Chapter Eighteen - Choices
During the rest of the drive, Olivia had what was probably the first 'normal' conversation she'd had since arriving on Tuesday. She and Kate talked police work and old cases. Comparing and contrasting police work in New York with police work in LA. It was a pleasant diversion from the bizarre world of the supernatural she had been dealing with for the past two days.
Olivia wasn't sure what to make of everything she'd learned. She had already started to develop an intellectual acceptance that the supernatural was real, but what she saw this morning shook her.
Buffy and Faith were unreal. They moved and fought like something out of a movie. More than that, they both seemed so much more alive when they were fighting. The power was almost overwhelming.
But Janie was a different story. The girl had barely been able to control herself at first. But Olivia saw that change. Buffy and Faith put her in a position that forced her to change. There had to be a better way. Fifteen year old girls don't belong on the front lines of a war. But what do you do with a fifteen year old girl who was strong enough to rip someone's head off?
Olivia shook her head as the car pulled up the campus's front entrance and Kate lowered her window to deal with the security system. When they pulled into the parking lot Kate led Olivia to the admin office in the main building. She knocked on the door to the principal's office and opened the door.
For some reason Olivia wasn't surprised to see Giles and Dawn waiting for her as she came in. Olivia glimpsed around the office. It was pretty sparse. What caught her attention was the gorgeous picture on the wall. It was a pencil drawing of three women. In the center was Dawn. She recognized Buffy's picture to right of her sister. She did not recognize the other woman.
"The woman on the left is my mom," Dawn said.
"This is a beautiful picture," Olivia replied. "Who ever drew this did an amazing job. I've never seen a drawing like this. It's almost like he captured your essence."
"It was done by a friend," Dawn said. "An artist of rare Vision."
"I've delivered one New York City detective as directed," Kate said.
"Thank you Kate," Giles said. "Apologies for interrupting your vacation."
Kate shrugged, "Olivia it's been a pleasure to meet you."
"You too Kate," Olivia answered shaking the other woman's hand. Kate nodded to Giles and Dawn as she left the office.
"Take a seat detective," Giles motioned to one of the chairs in front of the desk.
"I take it this is Buffy's office," Olivia said as she sat down.
"Yes," Giles replied. "She allows me to use it when I'm in town. I imagine there are some things you would like explained."
"I'm just trying to understand," Olivia said.
"Yes," Giles said. "I would have preferred Buffy and Faith not take you on that particular excursion."
"You're in charge," Olivia noted. "Why didn't you stop them?"
Giles smirked and shook his head. "Detective Benson, I figured out less than a day after meeting Buffy that we would never have the traditional Watcher Slayer relationship. That is even more true now. I may be the Head of the Council on paper. But quite honestly the position is mostly administrative. When it comes to the Slayers, Buffy and Faith have final say. That was made abundantly clear to me five years ago," again Giles shook his head. "I still don't know how they managed to get so many Slayers into LA without me knowing about it."
"What?"
"Another one of those really long stories," Dawn said. "And we don't need to open that can of worms today."
"Yes quite," Giles paused. "We occasionally need to deal with outside groups. Tell me detective, who do you think makes the better representative; a blonde haired southern California woman, who likes to talk about shopping for shoes; a one eyed carpenter with a tendency towards one liners and sarcasm; perhaps the red-headed lesbian witch; maybe the confessed murderer," Giles glimpsed at Dawn, "Or perhaps the 22 year old CEO with a penchant for playing embarrassing practical jokes?"
"Hey," Dawn looked shocked. "I resemble that remark. I do a good job with outside groups. Better than Buffy."
"In other words," Olivia cut in, "you got the job because you're an adult."
"As Xander put it so eloquently the other day," Giles said. "I have dignity," he shot another glance at Dawn. "Despite the efforts of some to strip me of that dignity."
There was a knock on the door. "Enter," Giles said.
Olivia turned in time to see Kennedy come through the door. "You guys wanted to see me?"
"Yes come in please Kennedy," Giles motioned with his hand.
"Where's Willow?" Dawn asked.
"Willow's on 'Xander Patrol,'" Kennedy answered as she sat down in the last open chair. "She says she's not letting him out his sight until he says 'I do.' So unless there's an apocalypse going on, she's otherwise engaged for the rest of the afternoon."
"Very well," Giles said. "Buffy took Olivia with her this morning."
"Willow said Buffy was thinking about doing that last night," Kennedy nodded. She looked at Olivia. "Little shocking, wasn't it?"
"Yes it was,' Olivia said. "How could they do that to that little girl?"
"That 'little girl' is a Slayer," Kennedy replied. "And she was in danger of losing control of herself. Of letting the Slayer control her."
"Why do you all talk like that?" Olivia said. "You call yourselves Slayers, but you also talk about the Slayer like its something separate from you."
"Because both are true," Kennedy answered. "I am a Slayer. But that part of me is also connected to something else. Something that was here long before people showed up in the world."
"Buffy said something similar yesterday," Olivia said. "But that's not an answer."
"Yes it is," Dawn said. "You want to do the spiel Giles?"
"Detective," Giles began. "Contrary to popular mythology, the world did not begin as a paradise. It began as hell. Pure demons walked openly. They ruled this plane of existence. Then something changed. The animals began to rise. The pure demons left, died off or went to sleep. The process took millions of years. And humanity arose during that time. By the time we appeared there were only a few pure demons still left on this world. One of the last fed on the blood of a human, and in turn allowed that human to feed on some of its blood, its essence. That was how the first vampires were created."
"What does that have to with Slayers?" Olivia asked.
"The demons left," Dawn took up the explanation. "But they left behind servants and lesser demons. Vampires being the most obvious and numerous. Humans had no real defense. A group of men, we call them the 'Shadowmen' found a way to infuse the essence of one of the last pure demons into the body of a young girl of their tribe. They created the first Slayer."
Olivia looked in shock at Kennedy. "Are you saying that you are empowered by a demon?"
Kennedy shrugged. "Yes. But that doesn't mean what you think it does."
"What does it mean?" Olivia asked. "Because you guys fight demons. They're supposed to be evil."
"Olivia," Giles said in a calming voice. "Good and evil are concepts that first and foremost involve the ability to choose. You don't call a shark evil because it kills someone. The ancient demons were not creatures of choice. At least not most of them. They were more like the Greek or Roman pantheon of Gods. They were personifications of ideals."
"I don't follow," Olivia said.
"The demon that was infused into that girl was a pure hunter a fighter," Dawn said. "That was its nature. That's all it existed for."
"But I choose what it hunts," Kennedy said. "That's the real power. Buffy kept trying to explain it to us at the beginning. But back then she didn't really have the words. So it took a while before I got it."
"But you still have to hunt," Olivia nodded.
"Yes," Kennedy replied. "Like Dawn said, that's what the Slayer exists for. But like I said, the real power is our ability to choose. The Slayer may give us strength, speed, senses. But I give it purpose. Some of the girls are blinded by the strength. They mistake that for power. Janie was doing that. The Slayer wanted to hunt, so she wanted to hunt. But that's all she wanted."
"And that's not enough," Olivia said.
"Not if you want to survive," Kennedy said. "First rule of Slaying: Don't die."
"What's the second rule?" Olivia asked.
"Don't die," Kennedy answered. "Buffy wanted to make sure that one was stressed."
"It's still not right," Olivia said. "You did this to these girls, put something into that they can barely control."
"We had no choice at the time," Giles said. "The First had an army. We had two Slayers. We needed more. If we hadn't done this, the world would be awash in demons now. Hell would have returned to Earth."
"The crisis passed," Olivia said. "Change them back."
"We can't change them back," Dawn said.
"Why not?" Olivia asked.
"Magic has a price," Dawn said.
"That's not an answer," Olivia said. "Not for what you are doing to those girls."
"It's different for all of us," Kennedy said. "Most of the girls get it pretty easily. Talking, working with the other Slayers, they get control. A couple are like Janie. They need to be pushed into finding that control. In New York she was trying to sneak out alone. If Mona hadn't of been watching over her, she'd be dead by now. The fact that the old Council didn't understand the nature of the Slayer is probably why so many of them didn't make it past their first year."
"Just how many girls have died in this war?" Olivia asked.
"The Slayers have existed since at least the dawn of history," Giles said. "Most likely even before that. Six, maybe seven thousand years. We really don't know. The Watcher's Council in its previous form dates from roughly the ninth century AD. The previous group that had stewardship of the Slayer line dated back to perhaps the eighth century BC. What came before that? We can only guess. What little we know comes from the Slayers themselves."
"Seven thousands years of girls fighting alone," Dawn said. "And dying alone. From the archives we know that the average Slayer's life expectancy back then was less than five years. Aside from Buffy and Faith only seven other Slayers are recorded to have survived more than decade on the job. They are now the longest serving Slayers on record."
"That's wrong," Olivia said.
"That's magic," Dawn said. "In order to create something powerful enough to protect them and humanity from the demons, the Shadowmen had to sacrifice something of value. The more valuable the sacrifice, the more powerful the protection humanity would gain. This all happened millennia ago. When humans lived hand to mouth. One of the most singularly valuable things to any tribe in those days was a young woman. A person who could give birth too and nurture the next generation. So that's what they offered. In return they received something powerful enough to hunt down and destroy the things that were hunting down and destroying them. They got the Slayer."
"Think about it detective," Giles said. "All great religions have an element of sacrifice to them. In Christianity, it was the Son. In so called pagan faiths it might be an animal or valued member of the tribe. In some belief systems, its desire that must be surrendered, the pleasures of the flesh so to speak. But the pattern is the same in all. In order to gain something, in this case survival for humanity, something must be sacrificed."
"The Slayers," Olivia whispered. "Faith said there has never been a retired Slayer."
"And there never will be," Kennedy said. "Once a Slayer, always a Slayer. Don't get me wrong detective. I'm not looking to die. And I sure as hell plan on fighting it as long as I can. That part of me that needs to hunt is always there. Maybe if I live long enough it will go away. I doubt it. But there are enough of us now that we can have real lives. I don't have to give everything to the Slayer the way they used to."
"You didn't get to choose to be a Slayer," Olivia said. "They took away your life. Put you on the front lines of war," she turned too look at Giles and Dawn. "You did that too all these girls."
"Like Giles said," Dawn replied. "We didn't have choice."
"Then change them back," Olivia said.
"Have you not been paying attention detective," Giles said. "Magic comes with a price. We paid a high price to survive the First. What price would have the world pay to return it to the state it was before all this began?"
Olivia stared at Giles. She was working everything through in her mind. "This all goes back to Buffy doesn't it? She really did find a way out. That's what started all this. What happened too her? What did being the Slayer do to her?"
"That's her story to tell," Dawn said. "My guess is she'll tell you when she gets back."
"What?" Giles sounded surprised. "That's not something Buffy shares."
"She wouldn't have shown Olivia Janie's test if she wasn't planning on telling her everything," Dawn said.
"Why?" Giles asked.
"I've got some ideas," Dawn said. "We'll just have to see how it plays out," Dawn turned her attention back to Olivia. "You don't understand yet Olivia. When it comes to magic, it's not a question of what you can or can't do. The question is; what are you willing to pay or sacrifice to accomplish your goal?"
A/N – I realize it's been a while since I've updated this particular fic. I'm going to be honest about why.
This story has gotten away from me. When I started writing this I had something completely different in mind from what it has become. It was going to be a relatively light story focusing on Olivia and Alex. I didn't think through the implications of dropping a character like Olivia into the middle of the Slayer world. The kinds of questions she would ask the things she would see and focus on. The story ended up going in a completely different direction from what I planned.
So before I could move on I've had to re-evaluate where I was going. A lot of the stuff I had planned on doing in this fic is going to have to be abandoned. Part of the reason I've been having such a hard time moving forward is I keep trying to force that stuff back in. So I jettisoned it.
Hopefully that means updates will come a quicker. I don't know. This story has proven to be the most stubborn thing I've ever written. For a few moments I debated abandoning it. But I'm not going to do that. It's going to take longer than I planned, but I will finish this story. Just as soon as I figure out what that ending is going to be.
