Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no Go.
Chapter 5 : The decision
In Hikaru's dream,
" Why? Why? Sai," Questioning with great confusion, Hikaru wailed in a loud high voice, his body quivered with yearning. After all those suffering years, finally he found Sai; his best friend, his brother, his mentor, his ghost, his shadow, his guardian. Sai was here standing before him. All he wanted to do was burying his face into that beautiful Kariginu sensing the scent of Wisteria again. But Sai… " Why? Sai, Why?" his voice grew weak.
" If you cross the river," Sai gave him a sad smile in return, " You'll die, Hikaru," he explained.
" What?"
" You're attacked, don't you remember?" the ghost reminded him.
' Me? Attacked?' Suddenly, the blond felt the surprising sharp unpleasant pain in his chest. " That guy..at the corner," Whispering softly, Hikaru fell down on his hand and his knees and got a terrible headache, " He..He held something in his hand…then I fell down," Panting heavily, he tried to support himself with one hand only while the other one placed on his chest where he was stabbed.
" Yes,"
……………………
" It's you," Looking up from the ground, he mumbled, " That voice…it's yours," Puffing for breath, he murmured.
" That's right. It's me," Sai nodded, " But you didn't listen to me, Hikaru, You haven't changed a bit," the happy ghost chuckled softly, " I can't tell you how glad I am to see you again. I disappeared without telling you how I was proud of you," he said as his eyes filled with tears, " Thank to you, Lord, For giving me the second chance," he wept, " Meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened to my life, Hikaru, there's not a day passing by without laughter…Living with you remind me how it is like…to live again..Thank you, Hikaru, Thank you for everything. I just want you to know that I'm very proud of you, My friend, my best friend, my only friend, my student," Sai couldn't fight back the tears any longer, " Now, it's time for you to go back," he beamed as tears were pouring down his cheeks.
………………………
………………………
Still kneeling in the middle of the river, Hikaru muttered silently, " NO,"
" What?"Sai exclaimed in surprise.
"I said No!" Declaring loudly, the boy quickly rose and walked toward the Heian ghost, his Heian ghost.
" Hikaru! Don't! You can't come any closer!" Sai screamed in horror as he saw his stubborn friend clumsily took another step to his shore. He jumped into the river without thinking trying to block Hikaru's way.
" Let me go!" Trying to push Sai out of his way, the bleached bangs boy shouted angrily.
" No!" Sai seized Hikaru's arms and squeezed them tightly, " You can't come to this side!" he shouted right to Hikaru's face.
" You come back with me then!" the green-eyed boy snapped back.
" I can't! My time is over!" the 1000-year-old ghost yelled back.
" Then let me go!" Hikaru retorted piercingly.
" You'll die, don't you get it !"
" I understand damn well!" Struggling with all his force trying to free himself from Sai, he countered back.
" Then, Why? Why? Why!" Sai exploded.
With all body and soul, finally the athletic boy won. Though, he could push his weak friend away, he himself lost his balance, "Because, I don't want to be alone anymore!" Yelling back, he staggered and fell, " I don't want to be alone anymore.." he cried uncontrollably with bitter tears.
Sai himself was crying, he slowly knelt down and held Hikaru tightly in his arms, " Hikaru…Hikaru…My poor Hikaru," ' It's not that I don't want to be with you but…'
There, they were, in the middle of the river that separated the world of the living and the death, clung together as tight as they could as if they feared that somebody would break them apart. Sobbing their heart out until their eyes ran out of tears, both of them were all wet by the waters and tears of sadness.
" There…there is so much t..to.. tell," Still crying, Hikaru whimpered faintly. "Many…many thing hap..happens..af..after you left," he clutched Sai's soaking wet Kariginu even tighter, " Please, Sai, don't chase me away," he buried his face into that warm longing chest.
" It's not that I chase you away, Hikaru," Stroking Hikaru's soft hair, Sai whispered into his ear, " I'll never do that,"
" Then why? Why? Sai," the heartbroken boy wailed.
" I just..can't, you'll die,"
" I've already been dead!" Pulling himself away from the embrace, suddenly Hikaru burst out crazily, " I died a long time ago! Since the day you left!"
" Hikaru,"
"Nothing is the same after you left, Sai, it's just…not the same," Looking into those familiar blue eyes, he narrated his sad story, " I play, I win but…somehow it's different without you,"
" Hikaru,"
" Don't you want to be with me anymore? Don't you want us to be together again?"
" Hikaru," Sai lost his speech, he kept searching into those green-emerald eyes that once had been brighter than stars sparkling with happiness and hope but now the same pair of lively green eyes changed into a cold lifeless one…the joy that once had shined vividly had faded away, it had been replaced and consumed by deep sorrow and bottomless despair. ' This is not Hikaru, He's not Hikaru that I know, Oh God! What have I done! What have I done!'
" Let's go, Hikaru,"
A/N : Sai, are you sure? Don't forget to read the following Extra info section.
Extra info :
Japanese Ancient Belief about life after death:
Japanese Underworld is divided in two kingdoms; The land of the death and the land of demon. Let's say that they have a politic problem… a different concept of death, that's why they don't unite and separate into two kingdoms.
The Land of the death which has Lord Meo as the emperor is in charge of the deaths and their rebirths.
The Sanzu River, which is the Japanese version of the Styx that separates the world of the living people and the world of the death, is in the Land of the death.
After people die, they will cross the Sanzu River by a boat to the Land of the death. Unlike Styx that has a ferryman, The Sanzu River has a ferrywoman instead. ( Too bad that I forgot her name)
After the deaths reach the Land of the death, they'll walk along the path that called Sai-ho-rai. Sai-ho-rai is the path that leads into mountains, along the path, there'll be boundless flower fields. The deeper the deaths walk into the mountains, the purer their souls will be. When they reach the 10th mountain which is the last mountain, their souls will be purest, then the emperor Meo will judge them and send them to rebirth again.
Some patient claims that when they were in a coma or when they were on the edge between life and death, they dreamed that they were by the river…and across the river, on the opposite shore, there was their beloved one ( who has already passed away) waving, calling them, telling them to cross the river and join them. Therefore, if you have a similar dream, Don't GO! Don't Cross the river! I don't want my fan to join Sai yet!
kari : "i dont even know where thailand is."...hohoho I'm crying!
Kat Sakura : Don't worry Kat, I won't post a fic unless I've finished it and I update everyday, these're my policy :)
siobhn01 : You got it right.
dragonshadow : " Ipray that you might live forever" Umm, th..thank you ( although Forever is too long but Thank you)
gravitationgig : " is it just me or the chapter is too short?" Umm, maybe it is. ( haha) It's only 966 words only.
xiar : whatever you are the god of this fic..." Feel so good to be God:) By the way, Thank you for your review in Like father,like son. "i think you are the author that actual made me start writing reviews of almost every chapter of the fic" I'm so flattered :) It'd be an honor!
kathy : Here as your request.
purereflection : Hey! Welcome back, long time no see :)
