Disclaimer: Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko
Nothing Without The Other
Chapter 23
Sesshoumaru crushed his mouth against hers, piercing her lips with his fangs as his tongue sought entrance into her mouth. Her hands gripped his shoulders, her claws tore holes in his sleeves, but she opened up to him and wrapped one of her legs around his. He dipped his tongue into her mouth, exploring it as if for the first time. His hand slipped down to caress her thigh before cupping her small bottom. But in a surprisingly fast movement, Rin pushed him up, using her leg to force him on to his side as she sat up. She pushed his back into the ground and climbed on top of him. He stared at her, waiting for her to attack, but nothing came. Instead, she leaned forward and captured his lips, sliding her body down his.
He growled in response and tugged the tie from her hair, pulling the braid free. Tangling his fingers in her hair, he pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss as his tongue explored her mouth once more. Her hands slipped under his michiyuki and parted it. She dragged her claws across his chest, leaving his skin burning and aching for her soft caresses. Then she broke the kiss abruptly, abandoning his lips to nibble on his neck.
Allowing her to drive him insane for the time being, he pushed the coat over her shoulders and pulled it from her arms. Her hair draped over her back and his face, shadowing her plump breast from the light as if only his eyes and hands were fit to rest upon them. He moved his hands roughly up and down her chest, watching in fascination as her nipples hardened. Then, without warning, she dug her small fangs into his shoulder.
Shocked, he rolled over again, pinning her beneath him once more, and stared down at her in disbelief. "Why did you do that?"
"I hate you!" She shouted, reaffirming herself.
"Oh? Is that so?"
He leaned down and sucked her nipple into his mouth. When she shuddered and arched her body toward him, he flicked his tongue up toward her neck.
"And now?"
He did not wait for a response before he slide a hand beneath her hakama. His fingers danced lightly over her, slowly driving her to her peak. He nibbled across her shoulders, lapping at the tiny marks he made until they faded away.
"Say it, Rin."
Sliding his other hand down, he pulled her hakama over her hips. He sat up for a moment and tugged them from her legs in one quick movement. Then he grabbed the back of her thighs, yanking them up to wrap her legs around his waist. He pressed her back into the ground, his shaft grinding against her crotch.
"Say it, I want you to tell me you hate me."
Rin gave him a moan in response, sliding her fingers through his hair as he took her ear in his mouth. She wrapped her legs tighter around his waist as he rotated his hips, teasing the ache between her legs.
"Tell me!"
His demand came with a small groan as he moved his hips faster. He gripped her hips tightly as his body trembled. He buried his face into her neck, trying to regain his already slipping control. If he did not stop, he would take her, bed or no bed. He had to have her - now.
"Sesshoumaru," she said on a small gasp. "Iie, stop this - I can't do this!"
"Say my name again, just like that," he told her, grinding harder against her.
"Onegai, Sesshoumaru," she pleaded. "Onegai, yamero."
Her pleading voice burned his ears and filled him with anger. "Why? Because you hate me? Is that why you ran from me when you were sick? Is that why you ran away with Eiji? Tell me!"
"Iie!" She cried out, her voice filled with tears, and pushed him away. "Onegai, just stop!"
Sesshoumaru sat on his knees and grabbed her wrist, pulling her up roughly. "Say it! Tell me you hate me."
"I don't hate you! I..I love you!" She managed with a sob.
He released her wrists as if they were burning his fingers. She quickly grabbed her michiyuki and with tears sparkling in her eyes, she fled. He did not know how long he sat there, wondering if he heard right. After he while, he rose to his feet, cursing his foolish doubt of his own abilities. His chest was surprisingly light, as if Rin had fled with whatever force that had refused to lessen it's grip on his heart. Idly, he rubbed his chest, noting that his heart was beating quickly, but was still in its correct place. When he finally returned to his quarters, he excused Rin's servants and sent Jaken to retrieve his brother. Then, after taking in a few breaths to gather his courage, he let himself into Rin's room.
"Onegai, go away," she pleaded helplessly, her face hidden beneath the covers.
"I do not like it when you run from me Rin. It frightens me."
Rin wiped her eyes and pulled the covers from her face. "My Lord fears nothing."
"Damare," he said softly, walking over to her.
"Sesshoumaru-sa-"
"Stop," he ordered as he lowered himself to the ground. "My name is Sesshoumaru."
Rin's eyes widened, both because he was giving her permission to use his name without the title and because he was too entirely too close. "Sesshoumaru, onegai, just go away," she said, her voice hitching as new tears threatened to fall.
"Iie."
After a small effort of untangling the blanket from her limbs, Sesshoumaru settled himself next her and pulled her into his arms. He could feel her trembling against him, could smell the smallest fragment of her fear as he rubbed his hand against her back. But she remained in his arms and refused to give into the tears. After a short while, she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him desperately as she lay against his chest.
"Why?" She asked quietly. "Why can't you just go away?"
"To spite you," he said teasingly. "And..and because I...love you."
"Iie," Rin cried, pushing him away again. "You mustn't"
"Damaru," he ordered her, holding her tightly until the struggles stopped. "Go to sleep. We till talk about it later."
"Demo - "
"Sleep, Rin."
"Hai, Sesshoumaru."
Of course, she had not slept. How could she after Sesshoumaru had just proclaimed that he loved her? Instead, she kept her eyes closed and held him. Her ear was pressed against his heart, listening to the steady and slow rhythm as it pounded against his chest. She breathed in his muscular scent and smelt the faintest touch of her own scent on him. Being with him this way made her feel as though she was in a dream.
Rin resisted the urge to sigh, fighting against her own mind. She did not want to think of the reasons why they should not be lying there as if everything was right in the world. There were so many complications, so many issues, and maybe after they talked, she could make him understand. For the moment, however, she was content to enjoy perhaps her final moment of intimacy with Sesshoumaru.
Her stomach growled loudly, protesting that not all of her was content.
She felt Sesshoumaru's hands slide away and felt him slipping away from her as he threw the covers aside. She frowned, disappointed in herself for interrupting the dream, but he reached down and tugged on her lightly, trying to help her to her feet. Rin complied almost reluctantly, not sure what to expect, and let him lead her out the room, noting that he refused to let go of her hand. Then, after he left her in his study, he disappeared from her sight, leaving her utterly confused.
Sesshoumaru returned after a short while and sat behind the small table. "Your food will be brought to you shortly."
"Arigatou," she said, staring at him with a blank look on her face and trying to make something out of his strange behavior.
He watched her for a short moment before taking up one of the many scrolls that littered his table. It did not take long before he was wholly engrossed in business details. First and foremost was a report from his vassals representing the three human villages on his land. Then there was a a small, but potentially increasing, issue with a group of rogue youkai, which he would have to take care some time before his guest began arriving. It also seemed that the little ningen were considering petitioning to expand the area of their villages, but he could deal with that much later. After making small notes at the top of the pages, he moved on.
The next scroll made him stare so long that one might have thought the kanji was written for a completely different language. It was his confirmation from the Lord and Lady of the Northern Lands, which he had been expecting, but he was not prepared for large party they intended to bring. There were vassals, guards, servants, simple maids, farm hands, and other miscellaneous servants that he did not care to identify. Skipping over the purposes for each servant, and making at note that this would be something for Rin to handle, he tried to find why all these servants would be needed.
He reached the section designated to outline any and all changes Lord Shunsuke might wish to make to their current relationship in the court. It covered alliances, treaties, army coalitions, and other things of that matter. But aside from normal useless words of fluffery and nonsense, there were phrases here and there that hinted at other attempts to unite their lands. It was subtle, yet direct at the same time, and though it was not an official offer, Sesshoumaru knew exactly what such words meant: Lord Shunsuke wanted to give his daughter as to him.
He allowed himself a short moment to consider the long list of potential problems it could bring. In no way was he obligated to take the offer seriously, but he suspected that the Lord and Lady would be offended. They were, after all, bringing all the extra baggage in hopes of having an announcement celebration should he accept the arrangement. But they were taking a huge risk in more ways than one and he would not be able to figure out why until he was able to speak directly to them.
Deciding it was not worth stressing over, he placed the scroll at the bottom of already opened scrolls, resolving to come back to it another time. His mind, however, circled right back each time he tried to process what ever matter he needed to deal with next. He narrowed his brow in annoyance, trying not to think about how Lord Shunsuke would react when he learned that Sesshoumaru had already taken at mate without so much as notifying the court. If he had, he could have prevented such awkward situations from taking place. But, he realized with a small jolt that, though his heart might be there, at the moment, he was not physically, nor officially, mated to anyone.
Rin rolled another scroll up and made a small note on the outside rim before shelving it with others related to it. She had received her food and finished eating quite a while ago, and, instead of disturbing Sesshoumaru, who seemed to be in such a deep place of thought that she doubted she could rouse him from anyway, she decided to organize the heap of scrolls that were littered, not only on his table, but a second table as well.
Sesshoumaru's study had an outstanding amount of space that had not been available in the previous study. She had learned from Jaken that Sesshoumaru had retrieved several, and much older, scrolls from storage. Most of which had been written by his father, leaving Rin to assume that the inu-youkai was studying his father's methods of handling things to make sure he was on the right track. But, instead of putting them back, they had been left in the old study, as if for quick reference, but also took up necessary space.
And even though the move had happened several weeks ago, Sesshoumaru had not taken the time to completely organize everything in a decent fashion. Rin and Jaken had decided to leave it up to their lord, not wanting to upset him if they misplaced something, but at the moment, she decided it was best if she did it right now. Judging by how distracted he was, it was altogether possible that everything could remain unorganized until his guest had come and went.
Satisfied with her filing method, she placed the last of the scrolls accordingly and looked over at Sesshoumaru. He was still engrossed in something and she noted the strange crease in his forehead that made him almost unrecognizable. She frowned, wishing he would take a break before he got annoyed like he had been when he returned from his last patrol of the border. Realizing he could be there all night, she rose to his feet and moved behind him. When she placed her fingers on his temples, he gave a small jolt, as if he had been physically gone and her touch had snapped in back into reality.
"Welcome back," she said quietly, massaging the tension away.
Sesshoumaru closed his eyes for a moment. "Did you eat?"
"Hai, some time ago. You were busy when they brought it in."
"Hnn."
"Perhaps you should call it a night and get some sleep. It is getting late," she added, rubbing her fingers in a circular motion.
He grabbed one of her hands and rose to his feet. "This Sesshoumaru has absolutely no intention of sleeping tonight."
Before Rin could fully grasp what he was insinuating, Sesshoumaru was pulling her away, leading her to the private garden just off to the left of his room. They crossed the veranda in silence, feet quietly padding against the floor boards until they stepped off into a haven of trees. The stoned pathway was lit with a few torches as it weaved throughout out the garden before making a complete circle around a small pond. Lush, green grass hid flowers just preparing to bloom, but still promised a spectacular site once spring finally took its hold.
Sesshoumaru meandered off the path to the tree he had brought over from somewhere deeper in the forest covering his lands. He had been pleased that it had taken so well to the transplantation where he could enjoy it on a regular basis. So he sat, as he normally did, at its base, leaning heavily against it. He tugged Rin down to him, gesturing for her to sit between his legs and lean back against him. And so he sat, arms wrapped around her waist in content, as he formed what he wanted to say to her.
"Rin," he began evenly. "If this relationship is to work, I expect you to be honest and open with me."
She stiffened. "Sesshoumaru...I don't think it is a wise idea for us to pursue this relationship further than where it is now."
"Why? Because you think I will abandon you for being weak? You are far more stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"Onegai, do not try to flatter me. No matter how strong I may be, I will never be strong enough to ward off any enemies who may target me in order to get to you. Don't you see, Sesshoumaru, so long as I am a part of your life, I will be always be your weakness."
"You make this Sesshoumaru weak when you put him in a position in which he is unable to protect you or spare you from any pain," he accused her. "It happened when you left the miko's care and when you ran off with Eiji. In those situations you leave me to believe that I am some how unworthy of caring for you, and that Rin, makes me feel week."
Rin clenched her fist together. "I had no intention...I never meant..that isn't why I did it."
"Why then?"
"When I was sick..it was horrible. I smelled, and I had lost so much weight, I could tell. I didn't want to remind you of how frail I was, how weak. I didn't want to die thinking you regretted reviving me, just so I could die from some human sickness. I wasn't thinking about whether or not you could save me, I just didn't want you to see me that way."
"I saw you Rin, I endured the horrid scent, yet I loved you the same. Is that not enough to prove myself?"
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Thats hardly fair, neither of us were aware of our feelings at that point."
"True, but I had no desire to let you leave me for the other world. I have no desire for that now."
Rin sighed. "I know."
"Then why did you run off with Eiji? Why didn't you try to return to the village?"
She sat up and looked at him, realizing only now how deeply her behavior had affected him. It seemed that he was more hurt and frightened than angry, which was something she would have expected. Had she really wounded him so much by running away? By deliberately stepping out of his sphere of protection? She knew how protective he was, so it should not surprise her, but had it truly left him feeling so weak and helpless?
"I simply didn't want to let Eiji drag you into his foolish squabble by using me. I wouldn't allow it, I won't be used again. If you were to get hurt trying to save me, or..or..even..."
He waited a short moment, hoping she would finish the statement. "Or what?"
"Nothing, its nothing."
"Honesty and openness, Rin."
She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them before resting her forehead on her knees. "You could die, Sesshoumaru, because of me. You said so yourself that I would be the death of you one day. What if you suffer the same fate your father did by trying to rescue me? I could not live with myself knowing that I...that you..because of me..."
"Yamero," he demanded, leaning forward to wrap his arms around her once more. "Yamero. I would rather die for you than live knowing I failed to save you."
"But Sesshoumaru -"
"Damare, no more," he said, forcing her to turn and face him. "Is that why you think I should not take you as my mate? You believe I will die trying to protect you?"
She looked down at their lap instead of meeting his eyes. "Hai."
"Foolish girl, it is my duty, my right, and my desire to protect you. Every fiber of my being demands that I do so, and if I were to die in the process, my only regret would be that I have left you alone."
Rin gave him a blank look. "Who are you?"
Sesshoumaru merely stared at her in blank confusion, not sure what she meant.
"You are most certainly not Lord Sesshoumaru, the inu-youkai who protects nothing, who cares for nothing but himself. And such soft, heartfelt words are unbecoming of my Lord."
He gave her a small smile. "You should know better than to underestimate this Sesshoumaru."
"Hai," she said with a grin. "My Lord is full of surprises."
Sesshoumaru held her face in his hands, taking on a serious look until her eyes met his. "You must not think yourself weak Rin, enemies will use it against you. Know that there you fail in strength, or what ever ability you lack, I will make up for you and I will continue you train you to make sure you lack very little."
She smiled a little. "Wakatta, Sesshoumaru. Demo..."
"Nani?"
"...I would hardly define your brutality toward me as training," she teased.
"Hnn. This Sesshoumaru promises to be gentle in your other training in order to make it up to you."
Rin grinned as his lips slowly captured hers in a teasing kiss. "And when will that training finally begin?"
Sesshoumaru grasp her thighs and rose smoothly to his feet, carrying her back to the stoned pathway and to his room. It took all his control not to rip the sliding door from its tract, but after letting himself in and closing the door without incident, he carried her to his bed and lowered down to it.
"Now," he said, his voice rippling with lust. "Right now."
Yamero:Stop it/Enough / Damare:Silence/Shut up / Damaru:Be silent / Wakatta:I understand / Hai:Yes / Iie:No / Demo:But (correct me if I'm wrong, lol) Nani:What / Onegai:Please / Michiyuki:Overcoat (didn't know what else to have them train in!) /
sesshoumaruhasafluffytail: Aww I'm sorry! Hehe, I try to get to most people, but sometimes I skip over some when I'm moving from window to window . Sesshoumaru is indeed very sexy, and apparently very sexual (as seen in this chapter). Or maybe thats just my impression of him...
bluediamond-hime: I'd say it just got hotter, and its only going to get worse. I'm talking heat wave! But you gotta wait until the next chapter!
Yami Yasha 4ever: Yeah, their arguing did just that. They went so long without talking so it all had to come out eventually! I'm glad you liked the fighting scene.
Anna's pastime: Ahh no problem. As a reader, I know it sucks to wait so even though I can't update every day, I try to pick a consistent time so my readers know exactly when to expect a chapter. And no more backward steps for these two, promise! Oh wait..don't quote me on that, lol.
Angels Heart 1622: Reading the first line of your review made me very unhappy because I had managed to forget about the hell that was my finals. Thanks for reminding me...vv Its okay though, I hope I did well too! I have actually done very well so far. Because there were no classes this week and my final on Monday didn't require a lot of studying, I spent the weekend writing. I did three chapters! I'm proud of myself. P.S. - Is he going to kiss her again? HAHA OF COURSE!
DPM: I think I'll be saddened because I don't know if I can top this story! And I do so much enjoy the interaction w/my readers and knowing I bring them such pleasure! Anyway, I hope this chapter tied up some of those loose ends for ya! And thank you so much for the compliments! I agree about the Sess/Rin stories, there are so few good ones out there and I've read a lot of them! I'm glad that you guys consider this one of the good ones because I know there are better ones out there!
Perfect Impression: Maybe you shouldn't read the next chapter...hell you probably shouldn't have read the beginning of this chapter! Hehe, get some water and what is it, aspirin? Who knows what all those commercials advertise as the best heart medicine. Probably all lies anyway.
Verona: I actually wrote three chapters! I'm proud of myself. I've decided that I will shoot for an even 35, give or take a few. I'm done w/finals and I've completely packed my room up and I'm not leaving until the 14 so that gives me three full days to write about 5 chapters. If I'm motivated enough (i.e. not lazy), I should get it done. I read that story, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE RECOMMENDATION. I do not have the patience to search mediaminer and I have been looking for a good Sess/Rin fic to read to replace the ones I am reading that haven't been updating in ages. It was VERY sad & short, but enjoyable.
Bus Buddie: Can't have a love-hate relationship w/out the occasional gore, lol. Ahh, young love! These crazy kids crack me up too!
So if anyone didn't read over some of the comments I left for other readers, I have written 3 more chapters. As of write now, there are 30 chapters to this story, and MAYBE 5 more to write. I like even, round numbers, but it may be shorter than that. This story is very nearly finished. What does that mean for you? Well it means you'll be getting chapters on a daily basis as opposed to a weekly basis. I am very determined to finish this by Tuesday!
On another note, does anyone get as freaked out as me when updates the site? I always fear one or all of my stories will go bye-bye. Anyway, should this story disappear you will find it on mediaminer under the same title/author. As of right now, I haven't placed it there yet, and who knows when I will! The formatting at is so much better that I might not upload it there at all.
Anyway, thanks for reading! Sorry for the horrible cliffhanger, but I do it cause I love you all!
Rabid Anime Gurl
