A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating this chapter. I've been fussing with it and rewriting a lot of it. I'm finally satisfied with this one and I hope you guys like it. Oh and italics are for flashbacks but it's pretty obvious when you get to it.
A/N2: It would rock if I could get up to 150 reviews with this chapter (hinthint), but I'll take any reviews I can get. I like to hear what people say, even if you just email like a few already do…you guys are all wonderful and I hope I did this chapter justice.
Disclaimer: Same old, same old.
PART 14: Love Hurts
An hour later, Logan and Ororo stood out by the lake, in a heated conversation. Things had started out friendly enough, but after Ororo's most recent question, Logan became highly annoyed. His voice was raised now and Ororo stood ten feet from him, her slender arms tightly crossed over her chest.
"Whaddya mean, 'is this a good idea?'!" He demanded for the third time.
"Look at what our union has caused!" She retorted, careful to keep her anger in check.
"Jean and Jube are fine." He replied with a slight snap. "The trees can be replanted and the roof ain't that bad. It's not a big deal, 'Ro."
"How can you say that?" Ororo said, sighing.
Logan glowered. He glanced up at the sunny sky and suddenly found himself wishing he were anywhere else. Canada would be nice, but anywhere would do. His breath hung on the air in white puffs as he thought over a response.
"No one was seriously hurt. Nothin' was seriously damaged." He replied coolly. "I don't see how us bein' together is bad. We had a fight. Big flamin' deal, darlin'."
"You say that as if it fixes everything." Ororo said, looking at him with an unreadable expression. "Some things cannot be fixed."
"We could try." He said.
"How can you honestly stand there, Logan, and tell me that this relationship is a good idea?" Storm demanded. "I injured my friends and destroyed a good portion of the grounds simply because of a small fight. I lost control because of a simple argument with you, Logan! What happens when we fight again? What happens when it's a bigger fight?"
"Ya just gotta work on keeping yerself in check." Logan said simply.
"I have been working on keeping myself in check since I was thirteen!" She retorted. "But then a simple argument with you has me losing complete control in under five minutes. I cannot allow that to happen again."
"Now that we know what'll happen, we'll just have t'be careful."
"Careful?" She questioned angrily. "I have always been careful, until last night. You managed to make me lose control of my emotions. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? The damage from what happened last night was small compared to what my powers are capable of doing. Losing control like that is something I cannot afford to do again."
Logan sighed as he tried to think of something else to say. She was being unreasonable, he thought. It was an accident, and while he had been upset about it earlier in the day, the meeting has soothed his anger. Ororo had taken full responsibility for her actions and was truly sorry for injuring her friends. That meant a lot to Logan and he found he couldn't be angry with her about last night. In fact, he felt proud of the way she handled the situation today.
"I am sorry, Logan, but I cannot allow myself to be with you." Her voice cut through his thoughts, catching him by surprise.
"What?" He questioned in disbelief.
"It's over, Logan." Ororo said, somewhat coldly. " I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me."
"Not workin' for you or for the team?" Logan challenged.
"Both." Came the curt reply.
"Bullshit."
"I enjoyed our time together, truly I did, but it's too dangerous for the team if we stay together. I refuse to endanger our teammates over this."
Her face showed no emotion as she said those words. Logan felt a deep pain welling up in his chest as he processed what she was saying. Recovering quickly from his shock, Wolverine stared at the woman who meant so much to him.
"This, as you so casually put it, happens t'be the best thing that's ever happened t'me, 'Ro." Logan replied. "Don't I have any say in this?"
His voice was steady and his body language didn't reveal any emotion whatsoever. Ororo's eyes met his and she frowned, trying to hold back tears. The blue eyes that she loved were narrowed at her in an expression she had only seen in the field.
"No, Logan, you don't. I'm sorry."
"I love you." He said simply but passionately.
Ororo looked at Logan with sad eyes but she did not say the three words that he was hoping to hear.
"This cannot continue."
Her words were final, confident, emotionless. Logan's expression hide the pain he felt and looked at his lover, hoping to see a crack in her fierce façade. None came.
"Fine." Logan replied flatly.
Without another word, Logan turned on his heel and walked back towards the mansion, chilled to his bones but it had nothing to do with the weather.
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. Spring was slowly showing its head as two months dissolved away and March was beginning. The last remnants of snow were melting and the trees had new buds growing on them. The fountain and roof were repaired. Saplings were planted to replace the trees that were killed. Logan had done most of the work with Remy, both men working in silence most of the time. The few times they spoke it was about motorcycles. Remy knew not to push the older man and Logan appreciated the younger man's silence about the subject that was clearly on his mind.
With an unnerving ease, Ororo and Logan fell into a routine of avoiding each other when they were in the mansion. The only times they really saw one another was in the Danger Room or in the field. Even then, they didn't meet often since Logan was usually under Scott's command on the Blue Team. At first, their lack of contact raised a few eyebrows among the other team members, but no one asked.
Ororo had taken to pruning the plants in the greenhouse or in her attic when she had any spare time. She knew Logan wouldn't come into the greenhouse due to the various, fairly potent scents that hung in the air. The attic had become off-limits to him and he knew it, so she felt comfortable there. When she could, Ororo often left the mansion with some of the other women for lunch or coffee in her attempts to avoid Logan.
Logan, on the other hand, spent most of his time in the mansion or in the garage. Working on his motorcycle took his mind off everything and gave him an excuse to give Remy a hard time about the state of disrepair the Cajun's bike was in. When he wasn't polishing the chrome on his bike, Logan was found in the Danger Room.
Jubilee was also a good distraction and he found himself spending a great deal of time with her. Her constant chatting annoyed most, but Logan enjoyed the sound of her voice so he rarely complained. After the first few days of awkward meals, Logan started eating dinner with Jubilee after everyone else had finished.
Their teammates noticed immediately that something had gone wrong. Jean asked Ororo what was wrong between them and received a bitter reply along with a rumble of thunder. After that, no one bothered to ask Ororo about Logan. Everyone already knew it would be pointless to ask Logan anything, so the subject slowly disappeared as the other X-Men continued with their normal routines as if nothing had happened.
"Hey, Wolvster." Jubilee greeted as she skated into the kitchen.
Logan nodded at her as he bit into his sandwich.
"I gotta do some simulations in the Blackbird today." She began, leaning on the counter with her roller blade stopper solidly on the floor. "Can you supervise me? The Prof said I needed a 'senior team member to oversee my training'." Her voice mimicked Charles' fairly well and Logan couldn't help but smile at her.
"Sure. Got nothin' else t'do." He replied around the final bite of his lunch.
"Great!" Jubilee exclaimed happily. "I booked the Danger Room for one."
Logan glanced at the clock on the wall.
"Well we better get down there." He said, standing. "It's five after."
Jubilee grinned and quickly skated out of the kitchen.
"No skates on that jet!" He called after her. He received a thumbs up in reply as the girl sped towards the large wooden door that led to the control booth of the Danger Room.
Jubilee entered the control booth and stopped short. Logan followed her in seconds later and did the same thing as the young woman. Ororo was standing in the control booth, surprised to see them both. It was the first time in weeks they had been in the same room together. Her eyes flickered to Logan for a second before she turned her attention to Jubilee.
"You are late, Jubilation." She said, ignoring Logan's scowl.
"Late?" Jubilee replied defensively. "For what?"
"The Professor asked me to oversee your training today since you never informed him who you had asked." The African goddess replied.
"I asked Wolvie." She said, pointing her thumb towards Logan.
Ororo looked at Logan and they didn't speak for a long moment. Jubilee felt as if she should leave but Logan was blocking the door.
"I'll take care of it, Storm." Logan said. His tone was flat and he crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive manner. "You can go back to yer flowers." He added in a vicious tone. Jubilee almost winced at his words but she managed to control her expression.
"Very well, Wolverine, but only if you're certain that your motorcycle can be left alone for so long a time." Ororo said, clearly irked by his statement. Jubilee watched as Logan's eyes narrowed and he was practically seething. Storm turned her attention away from him and looked down at the young woman. "Jubilation, the next time you are asked to train with a senior member, please make sure you inform the Professor of your choice."
Jubilee nodded, knowing now was not the time to make any smart comments. Ororo walked towards the door but Logan didn't move.
"Excuse me, Wolverine." When he didn't move, Storm added with a steely gaze, "As you said, I have flowers to attend to."
Jubilee could've sworn the temperature dropped as the words left Storm's mouth. The firecracker couldn't recall Storm sounding so, well, nasty in the time she had known the weather witch. Not even in the field had that tone been used. She watched as Storm and Wolverine locked eyes again. The tension in the room was palpable and Jubilee suddenly wished that she could teleport.
"Wouldn't want t'keep ya from such an important job." Wolverine finally said in a low voice, stepping aside.
Choosing to ignore his comment, Ororo swept by him and the door slammed shut behind her. Jubilee couldn't hide her reaction this time as the loud bang caused her to wince.
"Ouch." It was barely above a whisper but Jubilee knew he had heard it.
"Yeah." He replied simply, walking towards the controls. His voice was quiet so Jubilee could tell that seeing Storm had been painful. "Go on down and I'll set it up."
Jubilee nodded, knowing he wouldn't talk about it just yet. She quickly pulled on sneakers and climbed down into the Danger Room as he pulled up the simulation program.
Two hours later…
Logan was impressed by Jubilee's ability to handle the Blackbird, even if it was just a simulation. He had thrown her a few curve balls, causing about six different engine problems, but she had handled each one well. She was a natural at flying the large jet, he decided. While all of the X-Men could fly the Blackbird, only a few did so on a regular basis. He had a feeling Jubilee would join the select few once she was a little older.
"Let's go out for dinner." Logan said as she finished shutting down the jet.
"Really?" She said excitedly.
"Yeah."
"Cool!" Jubilee smiled and a few small fireworks popped in the air.
"Burgers sound good?"
"Of course." Came the prompt reply. Logan let a small smile settle on his face as they walked out of the Danger Room.
"We'll take the hog." He said, watching her reaction. He didn't think it was possible, but her smile got bigger.
"Alright!"
"Go change." Logan instructed. "I'd recommend pants since it's supposed to get pretty cool tonight. Meet me in the garage at six."
Nodding, Jubilee took off down the hall.
"So, Stormy be pretty upset, mon ami." Remy said as he stepped out of the shadows.
"Well, mon ami, it ain't none of yer concern." Logan replied without looking at the Cajun. Logan had known he was in the shadowy doorway as soon as the Danger Room doors opened.
"What happened?" Remy asked.
Logan let a small growl escape as he turned towards Gambit.
"Listen, Gumbo, it's none o'yer business."
"Stormy be my friend, Carcajou."
Wolverine looked up to the taller man and bared his canines. "Drop it, Cajun."
"Non." Remy replied simply. "I been bitin' my tongue for de past two months."
"Then keep on bitin'."
"What's de matter, homme? You've never been hurt by a woman before?" Remy almost spat.
"You don't know what yer talkin' about, so drop it." Logan said angrily.
"Remy thinks he maybe hit a nerve."
"Yer one t'talk about women, Remy."
"Remy jus' talkin' about Stormy." Remy said smoothly.
Shooting Remy an annoyed look, Logan turned away from his teammate.
"You better apologize to Stormy, is all Remy's sayin'." Gambit said, walking away.
"Kiss my ass." Logan replied, walking in the opposite direction. "I ain't the one who needs t'apologize."
Remy stopped but Logan continued walking away.
"What're you talkin' about, homme?" He called after him.
Logan didn't reply as he turned the corner. His nostrils were suddenly filled with the soft smells of vanilla and sandalwood. He cursed inwardly for not paying attention, but he wasn't about to turn around. Remy had distracted him and now he was walking straight towards the woman he wanted to avoid.
Ororo stood in the hall outside of the library speaking with Rogue, when she saw Logan. Rogue saw her friend's face go slightly pale and she turned her head, smiling sadly at Logan. Logan had stopped walking and was watching the women.
"Ah, um, ah gotta run." She said to Storm and quickly walked into the library. The door softly clicked behind her.
"Hello, Wolverine." Ororo said, her back visibly stiffening.
"Hey." Logan replied.
They stood about ten feet apart, an uncomfortable silence filling the hall.
"Is there something you need?" Ororo finally asked.
Logan contemplated her question and glanced at her stomach.
"Ya got dirt on yer shirt."
Ororo was surprised that he wasn't being sarcastic and she glanced down. Her brand new white blouse had a large smudge of dirt on it and she frowned.
"Thank you." She forced herself to say, brushing away most of the offending dirt.
"Don't mention it." Logan replied, walking towards her.
Ororo quickly looked up as she heard him walking. He didn't say anything more to her as he reached for the library doors.
"Logan?" Ororo began. It was the first time she had called him Logan in two months and he could've sworn he felt his heart skip a beat.
"Yeah?" Logan's hand rested on the doorknob, but he didn't look at her.
"I…" Ororo trailed off. He turned his head towards her, waiting. "Could we talk?"
"Maybe another time." He replied, shifting so he was facing her. "I'm meeting Jubilation in a few minutes."
Ororo nodded, then turned and walked down the hall.
Logan watched her go and, cursing to himself, walked into the library.
"Well played." Rogue drawled from a large chair by the window. Her legs were pulled up under her and she had a book open in her lap. Rogue's eyes were on the page in front of her but she knew it had been Logan who walked into the room.
"I don't remember askin' fer yer opinion, swamp rat." Logan growled.
Rogue looked up from her book and shrugged.
"Ah've been quiet for months about this." She replied simply. "Everyone has, so if Ah offer mah opinion this once, then don't tell me to shut my trap since Ah haven't bothered ya at all. Yoah lucky no one's said anythin' earlier."
"I've already had an earful from the Cajun. I don't need any more from you, Rogue." Logan said, walking by her. However, Rogue noticed his tone wasn't sharp any longer, but quiet almost.
Before she could reply, he was already gone.
One month later…
Logan stood outside of the center of the flower garden, watching Ororo work with the rich soil. Since that day in hallway, the two had fallen back into their routine of avoiding each other. It took a slap from Jubilee to set him straight.
"You are being such a GUY!" She had yelled, slapping his face during a sparing session in the Danger Room. Jubilee had been training with Logan for months now and it was the first time she solidly hit him.
Shocked more than anything, Logan stopped the program, touching his face where her small hand had left a red mark.
"Go talk to her." Jubilee demanded. She was the only one who had been able to talk to him about Ororo and not get a death threat. Of course, she knew that and was using it to her advantage.
"She's been avoidin' me, kid. She doesn't want t'talk to me." Logan replied.
"Oh bullshit."
"Watch yer mouth."
"Whatever, Wolverine. Where do you think I picked up the fine art of swearing?" She asked rhetorically.
Logan sighed.
Jubilation rolled her eyes.
"Listen, I've seen the way you look at her on the rare occasion you're actually in the same room together." Jubilee said without hesitation. "I know you miss her. Everyone knows, but that's not the point."
"Then what's yer flamin' point?" He growled.
"Yer growls never bothered me before, Wolvie, why on earth would they start now?" She asked with a hand on her hip. "My 'flamin' point', as you put it, is you're miserable without her. Would it be so awful to be friends again?"
Logan looked at his protégé, deciding if he should be annoyed at her persistence or not.
"Why not just give it a try?" She suggested when he didn't respond to her question. "If it doesn't work as friends, you can at least say you tried. You care too much about her to ignore her forever, ya know."
"Yeah, I know." He admitted, running a hand over his face.
"Plus, she asked you t'talk last month and you never made the effort to talk to her. You told her later and when it was later, you chickened out. Get yer head outta your ass and go knock on her door."
Their conversation had ended there as Jubilee walked out of the Danger Room, showing him that she had said all that she intended to.
Twenty minutes later, Logan was finally leaving the Danger Room. He had run a short workout to try to clear his mind but it hadn't really worked.
Mulling over Jubilee's words, Wolverine wandered the halls and was somewhat surprised when he found himself outside of the attic loft door. Deciding it was now or never, Logan knocked and waited five minutes before entering. When he found the room empty, he decided to hunt her down. He walked through the mansion and followed her scent outside until he found her working on her knees in the garden.
"Hey." He greeted, causing her to jump.
"I didn't hear you approach." Ororo said, her tone radiating with annoyance.
"Sorry, didn't mean t'interrupt. I'll leave ya t'tend yer flowers." Logan took the annoyance as a hint to leave and turned to go.
"Wolverine, wait." She said, leaning back and pulled her legs in front of her. "What is it that you need?"
"I thought I'd take ya up on that talk ya wanted last month." He said as he leaned back against one of the statues, keeping a ten-foot distance between them.
Surprised, Ororo nodded and pushed herself up onto the side of the large stone fountain.
"So, what did ya want t'talk about?" Logan asked, pulling out a cigar from his shirt pocket.
Letting out a deep breath, Ororo readied herself for a difficult conversation. She watched his match flash as he lit the small wooden stick and began lighting the cigar.
"I was wondering if it would be possible for us to be friends again." She said, looking at him in hopes of seeing his reaction. Knowing she was watching him, Logan kept his face neutral and didn't move much as he puffed on his cigar.
"Friends, eh?"
She nodded, waiting for him to continue. Logan rolled the cigar between his forefinger and thumb, thinking. Smoke swirled up around his face as Ororo anxiously waited for a response.
"What prompted this?" He asked, trying to stay neutral.
"I've known you for over eight years and we always managed to stay friends, no matter how bad things were with the team." She began carefully. "I value our friendship, Logan, and it pains me to know I haven't been able to call you a friend for the past three months. More to the point, I don't like this continued tension between us."
Pulling on the cigar, Logan let the smoke filter out through the side of his mouth.
"I realize it's my fault." Ororo continued when he made no response. "I'm sorry, Logan. I didn't think it would ruin our friendship. But if we cannot salvage our friendship, if you do not want to, then we need to at least maintain some form of a relationship, even if it's strictly professional."
She added, "This tension that is building between us will eventually become dangerous in the field."
Logan didn't reply as he studied his cigar. He knew he was using it as a distraction, but he couldn't think of anything to say.
"I dunno about a friendship." He finally replied.
Ororo nodded and stood up to leave, her eyes glistening in the spring sun.
His expression softened slightly as the love of his life wiped at her eyes, trying to prevent tears from falling.
"I'm sorry for wasting your time, Wolverine." Her voice was steady, but Logan knew she was barely holding it together.
"Ya hurt me deep in January, Ororo." He finally said to her back in a soft and gentle tone. Ororo recognized it immediately and felt like crying. It had been the tone he reserved for her when they had been alone in bed over the holidays. "I'm not a man to easily forgive something like that."
Paused in her stride, Ororo looked over her shoulder at him.
"But I'm willin' t'give it a shot fer you."
She smiled as a few tears trickled down her cheek.
They stood there, a few feet apart, unsure of what to do next. It had been an odd few months and Ororo wasn't sure if things were supposed to be perfectly normal again.
"Whaddya say we make some lunch?" Logan asked as he noticed how high the sun had risen.
"That sounds wonderful." Ororo agreed, pulling off her gardening gloves.
Logan and Ororo sat on the back patio at one of the smaller round tables with half-eaten sandwiches in front of them. For once, the mansion was quiet, as most of the team had gone out for the day. Saturday afternoon shopping was something of a ritual for the members of the X-Men since they rarely had time for it during the week.
"No shopping fer you today?" Logan asked.
"There is only so much of that mall I can stand." She admitted. "After being dragged there last Saturday by Rogue and Jubilee, I decided to garden today."
"In other words, hiding."
She smiled and nodded.
"Jubilee doesn't dare go near the garden after she destroyed my rose bushes last year."
"Well, ya gotta admit, it was well worth the damage to see her roller bladin' with the Cajun." He chuckled, thinking of the memory.
"I suppose it was more Remy's fault than hers that he couldn't stay up on those ridiculous roller blades." Ororo said wistfully. "Who knew the man with natural agility would fall into a rose bush and pull Jubilee in with him?"
"They were covered in thorns. Hank couldn't stop laughing when he was pulling them out from the Cajun's ass."
"Yes, it was fortunate for Jubilation that she only had a few in her arms and legs."
"A few? Hank pulled out about thirty."
"Well, compared to Gambit's eighty, I should think thirty would have been a blessing."
They fell into a comfortable silence then, both amused by the memory of Remy cursing in French as Hank slowly pulled each thorn from his backside.
If Logan hadn't known any better, he would've thought Hank was purposely going slow and enjoying the howls from Remy.
"How is Jubilation doing with her training?" Ororo asked, twirling a straw in her cup of iced tea.
"Great." Logan said, clearly proud. "She's a fast learner when she's not shooting off at the mouth. Actually managed to hit me earlier."
"Impressive. You must be a good teacher."
"You would know. Remember our sessions, back in the day?"
"Of course." She smiled. "How could I forget you teaching me hand-to-hand fighting and weapon handling?"
Logan raised an eyebrow, realizing she was teasing him "Charles was thinking it might be time to begin the more physically challenging aspect of her training." Ororo said, smiling to herself.
"He hasn't mentioned anything t'me." He commented.
"Well, I spoke with him just this morning regarding her training. Also, this type of training doesn't exactly involve you." Ororo explained. "She needs to be able to handle being teleported, for one."
"So I assume we'll be seeing the Elf?" Logan asked, pleased.
"He should be arriving tomorrow."
"Good."
"She'll also begin training with the flyers to learn how to adapt to free fall situations."
Logan seemed concerned but he didn't say anything.
"Do not worry, Logan." Ororo said. "Rogue, Warren and I will not let any harm come to her."
He grunted in response as his heard a distant engine pulling up the driveway.
"Sounds like Rogue's home."
"Good, I need to speak with her about Jubilee's training." The weather goddess stood up slowly and stretched her back. Logan heard a few pops as she cracked her back.
"Back hurtin' ya?"
"It's just a little tight."
"I could try t'work out some kinks." He offered.
"Perhaps later." Ororo said, her voice wavering a bit. She hated to admit it, but she was slightly uncomfortable with the thought of his hands on her back. "I must grab Rogue before she runs out again."
Logan nodded as she picked up her plate.
"I'll see you later." She said, walking towards the kitchen.
The waver in her voice, while slight, was more than enough information for Logan. She didn't want a physical relationship like they had before they dated. He used to give her back massages from time to time after missions and she was always happy to take him up on the offer. That had definitely changed, he thought in disappointment. If he couldn't be her lover, Logan was hoping he could still be her close friend.
Perhaps it was too soon, he thought. The entire conversation had started off extremely awkward – they had started off by talking about themselves and what had been going on over the past three months. However, after they started talking about their teammates, they fell into a much more comfortable zone. It had almost been like old times. Until that waver in her voice, Logan couldn't tell anything had ever been wrong between them. But now he realized there was still a distance between them and it would probably take a while before it was gone.
Well, guys, what do you think? I know it's started off as a more fluffy romance, but I wanted to throw in a twist and make it a little more real. Anyways, please review, even if you hated it, so I know if I should continue!
PAFJubes
