AN: Okay, this is my very first posted fanfic ever. I'm pretty curious about what you guys will think! I'm not sure how big the Laby fan base actually is, but I hope to please you all. I'm doing my best to steer clear of the normal "Jareth chases Sarah" type of fic. I want to be different. So, I hope you guys really enjoy this. Oh, and this whole intro was based on an actual show I went to. I didn't write any of the songs I used, and all but one of them belongs to the same guy. Anyone who can name the artist of the songs I'm using…well…you would be the coolest. So, I guess I'll give the answer in the next chapter. Oh, and I know there are a lot of lyrics in this fic, but try to actually read them. They're character development, I promise! Okay, I'm really going to let you get to the story now!
Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or any of its characters. Nor do I own any of the "non-Labyrinth" songs in the chapter, but I don't want to ruin the surprise…so I'll tell who the owner is in the chapters to come! All the other stuff is mine.
Warnings: Cursing and sappy folk songs!
Beautiful
Chapter 1: Keep Forgetting
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen
or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."
Helen Keller
"Come on! You should really get out of the house anyway. You know that's true. Just come and see this show with me. Raye has seen this guy a couple of times, says he's really good. Aw, come on Mrs. High-class-arts-fanatic. You know you're interested. Come on, it's nine now…it starts at eleven."
Sarah rolled over, away from her roommate, and uttered an inaudible grunt.
"Can I take that as a yes?"
Another grunt surfaced from beneath the barricade of pillows and blankets Sarah was hiding behind. "I'm asleep, can't you tell?"
"You don't sound asleep."
Finally, Sarah rolled over, poking her head out from under her comforter tentatively. "So, why is my presence necessary for this little outing Chris?" she asked as she settled back down into her bed.
"Well Sarah, there are several reasons. One, Raye is coming. You know how she is. I love her, but she'll just want to sit around and flirt with every guy she sees."
"You don't want to feel left out, so you bring me, so I can feel left out? Geez, thanks Chrissy, you're such a friend." Sarah sighed and rolled slightly, so she was looking at the ceiling.
"Is everything a guilt trip with you Sarah? No, that's not it. I just meant there isn't any class in our group without you." Sarah threw a pillow, but missed. "Another reason is I know you will like this! It's in little coffee shop type place about twenty minutes from here. All artsy and stuff. You know you'll like it." Chrissy, who had previously been sitting in a chair across the room from Sarah's bed, stood and walked over to physically put a hand on Sarah's forehead.
"Sarah, you've been holed up in this room for about a week now. You aren't dead, heck, you aren't even sick. Babe, Jason isn't coming back." She let the words sink in. Instead of sitting up, Sarah simply rolled the rest of the way over.
"Leave me alone. I'm asleep."
Chrissy sighed and took hold of the edge of the comforter. "Damn Sarah, I didn't want to have to do this. I am now, officially, staging an intervention." With that, she gave the cover a solid tug, causing Sarah to shriek in surprise as her flesh suddenly came in contact with the chill air of the apartment. Chrissy dodged another pillow, meant to be a projectile, with a laugh. "Oh Sarah, don't give me that look. Now, you find a towel. I'm turning the shower on. You stink."
The coffee house was dark and filled with smoke. The small stage was flooded with light, but there was no performer to be seen. All that adorned the stage was an acoustic guitar, a microphone, and a stool. Sarah coughed as she entered the building.
"For this I showered?"
Chrissy laughed. "Believe me Sarah, if you hadn't showered, this place would be cleared by now. Damn, it is crowded. You made us late, now we won't get good seats."
"I didn't mean to make you late. I shouldn't have come."
Sighing, Chrissy put a reassuring arm around Sarah's waist. "That's not what I meant. I'm glad you're here."
"Hey! Hey, Chris! Sarah!" cried a voice from across the room. Looking up, the two girls spied a pair of arms waving at them wildly. "Hey, come on! I saved you guys seats and everything."
They managed to weave their way across the sea of people with little incident. As soon as she arrived at their destination, Sarah was engulfed in an enthusiastic hug.
"Oh my gosh, Sarah! I really have missed you. I was going to come and visit you, but Chrissy said I would probably just make things worse. Like say something stupid or something. She's probably right, you know. So, I just won't say anything about how big of a dick Jason is. Okay?"
Sarah cracked a smile and hugged her friend again. "I missed you too Raye."
Soon, the three were engrossed in a conversation, oblivious to the crowed room. They ordered coffee and caught Sarah up on the events of the past few weeks.
"So," Chrissy asked after several minutes, "Are you glad to be out of the house?"
Sarah tried her best to smile at her, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I really do feel better Chris. Thank you. But," she struggled to change the subject, "knowing Raye's taste in music, I probably won't feel so good once this guy comes out on stage."
Raye smiled and shook her head. "Oh yes you will Sarah. I've seen him a couple of times. He's really talented. He's funny, and man, he's got this voice. Ah, I could just die."
"Doesn't hurt that he's good looking right Raye?" Chrissy asked with a knowing smile.
"Oh, so hot. So hot. Hey, I hadn't even mentioned that yet." Raye tried to look annoyed, but failed. "So what, I'm transparent." She leaned in, as if she was going to let the other two in on some sort of secret. "I don't know how to explain it, but every time I hear him sing, I feel like he's singing right to me. Has that ever happened to you guys?"
Chrissy shook her head, no, and sighed.
"What about you Sarah?"
"Well," She thought for a moment. So many years ago. But, yes, it had seemed like he was singing only for her. "Yeah, I felt like that…once."
"Really? When? Sarah, you've got to--" But their conversation was interrupted by the sounds of a guitar tuning up.
Sarah looked up, and felt her stomach drop. She wanted to stand up, but found that her legs wouldn't respond. Not while she watched those fingers carefully tune the guitar. Not while she saw that mouth tentatively hum a few notes into the microphone. She found her voice again, but only slightly. "Holy shit."
"I know, right!" Raye whispered in her ear, "Gorgeous. Wait till you hear him sing."
He did begin to warm up his voice, humming a few bars to a song. "Oh God," Sarah said, more to herself than to anyone else. She knew that song.
"Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel
Open and closed within your eyes
I'll place the sky within your eyes."
He coughed a few times, and took a drink of water. Tapping the microphone, he shielded his eyes from the spot lights. "Wow, there sure are a lot of you out there tonight! Hey, I think I've seen you before." He pointed to a woman on the first row. "You've been at a few of the show, correct?" She nodded. He gave a low whistle, "I have a fan!" The crowd laughed and he smiled.
"Hello, my name is Jareth, and I'll be playing a few songs this evening. Thanks for coming out." With that, he began to strum the guitar, playing a slow, sad melody.
"Its a place at the end of the road,
and there is a time after every show.
where I don't want to talk to no one.
Well you say, 'At least someone is loving you', I know.
I just think they need a better reason though,
and I don't want to talk to no one
I just wanted to talk to you.
Well you search for love and you search for happiness
And you come to find, there is a difference.
So you search for wisdom and you search for truth,
And all you find is quiet, maybe it finds you."
Sarah couldn't believe it. She was lost in his voice and his presence. He looked just like she remembered him. Tall and lean. His blonde hair still looked wild, even though it was pulled back in a pony tail. He was dressed just as one might expect a musician to be dressed, but with subtle differences. His corduroys were baggy, but his button up shirt was pressed. She could almost have laughed, had she not been so confused, Jareth remained completely wrinkle free.
"It's a place at the end of the road,
and there is a time after every show
where I don't want to talk to no one.
Well you say, 'At least someone is loving you', I know.
I just think they need a better reason though
and I don't want to talk to no one,
I just wanted to talk to you."
The song ended and the crowd, many of whom were standing in the back of the room, burst into applause.
"So," he began, as be started to tune his guitar for the next song, "Would you like to hear about an ADD moment I had during that song? You see, I was driving out here and I thought, 'You haven't played Talk to You in a long time. You should play that. I better go over the words.' I'm sitting in my car, singing the song. I swear, I got thought the first verse and got completely sidetracked. I have no idea what the second verse is. Anyone notice I skipped it? What is the second verse?"
The room was laughing, but a few people started to softly sing the words.
"It's the sweetest sadness not a kin to pain,
and resembles sorrow only as mist resembles the rain.
It's a silence that you can almost hear.
It's a love that you could almost fear, but you don't have to"
He smiled out at them. "That's a good verse. I wish I had remembered it."
Sarah splashed cold water on her face and the back of her neck. This was completely unbelievable. How old had she been, barley sixteen? That was three years ago, three years. She had always asked herself what she would do if she ever encountered him again. The scenarios had played out in her head nightly, for months, years maybe. She had always imagined him coming back, his egotistical manner just as it had been. Her thoughts were broken as she heard laughter from outside the bathroom.
"That's a good verse. I wish I had remembered it."
She could have prepared herself for a thousand things, but she could never have foreseen Jareth with a sense of humor. It was almost like an out of body experience. You see someone you once knew, but they are not at all as they were the last time you met them. She didn't really know how to react.
His music was very different now. He seemed happier, even if the words were still sad. That sadness seemed, somehow, in perspective. She was trying to put her finger on the change in his demeanor. It was almost like a school yard bully who had finally grown up.
'Well, he's been in my world long enough to develop a fan base,' she paused and almost smiled, realizing how bizarre that thought was. 'He hasn't tried to contact me. Maybe if he doesn't see me, he never will. I just wish I had never known he was here.'
Sarah recognized the feeling in the pit of her stomach. Fear. This situation was bizarre, totally unlike anything she had ever expected to have to deal with. But, somehow, she took comfort in the peculiarity of the moment. Perhaps, if she just made it through the night, she could pretend none of this ever happened.
Slowly, summoning all the courage she could, she returned to the room. She didn't want Raye and Chrissy to have reason to question her.
"So, I'm almost to the request portion of the night. I got one more that I want to sing for you guys. This is about a girl--" He was cut off momentarily by a couple of "aws" from the audience. He smiled. "Yes, yes, I know. Sorry, but it's not a particularly happy song. I wrote it about a year after I met her, when I thought I was ready to go on with my life. So, this is a song about being over it, but not really." A couple people laughed. He smiled again, but it looked half-hearted. "It's called Keep Forgetting."
"She was honest past the point of pretty.
She had a girl friend back then, I just can't recall her name.
And she was desperate, far past the point of easy.
And nothing here would change, nothing here would change…
She was timid past the point of careful.
She had a boyfriend now, but he had a girly way.
He was kinda' strong, along the lines of gentle,
And nothing here would ever be the same.
Not for me, it would never be the same…
And I keep forgetting I didn't make her happy.
I keep forgetting I didn't make her love me.
I keep forgetting I didn't make her lonely.
She was all of this before me, and
She'll be that way without me."
"Oh my God, Raye whispered in Sarah's ear, "Who wouldn't love him? He's so funny, but somehow, he seems too sad. Don't ya' think?"
Sarah, who was using all her willpower to prevent herself from running out the door replied only with a lame, "Yeah."
Chissy leaned over towards Sarah, concerned. "Sarah, you okay? Break-up songs probably aren't the best for you right now. Maybe we should take a walk."
Sarah managed a slight shake of her head, feeling her stubborn nature kick in. "I'm fine Chris. No worries. Enjoy yourself."
"She was honest when it wasn't easy,
So I was careful to try to do the same.
But she got desperate and it started to look pretty,
When she started pushing me away, she started pushing me away…
Into the careful hands of time, into the gentle hands of change.
Into the careful hands of time, with such gentle hands…"
Sarah brought a hand to her face, to brush away a stray hair. When she brought her hands back down, she looked at her fingertips in shock. They were wet. She couldn't remember when she started crying.
"And I keep forgetting I didn't make her happy.
I keep forgetting I didn't make her love me.
I keep forgetting I didn't make her lonely.
She was all of this before me, and
She'll be that way without me.
Long before me, she'll get along without me…"
He stood silent on the stage. The longest he had been silent for the entire night. When he looked back up, Sarah saw the old Jareth again. His mis-matched eyes held no laughter, and when he smiled again, it didn't reach his eyes.
"Well, I'm done depressing you. Any requests?"
Suddenly, a room that had sat in a hushed silence broke into minor chaos.
"For Nichole!"
"I'm Afraid of White People." Jareth laughed when the title was mentioned.
"Ballad of Her."
"Perfect lil' Imperfection!"
Jareth smiled outright at this suggestion. "Great choice." He began to down-tune his guitar. "This really is one of my favorites. See, if you ever want to write a mediocre song, this is kind of a template. Actually, it is, itself, a mediocre song. So, it's an example and a teaching tool." He paused for a moment, faining deep thought, "I'm a genius."
Challenge yourself man and write a song
about boring average heterosexual love
that doesn't even try to scratch the surface
You just sit back and love it because it is."
Sara smiled, then stopped, aghast. She realized in a sudden rush that sitting here, in the same room as Jerath, listening to him sing, she was beginning to enjoy herself. Rationalizing, she realized that she had just been crying, but she'd been doing that for a week. What she hadn't done lately was smile, and he had made her smile. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Even the first time she'd met him, his singing had impressed her, it was his talking and his actions that had turned her off. Besides, this singing, it wasn't the same. It didn't make her feel like he was looking into her, reading her.
'But it does,' argued a stubborn voice in her mind. 'It's just the same.'
She shook her head again and tried to enjoy the music despite the ever growing knot inside her stomach.
'You've always liked his voice, Sarah. Just avoid actual interaction and this evening could actually…be alright…'
The audience laughed and Jareth smiled.
"Well, thank you all so much for coming out. I'm going to play one more song this evening. Remember I discovered my fan at the beginning of the show? I've decided she should get to pick the final song as a reward for her loyalty. Anything you want mama', just say the word."
The woman thought for a second, obviously taking her role very seriously. "Well," she began slowly. "I don't know if you know this, but I was at your very first show. The last song you played there, I'd like to hear that one. I don't think you've ever played it sense."
It could have been her imagination, but Sarah could have sworn some of the color just drained out of Jareth's face.
"Do you really want to hear that? There is a reason I don't play that anymore. It's shit." There were a few laughs, but mostly, everyone seemed intrigued. "Look, I haven't played that song in a very long time…I'm not even sure I remember the words…" he trailed off.
The woman looked up at him, smiling. "I'd really love to hear it. It felt like you were talking right to me."
Jareth looked at her, obviously still trying to escape. "It's such an old song, not like anything I played tonight." The woman sat, unconvinced. He looked out over the crowd, most of whom were sitting, expectantly. "Well," he tried to smile, and reached behind himself to pull up a stool, "I'll need to sit down for this one. Let's see…" Slowly, he adjusted the tuning on the guitar slightly. "I only played it in public the one time. Well, here goes. My apologies in advance…"
The tune started, and Sarah's immediately felt ill. She could have taken anything, anything but this. The lyrics seemed so distant, so impersonal, but sitting in the crowded room she felt focused on and exposed. She shut her eyes and tried to imagine herself someplace else, anyplace else. But instead, looking back at her in her mind's eye, was Jareth. Staring at her, eyes pleading with her as they danced.
"There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel
Open and closed within your eyes.
I'll place the sky within your eyes
There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
I'll place the moon within your heart."
Chrissy stared at her friend in concern. Sarah looked pale and had placed her hands over her ears, as if trying to physically keep the song out. She was distracted from her concern, however, by the man on the stage. Jareth had begun the song shakily, almost robot like. Now, as the tempo picked up, his voice grew heavy with emotion. Grief washed over Chrissy. It was as if he were singing only to her.
"As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you.
Every thrill has gone
Wasn't too much fun at all.
But I'll be there for you,
As the world falls down.
Falling…
As the world...
Falling down…
Falling in love…"
To the audience, Jareth seemed to forget their existence. All the cheerfulness that had existed in his eyes earlier had disappeared. As he played, he looked at the ceiling, never missing a note, never stumbling over a word. A man, who had seemed so normal only moments before, now appeared strange, subtly different. The spell of his voice however, was exactly the same.
"I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you Valentine evenings.
Though we're strangers till now,
We're choosing the path between the stars.
I'll leave my love between the stars…
As the pain sweeps though,
makes no sense for you.
Every thrill has gone,
Wasn't too much fun—"
The noise of a chair clattering to the floor made him falter. The voice that followed caused him to stop.
"Why are you here?"
The question was presented with such forcefulness and venom, he was surprised he did not drop dead on the spot. Slowly, he took his eyes away from the ceiling and brought them to focus on the woman standing before him.
'Please,' he pleaded to no one in particular, 'Not her…'
He saw her standing before him, tears streaming down her face, and his thoughts flashed momentarily to the girl he had known before, crying on her bed after a fight with her stepmother. However, as soon as their eyes met, all her anger dissipated, replaced, alarmingly, by cold fear. Jareth was shocked. Had she ever feared him before this moment?
"Please…Jareth…why.." She turned and ran from the building. The two girls seated at the table with her, hesitated only a moment before the followed.
Jareth stood, song and audience forgotten. He remained on the stage, watching the door swing quietly shut, separating her from his eyes.
"Fuck me."
Without another word, he picked up his guitar and left the stage.
