Disclaimer: See chapter seven.
Hey, sorry for those of you who just want to read, but I've been asked (more like ordered) to add an author's-friend-note here real quick :)
hey yall! its crazymaysi (F'lessan's BESTEST friend and inspiration for this story ;-p) anyway I am just apologizing for her negligence to update this story. She at first refused to update because I forgot/ was to lazy to review. Once I FINALLY got around to reviewing she just decided to put it off even more, forcing me to once again NAG her to update. now it seems my nagging has FINally payed off and here is her new chapter- its ermm shall we say…interesting! Any complaints or disputes with anything said about hotdogs or post-its for that matter should be taken up w/ us in a review and we shall do our PERSONAL best to respond to each and every one of you!
much love- peace up A-town
crazymaysi
"You are going to show me where the nearest club is, and you are coming with me!" Lauren banged on the bathroom door where Hermione had taken refuge. "We are going to party, get drunk and sing Christmas carols without even realizing it!"
"Will you stop attacking the door? I'm trying to read here and the sound of you abusing wood isn't helping," Hermione yelled back.
"Reading in the bathtub again? What are you doing, reading it a bedtime story?"
Hermione quickly moved from the bathtub onto the tiled floor and leaned against the wall. "I'm not in the tub and the only reason I'm even in here is so you don't steal my book and try to flush it again!"
"Now, now, we both know that if you would just agree to come with me, I wouldn't need to resort to that… or this," Lauren added quietly, grinned at the door and muttered something as she waved her wand.
Hermione's screams filled the little apartment a second later followed by the bathroom door blasting open, just barely managing to stay on its hinges. Lauren peeked from her hiding place behind the couch and went into hysterical laughing fits. In the doorway stood Hermione, wrapped like a mummy in toilette paper with the toilette seat around her neck like a necklace and a towel hanging from it like a cape. Her book seemed to be glued to her head by a bar of soap.
"LAUREN! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND UNDO YOUR SPELL!"
Lauren tried desperately to stop laughing… unsuccessfully.
"Only if…" Burst of laughter. "…you go with me to…" Laughter. "…the club and have…" Peals of laughter. "fun." More laughter. "Can't breathe…" She trailed off.
By then Lauren was draped over the back of the couch, gasping for breath. Hermione tried to tackle Lauren as she got up, but the toilette paper tightened around her ankles as she stepped forward and Hermione went sprawling across the floor.
"LAUREN!"
"Yes?" She looked innocently down at her friend.
"GET THIS OFF OF ME!"
"Yes Mummy…" Lauren giggled as Hermione glared at her the best she could with her face mashed into the fuzzy peach-coloured carpet.
"That was so funny, Lauren, simply hilarious."
"I know, wasn't it?" Bowing, she grabbed her wand and, with a flick, everything was back to normal. "Happy now—AHH!"
Hermione threw a pink pillow with pink frills and pink sequins all over it. Lauren pulled the pillow from her mouth, spitting out pink threads.
"See how much fun you can have when you aren't being a bookworm?" Hermione stuck her tongue out as Lauren continued, "C'mon, please? You know you want to. And plus, you owe me for giving that guy from the other day that nice eye decoration. He'll have to wear make-up to cover it up," Lauren added in a singsong voice, "and you should know how much guys just hate make-up."
She thought for a minute and sighed, "Oh, fine. But I am NOT singing."
An hour later, the girls found themselves seated at a bar, lights flashing and music blasting around them, with a lovely collection of glasses on the counter. They were singing at the top of their lungs.
"JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY. OH WHAT FUN, IT IS TO RIDE, IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH, HEY!"
Lauren fell back onto her stool as she tried to laugh her head off and down a margarita at the same time. Hermione was using the counter to support her as she gasped for air to continue howling with laughter.
"I got to go pee," Hermione's words were slurred as she stumbled away to find a bathroom, "don't start another song without me!"
"Okay!" Lauren turned to the man, rather drunk himself, who had just sat down beside her. "Hey, how's it going? Merry Christmas! Let's dance!"
With that she pulled the guy onto the dance floor.
"I post-it notes are so cool! They're colourful! And hog-dogs are EVIL!" Lauren cried out.
"I KNOW!" The guy shouted.
"And they come in letters and shapes!"
"And the ones in the big stacks that you can swirl, those are AWSOME!"
"Post-its rule!"
When Hermione came back, she found Lauren snogging a guy with flaming red hair and sporting a black eye poorly concealed with some cover-up that didn't even match his skin tone. She couldn't quite figure out why he was familiar so she dismissed the thought and sat back down ordering another drink. By then, Lauren had to take a breath and chose to introduce her new boyfriend.
"Heather! This is Ro hiccup ald!"
"Hello! Sing some more with us!" Hermione cried out loudly. "Any suggestions?"
"Hermione?"
"Hmm… never heard of it."
"No, Hermione, it's me… Ron."
"Ron?" Her mind cleared slightly, just enough for her to realize exactly who Ron was and drag Lauren away.
"Later sexy!" Lauren called out and waved as she followed her arm out the door.
"Lauren, that was Ron!"
"Well, duh," Lauren started then noticed the frantic look in Hermione's eyes. "Wait, you mean the guy who got you pregnant?"
Serlene- Yes, mean is fun evil grin . I'm their evil overlord so if I say roll over, they have to roll over! Muahahahahaha… yeah… clears throat Anyway, to your question: Kind of, not exactly. The whole Ron-Hermione-Mystery Guy thing is still a mess in my mind.
