Ragweed: Okay, I lied, there is going to be an itty-bitty-tiny-winy bit of romance in the story. I won't put you through the mental torture of having to actually reading anything, (Like I said, I can't write romance to save my life) but it's more reminiscing of a time an old time when life was good and…I'll shut up now. Well, the plot finally starts to pick up and gets far more interesting, so thanks for bearing with me this long! Enjoy! Oh yes, and thank you to the only reviewer, Beguile, I'm glad you enjoyed the first to chapters so much!


Crimson-Stained Shards of Memory

Chapter 2: Fire and Ice

"Some say deep-sleep is dreamless, that we dream only when we have just fallen asleep, or are moments from waking. That sensation of dreaming is caused by racing brainwaves caused by the disturbance of the process of waking or falling asleep. Others say that we dream throughout the entire duration that we sleep, yet when we wake we remember only fragments and moments of the entire dream."--The Plague Dogs, Richard Adams

.:I:.

Gabriel crossed himself, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

"It's getting old, Van Helsing," said Carl as he pushed clumsily past his friend, knocking Gabriel back, and swung open the door to the confessions booth of the abbey and traveled down the torch-lit staircase leading under the abbey. "I would expect you of all people to realize that what you do is not evil. I'm sure the God forgives you."

"It's not as simple as that."

"Well I'll be damned if it isn't that simple," said Carl and he gave Gabriel a cheeky, smirk out of the corner of his eye as if to say, 'Yes, I know what I said.'

Gabriel rolled his eyes at his friend. "You wouldn't understand," he said as the two came into the bustling stone cavern of the Order. Monks scurried this way and that, going about there everyday business. Over in the arsenal, many of Carl's newest weapon works-in-progress remained untouched since they had left near three months ago. Carl let the large sack of weaponry, rations from the journey and other random things he had packed drop with a clatter to the limestone floor. As he did, Cardinal Jinette appeared from around the stone corner carrying a number of old text scrolls from the abbey's library.

"Ah, Van Helsing and Friar Carl," he announced with sweeping open arms, as he saw the two men. "I see you've returned from journey to Romania. And alive as well. That's always good."

"Yes, coming back alive was something I was hoping for," Carl said with a friendly smile.

"It is good to see you both again. I have already gotten word from Transylvania," said the Cardinal, a pleased smile forming on his aged face. "You were successful in slaying Count Dracula?"

Both nodded slightly, sullen and brooding eyes drifting to the floor.

"And the Valerious family?"

Gabriel and Carl looked uneasily at each other. Gabriel dropped his sullen gaze to the floor. Carl spoke again, "Um, unfortunately, both Prince Velkan and Princess Anna were killed as well," his voice waved slightly and Carl could feel tears burn in the back of his eyes.

The Cardinal nodded understandingly, "I see." He paused for a moment and crossed himself. "Well, may they find peace in Heaven. I must say Van Helsing, this was most likely one of your toughest assignments yet. And I assume," he looked Gabriel straight in the eye, "that you found the answers you were looking for."

Gabriel closed his hand over his ring with the Valerious family emblem engraved on it. His lips became a thin line and he nodded. The Cardinal gave a knowledgeable smile, "Good then. Well, it is getting late, I'm sure you're both very tired. You can get something to eat if you wish, but other than that, get some sleep and see what the morning brings us."

"Yes," said Carl with a slight bow. He picked his cloth sacks up from the ground and swung them over his shoulder. He and Gabriel started off down one of the many stone hallways that lead this way and that from the armoury. When they took different turns Carl waved a goodnight to Gabriel and continued onward.

Gabriel walked absently through the stone hallways of the abbey underground, his mind wandering elsewhere. In one hand he held Carl's crossbow, in the other, his bag was slung over his shoulder. Small torches and brass candlebras were the only source of light in the arching halls. Wooden doors led off into rooms that housed the abbey's many inhabitancies. He turned various corners as the corridors twisted and turned in a seemingly endless labyrinth. He came to one of the wooden doors and twisted stained copper the handle open. Inside was a small cot a dripping wax candle on a dresser and a bedside table. Dropping his bag, crossbow and leather coat in a heap onto the stone floor, Gabriel lay down onto the thin cot. Placing his wide-brimmed hat on the small table next to the cot, Gabriel rolled over onto his side and fell into a troubled sleep full of horrific nightmares. What had he expected?

The ballroom was decorated in the utmost aristocratic elegancy. A massive fireplace burned with red fire at one end of the room, a long mahogany table that could have seated forty people stretched along the length of the room. Massive enragements of flowers of every imaginable type sat around the room as well as the huge oil paints that hung over the mantle. It was night, and it was raining. Lightning flashed through the massive, tall, glass windows that lined one side of the room. Rain battered the room and you could hear it through the roof in mind numbing repetition. The rain pounded the tall windows, blurring and stirring the view outside into countless, swirled, shades of grey.

Standing at the sill of one of these towering windows, two people stood together gazing out at the rain. One man and one woman. The man stood with his arm around the woman's shoulder, holding her tightly to his side. They stood in silence as the rain drummed on the windows. Suddenly, there was another violent flash of lightning and the woman screamed and buried her face into the man's chest. The man was slender and fair-skinned. He wore a black jacket with golden thread embroider woven in. His long black hair was pulled back, save one or two strands that framed his fine-featured face. But his eyes…eyes of blazing emerald green shone in what little light there was. The woman was about the same age as the man. Her curly, dark-brown hair fell near to her waist. She wore a deep claret gown that hugged her slim figure and hung at her ankles. Amber eyes stared out from her fair skin.

As the lightning vanished and the roll of thunder died, the woman pulled away from the man's grasp. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him in a loving embrace. There was another flash of lightning that cast a long shadow of the two along the alabaster floor.

And then suddenly he comes. Holding a dagger in his hands. The couple freeze in terror. Who is he? His face, is covered in shadow. Who is he!?

Everything becomes a blur after that. Screams. She was torn, violently from his grasp by someone. More screams. People running…shouting. And, suddenly, he was there. She screamed as the dagger cut into her neck. Blood poured from her neck. People ran and shouted. The woman shrieked and sank to her knees. Suddenly, the tall window shattered into a thousand glittering diamonds. And a massive, snarling, grey blur shot through the raining glass shards. The massive wolf skidded to a stop on the glass-riddled floor, savage red jaws snapping with ivory teeth. Roaring, the wolf siezed the Dagger Man's throat in its jaw, thrashing its victim like a limp doll. Then, turned to the shattered sill, and dove out into the night air, dragging the limp Dagger Man from his jaws.

Gabriel woke with a start. His body shivered in a cold sweat. Darkness filled the room, only a soft blue-silver glow of the moon filtered through a small, open, window near the ceiling. The dream was going further now. At first he had seen only the two standing at the window, but now. He could see the man come and…he would kill the woman, and then the man. He couldn't see who it was though. The man with the dagger.

Gabriel sat up and held his head in his trembling hands. He messaged the soft scalp underneath his thick curly hair. The dreams were becoming more intense now, more vivid. And they were the same, all the time now. No longer did they jump from battles of Rome to slaying of werewolves. Now…all he could see was the murder of these two people. This man, with the dagger, he couldn't see who he was. Why couldn't he see him? What was he suppose to remember? He didn't want to remember anything. About the past. Dracula's word still haunted him, 'I can give you back your memories!'

What memories? What was he meant to remember? What had he done that he could not remember? Questions whirred around in his head. Ever since this journey to Transylvania, more questions then answers had turned up. He turned his head out to stare out the window. The moon was draped in silver clouds that blotted out the grey light that cascaded down into the window. Who were these people in his dreams? Gabriel shook his head to try and clear his mind. There was still most likely a few more hours to sunrise, but Gabriel knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, not after the nightmares.

With an annoyed sigh Gabriel leaned his head back against the cold limestone of his small room above the rusty steel head of his bed. He closed his eyes and let the shock of the nightmare slip off his shoulders. Taking in a deep breath, Gabriel let his mind slip away and draw black and float like mist on empty blackness. Time was gone to him; it had no purpose to him for the time being. After long, gruelling journeys of vanquishing whatever the hell he needed to vanquish, to completely meditate out of time itself for a while is probably what kept him sane all these years. His breathing came in deep, slow breaths. His heart beat slower, less powerful, pushing blood slower and slower around in his body. The life in his body began to seep out of his skin, sending numbing ribbons of unfeeling crawling up his neck and head. Ribbons of numbness that veiled him in a half-conscious, hazy bliss of nothingness. Slow breaths, slow heart, ribbons of numbness, dulling his senses.

He guessed by now, somewhere in the waking recesses of his mind, that several hours had slipped away by now. He should probably wake up now, he thought to himself. Time past fast when he meditated and Carl will be wondering where he was. Gathering his mind back together he tried to open his eyes. He couldn't. Perhaps he was more tired then he thought. His mind still felt like it was separated from his body, like a wisp of mist floating on a wind. He re-gathered his mind again and tried to focus on establishing his mind in his body again. Nothing, he couldn't feel himself. This wasn't normal. He was too far down, to deep within himself. The ribbons of dim numbness, they were surrounding him, tightening their grip. They weren't releasing him this time. What was happening? Why couldn't he wake up?

The mist was darkening. A pounding numbness was exchanged for an icy chill in his body. His body? But he wasn't awake, yet he could feel himself. The silver mist swirled and thrashed around in the darkness, swaddling Gabriel in a frosty cradle.

Someone was there, someone was in his mind, he could feel whoever they were: cold. A pair of icy, porcelain hands slid over his shoulders from behind. Gabriel could feel the blood in the veins freeze under the icy grip. He couldn't tell who it was, the mist of half-consciousness had clouded his mind. But it was like he was standing there. Who was behind him?

Frosted claws dug into his flesh on his shoulders then released their grip and caressed the base of his neck. A voice, that terrible hissing voice. Smooth and soothing, yet sharp and snake-like at the same time.

"Gabriel…"

He tried to spin around to see who was behind him, but he couldn't move, he had no body to move in. God, he hated that voice. It haunted him. He had heard it so many times, he knew who it was. But…he couldn't remember. Why couldn't he! His mind screamed at him, Why the hell did you choose now to have a memory lapse?! You know who this is! Gabriel bristled with hate as it called from just behind his ear. He was right behind him, but he couldn't get to him. Because this wasn't real, he was lost in his own mind. Yet, he could feel ice cold claws on his shoulders. His mind pounded as tethers of burning ice climbed up to his head. Ice and fire at the same time. Or…was he keeping him here? What was going on?

"Gabriel…" his voice was soothing as smooth, icy hands stroked his shoulders. Gabriel tried to wake up again, he couldn't. What was happening? What was he doing?

"Gabriel…" the voice whispered into his ear as it echoed off in emptiness. "Can you feel me yet? I can feel the blood in your veins. Hot and sweet coursing in your veins. Yet, your heartbeat is so slow. I can feel it, thumping so slowly. Like you are asleep. You meditate, don't you? You can here me can't you? I'm right behind you. But this isn't you, you're just stuck in your own mind. Don't you remember?" frozen claws tightened on Gabriel's shoulder sending a spider web of icy strings through his body. "Don't you want to know, Gabriel? Don't you want to remember? I can give you your memories back. Everything you're missing, I can give it back to you. Why don't you want that? I can give everything back to you. You said that it was better to have no memories at all, is it? I can let you remember. Don't you want to remember, Gabriel?"

The mist was engulfing him. It swelled and swallowed up both of them. Gabriel could feel himself sinking further and further from his body and deeper and deeper into the half-conscious grasp of numb unfeeling-ness. He couldn't wake up, something was preventing him from waking up. Who was behind him? How could they speak to him? He needed to get out, he needed to wake up. They, whoever they were, couldn't get him if he woke up.

Let me go, Gabriel thought firmly.

"Go?" the voice said aloud as it whispered right behind Gabriel's ear. "Why would I let you go? After what you did to me. Twice!" The voice lost its soothing, fluid tone and regained its harsh, bone-chilling hiss.

This isn't real. I'm asleep, I fell asleep again. You can't hurt me. Who are you?

"You don't know me? You haven't figured it out yet? You know me…I know you do. But you can't remember, I can let you remember. I can give those memories back to you. You don't know what you did to me! I had done nothing wrong, you took everything away form me! Why shouldn't I take everything away from you?!"

Who are you? thought Gabriel desperately, What did I do to you?

"You do not know who I am!?" Ice-laced claws dug into his shoulders making Gabriel making him cringe pain. His muscles tensed as sickly cold veins crept down his body. Icy talons pressured his shoulders until they almost broke the skin. But then, a bolt of recognition hit the figure behind him as whoever they were remembered who Gabriel was, how important he was, and he released his clench on Gabriel's shoulders, leaving deep, painful indentations at the base of his neck. In shame, the figure let his cold hands slip off Gabriel's shoulders. The mist of half-conscious swirled around his head, enveloping Gabriel and whoever had invaded his mind. Gabriel could sense whoever was behind him. Their breathing in his ear was short and nervous, almost panicked. Yet he couldn't hear their heartbeat. Shouldn't it be racing? Why were they worried?! Who was this? Gabriel's mind screamed at him, wake up!

I can't, he's keeping me here. He's behind me, his hands are so cold…

Then try harder, his mind yelled at him.

Gabriel focused, he needed to wake up. He couldn't keep him here. No matter what evil he had tied him down with. Wake up, wake up! The mist and darkness cleared slightly. Gabriel could feel some sensation in his fingertips, back in his body. He was waking, yet the ribbons and mist were holding him back. Gabriel struggled the sleepiness, fighting to keep awake. He didn't try to stop him.

"Run if you wish," said the voice. No. It was a different voice, "He will see you again. You can't get rid of him now, Gabriel. You are bound."

Gabriel's eyes snapped open. His hands instantly shot to his shoulders. Nothing. The claws of icy fingers had vanished as if they never were. Had he fallen asleep, had the meditation brought him to deep within himself? His head still resting on the hard stone wall, Gabriel sat up straight. Who was this person? How had they spoken to him? Suddenly as he stretched out, the triangular scars on Gabriel's back burned with an icy pain that made him recoil. Odd, they had only hurt about a week before when he and Carl were returning from Transylvanian. But soon, the burning passed and Gabriel sat up again. Only after a few moments did Gabriel realize the stream of blue new-day sunlight spilling though the tiny window. It was day-rise, what time specifically he did not know, nor did he care.

With a sigh, Gabriel pulled himself up from the thin cot. He stretched his arms wide letting out the tension of the night. This dream, was it a dream? It had been like someone had invaded his mind, someone had come into his head. What had happened? Who had the voice been? He closed his eyes, trying to remember the voice. It was familiar. He had heard it before. Something about it triggered some lost, dormant memory in his mind that was trying to break free. He knew it, he did, but he couldn't place it.

"Damn it!" he yelled aloud on slammed his hand down on the small wooden table beside his bed. He could feel cold fingers of ice on his shoulder, but when he raised his hand to them, there was nothing. Had it really happened? Had he just imagined the entire thing? Had the fatigue finally caught up with him? Flopping back on the thin cot, closed his eyes again. Perhaps more sleep would do him good. But the sunlight sparkled in its river of blue and called for him to get up.

Having not undressed last night it was convenient that he was already dressed now. He picked his coat from the floor he threw it over his shoulders and opened the door. Even though it was February the air was still dry with the winter cold and Gabriel knew he would need his coat for leaving the abbey.

He didn't see anyone one worth talking to as he left the abbey. Carl was still probably asleep. He opened the trick door to the confession booth and stepped out in the abbey's Great Hall. Every footstep echoed in the massive building until it was magnified ten times louder then it really was. Alabaster, granite, quartz covered every imaginable surface of the Hall. Gold trim wove around giant marble pillars that supported the roof. On the walls, intricate paintings of angels and children filled the space, frozen in time. At the far end of the Hall, a massive stain glass window depicting a picture of the Virgin Mary and the Christ set in front of a crucifix, ablaze in sun-fire. Even the Notre Dame cathedral in France-- of which Mr. Hyde had so graciously shattered the centuries old Rose Window--couldn't compare to the size and beauty of this abbey.

But Gabriel was in no mood to marvel at the sight. He stormed out of the abbey, coat drawn over his shoulders, the brim of his hat brought deeply over his eyes to conceal his identity. He was still one of the most wanted men in Europe. No amount of praying or faith would change that. Pushing the great mahogany doors of the abbey open, Gabriel was meet with a crisp winter-spring air that left his breath in front of him. The sun streamed across the rooftops and cast peachy orange colours down on the city. A little ways ahead of him, along the walkway, the massive rough iron gates that kept all else out of the abbey stood like the bars of a prison against the bright new-day light. The guards gave Gabriel a hard look as the iron gates creaked open. Like a fortress, thought Gabriel, it was a metaphor he used often for the church.

Undeterred by the hard glances Gabriel continued out of the church. The Piazza San Pietro, a massive encircling stone plaza in front of the St. Peter's Basilica, stood solemn in the crisp air. His boots clacked on the alabaster stone of the plaza and Gabriel heard the bells chime as he passed to massive fountains that lined the way to the abbey. Gabriel didn't seem to notice the beauty of scene as he quickly left the Piazza San Pietro into the greater city of Rome.

Wandering to markets of the ancient city, Gabriel came upon a small stone patio that seemed like a small city square. The small stone court scurried about with people going about their everyday lives of trading and market.

In the centre of the small square, people gossiped and children played and pigeons waddled around looking for crumbs. Off on the edges of the plaza, merchants and market people stood by wooden stalls draped in cloth, were selling various good. Gabriel browsed through the markets, enjoying the richness of it all. Above all, Gabriel enjoyed looking at artefacts brought from other countries most. Diamond figurines from India, jewellery from Thailand, jade carvings from China, Spanish pirate gold from the Caribbean. And even a few traders from a young country called America sold small pieces of machinery and technology that Gabriel had never seen before. He had been told that America was a young country, only celebrating its centennial anniversary a few years ago, but that is had prospered in its short life so far and had become a wealthy country of the West. But for now, Gabriel was more drawn to the diamonds from India, then the strange iron machines from America, even though they were nothing short off something Carl would cook up in the armoury.

Trees folded their branches against the cold as a chilly gale blew though the plaza, causing the school of pigeons to take flight in unison. Winter was dieing hard even though February was coming to an end and the warmth of spring could be felt. Men grabbed for their hats as the gale died and the pigeons landed and began to peck at the stone ground once more.

Gabriel tossed the little jade carving in up and snatched it out of the air. The little thing had not cost much and Gabriel had nothing better to do. It was a Chinese carving of a tiger, an animal Gabriel had never seen. Carl had told him about them once. From what he had read, they were big orange cats with black stripes that lived in Siberia, capable of taking down a deer in one bite. But the carving looked more like a long tailed demon then a big cat. Oh well, Gabriel thought as he pushed open the abbey doors and came into the Hall.

Like so many past times he pushed open the screen in the confession booth and came down the stone staircase. Perhaps Carl was awake by now. He came into the Order's main chamber. Not many people were about yet, it was still well before nine o'clock. But over in the arsenal, Carl was sitting at a desk, pouring though countless books and texts in what little candlelight there was. Gabriel rolled his eyes. The friar's mind was never on less then three different topics at once. While Gabriel himself had trouble keeping his mind on a single topic at a time. Carl squinted in the dim candlelight. How the friar didn't go blind in the dim light was beyond Gabriel. With what looked like it could be a smile Gabriel came up behind Carl and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Carl," said Gabriel. Carl jumped three feet in the air straight from his chair which went skidding back a few ways. He sent paper and parchment flying around himself. Gabriel jumped back as well, suspired to say the least.

"Oh, Van Helsing its only you," gasped Carl with a sigh of relief, slumping relieved back into his chair.

Gabriel raised a suspicious eyebrow, "I'd hate to see what you would be like if I had been something else. Why so jumpy?"

"Well, when one is living a quiet life as a friar and scribe, having never been outside the abbey and never having to worry about anything, then is suddenly whisked away to the cold, frost-bitten misery that is Transylvania and spent the greater part of that journey in absolute terror of vampires, werewolves and eight feet high re-animated men, one becomes a little more tense!" said Carl with a certain amount of annoyance and volume.

Gabriel gave Carl a funny look, "I see," he said. Fixing the brim on his hat Gabriel leaned over the desk and studied the books and papers that swallowed the Carl's desk, "What wonder of the world are you studying this time?"

"Just reading about the Crusades." muttered Carl tonelessly. His dramatic spell had past, as he gathered scattered papers back together once more. "What do you have there?" He said, noticing Gabriel's gloved fist enclosing something.

Gabriel placed to jade tiger on the desk, "Just something I picked up at the market."

"Ah," said the friar picking up the little figurine, "a jade tiger from China yes?"

Gabriel gave an uncaring shrug, "That's what I was told."

"What did you get it for?"

His friend's voice was toneless and half-hearted, "No reason in particular."

Carl looked up at his friend, he noticed an absence in Gabriel's eyes. A dullness, something very unlike his friend, "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"About what?"

"You seem a bit distant since we've returned."

"I'm just tired."

Carl wasn't convinced, "Are you sure?" he said placing the little jade carving back on the a free spot on the desk.

"Yes," said Gabriel snatching the figurine back.

"Well ever since Transylvania you've been very quiet and dulled. It's unlike you. I'm worried for you."

"Worried for what? This has nothing to do with Transylvania."

"Then about Dracula?"

"No!"

"Anna?"

"No!" Gabriel slammed in fist down on the desk, blowing some papers form away in the process. "If you want to help then you can stay hidden from the world down here in darkness and just shut up about Transylvania, and vampires, and Anna!" Gabriel tuned on the heel of his boot, causing his coat and long scarves to billow out in a circle, and stormed off down the stone hall his shoulders hunched and chin titled down to hide tears small forming in his eyes. Carl, taken aback by the viciousness of the comment, sat stunned and silenced almost as if in shame.

After Gabriel's footsteps could no longer be heard, Carl sighed. He truly was worried for his friend. He hadn't been the same since Transylvania. But then again, he himself probably wasn't the same. After such an uprooting journey, how do you pick up the pieces of you life and carry on a pretend nothing happened? But Gabriel must have been use to that by now. Whatever it was, Gabriel had changed, somehow. In a way that was different then Carl could explain with all his boundless knowledge. Someway that he couldn't quite grasp, not just yet.

As Carl gathered the parchments that Gabriel had tossed in his fit, he sighed inwardly with a worried sadness again as he saw the little jade tiger on the desk, smashed into dusty pieces.


Ragweed: Eek, did that 'meditation part' with Gabriel sound as slash-like as I think it did? Before anyone bites my head off, I want to say that have no problem with slash or any kind of homosexuality. I personally just can't write it at all without totally degrading someone. (Of all the romance I can't write, slash is the one I can't write the best…does that make sense?) So, this isn't going to be a slash fic, just thought I'd say that outright. Good.
Well, let me know what you think. I can't make it better if you don't tell me what's wrong. Don't just write 'it's great. Continue.' Like anyone would say that anyway. Don't you feel sorry for me?

Readers: No…

Ragweed: I didn't think so. Oh, yes and one last thing, I'm not American, so I think I got America's age right. (I checked in a book somewhere) But if I'm wrong, tell me and I'll change that right away.