Ch.8

GREEN!

W.W.- "Ok, B.B. went way too far with the chocolate thing. Yes, I like chocolate. But I would not sit on the floor for it. Unless there was tequila involved. However, I would tie her up and duck tape her mouth shut. The chick talks way too much. And she turned herself into LemonIce with strawberry tinge."

B.B.- (struggles against the rope holding her to the chair, her new LemonIce with cotton candy tinted hair standing on edge)

W.W.- "Hey, at least I'm telling the truth."

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Two days passed, and the group slowly became used to the new shape shifter. It was hard, but eventually even Inuyasha warmed up to the little green charmer. Because of that shock, they all soon forgot Ankha and Rain's madness. The pair did not forget the little green men, however.

Inuyasha woke in the middle of the night, his stomach growling with hunger. Quietly, he tiptoed over the Kagome's bag and stole a packet of ramen out of it. The fire was dead, and there was no water (Shippo's time of service being up) so his hunger had to wait longer as he started the fire, fetched the water, and set it to boil. But he thought it was worth the wait as the smell of ramen filled the air.

His moving about had awoken Ankha. She lay there in her warm bedroll, weighing the pro's and con's of ripping Inuyasha into mincemeat, when a sound very different reached her ears.

"Plop!" She raised her head to look about her. The smell of cooking ramen changed subtly, started to smell like...leaves? Her thoughts were broken by Inuyasha's scream of anguish.

"NO!" His ramen had turned green.

"Plop! Plop! Plop!" Instinctively, Ankha looked up. She shouted herself.

"LITTLE GREEN MEN!" Her shout had the effect of waking the camp and sending the green men away. All looked at her.

"Little green men were painting the leaves!" When they looked skeptically at her, she sighed in exasperation, and pointed at the ruined ramen and the crying Inuyasha. They saw the small green dot on his forehead. But it didn't stay small. It grew. And as it grew, Inuyasha's eyes took on a mad look.

"Did he get rabies?" Sessho asked, knowing it was impossible. Inuyasha's face began to become completely green. Then it seeped into his hair, and traveled down his body. As he saw his hands and feet turn green, Inuyasha ripped off his clothes, trying to scrub away the color. Kagome shrieked and all covered their eyes. The naked, glowing green dog demon ran into the woods.

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W.W. + B.B.- "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." (Continue laughing)

Inuyasha- (huddled in a corner, black shadow over him)

Everybody- "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." (Continue laughing)

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Slowly, as the sound of Inuyasha faded away, they uncovered their eyes. Ankha spoke.

"I am scarred for life."

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Inuyasha ran through the forest, blending in easily with the green foliage. Foaming at the mouth, he ran to the stream and climbed into a tree. There he sat, waiting.

A shadow caught his eye, and as it came closer, he saw the twitching tail. 'Cat Demon!' he thought. 'It must be Ankha! I found no other cat demon scents!' In his befuddled state, he conveniently forgot that she routinely kicked his ass, and prepared to attack.

"DIE, BITCH!" Inuyasha leapt from the tree and landed on the cat demon.

But it wasn't Ankha.

It was a male cat demon.

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W.W.- "Let's take a minute to realize just what the male cat demon is seeing. This particular cat demon wishes to be known as O.B.P., ok? Anyway, how would you feel if a glowing green NAKED dog demon jumped on you, since you are both male? Reply, please."

Everybody- "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." (Laughing continues)

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O.B.P. had just been walking along, minding his own business, contentedly weighed down by all the cash he had lifted from unsuspecting people. He had been thirsty, so he had turned off his original path and walked to the stream.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Was all he had time to get out before he was smushed by the glowing green, naked dog demon. And out of nowhere, a rip in the space-time continuum showed up to the left, and O.B.P.'s ex-girlfriend, D.C., walked through. She saw the scene, shook her head, and walked right back through the rip. It closed behind her.

The green on Inuyasha spread to O.B.P. As Inuyasha leapt back into his tree, O.B.P. became more and more green. He tore up his own clothes and hopped into a tree opposite the green Inuyasha. There they waited for several hours, until the green wore off, and they collapsed on the ground in a heap.

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Kagome- "What was that stuff, anyway?"

W.W.- "Mutant grass stains."

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Announcer Guy- "Meanwhile, back at camp..."

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"Inu-YASH-a!" Kagome ran around, yelling for him. The rest half-heartedly did the same. They didn't really care. Shippo was whining at Ankha.

"Can I look through your cloak?"

"No Shippo. You could get your fingers blown off."

"I'll be careful. Pplleeaassee?"

"NO." Shippo made puppy dog eyes.

"Pppllleeeaaassseee?" The cat demon gave in. She was no match for puppy dog eyes. Untying it, she slung it off her shoulders and handed it over to him. When he grabbed it, he learned how heavy it was. It pulled him over. But as soon as he regained his balance, he dove into the cloak, and started to look through, and started to look through the pocket. Kagome came over to Ankha.

"Ankha, help me look for Inuyasha."

"Do I have to?" Tears filled Kagome's eyes. The cat demon sighed in exasperation and went into the woods. Since she couldn't care about finding Inuyasha, she walked slowly and barely muttered his name. 'Damn mutt. Has to make everything difficult.'

Shippo watched Ankha leave, and from his seat on her cloak, asked Kagome, "Why do you want to find Inuyasha so much, Kagome?"

"Um..." Shippo looked slyly at her.

"Is it because you love him?" A vein twitched in Kagome's forehead, and, for the first time, she conked Shippo on the head. Then she went back to calling for the dog demon.

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Ankha reached the stream. Pushing back some bushes, she gasped at the sight before her. Inuyasha and O.B.P. were normal colored again, but still naked and still tangled together. Her eyes widened. Her hand went over her mouth to stifle her laughter. 'Kagome has to see this!' She ran back to camp.

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"Sango, you are grounded to the litter." Lady Crow said, a crystal flare in her eyes.

Sango grumbled as she climbed into her new prison. Lady Crow lifted the litter by way of her misty orange colored hands. "Miroku."

"Yes, Lady Crow?" Miroku was bummed about having a leash to keep him close to Lady Crow.

"I am dry." Miroku was very confused. Lady Crow released Miroku's leash. "Fetch me some water. There should be a stream down the path. We'll catch up."

Happy though he was to get off the leash, he reluctantly snatched up the container Lady Crow held out. He walked away grumbling more than Songo was.

Miroku was walking on the path when he saw something in the middle.

"What the Hell?" He walked closer and saw the two. A wide grin broke out on his face. He said, "Aw, how cute! Young love." Inuyasha growled in his sleep and Miroku ran away so fast he raised a cloud of dust. A few minutes passed, and the litter came around the bend.

Sango had been listening to Lady Crow's everlasting chatter the whole time. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. "Air!" She stuck her head through the curtains. And started to snicker. Curious, Lady Crow stuck her head out as well. She gasped in shock, then pulled both Sango and her head back in, shrieking, "Impure!" The litter quickly followed Miroku.

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A whirlwind stopped right next to the still sleeping pair. The wolf demon, Koga, formed out of it. Sneering, he said, "I knew it!" He only wished he could preserve this moment.

Koga jumped three feet in the sir as a large – tear – in the air appeared next to him. It D.C. again, and this time she had a camera, one of the ones that spit out a picture immediately. She took a picture of the two naked demons, and handed it to Koga, saying, "One for you..." then took another. "...and one for me." Before she closed the rip behind her, she raised the photo above her head and laughed. "Blackmail!" The rip closed, leaving a very confused Koga behind. Quickly, before anymore strange women with the power to move through time and space appeared, he left.

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Kagome screamed in fright when Ankha dropped suddenly in front of her. Ankha tucked the girl under her arm, and leaped back into the tree, saying as she went, "You have got to see this!" The cat demon leapt from tree to tree until she arrived at the stream. She perched in the tree only recently evacuated by Inuyasha. Carefully avoiding the sharp thorn bush that had grown high around it's trunk, she set Kagome down. Parting the branches, she said, "Look." Kagome was speechless by what she saw. Ankha whispered, "If I have to be scarred by this for the rest of my nine lives," here she grimaced, "and possibly my afterlife, then so should you." Kagome's jaw dropped. But a tree isn't the best place to fall anime-style, because then you just fall out of the tree. This Kagome discovered, and she grabbed at the air to try to keep her balance. What she grabbed was Ankha's long, thick black and red hair. Down they went, only momentarily stopped as Ankha's claws cut through the thick branch she had grabbed to try to keep from falling.

Inuyasha and O.B.P. finally woke up from their little nap, facing each other. They yelled and leapt apart. Inuyasha spotted kagome. He smiled slowly, and Kagome realized why. Her skirt was back up in the thorns, and she wasn't. She screamed and tried to cover her underwear with her hands. "Hey, Kagome . . . " he said, then noticed Ankha, and remembered he was naked. Horrified, he leapt into the stream and swam away as fast as he could. The strange male cat demon stayed put, and leered at the two females. Kagome reached up and snatched her skirt. O.B.P. raised and eyebrow, then moved suggestively. Ankha's eye twitched, a vein started popping in her forehead, and her claws lengthened reflexively.

Kagome slipped into her skirt as Ankha stood in front of her, blocking her from the perverted male cat demon's view. There were several reasons she knew he was a pervert. A.) The look in his eye. B.) His twitching hands, and C.) It's what his type of cat demon was known for, their loose morals. His 'type' was defined by his coloring: the dark red hair, the green eyes, and the rather short tail.

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Ankha- "And here comes the fun part."

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Kagome ran off after Inuyasha. Why? She wanted to know if he was coming out of the closet. She didn't swim, though, she ran. Ankha stayed behind to deal with the pervert. Orlm cat demons, like her, were loners, really, and were suspicious of any other cat demons. That O.B.P. was a perv didn't help, and that he as in her territory made it even worse.

Still, she gave him a chance to go.

"If you leave now, you will live."

O.B.P. was confused. Women continually wanted to kill him, but they always had a reason. This one didn't. All he had done was look at what had been paraded. He noticed the tail that was flicking out behind her in agitation, the shiny claws, dark coloring, pointed ears, and slit-pupil eyes. 'A cat demon!' he thought. Stupidly, he also thought that he could take her on. Tom-cat demons weren't known for their brains.

"I'll stay." So Ankha attacked. Before he could blink, she cut light scratches onto his chest, just deep enough to scar. They spelled 'Loser.' Leaping away, she said, "Still want to stay?"

O.B.P. reached down and touched the blood coming from the scratches. This time his eye started twitching. Now he was angry. "Bitch!" He attacked her, claws out, but could not touch her, for her own were out. She met his every attack, parried each one, and scored several hits while he did not. Finally, he backed off, and stood across from her, breathing heavily, while she showed not a bead of sweat, and in fact yawned!

Ankha felt the dirt on her face from her fall, and wiped it off. O.B.P. saw her marks. Immediately, he turned tail and ran. Before he got too far away, however, she reached for one of the pouches at her waist, opened it, and pulled out a handful of white-ish powder. She put it in her palm, and clinked two of her claws together, causing a spark. The spark landed in the powder, and it burst into flames. She threw it at the retreating naked cat demon. It hit him square on, and stuck, then spread. Soon he was a running pillar of fire.

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Ankha- "See? I told you it was fun."

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Screaming, he leapt into the stream, and swan off in the opposite direction that Inuyasha and Kagome had gone. As she was about to walk away, Ankha saw a glint among the decaying leaves and dirt. Kneeling down, she saw it was money. Picking it up, she tucked it in a empty pouch, and went back to camp.

She arrived, and the first thing she noticed was that half of it had been blown away. A charred Shippo next to her untouched cloak explained why. Ankha sighed, slung her cloak over her shoulders, and picked up the foxling, shaking her head. Holding him up by the scruff of his neck, he dangled in front of her at eye-level. In a low voice, she asked him, "Shippo, what did this?" He wiggled out of her grasp and ran to the center of the blast. He pointed down the hole that was there.

Ankha walked over and looked inside the hole. At the very bottom lay a Shard of the Dark Shikon Jewel, the Assassin's Jewel. She reached down and carefully picked it up. Then she grabbed Shippo again. "Where are the rest?" She said in a hoarse voice. He quivered, then held out his hand. Ankha snatched up the Shards, then hissed. Shippo ran away, thinking she was mad at him, but she was really just in pain. The Shards had sunk into her palm. 'DAMN!'

The cat demon plopped down in the middle of the crater to dig them out. Lengthening her claws just enough, she cut in to dig out the one closest to the surface. The thing about Dark Shikon Jewel Shards is that when the enter a person's flesh, they don't like to come out. And the longer they stay in, the deeper in they go. Ankha sat there for an hour and a half, digging them out. At first, when one came out, all she said was "Ow." Then it became "Ow, shit." Until finally she was hissed and snarling as each one exited her hand. Shippo cowered behind a tree. He had never seen her so pissed. The foxling looked around, and whispered, "Kagome." No louder sound could he make, he was so scared.

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W.W.- "You know those dreams where you're so terrified that you can't make any noise?"

B.B.- (shudders and nods)

W.W.- "Shippo isn't dreaming, but he can't talk."

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Ankha finally finished and looked at the bottle where she had deposited the removed Shikon Jewels. The bottom half was full of the shards, and on top floated her blood. Carefully, she poured the blood out, then stared at her hand. It had turned into Swiss Cheese. Bloody Swiss Cheese.

A footstep near her made her look up. Everyone (with the exception of Kagome and Inuyasha) had come back from looking for the hanyou. They were all staring at her like she was insane, or horribly disfigured. She held up her hand, bleeding side to them, and said,

"Didn't hurt a bit." Ankha tried a shaky smile.

"If it didn't hurt, how come I could hear you screaming three miles away?" Rain said curtly. She glared at him, and replied,

"That wasn't me. It must have been the pervy cat demon I set on fire." And she went on to tell them all what she had seen by the stream.

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Inuyasha climbed out of the stream and flung himself down on the bank to rest from his swim. He had fallen asleep by the time Kagome caught up with him. She stomped right up to him, crouched down and screamed in his ear,

"ARE YOU GAY!"

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Shippo- "Yeah, are you?" (poke) "Are ya?" (Poke) "Are ya?"

Inuyasha- (snatches foxling and prepares to throw him.)

Ankha- "I wouldn't do that. You may be the gay wonder mutt now, but I will still beat you. Put the fox down."

Inuyasha- "I AM NOT GAY!" (Drops Shippo, tackles Ankha) "STUPID CAT!" (They fight)

W.W.- "Just another day in paradise."

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Inuyasha screamed in surprise and leapt three feet in the air. He had not heard what

Kagome had said.

"What'd you do that for Kagome!" She smiled and said in a sweet voice,

"Do you need someone to talk about 'it' with?" Inuyasha was confused.

"That about what?"

"You being gay." He growled and jumped back into the stream. As he swam away, he shouted, "I AM NOT GAY!" She chased him until the stream ran out, and he was swimming through dirt, only occasionally stopped be a tree. He 'swam' right into camp.

The demons gathered there stared in amazement as the giant gopher came closer. Ankha and Loeyla reacted first, snatching the children and men out of the way. When they were safely out of reach, they turned back around to see what would happen next.

What happened next was a disheveled Kagome attacking the giant gopher, and pinning it to the ground. She was shouting,

"ARE YOU GAY!" She started chocking the giant gopher, now clearly Inuyasha. Ankha called out,

"Kagome, if you choke him to death, you'll never find out." Kagome looked up. She didn't know she was in camp, and was quickly reminded that Inuyasha was naked by her friends' laughter. She jumped off him and snatched a set of rat robes for him to wear. The girl tossed them on the half breed, and turned her back so he could put them on.

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Some Random Person- "That's stupid. You've already seen all he has."

Kagome- (mutter)

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Once he was dressed, she turned around, to find he was standing right behind her.

"NO!" He screamed in her face so loudly her hair stood on end. "I AM NOT GAY!" He calmed a bit. "The last thing I remember is making ramen, and it turning green. Next, I awoke, saw a horrifying sight, and then you, Kagome, in your underwear. Then I jumped into the river. You know the rest."

"If you don't remember, then how do you know you're not gay?" Sessho asked in an innocent voice. The newly clothed Inuyasha screamed and tackled him.

"Wow, Inuyasha sure is touchy on that subject." Loeyla remarked. Her mate soon had the enraged mutt under control. "It's okay, Inuyasha, we believe you." Ankha and Shippo snorted. "Just chill, dude."

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W.W.- "I know that's not how people talked back then, but remember, they've all spent some time in Kagome's era, and Loeyla's from that time too."

Ankha- "Except Rorrim."

Rorrim- "Yeah, except me. I've never been there. What does it mean?"

W.W.- "Calm down, hair on the elephants butt."

Rorrim- "Really?"

W.W.- (smiles evilly) "Really."

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O.B.P. had finally gotten all of the burning powder off. The water hadn't stopped the fire, he'd had to scrub and scratch it all off. He went back to the place he had fought the evil cat demon to look for his money.

"NO!" It was gone! All his money! Gone! "I'm going to KILL that bitch!"

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Loeyla- "Why does he immediately assume that Ankha took it?"

W.W.- "Because it runs with the story. We're not done with O.B.P. yet." (Laughs, also evilly)

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Disclaimer- We do not own Inuyasha, blah blah blah. WritingWoman owns Rorrim, Tayallay, Ankha, and Rain. BlondBitch owns Lady Crow and her crew, and Loeyla. O.B.P., the real person at our school with a big nose, owns O.B.P.

Note- if there are any dissimilarities between the personalities of the characters on the show, and how they act in this or any other of our (or my) stories, that's because we don't watch it that much. B.B. ain't got cable, and I just don't care that much. So, we're just running with what we got.