Disclaimer: Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko
Nothing Without The Other
Chapter 8
She was a clever little wench, Sesshoumaru realized as he glanced at Rin. She was riding Ah Un, consumed by her own thoughts and obviously determined to reach her destination. He scowled inwardly, well aware of her antics. This Sesshoumaru was no fool. He knew the girl was trying to get away from him under the guise of visiting her precious caretakers. Why did she refuse to tell him the truth?
Sesshoumaru had always prided himself on being honest. As often was the case, his honesty replaced his emotions. Why waste precious energy showing his distaste for Inuyasha when he could clearly reveal as much with words? Though he would admit that his worthless half brother often provoked him into violence and he was forced to use his sword in place of his words.
He was honest about how he regarded humans and youkai beneath them. He found them to be weak, cowardly creatures and filthy, dishonest beasts. They smelled or engaged in activities that smelled. Most had no respect for those clearly above their status. They were no better than fleas. Such thoughts were perhaps why many believed he hated humans, but they misinterpreted him. He simply disliked them a great deal.
Had Rin learned nothing of honesty from him? Instead of simply telling him why his actions made her uncomfortable, she chose to be vague in attempt to make him fill in the gaps. He would not be made to do anything. So he would play her game and be just as vague as she was. She would tire out eventually and directly question the reason for his behavior.
But, he wondered vaguely, did he have the answers? This strange relationship between he and Rin was undeniably confusing. Part of him revolted at the very idea of pursing anything other than friendship with the human woman. And even friendship seemed to irritate this side of him. He had no interest in mating to a woman who would be in constant need of protection and affection. Though it seemed, Rin needed none of those things.
She was no ordinary human, if she could be considered human at all. She had no desire to be among her own kind with the exception of that rotten boy, Inuyasha's mate and friends. It seemed to him she was far more comfortable with people who had some sort of experience with living in harmony among youkai. Again, with the exception of that rotten boy.
Then one must take into consideration the fact that she was just as much a hanyou as Inuyasha himself. Most hanyous were treated by both races as a disgrace and in turn, fell under the category Sesshoumaru placed humans and weaker youkai. But again Rin met neither of the qualifications to be placed among them. Hence, his dilemma.
He could not consider her human or hanyou or youkai. In comparison to him, she was weak, she was beneath him, but for one reason or another, none of that seemed to matter. She had only to smile or annoy him and all he saw was Rin. Her status and blood, nothing else but her presence seemed to matter. He wanted her to be by his side for as long as time would allow.
Sesshoumaru eyed her suspiciously, wondering why the proposition sounded vaguely like taking a life mate.
He would admit that he found pleasure kissing her, if only because he enjoyed unnerving her. But it was a dangerous game to play as he quickly found the more he did it, the less he wanted to stop. And while he relished in the idea of rutting with her, it would be done to sedate his sexual frustrations and nothing more. Even that could become as dangerous as kissing.
Sesshoumaru found himself at a loss. Rin would stay with him, but at a great risk, for he doubted he could keep his hands to himself that long. Rarely did he find a demoness who he was drawn to so intensely as he was to Rin. When he did decide to take her, and eventually he would, it may change things irreversibly. Their relationship would never be the same.
"SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!"
He focused quickly, his hand immediately going to Toukijin's hilt, and looked for any eminent danger. When he found nothing, he glanced over at Rin and found her laughing at him.
"I've been trying to get your attention for some time now," she managed in between breaths. "What on earth were you thinking about?"
"You," he said simply, pleased when her laughing stopped immediately.
Rin looked away from him quickly. "I'm going to stop for the day. Ah Un and I need a break and some food."
He looked over at the horizon. "The sun will not be setting for some time. We can still get some distance in."
"I have not had a meal since sunrise, we're stopping."
She tugged on Ah Un's reins and dove from the sky, leaving Sesshoumaru to follow after them. She jumped down from the beast and walked beside him as he searched for a healthy piece of grass to graze upon. She was looking to the trees and bushes, hoping to find some type of fruit or berry, when Sesshoumaru joined her.
"Try not to let your anger show, it's too nice of a day," she teased him easily.
"You're wasting time," he told her.
"Nonsense," she went to catch up with Ah Un. "We will arrive at Ichigo's home no later than tomorrow afternoon."
He fell into silence.
"Was your father picky with his time as well?" She asked.
Sesshoumaru crossed his arms, tucking his hands in his sleeves. "There was no need. No one would dare waste his time, especially when a letter or servant would have sufficed."
"I find it hard to believe that he was so impersonal," she said, trying to soothe his temper with a smile.
Again, he chose to say nothing.
"I could be wrong. I will not presume to know of your fathers ways." She pulled Ah Un to the river she found and watched him drink eagerly.
"Chihi-ue changed a great deal after Haha-ue's death."
Rin looked up at him, wondering how much her death changed him. "Death always changes people, especially if we lose someone we deeply care for."
"Hnn," he said in agreement. "He was quite fearsome after the war. No one dared rise up against him after that. While he was never very open with his emotions, he became somewhat colder. It did not last long, however."
She thought she knew why, but dared not voice it. She knew the consequences of speaking of Inuyasha, his mother, and their father all at once. Jaken was the only fool who failed to learn.
"When he became involved with Izayoi, Inuyasha's mother, he turned much to soft. One enemy took advantage of that."
Again, Rin chose to say nothing. Assuming anything may anger him and refuse to say anything more. Then how would she learn of how he had become an orphan like herself?
"To this day, this Sesshoumaru is still unsure what incited the battle between Chichi-ue and Ryuukossei. But neither of them survived long enough to give the answer. Ryuukossei was sealed into an eternal sleep by Chichi-ue's fang. Chichi-ue was too injured to finish him off."
Memories of bloodshed flooded Rin's mind and suddenly, she felt light headed. She placed a hand over her heart as if to steady its rapid beating. Did she really want to hear the rest?
"But Izayoi, worthless and weak as ever, was in danger and Chichi-ue did not hesitate to protect his pregnant wife. She escaped with her wretched, dirty blooded child while my father fought until his death against some insignificant human."
"Sesshoumaru-sama," she hesitated for a moment, fearful of the growing anger she heard in his voice. "Your father was truly great."
"No," he rounded on her, his eyes bright with anger. "A great daiyoukai does not die for a simpering human woman and her bastard hanyou! Such weak creatures gave him a pathetic death. He should have stayed and fought Ryuukossei to the death. That would have proven his greatness."
She stared at him in surprise and took a few steps back. "Any great man such as your father would find honor in dying for his family. How can you be so angry for that?"
"There is no honor in dying for a weak half breed who would later find himself was pinned to a tree by a human woman, thus proving how worthless his life was. There is no honor in dying for a fool unworthy of Chichi-ue's blood and Tetsusaiga. Inuyasha and his mother should have died in my father's place!"
Rin stared at him in disbelief. "Sesshoumaru-sama..you can't-"
He closed the distance between them and looked down at her fiercely. "Do not give this Sesshoumaru orders. Humans and hanyous are weak creatures, unworthy of anything a powerful youkai would bestow upon them. No youkai should ever die in their place."
She looked away from him and shut her eyes, fearing he would strike her at any moment. How could he be so cruel? she wondered. Sesshoumaru had everything! Memories of his mother and father, his father's home, his father's title, his glory. All Inuyasha had was a sword and still Sesshoumaru believed he did not deserve that.
Sesshoumaru fought to control his anger as he stared at her. She looked so cowardly and withdrawn that it unnerved him. Never had he been the cause of Rin's fear. He wondered if he had been too harsh.
"Rin," he reached forward to turn her towards him.
"Don't!" She slapped his hand away. "How can you be so cruel to your own flesh and blood? Inuyasha has nothing to remember his father by! Why do you find pleasure in torturing him by constantly reminding him of that?"
"He deserves nothing," he said simply.
She backed away from him again, tears threatening to spill down her face. "You are the one who deserves nothing, Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha would gladly trade Tetsusaiga for the moments you spent with your mother and father, but because he is half human, you believe he does not deserve anything but death. Is that what you wish for me?"
"Do not put words in my mouth Rin."
"There is no difference between Inuyasha and I! I am a hanyou, I am weak, my father died protecting me. But do you know what he left me with? Do you? Ask me!" She demanded, ignoring the downpour of tears.
Sesshoumaru hesitated for a long moment. "What did he leave you with?"
"My mothers screams, my brothers cries, his plea for me to hide! I can't remember their faces, but I remember their deaths quite clearly. Should I have died with them? Would that have been more deserving for someone as unworthy of me?"
He stepped forward, some strange instinct telling him to try to comfort her. "I would never wish harm upon you Rin."
"Do not come near me, liar! How can you say those things about Inuyasha and not realize they apply to me as well?" She shook her head sadly. "For a time, you really made me believe you could care, but you've shown me you're just as heartless as ever."
"Rin," he called to her when she turned and retreated to the forest. When she ignored him, he thought it best to allow her some time to be alone. A force gripped his heart as she walked away and he damned the organ and his foolishness for causing him so much pain.
Sorry I couldn't update last week. Very, very busy weekend. I don't even know how much sleep I got, but I do know it wasn't enough! I'm going to make up for it though, trust me! I hope you like this chapter. I'm trying to unfold Sesshoumaru's character much more in order to further develop his relationship w/Rin, even though she is kind of slacking in that area as well. But don't worry! Things will get better.
Thanks for all the great reviews and comments on my other stories. I really appreciate it. I'm also glad everyone is pleased with the characterizations and the flow of the story in general. Must hone my technique now if I wish to be an accomplished writer!
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