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Games » Final Fantasy VIII » Quirky B s : A A A
Author: PrincessDesire 1. Default Chapter2. Chapter 2
Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Reviews: 8 - Published: 03-06-03 - Updated: 03-15-03 id:1260593
Quirky Part 2
Squall was bored, so bored that he was doing something uncharacteristic. He was doodling. Squall Leonhart was not much of a doodler. But there were little people with little gunblades on his paper, proving his guilt to the activity. Then out of the blue, came a little cowboy with a little shotgun. Next to him was a horse. It was cute. The cowboy was smiling real big, just like the cowboy that Squall was thinking about. Why was he drawing Irvine?
Seifer and Zell came in to the classroom then. They were very late. There was only a few minutes left in class. Quistis glared at them. "Perhaps you gentlemen wouldn't mind staying after class for a discussion?" she asked angrily. Seifer ignored her completely like he normally did. Zell looked guilty...but happy too.
Squall had heard something weird about Zell. What was it? He couldn't remember.
The bell rang what seemed like only a minute or two after Seifer and Zell came in. The room cleared out nearly instantaneously. Squall panicked. He had to get out before the last of the students. He darted to the door but not quite fast enough.
"And you Squall; I'd like to talk to you as well." Fuck.
"So, what was more important than my class?" asked Quistis with her arms folded across her chest. She always took offense to truants, but she wasn't much older than them and surely couldn't have forgotten the need to skip or be late to class.
"Lots of things instructor," said Seifer. He was such a bitch sometimes.
Her face lost some of the harshness and took on a more feminine touch. She looked a little hurt. "I can see that Seifer, since you aren't going to pass anyway. But, Zell, you are doing fine in here. Don't let Seifer rub off on you."
Seifer cracked up. "I think he enjoys being rubbed off on!"
Quistis looked at them oddly. "I don't even pretend to understand what you mean Seifer."
"We were having gratuitous sex, instructor." Zell and Seifer could see by the question marks above their audience's heads that they had surprised Squall and Quistis. They really needed to talk to headmaster Cid about that. "See, there are some things more important than your lectures."
Squall's mind did more than a flip. It hit a brick wall after the somersault. Okay, Seifer and Zell are gay lovers. There are no bathrooms. And, yes, he was drawing pictures of Irvine. 'Stop thinking' his brain told him. It usually said things like that to him.
"Um, you two can go..." said Quistis softly as a cocky Seifer strolled out of her classroom. They were fucking? Oh goodness. She needed to escape this moment. "So, Squall, um, would you like to go down to the training center with me and practice a bit?"
Do something else
Go along with it
"No thanks."
"It will be good for your training!"
"Alright."
They're training session was cut short by both of them having to use the new bathroom that had been installed in the dormitories.
"Hey Squall, how's it going?" asked Irvine.
He had seen Squall's back as he was in line at the cafeteria. He couldn't see the big eyes that were on Squall's face. Not until he turned to him and said in a low whisper, "They don't have anything else but hotdogs."
Irvine laughed. "What's the matter? Not a big hotdog fan?"
Squall was flabbergasted. Now he remembered what Zell had been saying, weird things happening with the bathrooms and such. Now here was a diet plan for trained soldiers that looked more like a 20 year old bachelor's.
Irvine looked nice, noticed Squall through his worry. His eyes were all twinkly like the stars that he and Rinoa had...Rinoa? Where was she anyway? Squall looked around. She hadn't been bugging him lately. Maybe she had gotten killed in a freak T-Rexaur attack. Why was he thinking that? He loved Rinoa. Didn't he?
"Hey man, are you doing okay?" asked Irvine, his hand went to Squall's shoulder.
Squall felt the urge to say "..." but that was annoying because he always said that. Instead, he said, "I drew a picture of you by a horse."
Irvine stared at Squall as the gunblade expert left the cafeteria, weapon slung over his back much like Seifer. What was going on lately? First Zell, now Squall. He decided to see what was going on.
"Okay okay, I went along with the installation of bathrooms. But, do you know how much it would cost to put in showers into each room?"
"Why don't we have them?" demanded Quistis, her foot stomping.
"We've never needed them before," said Cid shrugging.
"I don't understand! Why did we not have bathrooms? And why...why...?" Quistis's whole body shook with anxiety as she grabbed at her dress. "Why do I wear this horrible pink thing?"
Cid shook his head. "It's what you always wear. Well, when you aren't in uniform."
"Why? Why do we only have one outfit?"
Once again Cid shook his head. Cid was a completely useless leader.
"What the hell is going on?" asked Irvine. Cid seemed so small and scared in the big office chair. He seemed to think that Irvine was verbally attacking him.
"I don't know! The Garden is falling apart! I know what to do!" Cid sprang up from his seat to the intercom. "Squall, can you come to 3F immediately?"
Cid's answer to every crisis...
"It's obviously not just in our heads. Something is going around, something is spreading," said Seifer angrily to the small group.
"Leave it to Seifer Almasy to start a rebellion," joked Quistis as she came down the hallway.
"How are you in your pink dress today Quisty? Heard you used those new bathrooms."
Quistis turned red. There was some kind of epidemic running around at the school and she hated being one of the victims. Things looked strange to her now. But this was her Garden and she wasn't about to let it get out of control. "And rioting isn't going to change anything Seifer."
Seifer smiled charmingly, "Riot? What riot is that?" He gestured towards the people watching them. "They just want to know why we haven't had a bathroom until this week."
"We had no need to before."
"Why not? And why now?"
Quistis felt like she was being quizzed by a reporter. 'No comment', she thought wearily. This should be something that Cid took care of, not her. "Seifer, just stop being a pain in the ass for one day." Her hand rose automatically in dismissal as she passed by him. Would he ever stop being a nuisance?
Seifer wasn't sure if he had scored any points or not. He knew down deep that the problem didn't lie with Quistis or even Garden. There was something that had been wrong with the world and they had never noticed it. It was a disappointment that Zell wasn't with him to try and point out where his flaw lay. Sometimes, it was hard for Seifer to see what he was doing wrong. He felt that this wasn't resulting in much; he was just making himself frustrated by his own powerlessness. They hadn't realized about the bathrooms until days ago, what else would they find they were missing?
"Why the hell do you keep repeating yourself?" demanded Zell. This was a terribly frustrating day that was made worse by the man in front of him at the cafeteria.
"That was the last time I do that!" exclaimed the student for the third time. His anecdote before he had gotten stuck wasn't even that funny. But now he wouldn't say anything else. It was like he had reached his maximum word allowance.
Zell walked away, frustrated. He ran into Squall just outside the elevators. Squall seemed very agitated.
"Squall? What are you saying to yourself?" Zell hadn't been able to make out any of the ramblings coming from Squall and it was odd. It was odd that Squall was talking.
The brunette looked up, startled to see Zell in front of him and blocking his path. "I drew Irvine but it didn't mean anything."
Zell blinked.
"Then I had to use the bathroom. After that I was wondering...where did Seifer go after our training? I mean, that one time when he gave me the scar. I gave him a scar too, but he wasn't in the infirmary." Squall's eyes shut tightly and reopened as if trying to wake himself up. "Where did he go?"
Zell had never heard Squall talk that much. It seemed like his friend was on peyote or some mind altering substance. That wasn't permitted in Garden. Not very much was.
Being the kind person that he was, he decided to take Squall and hide him away until the drug wore off. He couldn't take him back to his room, as much as he cared about Squall, there was no way he would take the chance of getting caught. He also couldn't take him to Seifer's, since he had just seen Seifer in the quad. That left either Quistis (The teacher), Selphie (The spazz), or fairly neutral Irvine. Zell chose Irvine.
"You're lucky you caught me in, I was just about to go and woo some girls in the library." Irvine grinned at Zell. It was nice being such a lady-killer. Just a smile and the old Kinneas charm was all it took.
Zell rolled his eyes. He didn't need to be hearing this now. Instead, he grabbed the Squall he had taken and thrust him into Irvine's room. "Squall is on some drug and I think he should stay here until, well, until he's not hallucinating."
Squall protested. "I'm not on a drug... Irvine!" His cheeks turned pinkish and he looked away from the cowboy like a crushing girl. His hands were covering his cheeks and his eyes were closed. He didn't notice that the other two were staring at him.
Irvine took a glance at Zell. "What is he on?" It didn't seem like a very Squallish thing to do. He seemed like too much of a control freak to try hallucinogens.
Zell shook his head. "I don't know, but I'm hungry and am going to Balamb for some fish again." He needed to leave. He wanted to take Seifer and escape this insane asylum.
"All these problems need to be fixed immediately. We NEED showers! Cid doesn't even care about any of this. The...knowledge hasn't spread to him."
"Hey Mr. Anarchist!" yelled Zell. He had left Seifer for a few hours and the man was already trying to take over the Garden. "Halt the revolution! We're getting dinner."
"I didn't mean to draw you. It just sort of happened."
They were sitting on Irvine's bed attempting to figure out why it was that Squall's seemed to be on acid.
"I was...wearing clothes right?"
"Of course!" Squall had to defend his manly honor. He may have been drawing pictures of another man, but they weren't nudie pics. Though now that he was thinking about it...
"Well then, I don't really see anything wrong with that." His brown eyes soulfully held Squall's gaze. "After all, we're buddies right?"
Squall said, "Mmmhmm" just before his lips were squished against Irvine. He wasn't sure who had kissed who. They were both leaning together on Irvine's bed at the same angle.
Squall felt more comfortable than he ever had before. There was no confusion at all. This was a good place to be and a good thing to be doing. So they kissed.
Selphie clapped her hands and slid her shoulders left and right. She loved her taste in music. But, she had been in her room dancing for nearly a half an hour and she felt the need to do something else. She could go eat something, but she had a feeling there wouldn't be any hotdogs left anyway. She wanted to socialize. Maybe if she found Irvine, he could think up something fun to do. He was her best friend mostly because of their innate socialization skills.
She strolled past dorm rooms of people she knew, only occasionally knocking to see if anyone was home. No one was ever in their rooms in the afternoon. She sighed, her arms coming down to pull her on her dress a little. She always wore such a short outfit.
When she reached Irvine's room, she made a quick wish that he would be inside, then knocked. She waited, but no was answering. He must not be home. She cursed her bad luck angrily.
"Selphie, have you seen Squall?" asked a voice behind her. Quistis stood there, looking worried. That wasn't a rare look for Quistis.
"Nope, have you seen Irvine?"
Quistis shook her head. She didn't know where Squall had run off to, but Cid was in a panic. They needed the dark-haired man to restore order to the chaos. And he had to help before Seifer led all the students to violence. She wondered if Zell would be helping Seifer now that they were a couple.
Selphie waited for Quistis to say something else, but she just stood there thinking. Perhaps Quisty was spending too much time with Squall. Then she did speak. Now Quistis wasn't a very big gossip, but something had reminded her about Seifer and Zell.
"Seifer and Zell are having sex. They told me this morning."
Selphie laughed. Right! Big ego-driven Seifer hooking up with sweet little Zell. "Yeah, and Irvine and Squall are having sex too!" Why not? The whole garden could pair up into odd little gay couples!
Quistis stared at her with big round eyes. Selphie was about to ask what was up, when she watched the teacher turn towards Irvine's dorm room.
An utterly silent moment of disbelief passed between them. "No!" Selphie threw her hands down dramatically. "They may both be missing, but aren't we jumping to conclusions?"
"Stranger things have happened lately..." Quistis said, pulling out her Teacher's keycard.
"QUISTIS! You can't just barge into Irvine's room!" What if Squall really was in there? What would they be interrupting?
Normally, she would have respected Irvine's privacy. But she hadn't been feeling like herself, so she slid the card through and pushed open the door. "So, what are you up to?" Quistis asked in a cheerfully evil voice. She actually was hoping that she would catch Irvine in the act of something dirty. Unfortunately, it appeared that the fun had already been had. Squall was underneath Irvine's blanket staring at her in shock.
"None of your..."
"Business," she finished and then giggled. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry. I don't' know why I did that." Sometimes she annoyed herself. And who wouldn't be irritated by an anal retentive pink nightmare that finished other people's sentences?
Irvine had jeans on luckily. He was scratching his head. "Instructor, why are you in my room?"
Quistis had a guilty expression on her face. "I need Squall. Well, not like you need Squall." She coughed nervously. Why had she decided to barge into Irvine's room? It was such an awkward moment. "The school is rioting. Cid wants Squall up top immediately."
Quistis grabbed Selphie's wrist and pulled them both from the room. Selphie's mouth was still open. She wasn't speaking or moving; it was very untypical.
Irvine shrugged. "Did I knock the drug out of your system?" he asked Squall with a grin.
"Okay, they are having sex. Our entire school has gone gay and insane." Quistis laughed suddenly. "Hey Selphie, do you suddenly feel an enormous urge to change out of these pink and yellow clothes?"
Selphie slowly looked downwards. Ye gods! What was she wearing? Her ensemble was a bright yellow jumper that barely covered her ass. She was horrified. With a quick nod to Quistis, they set off towards Quistis's dorm room.
Squall spun around and around in his swivel chair. Technically it was Cid's but since Cid wasn't really a leader, it didn't seem to matter much. Nothing mattered much to him anyway. "Whee!"
"Um, Mister Leonhart…are you on something?"
"Nida! Don't ask our leader that! Squall, snap out of it, we need your help right now. The garden is going crazy and it needs you to be intelligent for it." Xu was not used to losing control of situations. Even with what a small part she played in saving the world from the Sorceress, she felt like she had some control. The problem with this was that she didn't even really know what the problem was.
"Why do monsters carry items? They never use them, not that I've seen anyway." Squall giggled happily. "Don't you guys see? I'm finally myself. I have…" He leaned his excited delicate face towards them. "I have more dimensions now. I'm not just a moody grumpy lone wolf!"
"I see that Squall. You also have a ridiculous and irritating side. Please focus on the situation."
Squall squinted at her. "Wow, you sounded just like Quistis. Hey, you two are kind of alike."
Xu and Quistis were close to each other, so it wasn't as if it was an insult. Still, she was so maddened by Squall's behavior, that she actually found her hand smacking his cheek. With horror, she dropped the offending hand and stepped back from his desk.
Squall grabbed his cheek. "Ow! Xu hit me! Bad Xu! You are expelled!"
Nida stepped in front of the shocked woman. "Mister Leonhart, the students are panicked and only you can help them."
"What is your last name Nida?"
Nida frowned. Why did Squall want to know his last name? He couldn't actually think of his last name. He certainly must have one. He seemed to know Squall's last name.
Squall had moved on to other thoughts. "Do you two know where Rinoa is? I can't seem to find her anywhere. Well, I haven't really been looking for her. I've kind of been sleeping with Irvine all day."
Xu glanced over at Nida. His eyes were darting from left to right but he didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular. "I haven't seen Rinoa."
Squall stood up from the chair. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I never wanted to be leader. I'm not even very good at it, I'm just lucky. I mean, I only made a few decisions by myself, the rest of the time I just went along with somebody else. Maybe you should just find someone else to be in charge of Garden." He touched Xu lightly on the shoulders. "Maybe Quistis can help you. But right now I have to go find Irvine and do some necking."
There was a scream and a loud crash. Both looked over to see the broken window that Nida had jumped out of. The scream had been, "My life is pointless!"
