"I was able to feel the neural energy flowing to my head and I felt the pain of my injuries lesson. The means of accomplishing this seemed to be the projection of thoughts, memories and feelings of the people linked to me. There were eight people in the link beside myself, Riley and another human, a Cardassian, Klingon, a member of a species called the Fanthar, a Vulcan, a Vidian and Orem who was the medic who tended to me. He was Romulan. I was able to experience their memories and they experienced mine. Many of them seemed specific to healing although there were one or two memories which were not. It was as if I was experiencing what it was like to be them and I was able to see myself through their eyes. Eventually a sense of peace overcame me and I fell asleep."

That what he had officially logged. It was a far cry from the actual experience.

"Computer pause"

Chakotay heard the beep as he picked up another PADD which was lying next to him. He began to read.

"Once fully assimilated, orders are received via the neural link which is imbedded in every drone. The voices that are heard over the link are an amalgamation of the entire Collective. There are different tones, but essentially one voice and one thought. There seemed to be an undercurrent of a different distinct voice who was in authority under the Collective, but I was never able to distinguish it. It seemed impossible that a Collective, which was so vast and spread out over such great distances, could form one such cohesive thought. That one this thought could form one directive, one plan of action and orders to implement that plan of action, for the various different tasks that the Borg were active in. But it was done every nanosecond of very day. When the orders are given, the whole being of the drone responds to carry out that order as they have been altered to do. The person's individuality cannot control what the drone does or even thinks, all it can do is lay dormant and watch in horror, when all the values that it has ever embraced, all the promises that it has ever made be destroyed, as the drone carries out the will of the Collective."

Picard's experience of being assimilated by the Borg was made known to the command crew of every starship in the Federation's Fleet. He was the only known survivor of the process. He could almost hear the voice of Picard getting angrier and raspier as the log went on. He understood. Chakotay had not been fully assimilated as Picard had been, and thankfully he had not been responsible for the death innocent lives, yet he was still enraged by what he had been forced to do. He couldn't imagine what Picard would have had to face after he had been rescued from the Borg. Having to live with the memory of Wolf 359 must be unbearable at times.

"Captain Jean Luc Picard's log dated 44084.7 includes a correct summary of what a person experiences when under the influence of the Collective Will of the Borg."

He made no distinction between the Borg that Picard had encountered and the ones that he did. All were the same. He began to understand that once one had been assimilated for a long time, there was no way to get rid of the Collective way of thinking and of doing things.


"Chakotay can you hear us"

At first it was faint, like an echo of what once was, but there was something different to the voice now, it held a desire of sorts.

"Chakotay, we need your help"

It was sudden, the loss of control his thought and his actions, and unexpected. He didn't even know that he had lost it until the next moment.

"I'm going to tell the doctor that he needed to look at you as soon as we get back. Torres to Sickbay."

He knew what he had to do.

"Don't do that." His phaser was drawn. It was then that all that was Chakotay, his soul, his individuality realized that he was not in control of his thinking and his actions anymore.

"Chakotay give me the phaser."

It was too late for that.

"Transport to 47-omega.

The bunker is under attack.

47-omega section 9, mark coordinates

We are under attack

9-alpha-alpha

We must hurry, the bunker is under attack

47-omega section 9,

"I am sorry Chakotay. I hope one day you can forgive me"

The thought, very faint, had come from Riley and was directed towards Chakotay's soul. He almost missed it as she joined the collective voices again.

It was also too late for that.

We are under attack"

He transported, he didn't know where he was supposed to be going, although the New Cooperative did. They could not do anything more that project their will on him. He was left with his own tricorder and their lingering memories of where he was supposed to go.

"Proceed to interlink consul 3-beta-6

Hear our thoughts,

Our thoughts are one

Interlink consul -beta-6

Hear out thoughts."

He heard voices. They were of the Voyager crew, he recognized them, but he knew that he had to avoid them, so he did. His soul was triumphant. They would stop him. They would stop him before he got a chance to do whatever it was that he was supposed to do.

"Lower right panel,

Attach power conduit 166

Hurry! Pathway pie-2

We are under attack, pathway pie-2

Activate Neural electric generator quickly.

NO

Power circuit mechanism

Activate the neural generator

HELP US!

We must activate the neural electric generator now

Chakotay need your help,

LOSING TIME!

NO, I WILL NOT.

His will struggled even harder now. The directive was issued by a panicked voice now. Chakotay did not know if this was because he was fighting them harder, or if it was the result of the threat that the New Co-Operative was under.

"Commander, step away from that consul or I will be forced to fire."

YOU MUST NOT LET THEM STOP YOU!

YOU MUST DO THIS!

And he fired on Tuvok, he had no choice. He could not break free of the will of the Cooperative. Someone caught him with a phaser blast and it caught him. He welcomed the darkness of the stun. He had not been able to complete the directive of the will of the co-operative and that what was most important.

YOU MUST MOVE POWER MECHANISM TO POSISTION 1!

Even though his mind was shutting down, they were able to control his body so that his last action was to do their exact bidding before he lost consciousness.


"Captain Jean Luc Picard's log dated 44084.7 includes a correct summary of what a person experiences when under the influence of the Collective Will of the Borg. When I was first linked to the eight members of the New Co-operative who healed me, there was no force of any kind. Neural electric energy was transferred to me via the link. Since I knew that it was going to cure me, I welcomed the thoughts, memories and images. It was as if we were sharing information only. There were no commands given, no orders, I did not know at the time that if I wanted to resist, I could not. The second time, resistance to the commands given across the link was indeed futile. It felt as if, my will, my individuality was shoved aside to make room for another, and try as I might I was not able to take control of my body and my actions. My actions were those of one possessed. I find it hard to believe that they were able to do such without a neural processor embedded in my brain. Somehow or the other the energy which is used as the basis for transmission in the link must be responsible for chemical and physical changes in a person's biology that makes resistance to a command transmitted over the link impossible. If it had not happened to me, if it did not have such terrible consequences I would find this ability of the neural electric energy to be truly fascinating. As it is, I am glad when I realize that all research done to will be in order to prevent this technology from ever stripping an sentient life of their individuality.

End log. "

Chakotay sat on his couch and let his body go slack. Making the official log had taken a lot out of him. He felt as if he had re-lived the experience in telling it.

The door chime sounded.

Chakotay sighed, he really did not feel like dealing with day to day ship's activities right now.

"Computer who is at the door?"

"Lt Torres." came the answer.

"Come." His voice authorized her access into his office, but he did not change his position on the couch. He felt as if he didn't have to with Lt Torres. She had seen him in far worst conditions than this.

B'Elanna came striding into the room and stopped when she realized that Chakotay was not in his usual position behind his desk. She located him at the couch and noted his body position on the couch. She came over and sat next to him. Chakotay felt guilty when he noted the PADD that she had been carrying. He had been away for a week, there were a lot of things that he was behind in and needed to be attended to. He straightened up on the couch.

"What do you have?"

"The Captain asked me to give you a copy of our Medical/Engineering Reports during the Borg Cube/New Cooperative encounter. She wanted you to cross reference them to what you wrote as your official report to see if we could find out any more information about the Borg that we could use in a tactical situation."

"Thanks," He began to scroll through the report.

B'Elanna studied him. She asked tentatively. "How are you doing?"

"After you beat me in three straight games of Hoverball, how do you think I'm doing?" he smiled at her.

"Your mind was not on the game that much last night, I knew that I was going to beat you. The experience still weighs heavily on your mind doesn't it?"

"Yes it does. It will take some time."

"Are you still thinking about her?"

"What?"

This time it was B'Elanna turn to smile. Chakotay looked like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"I know you Chakotay. You were intimate with her weren't you?"

It occurred to Chakotay that he could lie to B'Elanna or even tell her to mind her own business. But he didn't want to.

"Yes." He hesitated a little before continuing. "It happened after the link was severed the first time." Something occurred to Chakotay and he frowned. "Or at least when I thought it was severed. There were residual effects of the link for about an hour after the transponder was removed from my the base of my neck. When we were linked the first time, I realized that Riley's interest in my thoughts was different from the others. One of the thoughts that she chose to share with me was rather intimate, and I could feel her studying me as I experienced her memory of that incident. Afterwards when I shared what I thought about my experience with the link, I could still hear her thoughts and I realized that she wanted to be sexually intimate with me while we still had the lingering effects of the link. I realized that I had wanted that too."


Chakotay awoke and realized that Riley was not in bed with him. He lay in the silence of the morning thinking about the night before.

It had been incredible. More incredible than the link had been before. He had felt her desire towards him and he knew that she felt his. He knew because he was feeling it also. When they first touched, she touched herself. It was one of the most erotic things that he had ever felt. He reached out and touched himself and he knew how she responded when she felt his touch, because he responded in like fashion. That was just the prelude to the actual lovemaking. When they touched each other, the sensations that each felt were heightened to the n-th degree. For the first time in his life Chakotay knew what it was as a man to be on the receiving end of male sexual intimacy. He understood how the sensations gave pleasure to a woman, and felt that pleasure more than he would ever feel again. He also understood what it meant to be the giver of female sexual intimacy as he had always felt what it was like to be on the receiving end.

The link facilitated something else that made the experience truly unforgettable, was that he knew this woman with whom he was making love. He understood her, he had lived pieces of her life through the link. Had experienced what she experienced and felt what she had felt on an intellectual level as well as on an emotional level. Riley Fraser was strong, brave wise, beautiful, vulnerable, compassionate, persistent and intelligent. He knew her and in his knowledge possessed her completely in the physical act of their lovemaking. He would never possess anyone like that ever again. He would never possess himself like that again. Because of the link, possessing her was possessing himself. Chakotay had felt safe, happy, fulfilled, complete being with her, in her, and for her. He knew that Riley felt the same way.

The ability of the link in enabling two individuals to be that close was flabbergasting. After the two experiences of being linked to others, he found it hard to imagine being alone, an individual, never again to share with another on the level that the link had afforded. He wondered how Riley, Orem and the others found life without the effects to the link.

The effects of being severed were certainly apparent. If the ex-members of the Borg on this planet were still linked, there would be no more raids, no more hostilities and cultural intolerance. One will, one mind and one thought.

A thought struck him.

"Come on Chakotay, get out of bed sleepy head." Riley appeared naked in the room, using her towel to swat his bear buttocks.

"You promised to help us work on the communications array."

He laughed and rolled out of bed.

"I'm going, I'm going."

"Our lovemaking was a very intimate experience because of the effects of the link. I don't think that I will ever experience anything like that again." Chakotay marveled at his ability to understate his experiences.

He grimaced. "My track record in picking the wrong women to be intimate with seems to be getting better and better."

B'Elanna snorted. "I'll say". Too late B'Elanna realized that he was making a joke at his own expense. Chakotay got up from the couch and moved to the view port.

"The horror of it is I knew her better than I knew myself and she still managed to manipulate me like a puppet." He said quietly, his back to her.

B'Elanna got up and slowly went to the viewport. She realized when she got there that she had nothing to say. She touched his back lightly.

"I'm sorry Chakotay."

"So am I."

B'Elanna hesitated for a moment and then walked out of his office. Chakotay remained where he was standing for a long time, looking at the stars as they moved towards the alpha quadrant.