I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart
Why is everything so hard?
I don't think that I can deal
With the things you said
It just won't go away
Paige had tried everything to stop thinking about Craig, but nothing seemed to work. He had been calling her for the last three days to talk to her, but she couldn't face it. She didn't want to hear what she already knew he would say.
Who would have thought that it would have turned out this way? No one would have ever thought that Emma was still alive. Now that she was back, Paige's world was no more. She had given up her scholarship to stay in town to help Craig out. All of her friends had moved to other towns to go to school. What was there left for her now?
Paige noticed the liquor in the cabinet, it was staring her in the face. It was as if it was calling out her name. Drowning her sorrows sounded like the best idea at this point. She picked it up, and poured a glass. At least I'll stop thinking about him for a little while, she thought.
She rose her glass, "Here's to forgetting the one I love." One glass became two; two became five, until she finished the whole bottle. By the time she it was empty, she had passed out on her bedroom floor.
She was right about one thing, she had forgotten about Craig for the night, but how much longer could she keep this up?
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all
Craig wanted to talk to Paige, but she didn't want to talk to him. He felt bad that it had ended up this way. He knew all the heartbreaks she had in life, and he just added to it.
He decided the best thing would be if he went over to her house to see how she was. Moreover, he would have a better chance getting to talk to her that way. He felt like he needed to explain himself, and why he chose Emma over her.
Craig went into Adrian's room where Emma was sitting with him. "Em, I'm going to go see Paige. I need to talk to her."
Shaking her head, "Alright, good luck."
"Thanks." He kissed Adrian on the top of his head, and then kissed Emma on the lips, before heading out, "I love you two."
Smiling at him, "We love you two."
"Bye dada," Adrian said, waving his hand at him.
Craig just smiled at him; he thought it was so adorable. Well to him everything he did was adorable.
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way
Without you I just can't find my way
Craig knocked on her door, but no one answered. He knew Paige still had to be there because the car was still in the driveway. Therefore, he decided to use the key that they kept hidden in the hanging pot.
He unlocked the door, and still there was no sign of no one. He figured that she might still be in bed, so he would go up there and wake her up.
"Paige," he called out as he walked down the hall.
That's when he noticed from a far her door open, and a figure lying on the ground. He ran right there; he had a gut feeling that something wasn't right.
As he knelt beside her, he noticed the bottle on the other side of her. "Oh Paige, what did you do?" He was so worried about her; he noticed that she was still breathing so at least he knew she wasn't anything physically wrong.
"Paige, wake up," he said as he gently shook her.
Paige felt something shaking her; all of a sudden, a huge headache came upon her. She felt like she was going to die. She heard someone calling her, but because of her head, she couldn't really make out who it was. She slowly opened her eyes; at first, her sight was a little blurry, it took a little while for them to adjust. She couldn't believe who it was. Was she dreaming or was he actually holding her in his arms. "Craig," she said in a groggy voice.
"Oh thank heavens. Why did you do it?" As if he really had to ask, he knew why, it was because she was upset about the whole thing, not that he could blame her.
"I wanted to forget about my dreadful life that is going nowhere anymore." She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't seem to stop the tears from coming.
"This isn't the answer," he felt like crying for her. He felt like he always seemed to cause pain without meaning to.
Sitting up, "What do you know? I have nothing left, and you still have everything, including a part of my heart."
"Paige this isn't how I wanted things to end up. If I could have avoided this all I would have, but you told me to follow my heart, and I did."
"Didn't I mean anything to you?"
Grabbing her hands, "Yes of course, you help me and Adrian out in a time that was very painful. And for that I will be forever grateful."
"So all I was to you was someone who was there for comfort?" she yelled. She wanted him to know how she felt, so badly, she wanted him to feel her pain.
"No, Paige you're the only other person that I've ever let in truly, letting you see all of me. And that's because I was starting to fall in love with you"
The word that Paige had wanted to hear, she couldn't help herself, she had to just go with it. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips softly, gently biting his lower lip, causing him to quiver.
Craig had to stop her; he couldn't go down this road. He backed away, "Paige, don't. You know what I've got to go," walking towards the door, looking back for a second, "I'm sorry about this all."
"Craig, don't go," she called out. How can he just tell her that he had fallen in love with her, and still be with Emma? It just wasn't fair; life was just so cruel to her.
I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go
"So how did it go?" Emma asked.
"Paige is doing badly, she's drinking in her sorrows, and it's my entire fault," he said slumping on to the couch.
Emma came right over, and sat beside him, "Craig it's no one's fault but hers. She didn't have to go and drink; there are better ways to deal with your problems."
"Em she's had so much heartbreak in her life. Spinner broke her heart; her parents are never there for her, always away. More that I can't even say, but I told her I didn't want to be like that, that I would be there for her."
"Craig we can't help what that heart wants, and it wasn't your fault that I was actually alive. Don't torture yourself over this," she said rubbing his back. "She'll be alright."
"I hope you're right."
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all
You feel nothing
Nothing at all
Paige realized the best thing for her to do would be to leave this town. Get away from all the memories that were locked in her house, in the town. She packed all her stuff into her car, what she couldn't get it she would send for when she got a place.
She stopped by Craig's apartment to drop off a letter. She thought this was the best way to say good-bye.
As she left the town, softly she said, "Good-bye Degrassi…good-bye Craig."
Craig picked up the mail, and he noticed one that seemed to be personally sent. Once he was in his apartment, he put down the rest of the mail on the table, and sat on the couch to read it.
Dearest Craig,
What can I really say? I wish you didn't have to see me like the other day. I never wanted you to see me at the breaking point. I didn't want you to see me as someone who was in need of some help. After that, I decided that I can't do that to myself. That's why I came up with an idea to get out of this town. By my leaving, it will allow you to be with Emma freely without worrying whether I'm somewhere. Because I know that, you would never want to flaunt your relationship with her in front of me. You're too much for a gentleman to want to see me hurt.
I had to leave also because it just hurt too much to be here. There are so many memories that consist of you, and the moments we had together. I know I shouldn't runaway, but I can't be there to watch, and know that you're there with her and not me. I know that is selfish of me, but I can't help it.
I've been wishing that you didn't tell me that you loved me because maybe I was better off not knowing. It seems now that it was harder than when I didn't know. I'm sorry about the kiss that I planted on you, it's just when I heard those words I had been longing for, and I needed that feeling. I don't know if you felt it, but I felt something when we kissed. However, even if you did it probably isn't like what you feel with Emma. I'm going to stop now before; I make myself feel worse about it all.
I wanted you to know that you made me real happy. I will never forget those days we spent taking care of Adrian, or those nights you just cried on my shoulder. You showed me what it really means to have someone care truly for you. I hope someday to find another guy like you, someone who makes me feel like I did when I was with you.
Tell Adrian that I will miss him lots, and wish that I could have said good-bye. I just couldn't face seeing you one last time it was too tough. If I thought I could handle it, I would have. I will love you forever, and always!
All my love
Paige
P.S. have a good life with Emma, you deserve all the happiness in the world.
A tear fell from Craig's face. He couldn't believe she had just left like that. He had just lost someone he considered to be one of his best friends. He felt bad that she felt like this was the only way to go. He was sure going to miss her. If he knew that the last time he saw her was going to be his last then he wouldn't have left like that.
