Chapter 4 - We're going to take care of this

I woke up groggily to a sunny day. Wait, a sunny day? Usually when I get up it's dark outside. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was 10:25.

"Oh shit," I thought, "I'm going to be late for school."

I immediately got up and ran into my bathroom. I took a quick 10-minute shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. I ran downstairs only to find my mom on the couch, sitting there with a box in her hand.

"Mom! Why didn't you wake me? Now I'm going to be late for school!"

When I walked in front of her I saw her with tears in her eyes and I immediately recognized the box she was holding. It was my pregnancy test.

"Liberty, what the hell is this?" My mom said holding up the test.

"Wh-Where did you get that?"

"This morning I decided to clean up the bathroom, because you hadn't done it months, and when I went to pick up the trash can, this," she held up the box, "fell out of it."

I just stared at her.

"Answer me god damnit!"

"I'm sorry mom. I was going to tell you, but I just--"

"You just what?"

"I don't know mom, but I was going to tell you! I promise!"

"Just wait till your father hears about this!"

"He's not my father."

"Don't you DARE use that tone with me young lady!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was shocked and I had to think about everything for myself before talking with anyone else."

"Am I the first to know?"

"Yes mom, you're the first to know."

"I don't want you telling anyone ok? We'll just keep this between us. Were going to take care of this ok? Don't worry."

My mother and I hugged. It felt awkward. It felt forced, but nonetheless a hug.

We separated and my mother looked up at me, "Why don't you go upstairs and I'll make an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Ross, ok sweetheart?"

I nodded, "Ok."

I went up stairs to my room. I sat on my bed and started crying. Even though I knew that having a baby would change my life, I still wasn't sure if I wanted an abortion. I couldn't handle any more of the silence and turned on the radio.

The song just seemed to know exactly how I was feeling.

[I close my eyes when I get too sad]

[I think thoughts that I know are bad]

[Close my eyes and I count to ten]

[Hope it's over when I open then]

[I want the things that I had before]

[Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door]

[I wish I could count to ten ]

[Make everything be wonderful again]

[Hope my mom and I hope my dad ]

[Will figure out why they get so mad]

[Hear them scream, I hear them fight ]

[Say bad words that make me wanna cry]

[Close my eyes when I go to bed ]

[And I dream adventures that will make me smile]

[I feel better when I hear them say ]

[Everything will be wonderful someday]

[Promises mean everything when you're little]

[And the world's so big ]

[I just don't understand how]

[You can smile with all those tears in your eyes]

[Tell me everything is wonderful now ]

(Na na na na na na na)

[Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now]

[I go to school and I run and play]

[I tell the kids that it's all okay ]

[I like to laugh so my friends won't know]

[When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home]

[Go to my room and I close my eyes ]

[I make believe that I have a new life ]

[I don't believe you when you say ]

[Everything will be wonderful someday]

[Promises mean everything when you're little]

[And the world is so big ]

[I just don't understand how]

[You can smile with all those tears in your eyes]

[When you tell me everything is wonderful now]

[I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now]

[I don't wanna hear you say ]

[That I will understand someday]

[No, no, no, no ]

[I don't wanna hear you say] [You both have grown in a different way]

[No, no, no, no]

[I don't wanna meet your friends]

[And I don't wanna start over again]

[I just wanna my life to be the same]

[Just like it used to be ]

[Some days I hate everything]

[I hate everything ]

[Ever wanna live with me?]

[Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now]

[I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now]

* Credit to this song, Wonderful, goes to Everclear.