Disclaimer: We don't own YYH. In fact, we don't even really technically own the story. But we have a phone!

THIS CHAPTER WRITTEN BY KURENAI SAKEME AND HISAN KAGE. (We're trying to inspire Hosatsu to keep writing because….(gasp)….SHE WANTS TO STOP WRITING FANFICTION! (collective gasp)) (And YES we have permission!)

Authoresses' Note: Oh, and in the last chapter? You know how there was a girl? With pale skin? And she was hangin' from stuff? Well…we're not so sure that was a girl…..Pretty close to one though. Read on to find out!

Chapter Three

Blackmail ups the Ratings

Hiei and Botan, left pretty much alone after that episode with Junimara, had plenty of time for… "sleeping." Once they actually did fall asleep, they were soon awakened by a friendly knock at the door. Botan woke up, but Hiei was still dead-asleep. So she rolled out of bed with a thump, crawled out of the bedroom, and made her way to the door. Of course, first she got herself a cup of coffee.

She answered the door, and who should be standing there but that "girl" who had taken their picture last night.

"AH!" she screamed, throwing the cup of coffee in the air. It landed on her "guest's" head. "KARASU? BUT YOU'RE DEAD!"

Karasu was screaming too, but for a different reason. "NO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT! MY PRETTY, PRETTY HAIR!" he clawed frantically at his scalp, trying to get the coffee out of it. He seemed to be forgetting that there were pieces of the shattered porcelain mug sticking out of his head.

Botan stepped backward slowly, then turned and ran for the bedroom screaming, "HIEI, WE HAVE A PROBLEM! A BIG, GAY PROBLEM!"

Hiei stepped out of the room quickly, a startled look on his face. He ran into Botan, and they both fell on top of each other into a very inconvenient position. A camera flashed, and Karasu looked at them evilly from behind the lens. They jumped up and yelled in unison, "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!"

A dreamy, faraway look came across Karasu's face. "My undying love for my dear, dear Kurama brought me safely from the realms of the dead! It is a sign, can't you see! A sign that we were meant to be!"

Botan looked at him oddly. "But Karasu, Kurama hates you."

"How could you say such a thing?" gasped Karasu in a horrified manner.

Hiei unexpectedly ran into the kitchen. He came out with a cup of coffee and splashed it on Karasu's face. Botan, following suit, ran into the bedroom and re-emerged with a spray bottle of mace. She ran up to Karasu, pulled back his mask without actually taking it off, and sprayed.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! YOU VILE, VILE WOMAN!" Karasu screeched, rubbing his eyes and wheezing.

"Hey, watch what you say about the vile, vile woman!" Hiei growled protectively. Karasu then stopped gasping for breath and pulled a tape recorder out from behind his back and laughed triumphantly.

"What the?" said Botan and Hiei in unison. Hiei lunged for the tape recorder, and Karasu made a bomb appear and sent it for his head. Hiei poked it, trying to make it go toward the recorder.

BOOM.

"Hiei!" Botan gasped fearfully. Luckily, the fire demon was unharmed, except for a few burns. The tape recorder, however, was no more. Little ribbons of tape fluttered down around them all.

"You bastard!" Hiei growled. He ran over to the still unconscious Junimara and shook her by the collar, shouting: "Blink, girl, blink! Kill him! Kill him!" He pointed at Karasu. Junimara's eyes blinked open and fluttered rapidly.

Across the street, a woman's voice shouted: "No, Homer! Why did you have to die?" Glass shattered in the background. The group of four stared blankly at the house from which the noises had come from.

"Well then…on to business." said Karasu in an eerily calm and business-like manner. "I have a bit of a proposal for you two."

"What about me?" asked Junimara in a slightly hurt tone.

"You're not important girl. Get lost." Karasu sniffed indignantly at the girl. He then looked back to Hiei and Botan with his business-face on. "Anyway, you are going to tell me everything you know about my dear, dear Kurama."

"And why are we going to do that?" questioned Botan, raising an eyebrow.

"Because if you don't…I'LL SHOW EVERYONE THESE POLAROIDS!" Karasu pulled out a box from his cloak, then opened it and threw it's contents into the air. Inside it were dozens of pictures of Hiei and Botan in rather unfortunate, and intentional, positions. And let's just say they weren't always fully-clothed.

Junimara gasped and covered her eyes. "It's like that bad porn movie that those horny boys snuck into the orphanage!" she screamed over Karasu's evil laughter.

"Where did you get those?" Botan and Hiei shrieked in unison. Karasu shrugged and said:

"You should really consider some curtains."

Botan rolled her eyes and Hiei considered their options. "Let's see…" he said. "It seems we have two choices, Kurama or us…I, FOR ONE, CHOOSE US!"

By the time Hiei had made this revelation, Botan was already listing off every single thing she knew about Kurama. "He loves his mother very much, he uses rose-scented shampoo and cologne-"

"Man, that's hot," Karasu interjected.

"-he likes to have tea in gardens, he prefers boxers over briefs-"

"How do you know that?" Hiei demanded. Karasu merely stood there, drooling like a possessed monkey.

"-he had a secret love of Chia-Pets, and his NUMBER ONE SECRET IS…!" Botan intentionally trailed off.

"What? What?" asked Karasu.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?" Hiei shouted.

"I know it because I secretly smuggle all you guys' files from Reikai into my house, and read them at night," Botan said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Then what is my most embarrassing secret?" Hiei demanded.

"No! Tell me Kurama's secrets!" Karasu ordered. No one seemed to hear him.

"Your most embarrassing secret is…" Botan began, but right then, when she was about to reveal some sort of hilarious secret, THE SUBSTITUTE AUTHORESSES ENDED THE CHAPTER!