Part Four
Joey was feeling out of sorts. She had been for over a week now. It was a Wednesday. The third one since The Creek had finished for the season. She missed closely watching each episode looking for any secret message that only she and Dawson shared. Not that Joey needed a vicarious link to him anymore. They were back in each other's lives now. She couldn't really blame the absence of a TV show for her general spirit of dissatisfaction.
What she needed was a chat with Dawson. She always felt better after one.
Dawson's personal assistant answered her call. She informed Joey that she was sorry but Mr Leery was at lunch, at which point Joey impulsively asked if Mr Leery was out with a Ms Crossdale. She was calling on a business related manner. Joey felt a tiny twinge of jealously on hearing that yes; Mr Leery was dining with a scriptwriter associated with the Spielberg project. Of course, the fascinating writer that Dawson had enthused about during their last conversation – an Amanda Crossdale. Would she like his cell number? No thanks, she had it already.
This new piece of information did nothing to improve Joey's overall mood. Yes, she acknowledged to herself, she did mind that Dawson was having lunch with a woman. A woman he already thought highly of and one he might be working closely with in the coming months. Worse still, she didn't mind that at this very moment Pacey could be laughingly telling Christy Livingstone she had beautiful eyes.
Bessie had called her yesterday. Her sister hadn't been able to resist a tiny jibe at Pacey who she claimed she had caught flirting with one of the Icehouse waitresses.
Pacey was a charmer; in an obvious, roguish, devilish kind of way. She was used to seeing the way he made other women smile, move their chairs a little closer and giggle a little too long at his jokes.
It was part of the Pacey package. His love of three chord rock and roll, his general disregard for the finer points of personal hygiene, the way he valiantly attempted interest in her work, his love of the unsophisticated, his contentment to live in Capeside and run the Icehouse. In these ways he was completely different to the ideal man that she'd describe on paper.
In all honesty, she wasn't upset at the possibility of Pacey being a little too friendly with another woman. She wasn't even upset that Bessie felt the need to point it out. She was unsettled because she just didn't really care. She didn't mind that he might be flirting with women. She didn't mind that he hadn't been able to make his usual mid-week visit to New York. She didn't mind that he had only made a half-hearted attempt to come to last week's launch of a book of short plays that she had edited.
Joey's eyes strayed to a photo of Pacey on her desk. She picked it up and ran a finger gently down the edge of the frame. She was once again at the senior prom hearing Pacey yell, "But I want you to care! I want you to care! I don't want you to just accept it like that's the way it's supposed to be… it just reminds me that I'm not good enough." Still feeling the hurt and recrimination of that night, she turned the photo face down on her desk. She couldn't look at Pacey's eyes. Not now. A lone tear trickled down her cheek.
"Its times like these that I just want to take her in my arms and tell her that everything is going to be alright." The woman reached out a hand, an attempt to connect with the already fading scene. "But you'd know that." She turned and shared a look of understanding with Jen who was sitting beside her. "Your little girl is growing more and more beautiful every day."
Jen gave a small smile.
"During those last weeks on earth, there were moments when the thought of being away from Amy for the rest of her life was so painful I used to catch my breath. But when I came here there was no real pain. Just wishful thinking and a sense of sorrow for those left behind."
"I know," Lillian Potter laughed gently. "You just feel so much for the people left trying desperately to figure their lives out. Over here things seem a lot clearer."
She paused and then took Jen's hands in her own. "I want to say thank-you for being such a good friend to Joey, especially at those crossroads in life that confused us all. She listened to you a great deal."
Jen frowned.
"When Joey told me that she'd stopped running and had made a decision with herself I was surprised but pleased too. I've got to say though; I hoped that didn't mean she was going to jump into a relationship with Pacey."
Lillian Potter took a moment to respond.
"You mightn't have realised it but my daughter is just as idealistic as Dawson Leery. Life has dealt her some harsh blows, but deep inside she believes in the fairy tale ending, white picket fence and all."
"I know. I've seen it too." Jen drew her legs up, hugging her knees. "So what happened?"
"When you asked her to make a decision you were on your death bed Jen. Joey was shocked and scared. She simply wanted to make you happy but she wasn't quite ready to stop running, and when you died she still didn't really make a decision. She didn't choose Pacey. She let Chris go and then Pacey told her he was he in love with her. He made it easy for her. She didn't have to choose, she just had to agree. Yes, she loves him. He is an old and very dear friend. He would do anything to protect her and help her. He was really the first boy to make her recognize that there were other men in the world besides Dawson. But a part of her has always known the truth. A truth that she's often been afraid of accepting but a truth that she's now on the verge of embracing – Dawson Leery is Josephine Potter's happy ending."
