Of Teddy Bears and Morose Thoughts

Plot Summary: A Naruto fiction inspired by Pride and Prejudice.

Paring: Naruto/Sasuke (Lizzie/Darcy), Iruka/Kakashi (Jane/Bennett), Itachi/Orochimaru (Lydia/Wickham)

Rating: Mature

Genre: Humor, Parody and everything Jane Austeny

Disclaimer: We own Jane A. We don't Naruto. Yet.

Chapter Four

(We the authors, being the Holy Ones, have decided to skip the first few chapters as it contains all talk and no action. So, now everyone is at the ball).

Naruto was complaining to Iruka that Sasuke, the most eligible, drop dread gorgeous, fuckable person at the party was being an asshole. Again. Like that was something new. Iruka, on the other hand, was definitely not paying attention as he was entranced by the secretive smiles, which only he could see (because of magical jutsus), that Kakashi was projecting. (Well, that's what Iruka thought. Naruto personally figured that anybody who hid their face behind black silk scarfs were sketchy and should be avoided).

"Oh my God, did you see that guy's ass? Mmm…mmm," Naruto whined. Then he continued with a boisterous declaration, "But he is so mean." After which, Naruto promptly started to cry and then forced himself to stop because that was unmanly. Okay, granted, Naruto was checking out another guy, but that was beside the point as Iruka was doing the very same.

Naruto's eyes narrowed and Iruka's squeal of happiness simultaneously as Kakashi approached them.

"Would you like to dance in that other room over there?" Kakashi very politely queried, somehow managing to bow over Iruka's hand, kiss it and gesture to dark, empty room all the same time, while holding two jugs of…water.

Iruka managed to nod in a somewhat dazed and delighted manner. Then, they were off, the two of them blazoning a fiery path, sculpting their future together and generally having kinky sex in the dark room with two jugs of water in the eighteenth century, pre-Victorian Jane Austen book (set before the coming of Big Brother and etc).

In the meanwhile, Sasuke had been contemplating Naruto and was shooting Naruto very suggests looks, which unfortunately went unnoticed by Naruto.

I know I am an arrogant bastard, but a damn rich one at that. And handsome. (Sort of. Because I am too pale and girly to be really manly. So, I guess I'm more beautiful than handsome. Whatever…). And egocentric, and materialistic. I do so love to cuddle and I am in love.

Naruto sighed and tore his gaze away from Sasuke (much like Sasuke was doing). The two beautiful, noble creatures were doomed to spend their time apart….Or would have been, had not Sasuke started to walk towards Naruto.

End of Chapter Four

Side Ficcy

Sasuke: I love looking at your silky, slender, lovely…

Naruto: Sa..suke….

Sasuke: It's just that your are so enticing sometimes

Naruto: Move DAMNIT.

Sasuke: And I just want to pet them

Naruto: Hurry up.

Sasuke: So compelling….

Naruto: Sasuke

Sasuke: I am so happy that you bought me this giant, life size teddy bear of doom.

Naruto: Materialistic bastard.

Sasuke: Naruto, wait don't leave. We can do it with the teddy bear.

door slams shut

(To be continued)