A/N: OK. First off, I owe my faithful readers some big explanation, and here it is: Sadly, I've had a nasty run in with the two words writers dread the most. Writer's block. I'm still recovering, and it'd probably be a long time before I update Be My Valentine again. I'm continuing it, but I've been so unhappy with the way the latest chapter has been going. I just need to figure out how to connect all the events together and redirect the way the story's going. If I don't, well, it crashes and burns. And the fact I am grounded and am reduced to only checking my e-mail does not help. My parents watch me like freaking hawks and my grades have been slipping. I am touched by the reviews and I am continuing with the story.
But while I am recuperating, I will create hopefully two new stories. This one doesn't really count, since it's like a series of one-shots that I write on spur-of-the-moment ideas. Anyway, the two stories are called: The Pianist and one that I am still frying my brain for a title. I am truly sorry for all those who enjoyed the story, but it's on HIATUS for the time being.
Disclaimer: Well you know, if I owned SEED or SEED Destiny, certain people and events would never have happened. coughcoughCAGALLI BEING FORCED TO MARRY YUNAcoughcough> And coughcoughMWU DYINGcoughcough>. I also do not own the song There You'll Be. Whoever made it up does.
Foot Note: I also noticed that the scene changes might be a little confusing. So here it is: after the first verse, it's taking place on the bridge and Murrue's room. After the chorus it's in Mwu's room. After the second verse, it's a few weeks later at Mwu's funeral, obviously, and after the second chorus, it's sill at Mwu's funeral. It's a bit confusing, but I just couldn't figure out where to put, Taking place in Mwu's room, funeral and etc. It'd be so odd... well, I'll go now...
A Lot Like Love
There You'll Be
When I think back on these times,
And the dreams we left behind,
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get to have you in my life
When I look back on these days,
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me
"MWU!"
The desolate cry rang throughout the bridge, and the marigold eyes of none other than the young captain, Murrue Ramius, filled with tears crying for the loss of the light-hearted Mwu La Flaga. The scrap pieces of what had been the Strike floated around, as if to mock Murrue's current pain. The crew stared on in shock, and the man's last words shook Murrue so badly she wanted to die.
"I make the impossible, possible,"
Why was war so cruel? Miriallia had lost Tolle, Flay had lost her father, Lacus had lost both her parents, Cagalli had lost her father, and her friends, and Kira… the young pilot had lost his entire sense of innocence fighting for the wrong causes. And Murrue… just now she had lost Mwu. Even through the shattering of her heart, she couldn't prevent the times she had shared with him, up until his untimely demise.
She heard herself vaguely giving out the order to fire the Lohengrin at the Dominion. She barely remembered what happened after Kira killed Le Creuset. She could barely remember anything. But lying on her bed, she could so vividly remember the thoughts of death running through her head until Mwu blocked that blast. Why… why did it have to be him!
Murrue knew she should stop: had it not been Mwu, it would have been someone else, someone else could have been suffering the very same way as she was right now. Still… it hurt. Murrue Ramius almost expected the Hawk of Endymion to burst through her door unceremoniously, drunk on pure happiness, with that ridiculous grin on his face…
A crystalline tear fell down Murrue's face as she remembered the very first day she had met the man named Mwu La Flaga.
Granted, it was under very grim circumstances, yet it had only served to lead into a beautiful relationship.
It had been in Heliopolis, was it not, after a disastrous hijacking mission conducted by ZAFT that had resulted in her being the captain of the ship, Archangel? She remembered every detail so clearly.
Flashback
"I am Lieutenant Murrue Ramius with the Second Independence Fleet," Murrue greeted, saluting and giving out a startled look as Mwu stuck out his hand for a shake, grinning.
"Lieutenant Mwu La Flaga of the Third Independence Fleet, a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," Mwu greeted casually, dark eyes twinkling.
"Huh, oh…" Murrue broke out into a smile, shaking his hand in a firm grasp. "Likewise, Lieutenant La Flaga,"
Flashback to present
It's actually not that long ago, she realized with a pang. And how fast did I get attached to him?
She remembered the silly thought that had passed through her one day in the mess hall. It had been an off-hand remark from Kira and Tolle about what a perfect match she and Mwu seemed to make. But that had led to a beginning of hopes and dreams for the both of them.
Murrue had imagined a house by the beach, with a dog as a pet, and maybe one or two kids. She'd observe the sunset from the balcony, and Mwu would come in with their evening coffee, and make a few light-hearted jokes. The anguish of the war would be far behind them. They'd both be happy in their own little world, secluded from the rest of humanity… How wonderful that life had seemed.
But Murrue could buy all the beach houses in the world, she could get every dog in the world, she could watch every sunset in any balcony in the world. However, none of those things would bring Mwu back. For goodness sakes, the man's body couldn't even be found!
Murrue let out a strangled sob. It tore at her the most. The fact a heroic man couldn't even be given a proper burial because his body would never be found. It wasn't fair. War wasn't fair, love wasn't fair, life wasn't fair; nothing was fair.
Her tears came like a waterfall now.
In one day, Murrue Ramius had single handedly lost a friend and a lover.
Mwu, what would I be feeling now if I had never met you… you would have been another face in the military to grieve for. I wouldn't be broken like this, my heart wouldn't be breaking like this, and no one on this ship would grieve for your loss like this! Murrue silently screamed. That was all she could do. Scream silently. No matter who died, she was still the captain of this ship. Her crew needed her to be strong.
Murrue knew Kira would be grieving like a son would grieve for his father. She had seen the conversations shared by the two, and Mwu had always been helpful to the young pilot, being the ever hearty father figure. She knew Murdoch would be grieving a loss of a good friend. Mwu and Murdoch had been friends, sharing random topics about women -Murrue would assume- cars, mechanics, anything. She knew the crew would be grieving for the loss of a cheerful soldier with just the right amount of jokes to cheer them. And Murrue knew she was grieving the loss of a true love.
As painful as those memories were to her now, she knew she was blessed with them. Mwu had made such a huge impact on all their lives on such a short notice. No matter where he went, he couldn't just be a nameless soldier; he was too good for that. And Murrue realized that looking back, in every moment of crisis, he had been there, to brighten up her day…
Flashback
"I'll make it a point to bring it up in Alaska," Natarle said icily, pivoting on her heel and nearly stomping out of the room, seething.
Murrue sighed and put her head on her desk. What else was she supposed to do? It wasn't like she wanted to force Kira to work for the big, bad Orb nation! She had no choice! But no… Natarle had to go and do what she usually did: argue with it. And it tired Murrue endlessly. Natarle was a good comrade, yet sometimes…
The sudden pats on her back snapped her out of her reverie, but she didn't lift her head.
"Aw… cheer up now, it's not like we get to Alaska tomorrow!" Mwu said lightly and sympathetically.
Murrue had to smile. But, rules were rules… "Stop it Commander, that's harassment," she sang.
Mwu immediately stopped, and his face was that of bewilderment. "Eh?" he looked at his hand, aghast. "It is?" he asked.
Murrue nodded.
Flashback to present
Or that time when they were discussing the delicate issue regarding Flay and Kira… or just about any time she was under stress. Mwu was there, wasn't he? Yes, yes he was, whether it be with words of wisdom, words of entertainment or words of sympathy, he had been there.
In my dreams
I'll always see you
Soar above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you
All my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be
Every time she'd picture him, Murrue would always see the same grinning man, launching in his Sky Grasper toward the battlefield, never thinking twice about the consequences of being a soldier. She'd always picture him whizzing by in that Sky Grasper, shooting down enemies that needed to be shot down. That picture would be burned into her mind forever, along with every moment and memory that she shared with Mwu La Flaga.
And in her heart, he'd be there, in his reserved place, no matter how much it hurt to have him gone; he'd always be there in her heart. He had always been there during their stay on the Archangel, he was in her heart now, and damn, it was always going to stay that way.
Even though the thought helped a little, Murrue was unable to stop the tears that coursed down her cheeks. How was she supposed to move on? She just… she just couldn't…
Murrue dropped to her knees, arms around herself, her mind fervently trying to recall and conjure up every single moment she shared with Mwu, every single memory of him… it was all she had to keep of him. There was no body, after all, right? He hadn't kept anything she could treasure as a reminder on the ship, so her memories of Mwu were all she had left of him. His laugh, his smile, his appearance… what if it all faded away?
"No, you can't… think like that," Murrue whispered to herself firmly. "He's not gone unless you say he is, Murrue… Mwu's not… gone. He's just… away…"
Her heart broke and her tears fell, but Murrue knew Mwu would always be with her. Somehow, he would always stay with her. He wouldn't let himself be forgotten. He was too good for that. His face would permanently be burned into Murrue's mind, and she would keep it with her and every trouble she had, every tear she shed, he'd be there. It worked, right? Her memories of Mwu would always exist somewhere in that special place in her broken heart.
Well you showed me how it feels,
To feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember
All the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through,
Oh, I owe so much to you,
You were right there for me
You never knew how you made me feel, Mwu, Murrue thought wistfully, dropping a rose into his empty casket. The red rose landed silently onto the red velvet among about a thousand others. I was the happiest woman in the world…
He had shown her the other side of being among the stars, that being in space didn't always have to mean bloodshed and gazing at scraps of metal all the time. There could be something glittering and shining among them, there could be something beautiful to be found among the scraps of metal and an emotional tale behind the tragedies of war.
Murrue had seen the negative; Mwu had showed her the positive. How well their views seemed to mix together. Isn't that what Kira and Tolle had said?
As the closed coffin was lowered into the ground and the people paid their respects, a bitter smile crossed Murrue's face. The only thing that kept her from breaking down completely, stopping her from taking her own life… was the strength Mwu had given her in the past, when he had simply been there. Knowing she loved him and he loved her was enough to help her make it through. It kept her intact, and the supportive calls she had been regularly getting from Lacus, Kira, or Miriallia –who definitely knew the feeling of losing a loved one for sure- also helped her by, but sometimes when she relaxed, she often saw him, grinning at her. And that helped her the most.
The strength that shined through his smile and laughs, the firm grip with which he helped her through… Murrue owed Mwu so much, and the only way she could repay the debt was by wading through life. By living and experiencing things he would want her to. That was the only way Murrue could ever repay Mwu for being there. She would have to live, remembering Mwu as his light-hearted self, remembering his smile when she would ever think she couldn't go on anymore.
In my dreams
I'll always see you
Soar above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you
All my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be
A gentle hand on her shoulder made the young captain look up.
"Murrue-san," Miriallia said, voice laid thick with suppressed emotion.
It wasn't fair for Miriallia to suffer at such a young age. It wasn't fair for her to lose Tolle.
"Miriallia," Murrue forced a smile.
"I guess neither of us will get to see them one last time," Miriallia said with difficulty, tears leaking from her eyes slowly.
Murrue nodded. "No, I suppose not," she agreed, her own tears falling in spite of herself. "It was cruel… for both of them to die like that."
Miriallia wiped at her eyes but the tears didn't cease to flow. "It wasn't fair… Tolle had so much going for him, Commander La Flaga had so much going for him… all of those who died had so much going for them…"
Murrue's vision clouded with her tears and she dropped to her knees as Miriallia wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Why'd he have to do that? I'll never forget the way he dove in front of that blast. Mwu, you stupid, stupid bastard…. Why'd you have to do that! Why didn't you think…?"
By now, both women had given up trying to stop crying, too lost in their grief to think much about it.
"Tolle died helping Kira, I at least take pride in that," Miriallia whispered. Whether to herself, or to her, Murrue didn't know. "I'm at least happy that Tolle died honorably, that he died trying to save a valuable friend…"
"It doesn't make it hurt any less," Murrue sobbed. "I still feel like he's here, sometimes sitting across from me in a restaurant, and sitting across from me drinking coffee…"
A sad smile appeared on the younger girl's face. "I'll always see him with that look of pride on his face when he went out in that Sky Grasper," she said, aqua gaze directed to the sky. "He looked so happy… I'll remember him best like that, Tolle belongs there."
Murrue nodded. "I could fall in love again, but… I'll never forget the way Mwu made me feel, Miriallia. I'll never forget him… it's impossible to. He's too good for that," she said, voice barely above a whisper.
A gentle breeze blew by, and Murrue glanced up to the clear blue sky. "You'll always be in my heart, Mwu La Flaga… you'll never be anywhere else." She declared marigold eyes full of last farewell tears. "You'll always be with me…"
"He'll always be there, Murrue-san, remember that. A part of him is with you, and he'll always be there," Miriallia stated.
In my dreams
I'll always see you
Soar above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you
All my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be
A/N: There we go! I actually wasn't quite happy with it, but I think it was satisfactory for a spur-of-the-moment idea. And about the whole Second and Third Independence Fleet thing, I was purely going out on a limb. I briefly leafed through the manga and remember reading numbers and some fancy fleet name, so I guessed those. I started watching SEED from the tenth episode, so I'm probably horribly misinformed, and haven't watched the end either, so please correct me if I screwed up on Mwu's heroic words. I got the idea for this during my voice lesson, and was debating whether or not do this song for a Kira/Lacus one-shot, but then decided that Mwu/Murrue suited it better. Well, since no one cares how I was inspired, I think I shall go stuff myself now and come out of spring break looking like a… watermelon or something. Read review, please, even if you hated it and want to bash my head in!
