Disclaimer: Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

Nothing Without The Other

Chapter 22

They reached the Western Lands in two days. Under all the emotional and mental stress, Rin had spent most of her time sleeping, whether it was day or night. Though they had stopped occasionally so that she could eat, they covered much more ground by forfeiting nightly stops. But quiet nights had not been the only thing sacrificed to their new mode of travel.

Conversation had been kept to the barest minimal, and they generally kept to themselves. Rin slept or pretended to be sleep, and Sesshoumaru kept his eyes trained ahead of him as he led the way back to the Western Lands. And as they touched down from the sky at the gates, neither was sure how to act and quickly decided to go their separate ways.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! You've finally returned. Your humble servant Jaken has kept everything in order as you asked mi'Lord," he said, bowing low to his master.

Sesshoumaru merely brushed past the toad youkai, more than willing to address business instead of Rin. "Have any confirmations regarding the meeting arrived from other Lords?"

"Hai, mi'Lord, they have," Jaken added, quickly following after him. "Fumiko and Yumiko have already begun making small arrangements, but have waited for Rin before making any final decisions."

He had nearly forgotten that he had designated her as the hostess. "Have one of them instruct her on her duties right away. I want everything in order before my guest begin to arrive. I will be in my study for the remainder of the evening."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Sesshoumaru quickly locked himself in the study, taking in the many scrolls that needed addressing. The toad had been smart enough to arrange them in some sort of organized fashion. He sat behind the small table, trying to decide what to address first. Figuring it did not matter, he picked one nearest his hand and quickly read over it.

At least he tried to.

He did not know if it was his imagination, or some horrible joke someone decided to play, but every line and every point seemed to have Rin's name inserted into it. It was such a distraction that he lost focus even before he had a chance to seize it completely. He found all to quickly that his mind would not concentrate on anything but her.

In the silence of his study, Sesshoumaru felt plagued by emotions not only from Rin's most recent brush with death, but also the near death that was responsible for making her what she was today. They ate at him, played on all corners of his mind, tormented his soul. Images of her lying beside the water and lying in the snow twisted and blended together, renewing the fear and helplessness that already consumed him.

What had she been thinking? Why had she run from him again?

He remembered how the blood had rushed from his head, how constrained his heart had felt, the pain that threatened to make his knees buckle. Seeing her so close to death again had brought those feelings to him all over again, this time newer and stronger. Anger had consumed him at first because he actually had something physical to lash out at, but it was only short lived.

What if he failed to save her if she ran away again?

Sesshoumaru shoved the table away, causing it to tip over and scatter its contents on to the flood. He did not like being placed in such a situation. These feelings for Rin left him feeling weaker even without the added worry of her so called weaknesses. Why did she not see how affected he was, how terrified he was by the thought of losing her? And to lose her because of his own failures to protect her...it would be impossible to live with himself if that ever happened.

Perhaps she was right. He could save himself a world of worry and pain by putting an end to their relationship. She could go back to living the way she had been before he came back into her life. His enemies would be of no threat to her and would have nothing to threaten him with. There would be absolutely no complications if they both walked away and led separate, lonely and unfulfilling lives.

He truly was a coward.

Life without Rin was truly meaningless because she completed him. He had not known real fear, or half the emotions he felt now, until he met her. She brought them to him, making him whole. But that did not change the way he felt. He could not live in constant fear that she would run away again, leaving him unable to save her. He would not live in such a way. They would have to work this situation out, as the miko had suggested. They would both have to deal with their fears.

Sesshoumaru rose to his feet and glided toward the door, sliding it open quickly. Night had fallen during the war his heart and mind had raged. The moon stood over his head, beaming down at him and lighting a path to Rin's room. Determined to solve this right away, he marched across the veranda and opened her door, not bothering to seek permission.

Silence was his greeting. He shook his head, feeling foolish when his eyes rested upon her sleeping form. She was curled up on the futon, wrapped comfortably in the bright yellow blanket, lost, no doubt, in a peaceful dream. He let himself out quietly, realizing he could not wake her even if he wanted to. Though he and Rin's communication had grown quite a bit since he brought her here, he realized, as courage failed him, that verbally expressing his feelings was something entirely foreign to him, unless he spoke out of anger.

And, if he remembered correctly, Rin was not particularly anxious to address the matter herself. The shame he had seen in her eyes all those nights ago had probably only worsened. It would take some effort to get either one of them to open up, he realized with a small sigh. But, he thought to himself as he slid his doors closed, he may have found a way to fix everything.

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Rin laid on her back, toying with the ends of her hair as she stared up at the ceiling and trying to decide what to do with herself. The two days they spent traveling had allowed her to indulge in absolute laziness and she had enjoyed it immensely. She did not have to talk to or about Sesshoumaru, she did not have to consider their situation. She simply slept and dreamt the day away.

But having returned to the Western Lands would change that indefinitely. There was no doubt in her mind that she would be thrown into many encounters with Sesshoumaru over the next three weeks. Fumiko had already explained the duties she would have as hostess, had even put her to work. She managed to avoid speaking to Sesshoumaru about something out of sheer luck. Today, however, she did not feel so lucky.

So she had sat there since dawn, unwilling to get up and begin her day. She did not want to see him, did not want to feel the shame that washed over her when ever she was in his presence. Helping Eiji had been the dumbest thing she had ever done and she nearly paid for it with her life. Now, she realized grimly, it may have cost her her relationship with Sesshoumaru.

She could not be with him, she admitted on a chocked sob. Despite his casual mention of it, she would be the death of him if things remained as they were. She could not protect herself adequately, leaving him as her only line of defense. It would only be a matter of time before some stronger enemy was able to best him and it would be all her fault. She would lose him, just like she lost her family...

Rin pushed the blanket away, refusing to spend another moment in tears. She would simply have to explain her reasons to him, she would have to make him understand. Kagome would call her a coward, but she could not risk Sesshoumaru getting hurt because of her. She had to convince him not to take her as a mate before they both got caught up in the moment and finalized the relationship. Kagome had told her about the mark Inuyasha had left on her, symbolizing that they were permanent mates. Sesshoumaru had not marked her and as long as she avoided him as much as possible, or rejected his advances, she could prevent it.

She rose to her feet and slowly opened the door, not wanting to alert anyone that she was awake just yet. When she saw Kimiko coming from the bath house, she quickly shut the door and climbed back on the futon, pretending to be sleep. Waiting several moments, she got up again and gathered a kimono before making a quick dash to the bath house, assuming Kimiko had prepared it in advance for her. Knowing Sesshoumaru would be awake by now, she passed by his room instead of his study. Though she was sure he could smell, she would not give him the opportunity to call her in order to speak to her.

Feeling as though her little plot had worked, she let herself into the bath house.

She stumbled to a stop, eyes wide in surprise and shock as they stared at Sesshoumaru. Her mind ordered her to turn away, but her gaze wandered over his naked form. His muscles were finely toned, his chest smooth and glistening with water. There were a pair magenta stripes on either side of his hips, and they seemed to point - Her cheeks burned red as she cast her eyes to the floor. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest in nothing other than excitement.

He has stripes on his ankles, she told herself as she struggled to find the strength to walk away and forget what she had seen. Her feet, however, seemed to be molded to the ground. She resisted the urge to look up again, hardly believing that his...that the...she had never seen one before, and she realized, much to her surprise and embarrassment, that she did not want to stop looking.

Sesshoumaru wrapped a towel around his waist as he felt himself harden. The scent of Rin's arousal quickly filled the small room and drifted around him, coating his skin and invading his nostrils. Her meek curiosity and embarrassment were positively sexy. She wanted to flee, he could see it in her rigid composure, but she remained there as if inviting him to give them both what they wanted.

He walked to her slowly, watched her breath hitch as he closed the space between them. Still she did not move, even as he leaned down toward the side of face. She kept her eyes focused ahead of her, body trembling slightly as he breathed against her ear. Secretly he reveled in her reaction, pleased that she still wanted him, but reluctantly, he resisted - He decided to leave it at that, not daring to let his mind voice the millions of things he wanted to do to her at that moment. He simply resisted.

"I have left something for you to wear. When you're finished, meet me in the fields."

He left before Rin could say anything. The moment the door slid closed, her legs gave out on her and she slipped weakly to the floor. Rejecting Sesshoumaru, even attempting to resist him, Rin realized as she fanned herself, would be much more difficult than she expected.

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Perhaps, Rin realized as she quickly forced herself to her feet, it would not be so difficult after all.

She fixed Sesshoumaru with a fierce look as their swords crossed once more. When she had seen the thin hakama and short michiyuki, she should have known what she was getting herself into. Instead, she had dressed herself in the pale white garments and thought nothing of it. But when she found Sesshoumaru waiting for her, sword in hand, she knew exactly what was about to happen.

And it had been happening for the past week.

Rin was not sure if Sesshoumaru was punishing her, trying to make or angry, or seriously trying to kill her. But the dawn training sessions could be described as anything but. He seemed to refuse to hold himself back. She had received many cuts from his sword, and had been pushed or shoved the ground, receiving all manner of scrapes. He had fought with her as though she were nothing more than his enemy.

When he pushed her back this time, with more force than she thought was necessary, she was prepared for it. She stumbled back a few steps but quickly regained her footing and deflected his blade before it could strike her arm. Their clashing began anew as they both fought to conquer the other.

Rin swung the blade at his head, stepping back quickly when he ducked and swiped at her. She stepped on the end of the blade and used her other foot to kick him in the face. Shock and anger registered on his face for the briefest of moments, and she quickly took advantage of it. When she thrust her sword forward again, he quickly pulled his blade from under her foot, tripping her in the process.

She fell to her back in a painful thud. She saw him hovering over her, prepared to make that final blow, when she stretched her hands out, sending a blast of youki to explode between them. Quickly rolling backward, she got to her knees and pulled her bow from over her shoulder. Notching it with an arrow, she let it fly just as Sesshoumaru stepped from the smoke. He lifted his singed sleeve and slapped the arrow away as he inclosed the space between them. Relentlessly, she fired more arrows at him, some two at a time, and was pleased when one pierced his shoulder.

Sesshoumaru ignored the arrow and swung his sword, cutting the bow in half. He saw the fire rise in her eyes and so was prepared when she shot a stream of youki at him from her fingertips. Dodging it, he reached forward, grabbing her hand, and threw her to the ground. Stepping over her, he brought the tip of his blade just inches to her throat.

"Stand down," he demanded. "Admit your defeat."

"Iie," Rin answered him with a low growl.

He pulled the arrow from his shoulder and tossed it aside. "Stand down."

She lifted her arm and released the hidden blade attached to it. Turning her head to the side, she pushed his sword away and quickly spread her legs to trip him. Caught off guard, he feel to the ground and rolled over, scrambling to be the first to retrieve the fallen sword. Rin, however, beat him to it, and the moment it was in her hands, she swung down, trying to sever his head. He rolled away quickly, and picked up the sword she had abandoned for her bow and arrow. He met her just in time to have their weapons locked against each other once more.

"Your youki has other purposes, you shouldn't waste it with your silly explosions," he informed with a tone she found condescending.

"Damare!" She shouted, pushing him back in a burst of strength that surprised him enough to send him stumbling backward.

Sesshoumaru regained his footing and pushed Rin back. She dropped her sword, and ducked down to catch it with her other hand. She used the blade attached to her arm to block his sword as he brought it down over her head. He stepped back, but not before she slashed his leg with her sword. Growling, he gripped her hand, ignoring her cry of pain as the hilt of his sword pressed against her wrist. He yanked her to her feet and ripped the sword from her other hand.

She struck out at him, pounding his chest with her little fist and trying to break free from his hold. He lifted her arm over her head until the sleeve of her michiyuki began to fall and used his free hand to remove the hidden blade from her arm. Satisfied that she was unarmed, he pulled her against him, pressing her back into his chest, and brought his sword to her throat again.

"Stand down," he demanded again.

Rin stood perfectly still, her spine straight and head held high. "Iie."

"This Sesshoumaru does not like to hear that word."

"This Rin does not care."

He released her and turned to walk away. "Tomorrow then."

"Iie!"

Sesshoumaru continued walking, knowing she would comply unless she wanted him to drag her out of bed as he had done two days ago. He rotated his shoulder, as if trying to speed up the healing process and gave a small grunt of pain. His senses came alert and he turned quickly, only to be tackled to the ground by Rin. He could hear her screaming at him, voicing all manner of obscenities to express her distaste for him. They rolled a few times, both fighting to be on top, before finally coming to a stop when Sesshoumaru pinned her to the ground.

Her hand shot out, gripping his throat tightly. "You bastard!"

"Hai," he said, crushing her body with his.

"I hate you!" She said, digging her nails into his flesh in order to keep him from closing the space between them.

He snarled in response and ripped her hand away from his throat. "Liar. I will prove you wrong, I will make you surrender."

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Bonnie Black:Thank you for the compliment, I'm really trying!

SweetyPieRin: Wow, now I am apprehensive about putting my stories up over there! Stealing other people's work is just stupid, especially when there seems to be so little interaction between the reader and writer. I don't know. Maybe I'll hide my chapters and reconsider putting this story on MM. I only wanted to do it because I was worried about this story being taken down. But since it hasn't yet, I might just keep it only on ff.

ladyrinremix: Heheh, I'm glad you enjoy rereading the story. I do that sometimes, but I just get a sense of "did I really write this?", sometimes I don't even believe in my own skills and just get surprised when I think I did something good! I'm really glad you are enjoying my stories. You are my inspiration!

Angels Heart 1622: Those too definitely have problems expressing their emotions, and that only makes things worse. Things will get better though!

Yami Yasha 4ever: Hmm, I guess you can say Kagome kicked them out, but they had already planned to leave that morning so when Sesshoumaru caught them talking, he was probably coming to fetch Rin anyway. I'd look at it as Kagome's way of giving them privacy, or trying to get them back to the place where all the romance and stuff began.

bluediamond-hime: Thank you so very much, I really appreciate that and I'm glad you find the characters so life-like.

Shampoo-chan: Thanks for reviewing the other chapters and sorry for the disappointment. Hehe, but trust me, Eiji will get his.

eirivan: I agree that good Sess/Rin fics are hard to find! I almost want to give up reading fics because of it. A few stories I have been reading are REALLY good, but incomplete! Its very sad. I'm glad you are enjoying this one though!

Verona: I'm sorry for your confusion! I'll try to do that less >. So..this is a good and bad weekend. Good because I have no more classes! Just finals next week, but that means studying. But bad because as of yet, I don't feel like writing another chapter, which is REALLY odd for me. I guess because I am stressing over finals and having to pack up my apartment. But have no fear, I plan to go get some boxes today and do lots of packing. Maybe after I feel like I've packed enough, I won't be all worried about it and spend all night writing! This story HAS to be finished by the June 24. That is my goal, my objective, my deadline! Wish me luck!

I love you all and thanks so much for everything!

Rabid Anime Gurl