AN: I wrote this some time back in March I believe it was. It was completely accidental and not even meant to be written. You are probably wondering how that is possible, but it is. From what I can remember it was around the beginning of softball season and someone had asked me for an idea for a new libbie fic. I agreed and went to start one off for them, only to find myself writing this whole thing here. She attempted to take it over, but of course after that we both agreed maybe this was meant to stay the way it was and be mine. Now that you know the history...here is a mysterious one shot to keep anyone new or that has read any of my other fics occupied while I try to come up with an update for some of my other stories.
FAMILIAR SHADOWS
The outline of Robbie's body was barely visible as I looked towards my window, lying alone and still in the bed that I usually shared with Ray since we'd been married.
Tonight Ray was working late and storm clouds were closing in around our house before I had turned out the lights.
It was a surprise to see Robbie in my window, whom I had not seen since we moved to Toronto a few months earlier. We had exchanged emails in that time, but he had never mentioned a visit. I knew from the time of night and his means of entering the house that it was meant to be unexpected.
I got out of bed and walked over to the window to allow him inside. It brought back memories of the past that Ray had never known about. In a way it made me feel strange because there was a part of our shared past that I had never told Ray even though we knew practically everything there was to know about each other's lives.
"What are you doing here," I whisper to him as Robbie takes a seat in a chair that is in a corner of the room.
"I saw the forecast and Ray told me he'd gotten switched to late shifts. I know how you're afraid to be alone when there is a storm," he says as I sit on the edge of my bed looking over at him.
"We are adults now. You don't think I can handle a storm by myself already," I say in attempt to sound offended.
Just as I say this though I hear a clap of thounder and jump out of my seat and into Robbie's arms.
"You can handle it huh," Robbie says with one of his famous laughs.
I take my arms out from the embrace around his body so that I am free to cross them.
I stick my tounge out and stomp back over to the bed, forgetting to withhold any maturity.
I ignore the storm outside and look over at Robbie who seems to be stuck in a daze.
I wave my hand in front of him and he snaps out of it with hesitation.
"What were you thinking about," I ask him with deep curiosity.
"I was just remembering the good old days. The times when I lived close enough to you that whenever there was a storm I could sneak over to your house to "protect" you from your fear of thunder."
I smile at the memory of the past.
Then it turns into a frown as I think of what happend to those days back when.
"I'm sorry Robbie," I say as a sincere apology.
"For what?"
"For not needing you to be there during storms anymore. It was something that we always kept between us, and it still is. Then it was mostly because I didn't want to admit my fear and you didn't want anyone to know you were a softie. After everything happend between Ray and I, I guess it must have felt like I'd replaced you with a new security blanket."
"Lily, that isn't something you had control over. Ray and you were meant to be and it was obvious for so long. We never loved each other that way."
I listen to his words and can feel that his last sentence was a flat out lie. I knew it too in my heart that it wasn't the truth. At some time we had had something, but we were just too young to notice it.
"Your wrong," I say after a moment of silence.
Robbie looks at me and I know he is wondering what I mean.
"Wrong about what?"
I hesitate to say what is on my mind because it seems wrong to talk about while you are married to someone else.
"That I never loved you like I love Ray," I say as I move my head down to look at the floor.
He looks at me wide eyed as I lift my
head back up at him feeling ashamed to admit it and
regreting
everything at the same time.
His expression changes and he takes a deep breath.
"I love you too,"
he says shakily as if Ray could pop
out of a corner any second.
It is his turn to look to the floor. He attempts to get up
from his seat in the direction of the window to
leave, but I stop
him.
"Robbie...don't go."
"I have to. This isn't right. We can't talk about this when you have a life with Ray already set out in front of you."
I get up and grab his arm.
"You said love Robbie, as in present tense."
He turns around to look at me and I am too busy looking into his eyes to let go.
Before he has time to get away I lean up into him and we share a deep, but short kiss.
We pull back at the same time and I can hear a the sound of the front door creaking downstairs.
Robbie opens the window and begins to slip out. I look at him with sorry eyes and hope this doesn't mean he won't be coming back.
We dont speak another word but I know that we now have a
second secret between us. This one Ray can for sure
never find out
about though. Guilt overwhelms me as I lay back in the bed and try to
pretend to be sleeping as
Ray enters the room quietly.
"Lily, are you awake," he asks softly as not to wake me if I am asleep.
"No," I say even though answering obviously contradicts my own response.
"Sorry my hours got changed at work. I know you don't like being alone during storms."
He slips into bed beside me and I am afraid that if he kisses me he'll be able to taste what is still lingering there from when I had kissed Robbie.
Luckily he is really tired and resorts to a quick kiss on the cheek before turning the other way and falling into a deep sleep.
I don't know what time I fell asleep, but for a fact I was lying awake deep in thought for a while before I finally dozed off.
AN: I know, it isn't exactly an ideal event...but you have to admit there is a lot of mystery left open with this right? I'd appreciate some feed back to keep me company as I try to get back into a writing mood for my other fics.
