Secrets

Chapter Nine: Loneliness

(Disclaimer: I don't own any HP titles…)

(Disclaimer: I own no songs in this chapter, either…)

As the potions bell rang the next day, I grabbed my things, eager to get away from Snape.

"Miss Granger, please come here." He said in an amused tone. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

"Yes, professor?" I asked. Draco passed us, giving me a small smile. Obviously Snape hadn't told him…yet.

"Draco, please come over here, I've some interesting news for you…"

"I must be going…" I said, turning to walk away. Snape quickly grabbed a firm hold on my wrist, pulling me back to his desk. "Ow, professor… that hurts…" The scene with Harry replayed in my mind as I imagined Draco's reaction when Snape spilled my secret.

"Professor, you're hurting her… stop, please...!" Draco said, taking a step closer to me.

"Draco, last night, I was patrolling when I found a certain couple in the Astronomy Tower… snogging."

Draco immediately looked at me, confusion and worry in his eyes. "Draco, no! It's not what it sounds like!"

"Who was the couple?"

"Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley."

"Draco, just listen to me!"

Tears sprang to my eyes as I saw the hurt look in Draco's eyes. His emotion was quickly hidden behind a curtain of ice, blocking out any visible feelings. Snape dug his fingernails into my skin, puncturing my skin, before letting me go.

"Say what you want, Granger… It yet won't justify your deeds…" Snape said in a bored yet amused tone.

"Ron's going out with Luna Lovegood, and he wanted me to show him how to kiss! Draco, I know it's a stupid excuse, but I swear on my life that it's true!"

"You shouldn't make such bets, Granger." Draco said coldly. Granger. He called me by my surname. Granger. It hurt so badly! I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

"You're right, Malfoy. I'll bet a little something less; your life." I sad icily. I nodded to the two men. "Goodnight Snape. Ferret Boy." I walked out of the room briskly, letting tears fall down my cheeks. When I was out of earshot of the two men, I started running. Sobs escaped my mouth, echoing down the hallways.

"Hermione?" I heard a surprised voice from behind say.

"Hm?" I turned around finding Harry standing behind me. I ran into his open arms, sobbing loudly into his shoulder.

"Hermione, what's the matter? Did that ferret do this to you?"

I looked up at him with teary eyes, not saying anything, but my expression telling all.

"Oh, I'll kill him! That stuck up little fu-"

"Harry," I said, my voice wavering. "Don't. Please, don't… I brought this on myself…"

Harry put a gentle hand to my cheek and stoked me with his thumb. "I'm so sorry I hurt you… I shouldn't have… I really do love you… You and Ginny are so alike, you know that?"

I smiled, ignoring the crazy thoughts in my head. Harry picked me up bridal style and carried me into the Gryffindor common room, both of us not noticing the Fat Lady's questioning looks. He set me down on the couch and kneeled down in front of me, taking my hands in his. Harry was about to say something when he looked down at my hands, noticing the blood trickling out of the spots where Snape has dug into me.

"Hermione…"

"Harry, it's nothing-"

"No, it's not nothing! Who did this to you?"

"S-Snape…" I said softly.

"SNAPE? OH, I'LL GET HIS AND HIS LITTLE FERRET, TOO! THEY HAVE SOME NERVE DOING-" But I interrupted him, putting a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"Shhh, Harry!" I whispered. "Someone'll hear us."

Harry then swept me into a deep kiss, shoving his tongue into my mouth. At first I eagerly kissed back, putting in everything that I had, but then I remember something; Ginny. I pulled back, pushing myself away, placing my hands on his chest.

"Harry… What about Ginny?" I asked, careful not to anger him.

Harry gulped. "S-She broke up with me this morning."

"Oh, Harry…" I pulled him into my arms, stroking the back of his head gently.

"D-Do you think…" Harry started, trailing off.

"Do I think what?"

"Do you think," Harry said nervously. "That we could try dating again?"

This caught me by surprise, though I knew I should've expected it. Did I really want to risk being hurt like that again? What if Draco came back to me? God, why are men so complex?

"Harry, I don't know…" I said, pulling away from my warm embrace and looking at the floor. "I-I… just don't know right now."

XxX

"Memory all alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the old days-

I was beautiful then.

I remember the days when I knew what happiness was;

Let the memory live again."

I sang into the moonlight, letting all of my built up emotions pour out of me, mimicking the tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Touch me!

It's so easy to leave me!"

I couldn't continue, though, for I was sobbing uncontrollably now. I crawled into a dark corner and clutched my knees to my chest. I thought of how stupid I was to go snogging Ron (even if it was for a good cause) out in the Astronomy Tower, where I was now. The fast that that was the room I was in brought even more tears streaming down my face. Why was this so hard? Why couldn't this just be easy? What did I do to deserve this?

I stood up, returning to the wide, full- length window facing the Hogwarts grounds. I saw a figure slip out of the shadows and into a field, his identity being revealed by the gorgeous moonlight.

Draco Malfoy made his way to the middle of the field separating Hagrid's hut from the castle. He sat down and lay on his back, putting his hands behind his head and gazing up above. I remember the night he told me he did that. He said he thought it was stupid, but I thought it was just as crazy as me singing in the Astronomy Tower.

"Have you ever been cold?

So pale, chilled and bold?

Love, that's how I feel,

And yes, I'm real.

My insides, my soul,

Went down the black hole.

And, love, I'm so alone

With but my skin and bones.

As thoughts run through my head,

I feel as empty as the dead.

But as I think more and more,

Hope came crawling through my door."

I sat down as I continued singing into the night, ignoring Draco's presence, not caring if he heard my depressing song. Why would he care anyway? He didn't believe me! But who would believe my story? There was no evidence. I had no alibi. I assumed that by yelling at me and calling me 'Granger,' that Draco had broken up with me.

I changed songs;

"From this valley they say you are going,

I shall miss you bright eyes and sweet smile.

But remember the Red Rive Valley,

And the young girl who loved you so true."

"Why can't this be fair?" I asked no one. I imagined someone- anyone- sitting next to me, listening. "I know I'm making a huge deal out of this… But who wouldn't? Draco… he thinks I'm cheating on him…" When I looked down again, Draco had gone. I let out a sigh, stood up and walked out of the Astronomy Tower.

As I reached Gryffindor Tower, I heard someone in the hallway to my right. Thinking of how I had a little bit of time before one o'clock, I followed the sounds. I traced them to Draco being pushed against a wall by India. He tried pushing her away, but she forced herself onto him, pushing her lips against his fiercely. Draco finally got her off of him and walked briskly toward me, having not known that I was there. I pretended that I was coming from the other corridor and ran into him.

"Hello Malfoy." I said simply. It pained me so badly to call him that… I love him so much…

"Hello Granger." He replied, walking by my side.

"May I ask what you're doing out here at one in the morning?"

"I should be asking the same thing of you."

"You should know what I do on nights I can't sleep. I told you when we were…" I trailed off, leading to an awkward silence. "We have broken up, haven't we?"

"Not cordially."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"It's up to you. Do you believe me or Snape?" I asked, stopping and turning back towards Draco.

"You. Blaise was in the Tower that night… He goes up there to read a lot… He saw and heard everything. I believe you, Hermione." I smiled. "I wasn't going to admit that in front of Snape, though. He'd flip. I really think it's best to just keep 'us' a secret again… Didn't you love the thrill of it, though? Sneaking behind people's backs…"

I turned my smile into a smirk and raised an eyebrow. "Do you not remember what happened the last time we did that?"

"Next time we decide to tell someone about it, I'll be there and won't let you out of my sight." I smiled and let him wrap me in his arms. "Now, let's head up to the Tower… I need to talk to you…"