Chapter Eleven – Feels Like Home

Dawn and Buffy left Olivia alone with Alex.

"How do you deal with this Alex?" Olivia asked.

"Sometimes not very well," Alex replied. "You're seeing me after I've had some time to adjust. The first month I was here I was practically catatonic some days. Xander actually helped get me back on track."

"But this place is so different," Olivia said. "And yet…"

"And yet something here feels right," Alex said.

"I can't really explain it," Olivia replied. "But for all the weirdness, there is something about this place that seems familiar."

"It took me a while to figure it out," Alex said. "They care about what they do here. The same way you, Elliot, John, Fin and Captain Cragen all care. You say 'we speak for the victims.' To most people that's just some meaningless phrase. When you said it to Xander last night, he understood. Most of the people here understand what it means. Just like you understood Xander when he told why he does this and Buffy when she talked about what it means to be a Slayer."

Olivia nodded. It made sense. In her job she dealt with the worst parts of humanity. She saw things that no one should have to see. It was impossible to do the job well if you didn't care. She looked back up at the board. The people here fought those things. Saw that ugliness on a daily basis. To do that job well they had to carel. But there was a danger in caring too much.

"They care," Olivia said nodding. "Is that why they brought you here Alex? Because they care so much they don't want to become like what they fight."

Alex smiled. "Yes, that's why Buffy hired me. Doing what you do its easy to cross the line. The same is true here. And the consequences of crossing that line here can be a lot more severe. So they hired me to help them find the line and stay on the correct side of it."

Olivia nodded again. "I bet that's not easy."

"No its not," Alex acknowledged. "Slayers by their nature tend to be aggressive. They prefer direct action. One of the functions of Watchers is to help channel that aggression. To give the Slayers the proper targets. That's usually simple when they are dealing with a seven foot tall demon that likes to bite peoples' heads off. When dealing with humans it gets a lot more complicated. For that matter is tends to get complicated with the demons too, but I generally don't deal with that part of the job."

"Are you really happy here Alex?"

Alex smiled. "I am. It surprises me too. This place is frustrating. The same way New York was frustrating. Far too many of the cases I deal with end up with a less than happy ending. Buffy gives me a lot a freedom but things can still end up a muddled mess. But working with the people here makes it worth it. This is a war that will never really be won. But like Buffy told me the day she offered me this job, everyday I wake up and have the chance to make things better is a victory. Another day we've won the war."

"A chance," Olivia said. "Is that what they fight for."

"That and the world," Alex said. "Buffy explained to me that the biggest single mistake the Old Council made with the Slayers was disconnecting them from the world. Making their entire lives revolve around fighting demons. They may have created good fighters but not good people and not true warriors."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Kendra was perhaps the epitome of what the Watchers thought a Slayer should be," Alex explained. "Trained from a young age to fight demons. No purpose beyond the hunt. She was incredibly skilled. And she died barely a year after being called. Killed by a vampire that both Buffy and Faith could have taken."

"They need something beyond the hunt," Olivia nodded.

"Exactly," Alex replied. "Buffy's right when she says a Slayer can't walk away. But they can step away for a brief little while. One of things they try to encourage is for the new Slayers to take that opportunity. To connect to the world. To know what it is that they are fighting for. A reason not only to fight but to survive and to succeed."

"You know I think I understand now how Buffy and Dawn were able to work so well with us last year," Olivia said. "Everybody found it weird how they just seemed to fit into the team like they were always there. But I guess in a way they were. As strange as it is, they deal with the ugly things nobody else can or wants to deal with."

Alex smiled and then changed the subject, "You need to get ready for dinner."

"Where are we going tonight?"

"Xander's and my house," Alex answered. "Don't worry, neither of us is cooking. We have a friend who will handle the food preparation."

"Who's coming?"

"All the Scoobies," Alex replied. "Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Giles and Faith. Robin's coming, along with Kennedy, Willow's girlfriend, and Andrew neither of whom you've met yet."

"Sounds like an interesting evening."

----

A couple of hours later Olivia found herself at the dining room table in the home Xander and Alex shared. It was a pleasant looking two-story house; Olivia could see touches of Xander's carpentry in various places. The front porch had obviously had some work done. There were some very nice built in shelves lining one wall of the living room. The railing on the staircase had been upgraded.

It turned out Andrew was the chef for the evening and he was surprisingly good. Most people around the table had beef tenderloin that Olivia felt was better than most restaurants. She saw that Willow was enjoying a stuffed and roasted Acorn squash that looked delicious. She found herself having seconds of Andrew's roasted potatoes and garlic.

For a second she thought the strong garlic had something to with vampires before Willow pointed out that the vampire aversion to garlic was mostly a myth. The few cases where a vampire was affected by garlic usually turned out to be a psychosomatic reaction.

The early part of the evening's conversation floated around catching various people up on what was happening in their lives. As the evening progressed a large portion was devoted to embarrassing stories about Xander, for which he always had an equally embarrassing counter story.

"So you all ended up as your Halloween costumes?" Olivia asked.

"Yea, I got to be the bad ass soldier," Xander explained. "Willow was a skanky ghost and Buffy ended up as annineteenth century maiden who screamed at cars because she thought they were demons."

"I was not skanky," Willow said.

"In that outfit," Xander said. "Would you prefer slutty ghost?"

"It was a pretty revealing outfit," Buffy said.

"You made me wear it," Willow countered. "Said I had to shed my old skin, that Halloween was a chance to be a new person."

"And I thought the new you should be a skank for one night," Buffy smiled back.

"I'm so hexing you into the middle of next week," Willow said.

"You know, we never did have a truly quiet Halloween in Sunnydale," Buffy said. "I blame Giles for that."

"What ever did I do to deserve the blame for that?" Giles demanded.

"You jinxed us G-man." Xander answered. "You made that huge deal our junior year about how demons don't do Halloween, how they think its blasé and over commercialized. How humans had corrupted its true meaning. So they all decided to take the day off."

"You know," Dawn said. "That is true, you did jinx Halloween from that point forward."

"Perhaps," Giles replied. "But I am not the one who went on a date with vampire on Halloween."

"I didn't know he was a vampire at the time," Dawn replied.

"I haven't heard this one yet," Faith said. "Little Dawnie got herself some vampire action."

"One kiss," Dawn said. "Then I staked him."

"Just one kiss huh," Faith said. "I guess Buffy's the only one in your familyallowed to get past first base with a vampire."

"I wasn't the one who tried to seduce a brat'ic'tic demon," Buffy said.

"It worked," Faith replied. "He opened the portal and then it was off with his head."

"When exactly did you try to seduce a demon?" Robin asked.

"A few months ago," Faith replied. "Me and B got stuck in a little pocket dimension during our last trip down under. The only way out was to get the demon to open the door for us. I only did it because I wanted to get home to you."

Robin smiled and shook his head.

"Is this a typical night for you guys?" Olivia asked.

"Not yet," Buffy answered.

"What makes it a typical evening?"

"You'll know it when you see it," Dawn answered.

"I know it seems I've pestering you guys with questions," Olivia said.

"No more than anyone else who comes here for the first time," Dawn said. "Truth be told, you actually ask good questions."

"Thanks," Olivia said. "But why don't you guys tell people what's going on here?"

"This one's mine," Andrew jumped in. "I get to answer this one."

"So what's the answer?" Olivia asked.

"Have you ever seen the movie Men In Black?" Andrew asked.

"No."

"Really?" Andrew looked shocked. "You really should see it some time. Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones. Great special effects. The whole concept of aliens living among us…"

"Andrew," Giles interrupted.

"Yes."

"The explanation."

"Oh yea sorry," Andrew said. "I just can't believe someone hasn't seen such a good movie. I mean it's already become a classic…"

"Andrew," Giles said. "Sometime before the wedding starts please."

"Ok," Andrew conceded. "Anyway, Olivia, there's this scene in the movie where Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are sitting on a park bench. Will Smith just learned that aliens are real and have been living among us for decades. So he asks Tommy Lee Jones why don't they just tell people that aliens are real. 'People are smart. They can handle it.' Tommy Lee Jones replies that 'a person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals."

"So," Olivia said.

"He was right," Andrew said. "If we told the world and provided proof that magic was real, what do you think would happen? It would be like shouting 'fire' in a crowded theater."

"Consider your reaction Olivia," Giles said. "You've spent the past two days surrounded by people who can answer your questions and cushion the blow so to speak. That is not possible with a large group."

"We have enough trouble dealing with people who accidentally stumble on the supernatural or play with things they don't fully understand," Dawn said. "Image a world where your next door neighbor tries a curse because your dog barks to loud. Where everybody knows they can do something magical and constantly tries. All it takes is few people messing around and the world could literally go boom."

"Some people would take the news calmly," Willow said. "But a lot of people would react in a panic. Proof that somebody you know could cast a spell on you. It could make the Inquisition look like a minor disagreement at a church social. Humanity isn't ready to learn the full truth about how the world works."

"It's like Tommy Lee Jones said," Andrew added. "'Fifteen hundred years ago everyone knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was flat.' Two days ago you knew the supernatural didn't exist."

"Think about how leaders and people responded to those truths," Dawn said. "It wasn't pretty. And that was before instant communication and before those panicky people had access to nuclear weapons. It will a long time before the world is ready these truths. Until then we'll do everything we can to make sure they're still here when they are ready."