Gasp! I'm back, keeping it regular! And not in the bathroom sort of way either!
Standard disclaimer: I disclaim everything that is Naruto.
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For the most part, Sasuke and Naruto ate their lunches in the roomy space of the Uchiha's class room, but not all the time. On days when Sasuke was being particularly sulky, or Naruto just felt like being around people that conversed in more than single sentence responses, Naruto would eat in the teacher's lounge and leave the brunette to his own devices. It was on one of those days that a fellow teacher announced that he was engaged and that everyone (male, that is) was invited to his ending-of-freedom party. And, of course, Naruto made it his personal mission make sure Sasuke a.k.a. Mister-Stick-Up-His-Ass a.k.a. Master Hermit joined the festivities.
"C'mon, Sasuke-" (Sasuke had finally allowed Naruto to be on first name basis after a four hour argument that threatened to turn into an all-nighter)"It'll be fun. You can't spend every night with your stamps." How Naruto had wrung that piece of information out of Sasuke no one would ever know.
"No."
"It'll be fun, really." In a lowered voice, "There'll be strippers..."
"No. Don't ask me again, I'm not changing my mind."
Fast forward to that Friday night: At a local strip club, among the teachers and faculty that he never associated with outside of school grounds, Uchiha Sasuke couldn't help but wonder how he had been convinced to go along. The booming noises of music and drunken conversation surrounded him, and he was more than positive if he wasn't already buzzed he would have a full blown headache.
"CELLLL-AHHH-BRATE GOOD TIMES- COME AWN!" Naruto crowed beside him,
having gone through several drinks, both exotic and local. In other words, he was thoroughly
smashed. Their fellow teachers weren't all too different, choosing to relieve their stress in the
same fashion. Uchiha, on the other hand, had the sense to nurse his drinks instead of knocking
them back.
"Sssssssaaaaaassskay, why don' you go for a dance?" The sloppy man drawled. "Look- that priddy lil' one over there's been giving you the ole' googly eyes." Then, "I'll paaaaay–" He sing-songed, waving the woman over with a hand full of dollars.
Shaking his head and waving his arms furiously, Sasuke vainly tried to steer off the stripper. It seemed she was dead set on filling the empty space on his lap, but veered off at the last minute when someone holding twenties screamed for her attention.
"Yer no fun." The blonde snorted, then leaned over the counter to the stage and slipped the money into someone's g-string. The woman favored him with a smile, which he returned lopsided while Sasuke hid his face in his hands.
"How embarrassing-" He muttered into his palms.
"No fun at all." Uzumaki laughed, calling for more liquor. By the time Sasuke deemed it safe to venture from his sanctuary, there was a fresh drink in front of him and two more in front of the other. The craziness around them still ensued, everyone cheering on the head librarian who had found enough drunken courage to go on stage.
It was about the time that the inebriated man fell off the platform that Naruto turned and squinted into Sasuke's face, close enough that a strange gleam could be seen through his eyelashes.
"Hey, Sasuke-"
"Eh?" Surprisingly, Naruto's voice had sounded almost... sober.
"Really, how come you don't want a lap dance?" He asked conspiratorially, yet still serious.
Is this guy really drunk? "No reason." Sasuke shrugged, leaning back from his stool to stretch and discreetly glance at a wall clock behind him. A strange heavy weight settled onto his lap, snapping him back to attention.
"I guess it's up to me to entertain youuuuuuuuuuu-" Mixtures of blue and gold assaulted his vision, breath puffing into his face, tinged with alcohol and slightly sour. There was something vaguely challenging in that tone, and Sasuke couldn't help but retort.
"You're bigger than me."
"And you talk too much..." The loud voice suddenly got quiet, trailing off into a smirk. Suddenly the blonde shifted his weight and -Oh, Gawd, what was this friction?- before the Uchiha could say or do anything, his lips were captured. A strange hot shiver, like roiling balls of molten something shooting from his toes to his brain and everything in between, jolted up and down his spine. The lips retreated quickly enough, accompanied by a smirk and a whispery chuckle, and he was about to move for more-
"HEY! I GOT FIFTY BUCKS THAT SAYS NO ONE CAN BEAT ME IN THE ARCADE!" Someone screamed.
"WHAT! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN AS THE PINBALL WIZARD! I'LL WHOOP YER ASS BACK TO MOMMA!"
And all too soon the weight was gone, leaving Sasuke to bask in fading warmth and confused thoughts while a pole dancer stuck her butt in his face in frustration.
For the rest of the night he zoned out, until a waving hand crossed his vision, effectively snapping him out of it.
"Sir?" The timid bartender hovered beside him. "Sir, your party has left and we're about to close..." Looking around, Sasuke saw that the establishment had indeed emptied out. Waiters were overturning chairs onto tables and picking up empty bottles and shot glasses, the dancers were fully clothed and departing. Soiled tablecloths were piled on the bar, presumably to be cleaned. The clock read 2 am.
"Sir? I've already ordered a taxi for another customer, if you don't feel like driving I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing it with you-" Barely listening, Sasuke nodded in agreement. He'd arrived with a group of faculty, but seeing as they'd left him he had no other choice but to call a cab.
As if on cue, a checkered yellow and black car pulled in front of the building and honked, and the pile of tablecloths shifted and giggled. While Sasuke stared incredulously, the bartender jumped, then, catching himself, quickly strode to the mass and pulled it off the counter. The whole thing fell with a gigantic FWOOMPH, and the wooden floor trembled slightly when it landed.
"Ooh- Man, you've ruined my fort!" Tugging the sheets off his face, none other than Uzumaki Naruto squinted up at the dumbfounded Uchiha.
"Sasuke! You're just in time! Quick- help me fix the fort before Colonel Klink and General Obunaga try to raid us! Ha, ha! We'll rebuild the South in no time-" Squirming, the idiot popped back into the mess of sheets and wrestled with an imaginary foe.
Well. Don't that just beat all.
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Man, I think listening to David Bowie and The Beatles all morning is starting to screw with me head.
