This little diddy came to me a couple of months ago after watching A Goofy Movie. The first song that's sung between Goofy and his son was just too perfect for a potential scene betweenYuki and Ayame—it was just begging to be written.
Or maybe it was just another excuse to torture poor Yuki. He seems to get that a lot when I'm writing. --; (If you consider this theory, you might want to substitute my title with another one my friend came up with: Yuki's Worst Nightmare.)
Anyway, this was an attempt to do a parody of sorts. I always seem to write so much drama, and this was a fun experiment. I've considered writing a couple of other things like this. I've already got ideas for Haru and Tohru, but I haven't had the chance to do anything with them yet.
To anyone who's reading my other story, Shojo Fukuzai, and happens upon this: I'll post the next chapter as soon as my writer's block for it clears up. I'm hoping to have it up by the end of the week.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or it's characters. I also don't own the song "On the Open Road" or the movie it came from.
On the Open Road – Furuba Style
He didn't know how it had happened, or why he had allowed it to happen. The only thing he knew was that he had somehow allowed himself to end up here. If there was a fate worse than death, he was sure this was it.
"Isn't this wonderful, Yuki?" asked Ayame cheerfully from his position behind the wheel. "We're finally going to have the chance to strengthen the foundation of our brotherly bond! I can feel it growing already!"
I'm going to kill Shigure, thought Yuki as he glared out the window with a stormy expression. It would be a slow, agonizing death, he decided; a quick one was too good for that lecherous canine. Something reminiscent of the rack, or maybe the iron maiden…
The rat sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, remembering the events that had conspired against him so that he ended up here in the first place. It had started out as any normal summer morning, with Tohru cooking breakfast and the stupid cat attempting to pick a fight with him. It had all went sour when Ayame had shown up with the idea of taking a road trip to "strengthen their brotherly bond"—as he so quaintly put it.
Of course, Yuki had wanted nothing to do with it. Like any other sane person, he had outright refused to embark on such a stupid quest. Somehow, though—and he still didn't know how—Shigure and Ayame had managed to corral him in the car and take off before he could get out of it.
And so, he found himself stuck in his brother's car with no hope of possibly escaping this torturous ordeal. He decided to make use of his time, though, by plotting the demises of everyone involved in his brother's little scheme—and the loudest members of the Mabudachi Trio were at the top of his list.
His meticulous planning was interrupted, though, when he suddenly noticed that the car had wandered into the oncoming lane of traffic—more specifically, into the path of an approaching car. Ayame was happily oblivious to the entire scenario, of course, being absorbed in plotting the course of their road trip on the map he held while trying to drive at the same time.
Thankfully, Yuki was more alert. His eyes widened in horror, he reached over and jerked the wheel so that they were back in the right lane. The other driver replied with an angry honk of his horn as he passed the brothers' car.
"Are you trying to get us killed?" demanded the rat angrily as Ayame looked up to see what had caused the car to jolt so suddenly.
"Of course not!" Ayame replied indignantly. "I was simply distracted while charting the course that will strengthen our brotherly love."
"Most people plan a trip before they start, not during the drive," Yuki snapped irritably. "Either give me the map or put it away."
"Don't be silly, Yuki," his brother assured him as he went back to poring over his map. "I'm an experienced driver; I can chart and drive at the same time!"
How did he ever get a license? wondered the silver-haired boy with a disdainful glance at the platinum-haired serpent. It was hard to believe that anyone would award his brother a driver's license. Then again, Shigure had mentioned more than once that Ayame had been going down to the bureau every week or two to take the test. It could have been that the snake had simply overwhelmed the officials and they had finally given him a license just to get rid of him…
His thoughts were once more interrupted when the sound of a loud horn alerted him to the fact that something was amiss again. Apparently, the car had wandered yet again—into the path of a truck barreling down the highway. With a loud gasp, he reached over and managed to steer their car out of the way just in time once more.
Glowering at his older brother, he jerked the map out of the man's grasp. When Ayame began to protest, he threw the map into the back of the car and hissed, "Just drive!"
The snake pouted as he cast a final, fleeting look at his map that had been cast aside so unceremoniously before returning to the task he should have been performing all along. After a few moments of silence settled over them, Ayame glanced over at his brother who was sulking as he gazed out the passenger side window longingly.
What can I do to pass the time that would interest Yuki as well? Ayame thought long and hard about this question before an obvious answer to his query occurred to him. Perking up a bit, he said, "Yuki, how about we sing a song?"
Yuki sent him a scathing look. "You must be joking!"
"Of course not! It's a time honored American tradition," answered his brother, a proud look on his face.
"We're Japanese," the rat reminded the platinum-haired man.
"That doesn't matter," Ayame told him dismissively as he began to tap his fingers on the wheel in time with the keys as they jingled in the ignition. "Just go with it, Yuki!"
Yuki felt something akin to dread welling in him as he suddenly heard background music that started to filter through, joining in with the tapping of his brother's fingers and the rattle of the keys. He had a bad feeling about this…
"Do you need a break from modern living?" sang Ayame loudly. "Do you long to strengthen your brotherly bond?"
Yuki rolled his eyes but suddenly found himself under assault as his brother wrapped his arm around his shoulders, drawing him into a loathsome embrace. Their car swerved slightly as the serpent divided his attentions. "If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried, just grab a friend and take a ride—together out on the open road!"
The platinum-haired man grinned as he tightened his grip on his younger brother. "C'mon, Yuki!"
Yuki glowered at his brother, shrugging off his arm as he angrily sang in response, "All in all, I'd rather have detention! All in all, I'd rather you were gone!"
"Aw!" Ayame pouted visibly at his brother, momentarily taking his eyes off the road.
As the traffic became thicker, Yuki jerked on the wheel again as they almost drifted into the lane of oncoming traffic. "Watch the road!"
Grimacing, the rat added, "My brother drives like such a klutz, that I'm about the hurl my guts—directly upon the open road."
Ayame puffed up slightly as he sang, "There's nothing can upset me, 'cause now we're on our way. Our brotherly love will see us through!"
Yuki glanced out the window reverently as he pictured Tohru's smiling face. "Honda-san, please don't forget me—I will return someday." As his brother hit a patch of road construction, knocking over multiple orange cones, he gasped and covered his eyes. "Though I may be in traction when I do!"
When he uncovered his eyes, he glanced up to see that their car seemed to be none the worse for wear—but Ayame still continued his idiotic crooning with a goofy grin.
"Me and Yuki relaxing like we should be!" sang Ayame happily, while Yuki scowled and grumbled, "This is worse than anything ever could be!"
"In a buddy-buddy kind of mode," the snake crooned as his brother folded his arms angrily and spat, "I'm so mad, I think I may explode!"
Yuki glanced at Ayame as he feigned tears and put a finger to his eye. "When I see the highway, I could cry."
Glaring, the rat retorted, "You know that's funny, so could I." Then, together, the brothers sang, "Just being out on the open road."
As they continued their drive, they suddenly passed by a car where three Harajuku girls stuck their heads out of the windows to ask, "Hey there, boys, is this the way to Tokyo?"
In his interest in the girls, Ayame momentarily drifted lanes again, only to be warned off by a tow truck driver as he angrily shook a fist out the window and shouted back, "Watch it, bud! Or you'll be getting towed!"
Meanwhile, Akito, who had stowed away in the trunk to see if he could possibly find a way to corner Yuki during this little trek the brothers were making, peaked his head out of the truck and sang in annoyance, "I'm in a hurry to arrive, 'cause I wanna be alive—the next time I see the open road!"
Ayame stepped on the gas pedal and soon the brothers were passing a young couple in an American style convertible car. The boy looked like a J-Rock star as he sang, "Just a week of rest and relaxation!"
His girlfriend, a Ganguro, happily chimed in, "Yeah!"
"And the odd romantic episode," added the J-Rock looking guy.
"Very odd!" commented Yuki in astonishment.
As they passed by along the highway, Yuki was startled to see Hatsuharu attempting to hitch a ride as he sang, "And it's Sohma house or bust!"
Suddenly, a driver who seemed like they could give Ayame a run for his money in the terrible driver department sped past the brothers. It was an elderly woman who grinned maniacally as she screeched, "Look out, you dirt bags, eat my dust! From now on, I own the open road!"
Yuki's attentions were drawn back to his brother as he began to sing again. "Just me and little Yuki, my little brother dear!"
From the car beside them, carrying a band of traveling Shinto monks, came the chorus of, "They're brothers striving just to get along!" and Ayame joined in as they sang, "Uh-huh!"
Glancing out the window in a panic, the rat pled, "Could someone call Hatori, and get me outta here, and back to where I belong?"
As the background music grew louder, Ayame and all of the other vehicle occupants around them began to belt out, "Oh, everyday another new adventure! Every kilo, another one to go! And the cares we had are gone for good!"
Sulkily, the silver-haired boy muttered, "And I'd go with them if I could."
It seems that his angry complaints were ignored because Ayame and the other people around him continued to sing. "I've got no strings on me! I'm feeling fancy-free! How wonderful to be! On the open road!"
Yuki was amazed at how long they could hold the note when there suddenly came a loud bang that signaled the end of the song and—
The terrified rat bolted upright with a gasp. Eyes darting around frantically, he soon discovered that he was back in his own room. Sagging in relief, he wiped some of the sweat from his brow as he laughed slightly, murmuring, "It was only a dream…"
Then Yuki glanced over at his clock. It was seven thirty—time to start the morning, he decided gladly. He dared not go back to sleep for fear of reliving his worst nightmare. After getting dressed, he started downstairs.
As he entered the dining room, he saw Tohru setting the table. She smiled brightly at him as she chirped, "Good morning, Yuki-kun! Did you sleep well?"
There was a vague feeling in the back of his mind that something about this seemed familiar, but the rat ignored it and instead favored the onigiri with a charming smile as he answered, "I slept fine, thank you, Honda-san. Breakfast looks delicious."
"Hey, rat-boy!" growled Kyo from behind Yuki. "After breakfast, we're gonna have it out!"
Sighing, Yuki didn't even bother to look back as he took his place at the table. "I'm not going to waste my energy fighting you, stupid cat."
"Oh, no, you don't!" hissed the cat angrily as he sat down across from the other boy. His cat ears were practically visible as he added, "You're not getting outta this one! We've been putting this off for too long! Say your prayers 'cause today's the day—I'm gonna beat you!"
"Don't you ever say anything else?" retorted the rat rhetorically.
"Good morning, everyone!" sang Shigure as he appeared in the doorway, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Like Tohru's earlier comment, something about the dog's demeanor nagged at the rat, but he tamped down on the feeling before it could disrupt his morning routine. This was a fairly regular occurrence, he told himself—nothing at all to be excited about.
"So, what are your plans for the day?" Shigure asked the teens as they all sat down and attempted to have a civilized meal.
"I'm gonna kick that damn rat's ass!" pronounced Kyo with a smirk before he attacked the barracuda on his plate.
"In your dreams," muttered Yuki, carefully placing a pickle into his mouth.
"If it's okay, I'd like to go out today," Tohru answered Shigure with a smile. "I'm going to go somewhere with Uo-chan and Hana-chan."
At those words, Yuki almost dropped his chopsticks. That feeling of déjà vu was stronger now than ever before. Slowly turning to look at the girl, he swallowed and asked, "W-where are you going to go, Honda-san?" He was almost afraid of the answer she would give.
"Hana-chan wants to pick up some fabric so that she can make a new cape, and Uo-chan and I are going along to pick out something to make dresses, too," the onigiri told them.
"Sounds like you're all set," commented Shigure. Then, offhandedly, he added, "Mit-chan is going to be coming by this afternoon to pick up my manuscript."
"And you're gonna drive her insane again, right?" snorted Kyo.
The dog grinned like a Cheshire cat. "I prefer to think of it as playing games…"
"With her head, maybe," the rat found himself muttering before he could stop himself. His face drained as he realized why this scenario was so familiar. He knew exactly what was going to happen, and he would do anything to prevent it.
Jumping to his feet, he made a break for the front door, ignoring his housemates' varied sounds of protest. To his horror, though, he found the last person he wanted to see blocking it.
"Aya!" Shigure greeted the intruder.
"'Gure!" gushed the snake as he gazed at the dark-haired man.
"What rock did he slither out from under?" muttered Kyo under his breath.
"Good morning, Ayame-san," greeted Tohru amicably.
"What brings you here so early in the morning?" the dog wanted to know.
"Well, I've just had the most inspired idea, 'Gure-san," Ayame told the novelist.
Yuki's head slowly began to shake in denial. Oh, no. Nononononono!
"Oh, and what is that?" asked Shigure curiously.
The snake smiled conspiratorially. "I think Yuki and I should take a little road trip, to strengthen our brotherly bond…"
"That sounds wonderful!" exclaimed Tohru with an excited smile. She turned to the silver-haired boy who looked like he'd seen a ghost. Concern melted her features as she quietly asked, "Yuki-kun…are you okay…?"
In response, the rat screamed.
