Disclaimer: Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko
Nothing Without The Other
Chapter 12
"I'm not leaving until we discuss what happened last night," Rin told him with a look as piercing as the sun the moment one wakes.
Sesshoumaru simply ignored her and continued to saddle Ah Un as if the woman was not there.
Fighting for patience, she crossed her arms over her chest and decided to take a different route. "Well, isn't this new. The great Lord Sesshoumaru, pouting because he couldn't have his way with a woman."
He appeared in front of her in an instant. Her heart leaped as he stalked forward with a look so dangerous, so threatening, that she could not help but retreat. Within moments she found her back pressed against the mountain wall and trapped between Sesshoumaru's arms. He pressed himself so close to her that their armor scrapped together with a most wretched noise she ever heard. For many moments, as if to torture her purposely with his silence, he calmly stared at her.
Sesshoumaru dipped his head low and his lips nearly brushed against hers. He let his eyes slowly slip down to capture them in his gaze. He watched in fascination as they trembled and imagined feasting upon their delicate curves. Suddenly he wondered if that cheetah creature had taken liberty to doing just that. He met her eyes again, keeping his face as emotionless as ever.
"Such soft, pliant lips," he said finally. "But they betray you to your instincts. I don't have to touch you, though there are quite a few places this Sesshoumaru believes to have a burning itch and an equal desire to be scratched."
He let his eyes fall to her lips once more before slowly closed the small space between them and brushed his lips against hers.
"I have only to kiss them to make you more than willing to let me have my way with you. Do well to remember that Rin."
When he turned, she reached out to grab his arm. "Why do you keep doing this? I never asked for any of this!"
He snatched his arm away, ignoring the sting of pain that came with her words. "This Sesshoumaru does as he pleases."
Rin's eyes widened in surprise. Deeply offended, she moved forward and stepped in front of him. "It pleases you to use me as some sort of sexual toy for your unsatisfied desires?"
"Once again, you are putting words in this Sesshoumaru's mouth. You're wasting time," he said as he reached forward to grab her arm.
She flinched away, as if frightened by his touch. "Don't touch me. You never so much as laid a finger on me as a child. You wouldn't even point a finger at me! Now you put your hands on me whatever chance you get! Dragging me this way and that, stopping me from leaving, all so you can touch me. What kind of hentai are you?"
"Where do you come up with this nonsense? Is it from that fowl cheetah youkai? No, that could not possibly be it, his scent was all over you last night. You don't seem to mind him touching you."
Rin scrunched her face up in confusion. "Eiji has nothing to do with this! The way you keep bringing him up I'd swear you were jealous!" The idea made her laugh.
Sesshoumaru turned and swallowed the sour taste of disgust, and maybe just a little jealously. "If you're quite finished, Rin, we should be leaving. We've already wasted plenty of time."
"No, not until we've discussed what happened last night, what has been happening lately. Why have you acted in such a way?"
He turned back to her, met her eyes seriously this time. "Two days ago, I had an answer for that, but now, this Sesshoumaru is not sure why."
Rin crossed her arms again. "Oh come now, do not be cruel. I'm sure your answer is simple."
"If it is so simple, why don't you have the answer?" When her faced softened and she said nothing, he continued. "But it is alright that neither of us understands. You have made it quite clear that you don't want this unnatural relationship. Now if we could leave, we can still make some distance before nightfall."
If Sesshoumaru thought his response would satisfy her, he could not be more wrong. Instead of sleeping, Rin spent the night tossing and turning, determined to straighten this entire mess out. If she wanted to understand her feelings, there were two things she needed to do.
The first, the one she desired to do most of all, was talk with someone who could relate to her own strange feelings. Saori or her servants were somehow inappropriate for the matter. The only person she could think of was Kagome, the woman who had to have been in this similar situation with Inuyasha. Though the brothers would deny it, Rin was absolutely sure they had some mannerisms in common. She could only wait rather impatiently before they reached Kagome's village. How many days, she wasn't sure, and this led her to her second task.
She needed to start from the beginning, to start where things began to change the most: her near death experience. The last she remembered of her sick days was hearing Kagome and Inuyasha discuss her decreasing health and resolving to send for Sesshoumaru. She decided rather quickly that she would rather die than let Sesshoumaru see her in her last moments. Though she wasn't sure if the sight of her would disgust him or if he would be saddened by the potential loss, she had no desire to part this world with either image on her mind.
The glistening of the beautiful white snow reminded her of Sesshoumaru. That was her last thought before she fell into unconsciousness.
But something about what occurred later made no sense. If Sesshoumaru had returned to the Western Lands immediately upon their last day together, why had he arrived so quickly? Though Sesshoumaru was swift, Rin could not believe that he would arrive in such a hurry. Not to mention that Inuyasha lacked his brother's speed and, from what Jaken had revealed, knew nothing of the whereabouts of Sesshoumaru's estate.
Sesshoumaru, therefore, could not have been at his estate when Inuyasha had found him and he must have been close by, but still far enough. It had taken her several attempts to gather enough energy to lift herself from the futon, write the small note, place the extra futon in her place, and climb out the window. If Kagome had not been so preoccupied with her two boys, she would have surely found her lying on the floor of her own bedroom! It also seemed like she had spent hours, even days, walking until she finally collapsed. Wherever Inuyasha had encountered his brother, it was a great enough distance to allow her to make her escape.
Why had he come so quickly, why had he given so much of his own power in order to save her? Could he...could he possibly desire to take her as his wife as Saori suggested? It would explain the strange looks he had given her since the moment she awoke at his estate. It would explain his surprising intimate and passionate actions toward her. It would explain why he put up with her behavior. It would...it would explain everything but her own feelings.
There was a part of her that desperately wanted to give in to what he offered, but she was also very terrified by the idea, especially upon learning the purpose of such actions. When he kissed her, her mind spun in circles at such a dizzying pace she felt as though she would faint at any moment. Her heart beat faster than she could ever run and that made it almost impossible for her to breathe. She felt this strange motion in her stomach whenever he gave her one of those looks. Her body heated as if she was bathing in the hot sun whenever he came too close.
Surely such feelings were not the type of pleasures Saori suggested.
No, these feelings were the type to confuse and to cause her to shy away from any and all future advances. Unless, of course, she was supposed to feel that way. But it seemed so silly to think that such intimate acts could cause a person to act and feel so weak. So this led her right back to her first idea. If Kagome could not help her understand her feelings, Rin was afraid she was doomed.
She sighed as the sun began to brighten the skies, wondering where the night had gone.
Sesshoumaru had been equally tortured the entire night, though he needed little sleep. His mind continued to circle the vicious idea that Rin some how found him unworthy of her affections. As if he was unfit to touch and give her pleasure. As if the idea of her loving him in return was as laughable as the idea of him being jealous.
He cursed his wretched heart for betraying him to such emotions.
After all, he should be the one appalled by Rin. He should find their relationship unnatural. A great youkai lord such as himself should not waste a breath pursuing a creature so far beneath him. She was human, she was weak, she was...Rin. How was it that he was able to ignore everything that should disgust him and she could not?
She was poison. That was the only way to explain it.
Youkai were not prone to sickness or disease, but some how his constant interaction with Rin had developed into some fowl infestation in his heart. Chichi-ue was a proven victim of such interactions with humans. He had grown much to soft and protective over such a weak and insignificant woman. Chichi-ue had invested entirely too much of his attention on Inuyasha's mother and paid the price. If he continued to follow in his father's footsteps, Rin could very well be the death of him.
He had been foolish enough to let Tadaki lead him to believe that those feelings...that sickness he was feeling was really love. As if he was capable of feeling love. Lust, perhaps, but never love. Love was a complete waste of emotion and time. Much worse it impeded sensible behavior. Sesshoumaru refused to be destroyed by such a silly ideology.
It was his bruised ego, not love, which caused him to act so irrationally. He was not the type to yell or force his advances upon a woman, but he had done so as a knee jerk reaction. He was not used to rejection and it was clear that he had not handled it very well. If Rin wanted to be with an untrustworthy creature then she could do what she pleased. He would no longer embarrass himself by trying to make her see the error in her ways.
Rin had nothing to offer him that would not be a simple matter to find in a demoness so much more worthy of his attention. He was very sure that there were plenty of demonesses willing to satisfy his desire should he require it. There was no need then to waste anymore of his time on Rin. He did not need anything from her. Not her attention, her affections, her approval, nor her heart.
Some how, he felt very empty inside.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin interrupted his thoughts as she climbed atop Ah Un. "How many days will it take to reach Kagome's village?"
"Three, maybe four since we must stop at the end of the day."
She frowned, her mind returning to the thoughts that had kept her from sleeping. "How long would it take if we did not stop?"
"A day and a half at the most," he glanced at her and noted how tired she looked. "Why?"
"It took you less than a day to arrive at Kagome's village when I was sick."
Sesshoumaru said nothing as he built a cloud of youki and floated into the sky. They traveled some distance as the tension mounted before Rin spoke.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," she said firmly, hinting that she wanted to know why it had taken him such a short time.
"I was returning to the Western Lands after a small visit with another lord," he lied, and felt a little low for doing so. "Inuyasha caught me in route."
Rin nodded, not quite believing him. His story would be confirmed once they reached Kagome's village anyway. Many things, she hoped, would be confirmed. She only hoped they would improve this strange relationship between she and Sesshoumaru.
Thanks for the reviews everyone. I won't make any extended comments about any reviews because I feel like crap. I caught a cold toward the end of my spring break and I just want to roll over and die. Anyway, hope you like this chapter. Thanks everyone.
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