Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
"I need to talk you." He said desperately trying to ignore Dean and focus on getting Rory back. He was on a mssion and he didn't need anything to get in theway. He was so fucked up when he left. A kid who was too scared to say goodbye to the person he cares about most, too ungrateful to thank the only person in his family who actually gave a shit about him. He left to find himself, to try to get his act together, to make himself worthy of the one person who had his heart from the first time they made eye contact.
It took him so long realize that he needed to get his life in order or he was not only going to bring himself down, but Rory to. He knew he hurt her, but if he had stayed it would have been worse. He would just push her away, they'd fight and nothing would be right. They'd be miserable and would start to resent each other. If that happened, both of them would regret everything but would be too stubborn to reconcile.
So here he was, nine months later practicly begging to speak to her. He's standing on her doorstep in Yale, a place he would never belong, next to Dean Forrester, the person he hates with a passion, trying to talk to her.
"Jess..." Dean says wariningly. He hates this piece of scum standing next to him. He was the reason that Rory wasn't his girlfriend, fiance or even wife. If he hadn't come to town they'd still be together, perfectly happy. Dean told himself this so much he actually begna to believe it. He knew deep down that even without Jess, they wouldn't be together, but he didn't want to admit it. So instead he blamed it on the person he hated most.
At first he just disliked the way he walked into town with the 'I don't give a fuck' attitude and his books. Then, as Rory preferred Jess's company over Dean's, that dislike grew into jealousy. When it became obvious to him Rory was in love with him, even when she denied it, that jealousy turned into pure hatred. And that hatred grew and grew everytime he saw them together. But when he left, instead of being pissed and wanting to kill him for hurting Rory, he was relieved that he was out of their lives. The point of inviting Rory to his wedding was so that she could object when the time came and they'd be together again. But that plan backfired and now he and Lindsay were constantly fighting, stuggling with bills, he was never at school because he was working, and he and Rory were still broken up.
Now, he's standing next to Jess piece of shit Mariano trying to keep him away from Rory. He was planning to divorce Lindsay for Rory, and if Jess was back, that wouldn't happen. "I need to talk to you." He heard Jess say again. He wanted to beat him to pulp right now, but if he did, Rory may never forgive him again.
"What's going on?" Dean asked clearly confused.
"Rory please." Jess said pleading her to let him explain.
"Go - - Go home." She was still so mad at Jess, but if he came all the way to Yale from where ever the hell he was the last three months to talk to her, she figured she should at least hear him out. She loved him so much. When he left without a word she thought that it meant he didn't love her, that she was just a conquest to him. But three months ago when he showed up in Stars Hollow and told her he loved her, she realized just how much damage to his persona had been done to him before he came to Stars Hollow. It's not that he didn't love her, it was that he was too scared of being rejected. That's what she thought at least. But that didn't really alieve alt of the hate she was feeling right now.
"No."Dean said firmly. He didn't want them to talk. That would only mean bad for him.
"Yes, go. You should go." She says not sure if she should tell Jess to leave to. When Dean does leave she turns to Jess. "Why won't you leave me alone? You won't go away." She opens the door to her dorm and goes in not looking back to see if Jess is following. He does.
"I need to talk to you, to explain why I put you through all the bullshit I did. You deserve to know-" He started but she cut him off.
"I do deserve to know. Do you know how many nights I stayed up trying to figure out why you left? I said I wouldn't pine, but I did. I couldn't help it, I kept thinking it was me. I made you want to leave, that I was just a conquest to you like I was to Tristan. And I couldn't handle that. So many nights I cried myself to sleep even though I didn't want to. I want and need answers Jess." She told him, tears threatening to fall. She wanted to move on and she couldn't do that without closure.
"When I left... I was fucked up. My life in NY was about taking care of myself trying not to get killed, getting laid and partying with my friends. Look at my rolemodels. Liz is getting her life together now, but when I was growing up there was almost never a time where sh was sober. So by the age of ten I picked it up. My dad left when I was born, Rory. That made me feel like noone wanted me so I lost myself in drugs, sex and books. I closed myself off to everyone. You were the first person I let in. Even if it was only a little, I let you in. I changed myself for you. I quit smoking and tried to let you in. But all those years made me what I was when I left. A scared kid, desperately in love but too stupid to admit it, with messed up parents and too much pride to let anyne in too deep.
"I left to keep you from all the pain that would come if I were to stay. I would have brought you down with me because I was so messed up. I went to find myself, and in order to do that I had to find my roots. So I followed my dad to California without telling anyone. I was too scared that if I said goodbye, that either you'd talk me into staying or it'd be the last time I got to talk to you. So I left, and six months later I told you something I wanted to tell you on your graduation day. I wanted to talk to you so bad that day, to tell you how proud I was of you, to tell you I love you and tell you I'm sorry for being such an asshole. Nothing came out of my mouth that day. But right after I told you that I left afraid of getting rejected.
"But I'm reliable now. You can count on me not to let you down. I made those mistakes, but not without learning from them first. I love you so much it hurts not to be with you. To be able to talk to you, touch you, kiss you. This past year has been hell without you." He finished. Throughout his entire explaination his eyes never left hers. He wass so close to breaking down right there, but he held it in somehow.
Rory was speechless. That was probably the most Rory gad ever heard Jess say. She never expected him to look so lost. Alot of the anger she had felt just minutes before disipated. She didn't know why, but she wanted to kiss him. He had just opened up and finally let her in, explaining why he left last year, that it was her who made him leave, but to make himself into the person she knew he could be, not to get away from her. She wanted to tell him she forgave him so much, but there was this feeling she had that was telling her she shouldn't make it that easy to be forgiven.
When she didn't say anything seeming to be fighting an inner battle, he repeated the words he had wanted to say to her so many times but never did. "I love you, Rory."
When she heard him say those simple words, she wanted to say them back and kiss him telling him he was forgiven but they still had some things to work out. "I love you too, Jess." They moved towards each other and kissed with all the emotion they held in for the past two years. Hatred, love, sadness, joy, confusion and pure bliss.
When they pulled apart she rested her head against his. "We still have alot to talk about, and you have to prove to me that I can trust you again. I will not be in the relationship we were in last year. You're going to need to let me in like you just did and not shut me out. I won't be able to handle you pushing me away again. And-" He cut her off with a soft kiss like he used to.
"We'll talk later, I promise." He smiled down at her knowing that with alot of effort on both parts, they could finally be happy together. She smiled knowing what he was thinking and agreeing. They kissed once again but softer and slower. Just lingering in the moment, because nothing else mattered in that moment. Not the town, Dean, Lorelai, or anyone else. The only people who mattered were them, and for now, they were good with that,
A/N I know! It's been done over to death! But I couldn't help it. I started this with one idea, but somehow that turned into this. Not really sure how that happened. I've read stories where they do it from Jess's POV or Rory's POV so I decided to add Dean's POV as well. I don't think it's very original and there might be a story like this all ready so I'm sorry if I took ideas, I kinda just started writing. Please tell me if you think it's crap and should be taken down. I really would apreciate feedback. I'm sorry for mistakes, but it's late and I don't catch all of them. An the title is from the song 'We Belong Together' by Mariah Carey. I was listening to it and it sorta gave me the inspiration to write this. REVIEW!
