In this chapter I am using A Minor Variation by Billy Joel I do not own it.
Sesshomaru sighed, something he hadn't done before she left him. He stood up and set down his now cold cup of coffee on the table, but he didn't let go. He watched his hand as if it had a mind of it's own. His grip began to tighten and his knuckles turned white. His sensitive hearing picked up the screeching sound that the straining glass made. Spidery cracks began to form, criscrossing over the glass and under his fingers, but he kept squeezing. Finally it gave way and the glass exploded in his hands. Glass shards flew everywhere and embedded themselves in everything. Sesshomaru didn't even flinch. He opened his hand and stared at the palm, the blood trickled down the creases and onto the floor, the tears of his heart.
Some days I have to give right in to the blues
He had given in everyday since she left.
Despite
how I try to keep fightin' / It's a sure shot I'm going to lose
He had yet to win the fight against the feeling, and he knew there was only one way to rise up from the rock hard bottom of despair that he was sitting on.
And
I'll tell you why / You think I'm crazy
"She must think I am a monster" the words flowed from Sesshomaru's mouth easily.
It's
such a sad composition
He whole life so far was a disaster.
But can you blame me / For what's been causing my bad disposition?
She never blamed him, not even after what he did. She was to forgiving. But he deserved to be blamed, and in leaving, she had sentenced him to the worst possible punishment, he was alone.
Ain't
nothing new with my blue situation / And nothing's fine it's just a
minor variation
Every night was the same, nothing new, nothing different.
When
troubles want to find me, I ain't hard to find
And troubles seemed to feed off of his despair.
They
know where I am / Like a hungry pack of wolves when it's feeding time
They consumed his whole life, and everything he touched. It left nothing alive, and when it coupled with his anger or despair, it formed a deadly team.
They
tear up a man
There was nothing left of his soul or heart, she had taken them both with her.
And
it's a strange thing / 'Cause now it don't really matter
Nothing mattered anymore, he just had to keep saying that and then it would all go away.
More
of the same thing / Don't even hurt it's a part of the pattern
A life of monotones. Nothing changing, once just to try and relieve himself of the pain he tried to blast his brains out with a shotgun. But his black blood had healed him to quickly.
But
still in all it's a small consolation / I just define it as a minor
variation
He woke to the same thing every day.
Ain't
no way to fight 'em, darling / Ain't no way around 'em baby / Ain't
no way to take 'em, honey / No where to hide and believe me I've
tried to shake 'em
Sesshomaru raised his head and looked at the ceiling, ignoring the blood still running down his hand. Why wouldn't she come back? There was no way to escape her memory.
I'm getting to the point where I don't feel the pain / And I've had enough
"No more, please no more." Sesshomaru pleaded to the air in front of him. The shapes of the furniture seemed like ghosts from the past, coming to destroy his life because he ruined theirs. His plea was quiet, almost whispered and it was that of a soul being shredded within a broken heart.
I'm
ready for the next time it hits me again
He wasn't ready. He never would be.
Cause
I've gotten tough
Not tough enough
It doesn't faze me
He wished it didn't.
And
now I've made my decision
He had made that decision to late.
I
may be crazy / It's not as though I don't know that condition
He had fallen head over heels for her and then she had left him to tumble alone back into the bottomless abyss of loneliness.
Until
I'm through with this blue situation / Pass me the wine, it's just a
minor variation
Getting drunk seemed to be the only relief that he could find. But his black blood had soon built up a resistance to it and now he had to drink enough liquor to get almost thrity men drunk before anything happened.
Ain't nobody's business, baby / Ain't nobody's worry darlin' / Ain't nobody's problem
When she had first left he had thought that it wasn't anybody's problem, so he had pushed everyone away, but now he was alone and regretted that action.
No
way to win when you've already been forgotten
It was beginning to sink in that she would never come back, she had probably already moved on and forgotten him. Would she ever know that he would never forget her?
And it's a strange thing / 'Cause now it don't really matter
People could do anything they wanted and he felt nothing.
More
of the same thing / Don't even hurt it's a part of the pattern
There was no way to stop his fall.
Until
I'm through with this blue situation / Pass me the wine, it's just a
minor variation
He would never be through and now there was nothing he could do about it. Sesshomaru smiled sadly and closed his eyes. His memory wandered thoughtfully through all of the wonderful memories that she was in. No, he would never forget her.
Yet another one done! Yay! I am almost half way through now. Thanks to my three wonderful reviewers! I am glad someone likes my story.
