, to myself. I know it sounds weird, but that's what I need."
She nodded. "Are you thinking of staying here?"
"I love him Ash, I really do. But I need out of here. And he's got a job here once he finishes school. I need my escape. After everything that's happened here, I want out of Toronto once and for all."
Friday night, Nicholas and I hibernated in his apartment again. Instead of going for the wine, we got straight into rum.
"I've got a city love," Nicholas belted out with my John Mayer CD. "I found it in. . . Paigeia."
I giggled. We had both had way too much to drink, but we were enjoying ourselves.
"Two AM, I swear I might propose." He stopped his rendition and turned to me. "Do you keep your toothbrush at my place?"
I laughed. "I do now."
"That's right, you brought some stuff over."
I laughed again. "Okay, I'm going to bed."
"Wait, wait, I'll go with you."
He did, and as he settled into bed, he started rubbing my back. And as he did that, I made a shocking realization.
I was actually happy.
