Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I only own the O.C.'s and my story. J.K. Rowling is kind enough to lend me the setting & some characters, though.

Reviewers:

Tiger Lily21: Thanks bunches! Yep, online lingo abounds in my (now former) high school, and I'm another American who is appalled by people's grammar. Can you believe that in the new textbook the English teachers are forced to use, they define a noun as "a word that can be made plural by adding s." Like MICE? I'm appalled, since the current definition (a person, place, thing, or idea) covers every single noun and is rather simple. (Oops… sorry about the rant).

StrayCat1: Thanks a lot! You know, the oddest thing is that I actually don't have a best friend, yet I hear the line all the time- and usually directed toward someone with chocolate, water, or a tuner (band class).

Roguehobbit: I didn't mean to give you chocolate cravings! Yeah, free chocolate is nice. There's a guy at my (former) school that carried around multiple bags of candy, and gave it out to people!

ZIPPIYGIRL: Thanks! Glad you like it, sorry for the delay.

SilverPhoenix2: Yes, indeed, she is a true Malgramer and all that is evil- well, the last part is a bit exaggerated. As you guessed, her bad grammar is supposed to be annoying- especially to Hermione Granger, Minerva McGonagall, and Severus Snape. Wheee!

1 more note: the formatting is funny, I know. Bad formatting, annoying Excuse the grammar; I guess MSM is getting to me, too. ;-)

Chapter 3: Making her Marks

Professor Snape stared down his potions class; although he appreciated some of his Slytherin students, he was not happy to see Potter, Granger, and Weasley in his class. Then he saw his newest Slytherin, Ms. Malgramer, and found himself disliking her. She was staring at him with a smug expression on her face, as if she thought she could charm him just by existing.
"Stupid veelas," he muttered under his breath. "They think they can charm the world by merely existing." Snape reached for a piece of chalk and started writing the ingredients for Stottering Potion on the board; he hated using his wand when he didn't have to. Then, twelve seconds before class began, he took the roll call. Malfoy and Ms. Malgramer walked in twenty seconds later.
"You're late," Snape said crisply. "Malfoy, I am ashamed of you for being late because of… this." Draco looked up at him with surprise; usually Snape was more benevolent with him. "Ms. Malgramer, you must always be on time in this class. You must report to me for detention for a week." Gasps of horror filled the room.
"That's not fair!" Mary Sue protested. "I'm late for a ligament reason!" Hermione burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"Ms. Granger," Snape said, "Stop that unseemly display, and inform us of the reason for this." She could not stop, so she tried to explain between spasms of laughter.
"Ligament reason," she wheezed. "I (giggle) suppose she (giggle, wheeze) displaced her shoulder (giggle) by walking (giggle) down the hallway (snort)." Snape's eyebrows rose slightly, and the corners of his mouth curled up in what could have been a grimace or amusement. The Gryffindors watched nervously to see what would happen.
"Compose yourself, Ms. Granger, or I will have to make you a potion. Now, Ms. Malgramer, did you indeed displace your shoulder?" Mary Sue looked up at him scornfully.
"No, indeed! As if I could injure my shoulder so easily! Why-"
"That is enough," he replied. "Now, do you have a legitimate reason for being late? You have already taken up a minute of my time, so hurry."
"Of course I have a ligament reason!" she replied coolly. "I got lost in spite of my excellent sense of direction, and Draco was just-" Although Hermione was no longer giggling out loud, spasms of laughter still shook her body.
"That will be enough," Snape replied crisply. "Two weeks of detention, and twenty points off of Slytherin- the days when you have to take points off your own house," he muttered. "Now, who can tell me what a Stottering Potion does?" he asked. Hermione and Mary Sue raised their hands.
"Ms. Granger?" he asked. The class gasped again. He ignored them.
"The stottering potion is similar to the stuttering charm except that not only does the person who ingests it stutter, but the person also wobbles as he or she walks and cannot express an accurate thought," she replied.
"Very good, Ms. Granger," he replied. "Now, moving on, please get out your cauldrons and mix up the ingredients. Please excuse me for a moment," he added.
"Y-es, sir," the class chorused nervously. He ignored them and walked over to his desk to write a short missive to Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Minerva McGonagall was in the middle of teaching first years how to transfigure needles when a letter popped onto her desk.
"Stupid i-mail," she muttered. Instantaneous mail, which did not require owls and arrived very quickly, had been introduced several years ago and was about to be made open to the students at Hogwarts, as well as places outside of the castle, but Professor McGonagall had rarely used it. "Excuse me, class. Please copy your notes on a clean piece of parchment to turn in for a grade." They groaned, but she ignored them to read the message.
To Headmaster Dumbledore.
Cc: Minerva McGonagall
Bcc: all other staff
Subject: Tardiness and Incompetence
Priority: Urgent!
Professor Dumbledore (and the cat, too, I suppose),
It took me twenty seconds to remember how the idiotic I-mail worked. Anyway, this is urgent. The newest Slytherin, Ms. Malgramer, has impudently breached my authority by telling me that she had a 'ligament' reason for being late to my class. I must confess I am concerned about this; she is admired by many students, excluding my nemeses, Minerva's Gryffindor students. I find myself disappointed in students such as Malfoy, who are taken in by the pompous broad.
Albus, if you have any idea what to do about this, i-mail me back. You too, Minerva, or anyone else.
Severus Snape, Potions master.
------------------------------------------------
Dragonstooth: useful for many spells, including but not limited to...

Minerva McGonagall sighed and tore off a piece of paper from her favorite parchment, which proudly displayed the Gryffindor crest on the top and cat prints on the bottom of the paper.
To: Snapping Turtle Albus All other staff … … …)
Subject: Re: The Slytherin who can't speak English.
Albus, Snape, and everyone else,

I must send my condolences to you, Severus. I have a few Americans myself, such as Lorelei Adams, but while she may use odd phrases such as "bite me" now and then, she really does know her English grammar.
Honestly, Albus, how exactly did she get into Hogwarts? I heard she is a transfer student. I can't believe we have to teach her! Is there any way to get her back where she came from! Half my Gryffindors (with the exception of Longbottom, Finnigan, and of course Potter, Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, etc.) are also drooling at the fool. She may have a tragic past, but that does not give her the right to storm in here and… never mind. I need to get off this subject before I transform into my animagus form and pounce on her with my claws.
I won't even get started on Malfoy. Actually, I will. Severus, you are rather mistaken about him. He is much like his father. Also, I would stop hating Potter. He really is a good kid, and your only hope against You-Know-Who (remember that), and he is training others to fight death eaters.
Meow!
-Minnie
P.S. Albus, is it possible to keep I-mail from piling up? I really don't wish to see piles of these missives on my desk, and it is a bother to receive them while I am teaching classes. Now I have to grade notes for goodness sake!
-M.M.-

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Hermione waited for rest of her potions class to leave before approaching Professor Snape.

"Professor," she began. He interrupted her.

"Go to your next class, Ms. Granger before I take points," he growled. She stood her ground.

"Professor, are you all right? I understand you may be dissatisfied-"

"GO!" he yelled. "Later," he added, waving her aside. "Get to your class." Hermione had plenty of time- she had even been given her time turner back- but she decided to obey. There was no use talking to Snape when he was that irritated, especially since they could deduct points.

When she left the dungeon, she was deep in thought and walked blindly into Ron. She pulled back, horrified, and turned red.

"Sorry," she gasped, noticing that his face was as red as his hair. "I wasn't-"

"No problem, Hermione," he assured her, looking at the floor. "Did you get to talk to Snape?"

"No," she replied with a sigh. "He's not in a very good mood- I suspect that he is dissatisfied with his newest transfer student."

"I don't see why you want to talk to him," Ron grumbled.

"Well, you didn't have to wait for me," Hermione snapped.

"Well, I wanted to," he snapped back. "I just wanted to know why you'd stay after class to talk to Snape when he keeps taking points off because you're in Gryffindor."

"I stayed to talk with him because if you haven't noticed, Mary Sue Malgramer is taking over the school and driving me bloody insane! If we hadn't used the anti-veela charm, she'd even be doing better than I am! While I'm not in her power, she-"

"But he's Snape!"

"And he's a possible ally," Hermione lowered her voice. "Come on, let's get to Transfiguration. You know how McGonagall is when people are late."

"Nag, nag, nag," Ron grumbled under his breath. After that, they walked in silence, not noticing the knowing glances of their classmates.

oooooooooooooooooo

Pansy Parkinson was infuriated. Not only was Draco not paying attention to her (he rarely did), but she had been deposed by none other than Mary Sue Malgramer. Oh, she was beautiful in her own Little Miss Muffet way, but honestly! She was… well, she wasn't Pansy herself, and that was the problem.

"This is not FAIR!" she suddenly screamed in the Slytherin girls' dormitories. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
"Oh, Panda- I mean, Pansy, aren't you ok?" Mary Sue asked, immediately worried.

"No, I am NOT okay, and you are- annoying!" Pansy answered with clenched teeth; since Mary Sue was currently the most popular, she guessed that the rest of the girls might be adverse to someone biting Mary Sue. There was a loud gasp throughout the room.

"But Pansy, how can you say that!" another Slytherin demanded. "That's just not fair! She's had such a sad life, and she's been showing us makeup tips!"

"Whatever," Pansy grumbled, knowing that she wouldn't get anywhere. "Have you seen my blue eye shadow?"

"You don't mean you're planning to use that, do you?" Mary Sue asked condescendingly. "It's, like, the most obstinate thing ever. Now everyone uses brown." None of the rest of them caught the mistake, being too enamored- or irritated- with Mary Sue. Pansy, of course, was the latter.

"I like my blue eye shadow," she replied. "Draco used to. Anyway, I am going to the library to study." With that, she flounced off. "I hate Mary Sue Malgramer," she muttered under her breath.

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OK people.

First of all, I have to beg your forgiveness for not posting in so long. I've been pretty busy with graduation and all of that, plus I'm working on at least 4 writing projects. I, er, just finished writing this chapter (short as it is) and decided to post it.
Secondly, I have to talk about i-mail. I designed it to be like e-mail, except for the fact that they don't use computers (yet)- I mean, most of the teachers would go bonkers. Unfortunately, it's similar to m-mail, which was used by Jeconais in This Means War. And, since I mainly designed it after the real e-mail only with parchment, I didn't ask permission.

She has a great (unfinished) story, by the way- it's hilarious. She's part of the protest group, so she no longer posts at this site.I tried to put in the link, but to no avail.

Thirdly, I really appreciate the reviews I've gotten, although I honestly do write for the fun of it- and because part of me just has to write. I think I'd go nuts if I didn't. That doesn't mean I don't like reviews, though. :-)

Fourthly & finally, (I'm making a lot of notes, aren't I?) no, Snape will not go soft on Harry in this story- it takes time to change- and the Hogwarts students won't have access to I-mail. Perhaps they will in the sequel to When Time Turns Back.
Thanks once again! I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Auramistealia

P.S. send any horrid mistakes you see on my way:-)