I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to I didn't mean to I didn't mean to. Remy was pacing his room, his mind still wrapped up in the incident with Rogue, despite the fact that it had happened days before. Since then he had left his room only once, when he had heard the screams the night before… something more was happening to Rogue, and he knew it had something to with touching her. He had caused it all.

The night before had been an event for him as well… he hadn't eaten since touching Rogue, and they had allowed it… but then Xavier had come into his room. He'd met the man who ran that Institute only once before, when his adopted father had checked him into the Institute.


Crazed, but tired, he had allowed Xavier to roll in, barely acknowledging his presence. Xavier's eyes had been fixed on Remy the entire time Seated on the bed, Remy stared into space, and Xavier allowed it for several minutes. The silence was thick, but it disappeared instantly when Xavier cleared his throat, decided that they had spent enough time in contemplation of what needed to be said.

When Xavier refrained from speech for another few seconds, Remy spoke up.

"She's not autistic," he stated simply, still not looking at Xavier.

Xavier hesitated, then, in a calculated, measured tone, "No."

"But she can't touch, because…." He shook his head, finally looking at Xavier with eyes that were dark and piercing. "I don't really have emotional problems, do I?"

Xavier chuckled a little at that. "I'm afraid you do, Remy. You're here for legitimate reasons."

"And the others aren't?" Remy snapped quickly.

Xavier sighed deeply, contemplating. "Many are not, though deterioration and manipulation have served as reasons enough. Remy, why have you stopped eating?"

"I'm not hungry. I'm upset about… I thought you knew."

"Oh, I do, I just wanted to be sure. I have brought your vitamins-"

"I'm not hungry," Remy said obstinately, turning so that he was facing away from Xavier, making it clear that he wished for the man to leave.

Xavier's tone became determined. "Remy, I will not have charges of negligence filed against my Institute. Your father-"

"He's not my father."

"… your father has trusted me to take care of you. You can sulk all you want, but I won't have you getting sick. Now take your vitamins." Remy remained silent, not moving. "Remy, I am going to leave them on your desk. If they're not gone in an hour, when I come to check on you…" Xavier trailed off, leaving the threat open-ended to maximize it's potency. He then slowly wheeled himself out of the room, and Remy was left in silence.

It wasn't silent for long, however. The screams started, then grew louder and louder, very recognizable. They started out high, then deteriorated into long wails which were tainted with a southern drawl. Remy started and went to the door, wanting to help, but stopped. He had done enough, hadn't he? He had been the one to start all these problems. She may not have been truly happy before, but she was content within the Institute. She was comfortable and quiet and smelled good, and he really just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Remy turned to look at the desk. The vitamins: they had always been a part of life at the Institute… really they had been a part of life for as long as he could remember. He had started taking them when he turned 13... Everyone did. They were normal; they would help return things to the way they had been before. Remy began to reach for them, when Rogue's screams got even louder.

"No! No! The vitamins!… I won't hide anymore!"

The vitamins. She saw it too: they were the past. In his mind now, they were the key to the Institute, to life, and to reality. He searched himself; he was willing to "hide." but not without her. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the door, and moved to open it, but the knob wouldn't move. They had locked him in. Furious, Remy grabbed the knob with both hands, twisting as hard as he could, and allowing a small growl to escape between his furiously bared teeth. He could feel himself turning red from the fiery anger that seemed to burst out of somewhere in his chest. He was hot; his hands were hot. Something popped or fizzled or burned, and the next thing he knew was he was out, moving swiftly through the halls towards Rogue's room, towards the screams.

But wait, the screams were getting quieter. Was she hiding, finally? Would she let him rest? No, Remy's neck snapped around and he quickly changed directions, realizing that he was moving away from the screams. She was… down? There was a basement here, but it was never used. Not to his knowledge…

Creeping down the stairs, concentrating on controlling the heat that threatened to break from his hands again, Remy peaked around the corner, and the screams almost blew him away. There she was, held against her will, and there were machines… He couldn't imagine what they were doing to her, but he was suddenly afraid, very afraid.

Her eyes were squeezed shut in pain, but every few seconds they would flutter open, out of control, and the machines sent currents through her, into her head and arms and being. Then she saw him. Somewhere in her pain and her distraction, she was able to see the sliver of Remy that was watching her, and she focused on him, suddenly silent.

Even more frightened by her reaction to him, Remy crept slowly back up the stairs, closing the door and returning to his room.

There was nothing I could do, he repeated to himself over and over again as he began to pace his room again. Nothing… nothing. Sitting down on his bed, he ran his hands through his hair, sweat starting to bead on his forehead.

Things were silent now. It had been sudden, but it was over now. No more screams, she would hide again, with him. They could build a fort, they could give into the undeniable river of ignorance, and just conform. Together.

From down the hall Remy heard the light squeak of a wheelchair wheel coming toward his room. Jumping up, he grabbed the vitamins and swallowed them whole. It was so cold.


A/N: I'm reading Love in the Time of Cholera right now… hopefully that explains this chapter.