In this chapter I am using River of Dreams by Billy Joel. I do not own it.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes and let the next song fill him. He drank up the beat and the sounds like a dying man. It entered his mind and the song began to sing.

In the middle of the night / I go walking in my sleep

Dreams.


From the mountains of faith / To a river so deep

From one end of his mind to the other


I must be looking for something / Something sacred I lost

My soul, my heart, my love


But the river is wide / And it's too hard to cross

He had drowned too many times trying, and he would keep doing it until he got across

And even though I know the river is wide / I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore

Wide enough to keep him from succeeding, short enough to keep him going


And try to cross to the opposite side / So I can finally find out what I've been looking for

So I can be healed, so I can live once more

In the middle of the night / I go walking in my sleep

Every night, every day, every minute, every hour, every second


Through the valley of fear / To a river so deep

He searched through it all


And I've been searching for something / Taken out of my soul

It was his soul


Something I would never lose / Something somebody stole

She took it from me, and I deserved it

I don't know why I go walking at night / But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore

"No more, please make it stop." A tear slid down his face and joined the rest on the floor.


I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life / Until I find what it is that I've been looking for

He had all the time in the world, and he would do whatever it took to find her

In the middle of the night / I go walking in my sleep

He never had a rest


Through the jungle of doubt / To a river so deep

"Please not again."


I know I'm searching for something/ Something so undefined / That it can only be seen / By the eyes of the blind

He was broken, shattered and couldn't pick the pieces back up


In the middle of the night

Not only then

I'm not sure about a life after this / God knows I've never been a spiritual man

Human religion was not for him


Baptized by the fire, I wade into the river / That runs to the promised land

It ran to her


In the middle of the night / I go walking in my sleep

He kept walking and walking and walking and never stopped, and never would stop


Through the desert of truth / To the river so deep

Again and again and again and again


We all end in the ocean / We all start in the streams

We start at the beginning and work our way through life, only sometimes, it never ends


We're all carried along / By the river of dreams

If only it would take him to her, all the way home


In the middle of the night

The song ended and Sesshomaru raised his head. He floated down the flowing, rippling, and painful river of memory. It scorched him and he felt his body being burned away to reveal what he really was. He shied away, not wanting to see himself that way. So completely exposed and his soul bared so clearly. He saw himself as Kagome saw him and he shuddered. There was no blame, only sorrow. She had blamed it on his demon instincts, and she accepted it. No demon lord could accept a female as their firstborn and their heir. Every demon lord would kill their firstborn child if it was a female. Even him. She couldn't live with it. How could anyone live with someone who had killed your child? No tears were shed by her that night, but the look on her face tore him to shreds. She left him to linger on his thoughts. For what seemed like thousands of years she left him alone, at first he blamed her, but now he knew he deserved it. All of it. Slowly he sorted his thoughts out again and looked back over time, he started at the beginning.

Okay, so it is kind of a cliffy, but it sets it up for the next song! Thanks for all the reviews! Keep them comin'.

Thanks to: Unicorn'sWhisper, Secrets N Lies, MacDuffyGirl, Kira the Mizu Ryuu, The Squabbit, DarkMistress44

I know is confusing and I repeat myself, but that is just what fits with the lyrics. Sorry, and bare with me! Only two more chapters, maybe a third.